Final Days of ’85 & some Bonus Rubbish

Monday 30/12/85A Life in Words

Gee, it’s the 2nd last day of the year, 1985. I’ve got a new diary ready. for ’86. It’s colder tonight than it’s been over the whole lot (3!) [I’m not sure if that means 3 degrees, or 3 nights? In summer, in northern Queensland, my guess is it would have to be the latter since 3 degrees is a rarity there, despite being inland.] Today we lazed round again (listening to tapes – doin’ nothin’) Bit of rain & a little sun. After 12:00 we walked upstream till we came to the bridge Then we walked back to camp, along the road. Later we drove up to see our old camping site – it’s changed quite a lot. [Davies Creek had been a ‘return site’ for many camping trips, that began way back when mum and dad were still together.] Shallower, less trees & more rocks – a big diff. Very late tea (dinner) tonight. Hope it doesn’t rain – last night it did (apparently (cos I was asleep like a log)) & Julia’s stuff got wet. Am glad to go home tomorrow, in a way. But this is a beautiful area – would like to return. I have an idea of my New Year’s Resolutions [what, no hints??]…….→(is 10:50 now)

Tuesday 31/12/85

On the last day of 1985, I woke around 7:30 & had a large breakfast before spending the remaining 3/or 4 hrs packing up. Then we cleaned up [we ALWAYS tried to leave every environment as untouched as we found it] & relaxed for the last 1½hrs. We left Davies Creek at 1:30. At home (about 3:00) I unpacked quickly, then re-packed. Helped unpack at dad’s then got ready to go to theNew Years Parties. I’m ready now. I don’t want to leave writing this till I get home because it’ll be 1986 by then. We’re going to two parties (that I know of)Bond’s & some other person’s from Price Waterhouse. Amanda & Janelle will be at both, too. We’re taking our togs. I’ll be optimistic & happy tonight & hopefully that will get me on a good start for 1986.

A Life in Words

  A Life in Words

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Life in Words
Not sure if you can read this, but it’s pretty entertaining to see me deride myself. Sooking on one day, then scolding myself weeks later!

25/9/85

Thinking about past times when writing my ’84 diary, I miss the fun the 3 of us had. All the things we did together on the holidays & even some weekends/weekdays were so fun! I wish it could be relived But I don’t WORRY about it anymore (e.g. – pages previously) I will be content, however little happier if some past events would again occur. Still, life goes on & past things must be “forgotten” Someone said (Tom Bailley – Thompson Twins) That near death, however, you wish to  be with past memories parents, personal possessions etc. Then again, it could just be because he is a Capricorn!!

Justine is not my best friend. I have no best friend (s) I go out with her because she invites me. I must lead a good social life. If I am tied down, hoping to be included in everything Jemima & Fiona do, I will miss out on lots of wonderful things. After all, these are meant to be the best years of your life (Really?) I must learn to be responsible for myself & not DEPEND too much on OTHERS AND JEALOUSY is not an Admirable virtueNotes 3

PREZZIES!! (Xmas)

Mum Material for shorts, candies, $1

Dad 2 sets of beads & bangle (aqua & apricot) + $20 Chandlers voucher + $40 (for clothes)

Julia [sis] singlet

Nana [my grandmother – mum’s mum] nightie, note paper, earrings, necklace, soaps (6, I think) cover stick (make up) Hankies

Geoff [mum’s partner] walkman, $10, candies

Papa [my grandfather – dad’s dad] $20

Jenny & Co [dad’s partner, my future stepmother] ½ shares in a year’s subscription of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC + $10 ½ shares with Julia in a Chandlers gift voucher

Anthony [my to-be-step brother] candle & novelty glass

The Bests [family friends  – of mum’s partner] Sleeping shirt & bubble bath

Hilary, Jodie, Mike [mum’s sister’s family] etc earrings + midriff singlet

Bev & Co [dad’s brother’s family] Blue T-Shirt

Pam & Co [dad’s sister & family] $10 voucher – Chandlers

Mrs M [my mum’s partner’s mother] necklace (chain)

 

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Portable Music, Leeches & Short Short Hair (23-29 December)

Scrawled across the top of the pages opening to Sun 22nd & Mon 23rd Dec: Have got to get a new (’86) Diary – look how fast 1985 is going!!

Monday 23/12/85A Life in Words

I only really ever start to feel hot at night when I come into my room – it is a very hot room. I need a fan or something like it. Went to Justine’s today (didn’t sleep in this morning) around 10:30. She came here (I gave her her choccys & at her place, she gave me my prezzy – pretty frost-colour nail polish.) At her place (we rode there) we talked, swam, watched videos (Inspector Gadgets & Countdowns) & also listened to Justine’s new walkman – it’s unreal! There’s no normal headphones – just ear-plug type things really groovy!! & it’s auto reverse! (You don’t have to turn the tape over – it plays the alternate side automatically.) ITS GREAT!! Hope I get a walkman – really want one now. [The birth of portable music! I still forget that most people younger than me have no idea what a cassette tape is. And auto-reverse? Pfft! It’s interesting that the large headphones are making a comeback, after I frothed here about the tiny ear bud ones.]  Went late night. Yes Monday late night for the late Xmas shoppers. Julia got some togs. Mum got the present Julia’s going to give me & we all looked at tapes. Can’t wait to buy them!! Early-ish nite.

