future – Page 2 – A Life in Words

Monday 21/7/86

Oh! It’s (almost) 9:15 and I’ve just done about ¾ page of my english assignment. I must get a move on (it’s obvious I won’t get it done for tomorrow, even though it was due today.) We’re riding tomorrow, too!! Goody! I love riding. Boring day, really. Almost fell asleep in doub. chem. almost fell asleep in trip. art and almost fell asleep in maths (Nah! I was laughing in maths) Cameron’s so nice. I’m really, really truly glad he is my great friend. Did no other HW tonight (am getting way behind in maths; I just don’t understand it.) Lotsa bugs around [we didn’t have flyscreens on our windows or doors: louvres are hard to fit and french doors lose their charm if you try to fix screen doors to them. Plus, we probably couldn’t afford them] and … it’s quite warm tonight (hold it, I’ll open some windows, I think!!) Believe it or not Trish said hello to me today. Why she being so nice?? [why not?] mima was away – got a wog. [While in Australian slang the word ‘wog’ is a derogatory term for generally southern Europeans, it is also used to describe illness, like she got a ‘bug’] don’t really feel like saying I love mark cos do I??

Tuesday 22/7/86

I laughed a lot today. In Bio, Chris (K) was telling Donna & I all about Cameron’s accidents… he is so accident-prone! Broken bones, cuts & abrasions… car accidents you name it; he’s had it!! And laughing in maths, too!! Funneeee!! I really don’t think I love Mark. I look at him (when I can) but I think that’s all it is – I just think he’s gorgeous. I mean, I don’t feel for him I suppose my feelings could change if ‘something’ happened (when?) I could get properly interested in him, but at the moment, I’m not. Brent was teasing me about it in front of a whole lot of people at lunch time today. Did little HW today but I’m stayin home tomorrow!! Sports Carnival is on (mima & fi are too) I’ve got heaps HW to do → esp. speech. mima told me this morning when we were riding to school that our speech exam has been put forward. We now have 3 weeks to go. SHIT!!

Wednesday 23/7/86

Boy am I tired!! “Mistral’s daughter” finished about 11:30 I slept in though! (I stayed home!!) At speech, mima said she’d tried to ring me but the answering machine was on. I was home, too. Oh well!! (I am very far behind in speech. Didn’t get any done today – I was doing my english. Come to think of it, I got very little of that done too!! – But I did a lot more tonight.) I still have maths to catch up on. Oh woe is me. wedding (Royal one) [Prince Andrew getting hitched to Sarah Ferguson] was on. Watched parts of it while I did my english. Am bloody tired. Could not get my eyes open all this morning!! Took me about 3 or 4 hours to wake up!! Bloody bugs all over the place. Is 11:15. Another late night (SHIT)

Thursday 24/7/86

I’ve come to a definite conclusion. I don’t ‘like’ Mark anymore. Sure, he’s still the most gorgeous hunk, but I don’t really care what happens to him. I mean, he could have made an attempt (he has in the past) but he’s too shy (I’m really one to speak, huh??!!) To begin with, if he likes me so much, why fuck Tricia? [1. He’s attracted to her] And even if he did go with her after it to make her feel ‘respectable’, why has it been 2 weeks? Why didn’t he drop her after 1?? [Clearly it’s not just ‘obligation’] He’s stupid. Does he really think I’d like him after he did that? What a dickhead. [Oh the Green Monster.. it’s ugly isn’t it?] Anyway, I got my assignment (english) done but didn’t hand it in. Will tomorrow. Bio exam tomorrow, 1st period. Cheat!!! [Cheat? That’s not like me!] Is 9:40. Will I get to sleep early tonite??? Rode again today. I love it!!

Friday 25/7/86

I am so tired (watching Commonwealth Games at the moment) Ate a big dinner. Err…!!! In Biol, (we didn’t have our exam as Mr Short was away) our relief teacher gave us all these logic (etc) problems. Was fun. At the end we were doing anagrams, & I got one right, and Duane (Dwain!!) said something to embarrass me (it worked) – (all the guys were sitting near, too!) Donna reckons “guess who was looking at you and smiling?” I said, “I don’t care”, but I had the biggest smile on my face!! Otherwise, a boring day. Nothing fantastic happened at all. The news is on now. I think I’ll go to bed now. I am tired. Not working tomorrow. Don’t feel like it. Lucy’s birthday in 4 days. What’ll I do for her?? Ring her?? Or send something?? I wish, wish, wish Mark cared about me so much that… that he wouldn’t hurt me so. [haha, so fickle! Thought you didn’t care?!] 9:35

