Shoes, Gloves, Suits & My Beach Bonfire Birthday (6 -12 July)

Monday 6/7/87A Life in Words

Had to answer the phone this morning – mum was in the shower yelling to Julia & I – of course I got up to answer it. Made me angry – only 8 or so hours sleep. [A lot of people would kill for that much sleep in one night…] Could’ve gotten 9 or 10 like last night. Oh well. Went to town (all around Cairns as a matter of fact) with mum today ..saw Mrs E about my dress, then spent the next 3 hours running around getting fabric for it. At home this arvy, I read my Dolly mag, watched TV (generally: “bludged”) Mark rang about 5 or 6 times consecutively (quickly) – they were at Keith’s, testing out the new phone. Anyway he rang me around 7:30 tonight (I think) Talked not long- said he’d ring me tomorrow (getting his license Wednesday – said he’d also visit me then) I think it’s working better this way – the less worried I am, the less I think about him, the more relaxed I am [in general, the less you worry, the more relaxed you will be. Just sayin’]_ _ he was right. [When did he say that?] Now he’s doing some of the “chasing” instead. It’s 10:40. Watched the new mini-series (everyone else was in bed) Is so cool now – BEAUTIFUL weather (tho’ it’s overcast – pity)

Tuesday 7/7/87

Woke around 8:00 – another 8½-9hrs sleep, I think. Good! Got ready & went to Kmart to get socks for dad, then gave him his prezzies (told me he’s going to pay for all my formal expenses: isn’t that great?!!) [There’s gratitude right there] A Life in WordsThen, on to other places, before getting home (to a phonecall from Mark – just a quick one to say that he’d received ’87 RIGHT ON TRACK [pretty much my favourite of all the compilation albums I owned] from his uncle, so he didn’t need it to be taped anymore. [Music Piracy in the ’80’s involved copying onto blank cassette tapes, either someone else’s albums or directly recording from the radio (average sound quality). As I’ve mentioned previously, we were lucky enough to somehow receive ABC TV audio on the FM bandwidth (all of our local radio stations were only on AM) so our illegal recordings sounded better than everyone else’s!] And that was it – so I’ll ring him tomorrow morning to wish him luck for his test & if not (if he doesn’t visit me) I’ll ring around 6:00 to see if he passed & if he’d take me to the Drive In – Little Shop of Horrors is on & I’d love to see it -so funny!) Bludged the afternoon doing scrapbook in front of the TV then bathed & Mike & Cynthia & Kylie (their niece, so my 3rd cousin or something like that) came for dinner. BORING! No, not really. Was a pretty goodnight. But I’m tired now. It’s 10:30. Get some (lots of) shut-eye.

Wednesday 8/7/87

BORING!! Terrible day – one of the most terrible days I’ve had for ages (compared to my other holidays). Actually, I’m exaggerating a bit. [At least I admit it…] It’s really been like most of the other days this week .. spent morning in town (in and around town) grocery shopping, looking at shoes etc. Ate a lot today. A Life in WordsAnyway, home around 1:00, I watched TV & fiddled around with dresses & material. Have started making a skirt .. don’t have enough fabric to finish it now!! Oh dear! I rang Mark’s place around 4:30 – he didn’t come over (then rang him at Keith’s) He passed his driving test, of course. Seemed very bored (or maybe I’m imagining it) I haven’t seen him for 3 days & tomorrow, I’ll bet will be the 4th. [Oh so maybe this is why you felt your day was “one of the most terrible you’ve had for ages”?] SHIT. I want to see him very soon. [Wanting causes Pain…] That call this arvy was very short – I thought he was going to come around after it, but no – of course not. Why do I bother?? [You’re asking the question; it’s your choice to make…] Gordon rang tonight to see if I’d go late nite with him, Justine & Jason – to look for their suits. (I can’t – my B’day). [Ah, he must’ve meant in town: what I usually labelled ‘late night’ was the Thursday late night trading at suburban shopping centres but the CBD had extended trading hours on Fridays. I think it’s still the same…] Then I rang Fi tonite. Hopefully we’ll go to town 2morrow (with my luck Mark’ll come round while I’m not home.) Justine also rang me later 2nite. V. rainy & cool & windy. Beautiful! (But “stop!” rain, for my B’day & the show!) Is 11:00.