Tuesday 24/12/85A Life in Words

Woke early – lazed around all morning (watched a bit of TV, etc) We’re minding the Fishers’ birds & Julia & I cleaned the cage today. Julia went to the movies (saw Teen Wolf with (hunky) Michael J. Fox – the one I wanna see.) Meanwhile mum & I went to take Nana to hospital – her arthritis is getting really bad lately (took her, for eg, over 1 hour to stand up out of bed this morning – Bad, huh?) [Rheumatoid arthritis is apparently hereditary. Mum began to get her symptoms around the age of 50 but her sister hasn’t suffered from it at all. I am wondering who of my sister & I will be the lucky recipient. I have had my rheumatoid factor checked by my GP and there’s nothing at the moment. Considering rheumatoid arthritis is an auto-immune disease, I am hoping that my relatively strict healthy lifestyle defers any chance I have of contracting it.] Then we did miscellaneous shopping (the Bloodbank was shut – thank god – it woulda bin boring waiting for mum) Watched TV at home. Got a postcard from Fi she thought my letter was great!! She actually laughed!! AND she also got her hair cut SHORT!! Now, that’s impelled me to get mine short…like this. [See the photo of the original diary entry, below. This was clearly one of those times I’d run out of space on the original day and carried over to the next day’s pageA Life in Words (I want) Back: layered Is 9:50. Open prezzies 2morrow!! UNREAL!!

Wednesday  25/12/85

I can’t help feeling guilty about feeling “deprived” with (some) no, truthfully – most of my presents. Mainly the clothes, tho. All shirts 2 night shirts, 3 daywear. I hate them all. And I am terribly ashamed at the same time. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. But I HATE them. Yuk Yuk Yuk Yuk. I won’t use them – that’s a TERRIBLE waste. [Here it is again. The truth behind my apparent Ingratitude. I despise waste. Of any kind. But here, it’s the idea that my loved ones have wasted their money on things that I didn’t want.] (Today we watched TV – thrilling, huh?? Visited Nana – boring?? Yep. Then watched TV again thrilling, huh??) BORING XMAS DAY. I’m getting all worked up again, now. Sposed to be happy, merry etc …. I hear all people on the radio saying got heaps of clothes which they all love – it’s not fair. Why can’t people satisfy me?? [Fussy. I have always been ‘particular’. Clothes, food, men, routine…] NOT FAIR Late night (11:00 overcast day today

Thursday 26/12/85

Ate sooo much junk today. All I had that was “good” was 2 “Good Start” biscuit (brekky biscuits) + 1 piece ham + some home-made chips. All the rest (and there was heaps of it) was junk – pure junk (lollies, cashews, shortbread, chocolate, fruit cake etc) [Um yeah… with hindsight, I’d now say the only “good” was the cashews and home-made chips. Breakfast biscuits certainly aren’t good for you and I barely touch ham now because it’s full of nitrites] YUK. I watched TV all day. Mum made our shorts out of our material. They’re sooo cute (I like mine best, but) – Although mine need a few minor adjustments. Visited Nana later, too. Well, looks like BOXING DAY ’85 was more boring than my average weekend spent doing HW, during school. Great, huh? Oh, well. Tomorrow am gonna get haircut not the perm + togs & watchband (I’m gonna take my old white digital watch to Davies Creek [going camping with Dad] cos’ it’s water resistant to 30m (I think) which means I can swim with it) cos the old one’s broken + Hopefully our walkmans will be at Big W. And we’ll get all the tapes we want from Chandlers (CAN’T WAIT!!) Is 9:45 pretty early 2 nite, huh?!

Friday 27/12/85

FRIDAY DEC. 27. Y’know I still haven’t got a diary for ’86 yet. (Yes I did! I got it today – unfortunately it’s just like this – there are NO diaries anywhere. (that are bigger, that is.)) Got a red singlet & blue togs just like julia’s (but one size larger – 12) + white sunnies which I love!! + a stupid, cheap watchband for my old white watch. Nana came out of hospital. AND I GOT MY HAIR CUT SHORT!! Very short. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it, but now I’m used to it I love it except: I’d like the sides, above the ears, cut short. At the moment it’s just a very short bob. Also got the 4 cassettesA Life in Words (Eurythmics, Thompson Twins, Elton John and the Eurogliders + 4 blank cassettes for recording other records e.g. Wham! Tears 4 Fears, Dire Straits etc. Early-ish nite. Gotta pack 2morrow. Also!! Returned the green singlet from Julia to Sportique & (paid an extra $4) got a blue sleeveless T-shirt with deep V back!! UNREEAL!!

Saturday 28/12/85

Dad came late (around 10:30) went shopping (saw Skinner & lotsa people who probably did see my hair) The only one to say anything was Jenny. After shopping, went to Neil M’s & dad helped him put up the out-of-ground pool. Then around 3:30, went to Holloways, Anthony packed for Melbourne (changed his booking to tomorrow instead of Jan 3., so not coming camping) Got here around 5:30. Is beautiful – shady & shallow pools (one deep part) Didn’t bring my plate – deliberately – I don’t think my teeth need it anymore. [Ha!] Pretty late now – had dinner at 9:15. Radio doesn’t work in the car – think it’s only cos’ the batteries are going flat. Wore this ADINA watch in the water – is working fine (water’s cold) Is 10:45 – Pretty cool, too. Nite!

Sunday 29/12/85

Cold last night! (I wasn’t but Julia was.) Woke up a lot, very squeaky every time we moved. [I am assuming this was the air bed we must have been sleeping on. Airbeds tend to be noisy, for those who don’t know.] Today was lazy. Did nothing till about 12:00 when we walked downstream (I got a beesting on my knee) to a giant waterfall (we were at the top of it) & stayed there lazing in the pools. Lotsa leeches (tiny ones) which liked me, but luckily got no chance to suck my blood. Came back around 4:30 – Abbo boys here – thought they might’ve nicked things cos’ they looked pretty sus, but nothing was missing. The Mattheson’s went home around 5:00. I just listened to the radio tonight. Is warmer 10:03 now I’ve swum with my watch & it’s fine – unreal!! I’ll continue wearing it I think!