Saturday 26/7/86

I did very little of everything today; except eat. I pigged out so ‘severely’! And I wonder why I’m fat (or at least, bulgy) Oh well! Watched TV, did bitta HW (have left maths & english for tomorrow) Am tired – Is 10:10 Comm. Wealth Games are on (Australia leading in medal tally so far!! 6 gold!!! Yay!!!) Dunno if I’ll go to bed yet, or not… I’m tired but I can sleep in (or can I?? I didn’t this morning) Wish things were like they were before. Before I found out Mark liked me; before Sharon knew I liked him. Now, it’s useless. We both know & are both too shy. It’s not fair. Not fair. Oh well…. life MUST go on. 10:20 now. Oh. (winge, whine) why does Mark have to be such a jerk?????????????? [Oh my GOD… never satisfied!]

A Life in Words — Neil Brooks was one of Australia’s swimming medallists at the 1986 Commonwealth Games

Sunday 27/7/86

Ha Ha Ha. What a bludge. Yes, you guessed it; I did next to nothing constructive except PIG OUT yet again. I can’t believe how much I eat. Went to visit Nana again (we went Friday night, too→ she’s in hospital again – she stopped taking all her tablets cos they were making her sick and got a bad [rheumatoid] arthritis attack again. Poor nin) [‘Nin’ was a nickname we had for our Nana] Boring! Watched Comm. Games ‘Hi lives’ again this morning & are watching live now. Aust has won 5/10 possible golds in swimming so far. Excellent huh?!!! Want a reasonably early night. Is 9:30 now. Probly get to bed around 10:00. Am a bit hot, too. Did only a bit of maths HW today. Thank god for school!! (Started to worry today, again, about my future after school→ it really frightens me. About Mark; well, I just wish it could be different. It won’t work.

Monday 7/4/86

Very boring, actually. I was glad to be back at school, but tried to stay out of YKW’s way cos I hated my hair. Most people did notice. Some really liked it but by far the majority thought it was just “nice”. [Tell tale sign that they actually didn’t care, Liss!] I told everyone I didn’t like it. And that’s the truth. [I still do this, and I really don’t see it as being self-deprecating. I honestly just tell the truth.] Fiona told me today that ugly “tough” black guy with big lips and nose & crucifix earring likes me. Lynette C told her. I always score the YUKKY ones I wish Mark liked me. Oh, how I wish. I also wish my hair’d grow back fast. No poops at school→ got the pains but withheld and, surprise, surprise, the one I did tonight was about 90% normal! [Surprise, surprise! Oh dear] 9:34. Didn’t do any HW naughty. mima & fi weren’t on the bus → they went with Mr G. Also went different ways after school

[And at the back of the diary in ‘Notes’ section, I’d written:] Yeah man! It’s the 7th – I’m back at school in 2nd term. My first week of this month was shithouse. I was sick and depressed (about mainly my flop of a hairstyle. N’ever mind…..)

Tuesday 8/4/8

Cross Country run. Didn’t even get a place. [Seriously? Reading this I was surprised that I’d even written it. Did I really think it was a remote possibility? I wasn’t a runner, I barely exercised on a regular basis. That is strange …and funny.] Heather, Justine, Mima, Fi, Joannah & Megan & I ran sort of together. Actually we walked most of it. I’ve got aches in my legs now – not like from doing the exercise → like growing pains. At the end Mima, Fiona & Joannah, Melissa [uh, Melissa? Who’s that? I think I meant Megan] ran ahead. But we (J,H [Justine, Heather] & me) beat them cos although we walked, we jumped the fence instead of going all the way round. Did no HW again. Bad, huh? I’ve got to do some Esp. chemistry tomorrow night – exam on Thursday. “mmmm…looks good to me” is my new thing about Mark “mmm” is mark. [Oh really? I’d NEVER have guessed…] Another late night. Yes! 9:45. My watch band broke on the run. Gonna hafta get it fixed proply