Thursday 9/7/87

A Life in WordsWent shopping – in town – looking for my formal shoes – and I got them (!!) Black patent leather – pointed toe and the heel’s about 5cm ($60) and Gloves. I have a choice – fingerless net gloves to about before the elbow, or white, full finger gloves, past my elbow (I’d have to dye them) I don’t know what I’m going to get!! [*facepalm* the 80’s was an embarrassing era for fashion. Gloves… seriously? Thanks a lot, Michael and Madonna!] Anyway after visiting Nana I got home & Keith & Mark came! (see last night at 11:40 they came & I “snuck” out – we drove around and mum found out, cause I couldn’t get in the house when I got home) [Oh that is hilarious. Why am I not surprised?] So, we went to Trinity Beach (Sandle, [no, not a typo – ‘Sandle’ was her nickname] Fi & Brent ate their lunch their, too) Played T.P. at home – Keith & Mark cheated! They left around 3:00. wasted the afternoon, Before getting ready for the Drive In. We went despite the weather – It didn’t rain too much. Back at Keith’s new place [privacy omission] we decided to get some videos .. a porno. one (type thing) [uh, really? I don’t remember that at all! What an awkward situation with my boyfriend’s mate there too?] and a horror or suspense. It was O.K. [LOL, OK? Obviously porn doesn’t do it for me?!] Then Keith went to→

Friday 10/7/87

bed and Mark & I mucked around on the divan .. kissing etc. [Nope! Still not what you think…] About 4:00 [privacy omission] then bombed. I woke around 10:00. The weather was… not too good – quite overcast, but there was some sun & blue sky. Mark gave me his present – a sterling silver fob chain (its beautiful) after breakfast, went to Mark’s, then my place (Mike, Cynthia, Kylie & Dougie were there) I got $10 Julia, $45 from them (lots, huh!) A Life in WordsMum $20 so far + doona & tri-pillow cover. [Oh, the tri-pillow! A furnishing trend of the late 80’s, early 90’s… I think they were designed to support your back whilst sitting up in bed. Did anyone else have one?] We went to the beach – trinity was very clouded & windy. Up at Wangetti, it was quite beautiful still overcast in patches, but mostly sunny. Back at my place, the guys left around 3:30. We had nothing planned. After lots of phone calls (to Fi’s & Keith’s) we decided on a bonfire at the beach. Dad came tonight & gave me $50 + 2 charms from my c. bracelet. […which I still have to this day…] Mark & Keith came at 7:15 ..Sat until about 7:40. Fi & Sandle fussed around taking heaps of things, then we picked up Brent. At Trinity there was no beach! (the tide was too high) So we went to Ellis. And there we stayed. Getting fire “stuff”, sitting, lying, running, chasing (& falling – so funny!)→

Saturday 11/7/87

Marshmallow fights! Mark & I were lying kissing [privacy omission] up the beach”. [Privacy omission] I wanted to do it, so much, but knew if I did I’d worry myself sick about getting pregnant. I’ll have to get something. We talked a little – the pill’s about the best, I guess. Anyway, we left when Mark & I got back. Got home about 1:45. I was rather tired. (Mark said he’d ring me – hope he doesn’t forget) Woke around 8:00 – slept till 8:30. Got ready for town. Sat for ages – Justine rang wondering if I knew where Gordon was – but he came as she was on the phone. A Life in WordsSo we were out 2 hours. [Suit hunting for the boys, for the Smithfield High formal I was to attend with Gordon] Boring! At home, I wasted the arvy – till Mark & Keith popped in. We sat doing nothing (mum invited them to stay for dinner) Mark & I were joking around alot. And at the end, he really started to hurt me but I don’t think he knew it- thought I was pretending to be sooky still, but I really was getting upset. I think he left angry. Oh, not really angry. I don’t know, but I’m sure as hell a bit upset now. They’re going to take me to the beach tomorrow. Wonder if they still will? Oh, I really must mention this. I love him so much it hurts me. [That doesn’t sound wonderful …nor ‘healthy’…] 9:44 now, but I’m gonna watch the movie