Pandas & Rainbows & Mary, Queen of Scots (16-22 December)

Monday 16/12/85

Am BOILING Just now. wasn’t too bad today – just got hot (noticeably hot) in the last 10 mins. Today was O.K.. Got Julia’s prezzy ( a brightly patterned & coloured singlet) & the other ½ of mum’s (the $30 voucher from Sussan’s.) A Life in WordsGot Lucy’s – a plastic novelty (wine) glass from Mr Timothy’s [a local novelty gift store, along the lines of the 80’s franchise Granny May’s] & filled with smarties & the fucking cup broke when mum dropped it. So, now, I won’t have time to get Lucy one cos’ I’m not going to the movies. Fuck that I haven’t got any money. But I’ve gotta see Lucy tomorrow – to give her a present & that book. Saw Steven B today. Is a spunk but I don’t feel for him (like Mark too) as I still do for Sean. Tim’s a blurry shadow. Yuk. Early-ish (hot) nite.

Tuesday 17/12/85

Went to Earlville with Julia this morning till about 12:30. Got Nana’s, mima’s, Lucy’s (new one), Fi’s & Beka’s presents. Nana – 2 prs stockings [oh my dear Nana…who used to wear stockings year round, because it’s just what you did. Regardlless of heat and/or humidity. Such a staunch traditionalist] & 1 bottle of perfume & for Lucy, Beka mima & fiona, acrylic patterned glasses ‘filled’ with smarties & M&Ms. Have to give Lucy hers tomorrow. Gotta get Geoff’s & Justine’s now. Thank god. Will, hopefully, have some leftover too. Ate sooo much today – lotsa chocolate. Feel so fat & bloated. [There’s a good indication there of my ability to sense the effects of poor food choices…er, even if it is only emotional (guilt) at this stage.] Is humid not hot. Am tired – having an early nite (9:10) Wrapped all the prezzys & made little ‘tag’ cards. Thinking of making Nin some decorations & a tree but remember she’s going away. [Now at what stage in life did I lose this creative desire? Gift tags, christmas decorations? These days I’m hard pressed giving any card with a present. And I hardly ever bother with a christmas tree.] Everyone is. Xmas & New Year will be boring this year. (Got in a big cranky rage this arvy – terrible – swear like hell & throwing things & slamming doors. Am HOT now. Tired. Nite. PS looked for new diaries – found none

Wednesday 18/12/85A Life in Words

The only time I really start to feel hot & sticky is at night. Am soooo HOT!! Early nite – watched last episode of Sons & Daughters for ’85 [Really? I didn’t know Sons and Daughters was still going in ’85] Country Practise’s last episode is tomorrow night. Today I ate soooooooooooo much. Am getting terribly fat in the stomach again (again? You mean as usual!) Feel ashamed. Today, Lucy left. I went around to her place around 9:45. Helped her finish packing etc. Picked up Beka & went to the airport. Was all very quick I didn’t cry – Mrs Warner, Beka & Jane did – my eyes watered a little. Gonna miss her – will try to write letters (if not, notes will do) per week & send them down in bunches. [Well, the thought is admirable. Am fairly sure that didn’t happen…] this arvy I ate, watched TV, ate, drew & vegetated. That’s about my style. AM HOT. Is 8:45PM  SLEEPY – NITE!!

Thursday 19/12/85

Lazy day. Was tired – got up – did a bit of drawing, then spent the rest of the day in my bedroom, on my bed, listening to the radio & tapes and reading through old ‘Dolly’ magazines. Then rode down to hairdressers. Spent a lot of time deciding what to do with my hair (everyone ‘except Geoff & me think I should have short hair… YUK!!) Finally, just got a little trim & an Inch off the back – nice’n’short (-ish) now!! Casual, cool!! Watched TV at home, then went to park – no big thrill till Julia, Fiona, Rachel, Melanie & Melinda decided to strip me. I stormed home. Got into tears. Absolutely thrashed Julia when mum called her home. Then had a BIG fight. Julia rang dad. Mum got upset & cried. Poor mum, I feel the strain she bears, now. Will try to help more. Start by doing some housework & cooking meals. Late nite. Not too HOT now. Am tired. Nite.

Friday 20/12/85

Mum & I went shopping today, at Kmart & Big W (Earlville) I’ve now finished my Xmas list!! (Geoff – put towards a $20 shirt (mum paid rest) & Justine – a box a choccies) Also, got $20 from papa to spend. Dunno what to get – will ask mum if she can get me something (I love surprises!) [….as long as I like what I’m given…] Watched movie am bugared – Dunno why I did. Also, went to Richardson’s & got pretty material with Pandas & rainbows!! Can’t wait to make the shorts!! They’ll be unreal!! [Oh I remember those! There was a time when women’s boxers or pajama-style shorts – to be worn as outerwear – came in, so the ‘cuter’ the fabric print, the better.] Wasn’t too hot today; then again, we were in air conditioning most of the day. Is almost 11:00 – must get some sleep

Saturday 21/12/85

Is 10:50. Very boring day today. I read through a dictionary (believe it or not) to sort out some Greek & Latin roots & looked at the Australian vocabulary. [Reading a dictionary? Now that is TRUE Boredom. I actually remembering doing that though. And had full intentions of continuing.] Also did some doodling of hairstyles. Am thinking of getting my hair layered & permed & setting it like Lucy’s. Dunno, but. Went to the Drive In. Saw Police Academy 2 & ‘Doin’ Time’. A Life in WordsAlright. Bit funny. Ate a fair bit, too. Umah! Did a little housework today. (believe it or not) Also Beka came around & got her bike (‘cos I called her) Also gave her her present. Now have only 2 more to get rid of. Was strangely tired today – ultimately lethargic. Maybe I need more sleep, or exercise or something. [Bingo to the exercise guess.]