Wednesday 9/4/86

Got 43½/50 for my Biology & 8/15 for Chemistry. Worse still, it’s 10:50 and I have barely looked at my chemistry work for my exam tomorrow. I got only 4 more flowers (all the others they were all out of) & a lot of speech homework. And my art isn’t finished. I’m in a real fix. I’ll hafta wake early. My watch is fixed. I forgot to clean my teeth this morning & put deodourant on. Not a good start, huh?! Now my feet; I think I have damaged from the cross country in sandshoes…There’s a big hard lump in the bottom of my left heel. I don’t feel good at all. I got my fringe straight today → blow-dry technique. Geez. I really feel down sometimes

Thursday 10/4/86

I did fail chemistry, I’m sure. I knew almost nothing. Heather & Brent & I (don’t tell anyone) cheated a little – compared answers. I think I’ll have to start a home study timetable or I’ll fail chemistry and maths. Biology and english are basically simple compared to those. [I am definitely a ‘words’ not ‘numbers’ person (which is why I’m amazed that I ever thought of accountancy as a career prospect) and as it turn out, biology has come to figure prominently in my fitness career] It’s 10:20 Another late night. Watched TV, started my journal for art (when I realised I’d left the script [?] at school so I couldn’t do it anyway) then did (or started) what I hope to be my 6-adjective piece. Didn’t get to see Halley’s Comet again. Haven’t seen it yet. That’s appalling. It’ll be out of sight soon too. Trust the weather to be bad when it’s visible. [This was the only opportunity I would have to see Halley’s Comet in my lifetime…unless I reach the age of 90 with perfect vision (and, uh, that’s already an impossibility) Since it returns to our solar system every 75-76 years, it’s not expected again until mid 2061. Bummer, dude.] Ate a lot when I got home from school. Always do. It’s a shame. I eat little except when I get home. I could be losing weight. Wish I didn’t pig out at hm. Mark was away today. (So was Angela M) You don’t think…? Nah. Impossible! (??)

Friday 11/4/86

11:20. How time flies. Only an hour ago, it was 9:00, I could’ve sworn! My throat is slowly killing me (well, not quite) I am worried about what I will do after Yr 12. I’m so insecure. [No idea, which I wasn’t to know, is the same for many…] Geoff advised me to get a job and found a career before dabbling in art, cos’ the competition in that arena these days is so high. But I want also to go where most of my friends go (not “James Cook” Uni – yuk – townsville [JCU was a new tertiary education institution then and was founded in Townsville, Cairns’ rival city] I hate thinking about it. I’m terrified. I might be getting a cold I think Hope not. Bludge in double english – Mr Grossetti was away. Did bio assignment & decorated my diary. Wondering if Mark really does like me or if it’s his way of flirting. Hope he does He was away again. And I’ve had a sore throat all day – it’s been a bad day

Saturday 12/4/86

$28.20. (I let dad keep the 20c!!) I did $12.20 worth of drums – big and little. And 4½hrs work (sales tax.) It could have been 7½hrs, but my foolishness cut it back. You see, when I started at 11:30, I went the wrong way doing the tax so I’d just repeated what was already done. This was at 2:45, I realised. Dad said he wasn’t going to pay for my mistake [hard task-master], so I started again – correctly this time and worked till 7pm. My itches also became worse today (ever since Wed, I’ve been getting really itchy all over, but only for a short time in the mornings) Today I came up in lumps And was totally red from scratching. Now I have blood blisters from it. Yuk [I get itches these days too but it’s definitely not the same as this. ‘Neural Dermatitis’ doesn’t produce lumps, rashes or any other kind of skin affliction.] 11:00 LATE AGAIN. Wonder if Mark is at Anne Maries Birthday party. Wonder… I like him. [You don’t say?]

Sunday 13/4/86

AUNTIE HILARY’S HERE!! She came at 11:30. I did my art today. Wanted to get english, bio & maths done too but didn’t have time. I read over some of my diary (the parts that I was at school) [True procrastination – no time to do all my homework but time enough to read my diary…] Esp. about Mark. Gee, I was so confused then (not saying I’m not now) One day I’d be sure (?) he liked me, the next he wasn’t interested. Its all the same, tho, huh? Always like that. Jodie gave us a present – a cute exercise book & pen. Cold is just nasal now i.e.: no sore throat just blocked & runny nose. Nose is sore. Is 8:56 Early-ish nite for once. School is tops except for the work. (!!!)

Tag: future

Bugs, Broken Bones, Bitching & the Commonwealth Games (21-27 July)

Cross Country, Halley’s Comet & Sales Tax (7-13 April)