Sunday 12/7/87

Well, it’s weird. I don’t know. I woke & got up around 10:30. They came around 12:30 (I was beginning to think they’d gone to baseball, after all) But, the brakes on the car were stuffed. So, mum drove us to Trinity Beach. We were getting on O.K. Not spectacularly affectionately. He & Keith went for a walk (long time!) Then, soon after their return, we hired out a catamaran… Mark & Keith had a go first, then Keith & I had it & it was fun -(we got caught in the shark net to start with…!!) A Life in WordsWe weren’t off it long before we decided to go. At home, the joking continued until finally it ended in the “I’m never going to talk to you again” routine [clearly predictable by now or I wouldn’t’ve referred to it as a ‘routine’] which I hate so much – it hurts so much. I sat out the back. When Mark came out, I could tell he was still joking but my sooky-ness (seriously – I was upset) got to him, I’m sure. I don’t know if he’s angry with me or not. I didn’t ring I think that’d be too pushy cos if he isn’t really angry he would get that way. [Well that’s wise. But the ‘distance’ – giving yourself space – is more on point…] I spent a lot of time talking to Fi on the phone about it. I really have to make my own decisions more. I partly did that tonite, for once. Hope everything’s OK at school tomorrow SCHOOL – I HATE IT.

Desk Dramas & Study Stress (26 May-1 June)

Monday 26/5/86

My room’s such mess→ my new desk is still outside!! All my junk’s on the floor. Didn’t finish english essay. Did a bit of maths & a fair bit of chemistry→ can’t understand it.. Anyway, this Wednesday will be a good one: don’t do recreation! We’re gonna go and watch the soccer guys (Mark!♥) play their final.A Life in Words Great! Ate alot this arvy. Fi has a stye (on her eye, y’know). Bus was so full this arvy. Didn’t get a seat! (Till this girl got off on Sheridan Street) so I didn’t stand for long. 9:36. Am tired. Dunno if we’re riding or not (raining today) Could keep up all night. Talk to Cameron a lot lately. Today on way to school bus, in Chem & Maths & off the bus. Julia’s birthday in 4 days. What’ll I get her?

Tuesday 27/5/86

Piss day. Am not talking to mum & Julia. They’re bitches. Got the new desk into my room and is Fucken too big. I told her & she got all worked up. Then [she] tried to fix around everything makin the biggest fuckin mess you’ve ever seen, then cos I got aggro (wouldn’t you? [hmmm]) she left it for me to clean up. Fuckin mole. And Julia pokin her nose in Bitch – dumb bitch. Now she’s got it. Fuckin shit. Fuckin Fits in her fuckin room. I’ve got a fuckin mess in my room, nowhere to put all my junk. Fuckin stupid bitches. HATE THEM. [The bold typeface represents how hard I’d written these words in my diary: scrawled in anger.] Looking at Mark this morning & he looked at me. Skint. Yum Yum 9:15 HATE HER [Wow, big tanty, huge rant! I recently read somewhere that if you’re kids don’t say they hate you at least once, it means you’re not a good parent. This rant shows just how fantastic my mum was ♥ …or my wicked temper…]