Sunday 22/12/85

Got up late – I actually slept in! (Till only 8:30, though.) I just read the Dolly (January’s) and the morning flew by!! In the arvy I drew a bit, watched the movie (on TV) Mary, Queen of Scots – which I enjoyed immensely!! I love historical movies! Justine rang – we talked for yonks!! Got ready & went to dad’s for Xmas tea. Filling!! I got $1.20 worth of coins in my plum pudding!! Then I got 25c extra from other people who didn’t want theirs For my prezzies from Anthony, dad & Jenny, see the last page of “Notes” (where all others will be listed, too) [My ‘recording obsession’ meant that I had to log all the gifts I received, and not wanting to waste valuable daily diary space, I usually found another area in the diary, in which I could compile the all-important information. This extended to ordinary days when I felt I had more to say but couldn’t fit it in on the actual diary page. So there may be an extra blogpost, or an extra long blogpost, when I reach the year’s end…] Really wanna start’n’shape up my figure – wanna exercise & slim right down. Is a bit hot. Late night again. Going to J’s (Justine’s) tomorrow for swim → GREAT!! Is about 10:45. Am tired

Nasality, Quadraplegia & Hiding from Cars (9-15 December)

Monday 9/12/85

Earned a further $25 today. Still want more. [Aha, first hint of an earning addiction. Working to earn, to accrue – whether to spend or save – can become a compulsion. While the discipline is admirable, on the whole it’s not great for your mental/emotional health.] Have to work to earn money for Wednesday, too; Beka, Justine, Lucy, me & Sharon D are gonna go to the movies & mum said I have to use my own money, so.. IS BOILING HOT!! Guess what we’re gonna see?!!! For my 3RD TIME – Back to the Future!! OMIGOD I don’t believe this heat! Mum bought some more new Xmas decorations. Adam G & Steven S rode by. (See, Friday arvy, when Beek & I were getting ready for the party, Adam talked to us – Beka reckons he was chatting us up. Anyway I think she might be right cos’ he & Steven were ‘hanging’ round this arvy.) Anyway, am having a (pretty) early night for once (is 9:45 now) So goodnight!!!

Tuesday 10/12/85

A Life in Words
One of the most iconic Australian women’s clothing brands of the 80s

I am afraid – afraid to speak, that is. Everyone at work tells me how nasally I am getting. [Unfortunately little has changed, although I am surprised how few people have mentioned it in these later years of my life. “You have a distinctive voice” was the most recent – and very tactful – description of my voice.] I really want to have my adneoids out. I feel it would help a lot in preventing my allergies (getting totally rid of them) & much of my mucus problem, blood noses & of course (& most importantly) my nasality (& sinus). [Dr Elissa] Today I went to work again (for the money, and the sake). Earned $24. My total is now $132. Went to Kmart this arvy – forgot to take my money. DUMB, huh?!! (No comments, please!) New part looks good – there’s Cherry Lane & some other jewellery shops & ‘sunnies’ shops. Dear me, thinking about it, I think I do go to work not only for the money, but for something to do during the day. (Mum’s usually not home…) [My sister was in Grade 8 and they didn’t finish up for the year until a fortnight after us Year 10’s. And with Mum needing to work obviously I would have been very much alone at home. Everyone needs ‘Purpose’.] Dad’s running out of cash. I’m not allowed in there for some time. Oh dear!!.. Movies (again) tomorrow

Wednesday 11/12/85

Was ready to go to town early, so went to Lucy’s. A Life in WordsGot mum a purse & dad’s running shorts. The movie was good (I’ve seen it 3 times, now) Beka loved it and the supporting film. Warren D & Wayne C saw us at interval. Came & sat near – BLECH! Caught 4:00 Bus to Lucy’s (Sharon D went home) Played board games (Anna & Colleen dropped in.) Beka & I are staying the night. Mucked around – went for a walk around the streets & I (of course, with my Luck it was me) got ‘sprung’. See, we played that we hid from cars when they came. I hid behind a car & Luc & Beek jumped into a bush. Stupid guy fairly blew me up. Fuckwit. Latenite. Read books

Thursday 12/12/85

Woke what musta been quite late, cos Beka got in BIG trouble with her mum. Apparently Mrs H came around to pick her up from work; knocked on the door & no one answered, so she went home & rang up later. For me & Luc, it was a very lazy day. We just read books. Ate very little untilA Life in Words [at this ‘juncture’ a long arrow wound through and around my text, pointing finally to the ‘Cake Day’ sticker, next to which I wrote “Well, I mean I ate a LOT of cake, today!!”] (I got home) Watched a bit of TV & I went home at 5:00 Nana was here. Anyway, is almost 11:30, now. I finished my book about 20 mins ago. Gotta give it back to Lucy before she goes (she’s going on Monday) AM SOOO TIRED. I also have an ‘infected’ eye. Is all puffed up and sore. Mum thinks it’s a bite…

Friday 13/12/85

Lazed round this morning till 11:45 when got ready & went to the Dr.’s! At the clinic I saw J. C-S’s health card & I thought she must have been in there, but up pulled an ambulance & Jodie was in it. Julia said she was on the mini-trampoline in PES – she has a suspected fractured neck. There goes her sporty achievements. He (the dr) didn’t move her out of the vehicle for if he had examined her, & touched/moved the wrong things she could become quadriplegic. My swollen eye was just another side effect of my allergies. Dr H said I must continually use my Beconase – not just for the allergy attacks. It’s like “taking the pill once you’re pregnant.” So I’m on a trial run for 3 weeks. If there is no improvement in my sinus, nasality, allergies or mucus congestion then he will refer me to an Ear, Nose & Throat specialistic who might consider removing my adenoids. The Bluelight was boring in action – but the people were “good”. John Cl- & John Co-, & SEAN! He’s still a spunk. Also, after (on the way home) had to squish in Justine’s car with Jason P, Mark, Martin P & another guy. Funnily enough – I felt nothing towards Mark as I had for Sean. ←I was sure he likes me. STILL A SPUNK.

Saturday 14/12/85

I’m boiling.Today I concentrated on (& got) mima’s letter written. Was quite boring….About Green Is, tomorrow, dunno much. I’m taking Beka & Justine in. Dunno anything else. Will have to ring Justine in the morning. Jeezus – IS HOT. Watching Countdown this arvy (& Wham!’s new unreeeal clip) Andrew Ridgeley (with his new short crop cut) reminded me so much of Sean…. I think I’ve taken a liking to him again…… Watched the movie – is now11:00. Nite! A Life in Words

Sunday 15/12/85

PHEWEE!! I’m burnt again! Except a bit more – I didn’t wear a shirt cos’ the only other person to come besides Justine, me, Lucy & Beek, was S. Poor Shane! on his own – but I don’t think he minded that much. Boy is it hot! We got there 11:30. We swam sunbaked for about 1/3hr then got lunch at about 1:30-2:00 Spent the rest of the arvy (till 3:45) in the water. Bet I’ll peel again, too. Went back to Justine’s (instead of home) to have a swim. Lucy & I walked home around 6:45, Got home around 7:10 – dusk. Big dinner (the Bests were here) I am HOT!! & very tired – “exhausted” Pity no one else came. OH well!! Late nite.

Slaving for Christmas & Party Fever (2-8 December)

Monday 2/12/85

A Life in Words
@ Justine’s party

Only Astia, Lucy & I went to the movies, but Shane, Wade, Ian & Karl came late. I just caught the 2:00 bus home (missed out on about 5 mins of Back to the Future ending) & Crabbe was on it. Got off at Stratty to go to Justine’s! Appointment with Mr McKenzie at CHS was alright – dragged on cos’ we were admitted late & he talked & talked & talked & talked….. Got to the party at about 4:35. Was alright. I like Crabbe, too!! He says nice things about me. [I recall him calling me something like a little Dutch girl because of my complexion: looking Scandinavian is complimentary in my books. I also remember him telling me that orange suited me, when I happened to be wearing an outfit of said colour.]  Mima & Ben (especially Ben) looked bored. But they ‘supposedly’ hit it off during the video ‘Revenge of the Nerds. I’m still not 100% sure he’s as flipped over her & she is over him but maybe That’s his way of showing it! Crabbe is nice Richard’s alright but no interest in me. won’t even answer a comment I might make. Actually, am a bit jealous of mima. Dunno why. GOTTA have more parties. [And the (social) butterfly begins to emerge from its cocoon…it is a very very slow unfurling however, thanks to a lack of confidence…that has spanned decades.]

Tuesday 3/12/85

IT IS HOT SOOOO BOILING. HOT. [This little rant here looked so impressive in my original diary that I had to take a photo so you could witness the temper. Hilarious!] A Life in WordsWasted day. Went into work.- did NOTHING. Couldn’t get motivated- didn’t feel like it. Just sat around listening to the radio. Came home around 3:00 Ate heaps today (am ashamed) Art course meeting was short only about 1hr. Many people weren’t there e.g.: Neville ←he’s the only boy in the course, too! Skinted!! Still, he’ll probably enjoy it. Elisia’s in. I met 2 other girls from TAS, too – both of whom I recognise. Early night tonight. Am going to work tomorrow. Need $40 $20 for mum & dad (payback) & $20 foundation for Xmas prezzy supplies. Typed a letter to mim (formal!) asking her help in holding a party at Waterworks. I’ll let her set the date & guests, cos’ I made it a party for her & Ben. Hope she does. I love parties. IS HOT. Will post it tomorrow. [Obvious example of ulterior motive here. Too shy/lacking in confidence to go out & get what I want for myself (a party), I created a reason to attract someone to ‘help’ me because it will appear to benefit her. Inadvertant reverse psychology?] 