Wednesday 28/5/86

Pregnant. 6 weeks. To Geoff. She told me yesterday. [oooookaaaay. That wouldn’t’ve gone down well. I wasn’t keen on mum’s boyfriend and a half-sibling would’ve further cemented his presence in our lives.] Kept up my “not talking” right up until she left for National Trust meeting. She asked about the calculator. [?] Now I talk a little, but am not affectionate. Speech was funny. Jemima really can’t wait to do it with Brent! They love each other a lot tho’ so I think it’s right. Didn’t watch soccer today. Pity – didn’t get to see Mark. A Life in WordsWatched basketball instead. Dwain’s pretty kinda cute in his own way. Game was exciting. Did English assignment (really crappy) and started writing back to Lucy (got a letter from her today) Hafta finish soon. 11:00 now Still didn’t start study for Chem. That’s disgusting. Must

Thursday 29/5/86

Studying chemistry. I’ve done Ch 1, 2 & almost ½ of 3, so I’ve 4, 5 & 9 left and then I’ve gotta start doing practise questions or I’ll fail for sure. there’s so much I have to do and I’m just not going to get it done. Boy will I be glad when this one’s over!! Boring day. Really hard to tell whether Mark likes you or not. Some days you’ll think you’re in, others it looks like he’ll turn around and bite your head off. I don’t care, tho. I like him just the same! Finished my letter to Lucy at school→ worried someone would read it… did write more about Mark in it too. Also fi & mima said Hi. What’ll I do? I can’t fail chemistry. It’s so damned important to my TE score. [This refers to ‘Tertiary Entrance’ score; the rating used to determine the types of studies you would be eligible to apply for at universities. In the early 1990’s the ranking system was revised and the important ‘number’ became the ‘OP’, meaning ‘Overall Position’] Oh well.. 10:16. Am probably the only one awake in the house!

Friday 30/5/86

OH no. Oh yes! I’m sure I’ve failed. Piss. Was nowhere near finishing unit 3 revision (term 1) when mima rang. Mum came home just at the right time to give me a lift up there. I studied a little – Jemima and Fiona weren’t – they’d finished last night, so I couldn’t really concentrate. [Of course not!] Mrs D took us in at 11:30. Got a bit worked up when we got there, but actually in the exam, about 10 mins in, I relaxed a bit. When I think of it I think it was all right, but thinking more, I remember some of the troubles I had. Damn. Anyhow, that’s over with. Have 2 bio exams, art, maths and english to study for now. Oh dear! 11:00 – just moved desk back into my room, fixed up temporarily my stuff & threw out a lot of things (crap)

Saturday 31/5/86A Life in Words

Did no study at all today. Julia [it’s her birthday] got money, brekky in bed, a casket ticket, record, jewellery, voucher and other little things (including glass beads & safety pins → I got 4 no! 5 more friendship pins today!!) I tidied top all my drawers (my old school books & Dolly magazines & my drawers in my desk) And decorated Julia’s cake. And that was it. [Brilliant procrastination!] I could kick myself. I have to do Bio & Maths first tomorrow, then English & Art, then Bio & Maths again, if time allows & hopefully more art & english (doubt it) Cold weather – rainy, windy but I love it. Went out this morning too, to various places. Is 12:12 Went to Coles but didn’t see Mark→ did see the cute guy who helped me pick up the oranges, tho!! Am tired. ‘Moonraker‘ was just on TV James Bond 007

Sunday 1/6/86

I bludged today. But I got all my relevant biology notes done. I’m a little worried about english & more so for maths, but, I’ll wake early tomorrow and see what I can do. I’ll go home after biology exam & do english quotes & revision. Then write out my maths ‘theory’ and later in the night revise art. Before school I’ll read over my english notes, then at lunch I’ll read over art. [LOVE the planning. I still do this…but never manage to get it done as planned.] Should be right! (??I hope) Cheri M Petra & Amanda and Robyn B came around today [all my sister’s friends] (Petra & Cheri for the longest) Cheri’s nice – funny! Still really wet weather. little sun at all→ almost totally continuous rain today. 9:00 now. Am not gonna shave underarms or legs → gonna grow them, then get em waxed!