Wednesday 4/12/85

Not too hot today. Mostly overcast. Worked well. Got 125 drums cleaned ($31.25) in 9:00-1:15 After lunch, did (1:45-5:30) 3hrs 45 mins labelling (easy stuff – done in the office – the air conditioning used the electric typewriter & made up all these labels for shampoo [I’m thinking that’s carpet shampoo. Can’t recall dad producing beauty products]. Also did other odd jobs. So total was $46.25, but I have to give dad $10 (I owe him that much) + $10 to mum (I owe her too). [Haha, cute. I – like most children in the world – owe my parents far more than a measly $10] Tomorrow, have to earn at least $45. Hope there’s enough work. I also want to work on Saturday. I hope there’s enough work!! Riding to Smithy on Friday. Hope Fi & mim haven’t forgotten I’m coming too. Sent that party letter to mim this morning. Early nite

Thursday 5/12/85

HOT! HOT! HOT! I hate tit!! [Yes, I had actually written ‘tit’. That is not a typo.] I earned $31.75 today. I have only $32 left to earn on Saturday now, before I get a round $100. Came home a few hours earlier today. GREAT NEWS!! There’s a party at Erica’s on Friday night! 7-12. See, mum’s going out & we’re supposed to stay at dad’s. Beka also wanted a lift so, at 1:30 we’ll ride to school, get our certificates, ride back & Beka’ll stay at my place the arvy (getting ready) & dad can take us to the party & drop Beek off after it. Also, mum said she found some pretty good clothes at that 2nd clothing shop, so I might get some rags ‘n’ fix ’em up for a party outfit!! [By ‘rags’ I mean decent pieces of clothing I could cut up and re-fashion, without sewing of course. Raw edges were in for awhile in the 80’s….lucky, lazy me.] Can’t wait. ‘S unreal. Pretty early nite. (Gonna need it)

Friday 6/12/85

Walked round abit with mum. (She had places to go.) She bought 2 dresses from a 2nd Hand shop (I couldn’t find anything worth cutting up) so whipped across and bought a yellow ‘n’ white striped shirt from Rockman’s. Is very bright. That letter I was typing to Fi, ended in a rush, just before Dad took Beka & me to the party. Prior to that, Beka, Lucy, Justine, me & Sharon rode to school & got our JUNIOR CERTIFICATES. Am happy with it …. is pretty good. I coulda done betta if I’d tried harder over the years. Took our bikes back on the bus (too tired to ride home) The party was…. ‘good’. It wasn’t as good as Lucy’s & our ‘form’ one. Remember David L? He was there and I think he likes me. Kept looking & following me (discreetly) around. Richard & Ben were there, too. Mim came late. At Dad’s now. Am tired. Forgot my plate! [This refers to my orthodontic plate, which I am assuming by this time I am only wearing at night, because I certainly was not still wearing it during daylight hours when I started at Cairns High…]

Saturday 7/12/85

A Life in Words
This is all that remains of the Mickey watch. I’d love to find a watchmaker who could make use of it again for me.

Got my periods, finally!! And also my very first period pains. Jeezus are they BAD. Agony!! Fi got her letter last nite. I wonder wot she thought of it. At work, earned $15. Not much, but I was cranky & lazy with those pains. Julia & Jenny did some cleaning out & found some old stuff. Jules picked up a pr. of floral, flanell PJ’s & I got Anthony’s old Mickey Mouse watch! Is good (ticks loud enough!) Left my (bloody) knickers, white singlet & beach towel at  dad’s. Oh well. Watched the movie. Am bugared now. Have a breakout along my hairline, on my forehead. Yukky!! Feels funny – the atmosphere. Doesn’t feel “Homely”.

Sunday 8/12/85A Life in Words

Am tired. Have decided to grow my hair shoulder-length, as long-hair is back in fashion. [Judging by the photo above – at Justine’s party – it’s pretty clear to me that shoulder length hair would not take very long to grow at all.]  I wish I could grow it really long & get it permed; but it wouldn’t stay in. [Ah the bloody 80’s obsession with perms!] Today we put up Chrissy decorations (& the tree) Wanted to make some, but ended up not. Got December Dolly & after doing some “word-find” puzzles, read it til Countdown (& watched the movie, too.) That’s why I’m tired: went in to Dunphy’s newsagency to buy more decorations. Mrs D didn’t seem too happy. No good ’86 diaries in their shop. That’s what I need one of them/these. [“Them/these” being a very small – say A8 sized – day to a page Collins diary.A Life in Words While I often spilled over onto successive days’ pages, I have learnt over the years that a bigger diary means more writing, means more time, means less enthusiasm for the act of journaling. I still find it hard to obtain diaries that suit my needs. I’ve just bought one online for the first time ever because I simply couldn’t find anything suitable in the shops. Sorry Retail Industry, but you’re making it hard for me to support you.] Gonna work tomorrow. Earn, at least, $27. Should be easy enough. Then I can buy prezzies

Bye Bye Smithfield High (25 November-1 December)

Monday 25/11/85image

Ugh! Maths wasn’t too bad, but I think it’ll be a miracle if I get over 60/70. Damn! It’s more likely I’ll get over 50 – well, what’s wrong with a high achievement?? [High Achievement is not enough for a high achiever, read perfectionist!] But history…. I dunno about that ‘un at all!! A pass, but not a good one, I don’t think. Strelitzias were given out today and in last session, everybody was signing everybodies. I don’t have the magazine, but Ms Hornibrook said if I brought my $5 in early tomorrow I could get one. Cor, it’s hot! Got a parcel from CHS. Got subject selection form, subject guide booklet CHS prospectus & letter. There’s a meeting on the 3rd of December for us [CAD art] kids. I’m definitely gonna go now cos Astia is. Oh, so sad: I don’t want this week to go fast [Last week of school/Year 10 = last week at Smithfield State High School]

Tuesday 26/11/85

I got the very last Strelitza today. Lucky, huh??!! AM BOILING!! MY EXAMS ARE OVER!! FINISHED!! Art was quite simple, BP was a bit harder. I would have passed in both I’m sure. Had to do the piccy for the girl’s uniform for Smithy 1986 Prospectus. Front & back view. Thrilling, huh?? [Well yes, Liss, give yourself some credit.] I will see it, though, cos Julia’ll get one. Lucy came round this arvy. We went to the park & talked. This boy (saints uniform) walked across & to the brick house behind. He must have been watching us, with, gasp, Neville cos’ when Luc & I rode up & round the street, I saw them sitting on the stone wall. We went to the school. Coming home, they WHISTLED SHAME!! Anyway, am boiling hot. And watching ANZACS (only one up) Will finish soon. Am worn out!! HOT

Wednesday 27/11/85

A Life in Words
inside the front cover of my Strelitzia

Watched last part of ANZACS. It was so sad. I don’t think I have ever cried as much as I did in that. [I still tear up quite readily if I think about or witness cruelty or others’ sadness. In fact, I have come to learn that sadness belies pretty much all of my negative moods; it’s pretty much my personal ‘root evil’.] Julia laughed at me, so I tried to laugh instead – but it [my choked laugh, I assume] ended up sounding like a sick dog!!! Today – er – 17/30 for my 3 englishes. 6½, 7 & 3½→ fail!! OH WELL!! 74/100 for Science. OH WELL!! and (YAY!!) 14/15, 8/10 + 11½/15 for German! Also 34½/50 for history – 22 for one assignment, 20½ for the other!!! Still need more people to sign my Strelitzia. Want Tim to, but he won’t: doesn’t know me well enough. OH WELL! Y’know The Saints guy from yesterday – well he walked across park again. But passing our house, he looked in. I looked out & he saw me & smiled. Got a cute smile. Also this morning, some YR9 girls at the busstop were throwing around things off this tree & got me! I said “do you mind?” & Ms Rebecca P mocked me. HOW CHILDISH

A Life in Words
inside the back cover of my Strelitzia

Thursday 28/11/85

Am soo tired. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Gonna be unreeeeal!! Green Is, then Lucy’s party! Can’t wait!! Art 58½/60. (Good fluke) & 53½/70 for maths. Am so relieved. Little happy but mostly relieved cos I got over 50. I wanted to Get between 58-65 but that was an impossible dream. Wore wrong shirt today wasn’t sprung luckily. Wagged bits of lessons. Pretty boring. Ben P actually spoke to me in BP (were (Fiona U, Ian, him & me) all talking about maths) He said “I got 29, Lissa” for mid semester test out of 30. [I considered him one of the popular guys] Coulda got him to sign my Strelitzia but chickened out. Y’know that Saints guy? He smokes→ saw him walking home again this arvy with a fag. Pity he’s quite a good looker. Sat on the stone wall again, I think to watch me cos when I looked after mum had shut the door & pulled down the blind, he was gone. Is 10:45. Am bugared.

Friday 29/11/85

170 people from Smithfield came when we’d only booked for 130. So Mr Van volunteered 10J & a few 10H’s to stay back in town & catch the fast boat at 10:30. We walked around town – Kim, Fran, Astia, Sharon D, Fi & me. Tried to buy Westcoast. [The most popular wine cooler on the market back then] Unsuccessful. Astia’s boyfriend Jamie (over 18) got us some Island Cooler. Yukky & more alcohol compared to Westcoast.. Baked on the boat. Was fun at Green Is. Swam, walked around & jumped (were pushed) off wharf!! Didn’t need to sun bake. Got red. not too burnt, but sore enough!! Didn’t see Tim at all till he left. Oh well. Got back off the fast boat (late one) about 5:15; rushed in town & caught bus home. Ready for Lucy’s; dressed & showered. Didn’t pack much for overnite. Party was [at this point I had to turn the page to continue the story…]A Life in Words

Saturday 30/11/85

unreeal, had over 15 cups of rum & wine punch + 3 or 4 cups of coke (2 of which had whiskey added) Mrs W. & Rod didn’t go out. Ben P & Richard came – I thought they, besides Harry & Jemima, were the life of the party. Wasn’t drunk – just relaxed. There was Ian, Wade, Skinner, Harry, his friend, Ben, Richard, Jay & Wayne & Sharon W, me, Lucy, Fi, Mim, Danäe, Colleen, Anna, Sally, Justine, Deyarne & Michelle H & Jay’s girlfriend Rebecca. I like Richard. Ben is nice but Jemima’s absolutely flipped over him. Sally thinks Richard likes Justine. Hope not. He hates me anyway & I can feel it. [You know what they say: the attributes & attitudes you find attractive & unattractive in others is actually a reflection of yourself? Well that there comment screams of Self Hate.] Got about 5 hrs sleep. Mucked around today at Lucy’s (Danäe went home early) Luc, Beka & Me lazed about until 4:30-5:00 Mum took us home. Slept a bit at home, felt little sick right now. Just VERY tired. Mim’s head over heels with Ben. He likes her, but not as much, mutually. Ian & Wade & Shane were bored I think. Wayne, Sharon, Deyarne & Michelle left early thank god. [Ah, what? Why thanks god I wonder? I don’t recall being averse to any of these people. Maybe too many popular people for me and I felt uncomfortable?] Gotta have more like that. I think even Harry enjoyed it. He was pisst!! Everyone came late around 9:00.

Sunday 1/12/85

Boy, have I had one social life; In the past 3 days + tomorrow!! Woke late this morning & did Xmas cards all day. Have so many! Went to Dianne & Kerry’s. Stayed for tea & watched video “Gremlins” UNREEAL. On the way there, saw Ben & Richard!! Almost flipped!! I dunno if they actually saw me but they watched the car all the way past!! Julia thinks Richard’s nice looking too! me; well, not so much looks, but; I dunno what attracts me!! Anyway, when I rang Fran (at Di & Kerry’s) she’d said they’d been to Erica’s. She’d (Fran) been at mim’s all day cos’ her mum had lunch with Mrs B) so she knew the story between Mim & Ben. She is going to Justine’s party now & Ben & Richard are supposed to, too. I’m worried that, if mima & Ben do hit it off, that Fi will get Richard. NO!! Anyway for the moment I don’t think Ben’s as flipped over mim as she is over him. But never can tell…!!! Is 10:15 now. Busy day tomorrow.

New White Sandshoes & Exams, Oh Exams (18-24 November)

Monday 18/11/85

My throat isn’t too bad, now Just a lot of snot (not a runny nose – just full of snot. [That would be…solid opaque chunks I gather? As opposed to clear liquid? Nothing like a little detail!] Tania P. helped me understand how to do my Novel assignment so I have done ¾ of that tonight, as well as highlighting important points for my Shakespeare & Poetry Exams. Also started revising Astronomy in Science. Although is 10:30, feel as if I have achieved something tonight. Slept badly last nite. Woke at 3:30 this morning. Could not get to sleep again, once cos’ of my throat, so got up & started writing out history essay. Got some sandshoes this arvy, too. Gonna wear them to skool every day left this year. Also – is confirmed definitely yr10’s going to Green Island (so are CHS, & the St’s schools) was BROILING today [in?] general assembly.A Life in Words

Tuesday 19/11/85

It is now – oh – haven’t got my watch on. Anyway’s about 11:15. Can’t do my english (Shakespeare) won’t pass it. Definite fail. Have only done 1½ pages & it’s mostly plagarized Who cares?? (me, of course) Had german listening test – fail for certain, I’m sure! My new white sandshoes are very bright. Everyone (well, only Harry & Lucy) tried to dull them by standing on them. SHIITS!! Am no too tired will be in the morning tho. I hafta get up early. Study BP. Finish writing out History & English assign. (they’re due), then learn my crappy Shakespeare SHIT

Wednesday 20/11/85

10:30 now. Not as bad as last nite. Got my 2 History’s & 1 english handed in. I think I failed my BP exam. I didn’t look once (oh, well once) at my book. But english Shakespeare on the other hand I was pleased with. Although I hadn’t learnt it off by heart, I remembered almost everything & it even took 2 pages instead of the 1¼ I had done last night & I even left some things out & was only writing medium size HOPE I get a good mark after all that!! Worried about other english exams now. + science + german. Got 17/20 for my B.P assignment (½) only for presentation. Studied science tonite. Hope I do well in that, no in EVERYTHING!!

Thursday 21/11/85

A Life in Words
Aussie poet Judith Wright

Now 10:34. I am bugared. Got animal farm started this arvy cos’ did my Judith Wright in spare periods today (when I should have done German) but I think I’lll at least pass it – it was that hard. Reading part (worth more) was easiest. So in animal farm am gonna wake early to finish writing it out. Then must learn it a little & Judith Wright. then finish learning science. I feel I know all the content questions I just must keep a level head. Nana & Ruth coming around a lot lately. Anyway – going to ‘Verandah’s’ Restaurant for tea tomorrow night. [Verandah’s Restaurant was one of the top local restaurants back in the day. Although this visit was with my mum and her boyfriend, my dad had a business relationship with the owner so we often went there with him & my stepmother for the ‘special occasions’ like birthdays] I am tired. Think I will go to CHS – I must do something Different. Too dependant on this school.

Friday 22/11/85

Have not yet got my periods. that means Ill have ’em at Green Island. POOP! (unless I skip 1 or they come very late – cos’ they already are now.) [My handwriting becomes huge and messier from this point in this day’s entry. It doesn’t seem to relate to excessive emotion, at first…] Science – oh well – I’ll pass it. I suppose and english poetry I mucked up, but Animal Farm was good. Got 21 [here I cannot decipher what the hell I scrawled] 22 for my foreign policy History assignment Mr Van said. UNREAL!! Went to “Verandah’s” Restaurant for dinner: Felt sick. Did a shit & lots of farts. [hmm, pleasant.] Ate a lot especially, throughout the day. Am BOILED. Am shitty cos’ hafta stay at dad’s on weekend. Complained to mum & now Geoff’s shitty with me. Dickhead. am tired is 11:05

Saturday 23/11/85

Mum left for Yungaburra at about 2:30. I spend the day, not really studying much, but mucking about. I did do some study – but I have quite a bit more to do yet. Looks like I won’t get history done much, if, at all! Dad came at 5:30, spent the time watching TV, wanted an early nite but late dinner [my stepmother & father have always eaten late. Their standard mealtime is anywhere between 8 and 930pm] & shower & had to wash & dry up – Anthony washed so got to bed late. Hold on, my watch is in the kitchen…[assuming I went to get it]..is 11:02. So I must sleep in, at least a bit. Must study hard in maths & a little for history. Is hot. Have the fan on full bore!! In Jacki’s room. She moved out a while ago. Room is different now.

Sunday 24/11/85A Life in Words

Ended up not coming home until 4:00 or after (about 5:30) Did waste of time History today. Wasted the whole day. I am a little worried about History – but am having a major heart-attack about Maths. Will get up at 5:30 tomorrow & study like hell. Hope I do well…. I MUST do well. This is my last week at Smithfield. How sad. But I mustn’t become home-sick for it. I will make more friends at Cairns High. Haven’t got my periods yet. Hope I don’t get them Before Friday or goodbye Green Island!!! I don’t think I will (I’m hoping.) is HOT Heat is terrible. Am bugared.