sleep – Page 3 – A Life in Words

Monday 13/10/86

Didn’t think Mark was coming – was surprised when I saw him (with Steven) walking to art. Went into town (Cominos arcade) period 3, little lunch, periods 4,5 and big lunch to paint windows. I did 2. Boring. I forgot to bring something to change into. Oh well – I had to wear a nightie to cover up!!! Ha Ha! Saw little of Mark. I don’t care. [Uh-huh] Angie’s party is a toga party..!!! Ragey! And its invitations too – only those invited can get in. Is 10:10 ..waiting for Clive James to come on. Am tired – but I want to watch it. Mr Grossetti didn’t crack about my english Just ‘showed a little concern.’ Hot today My work I am so behind in. I am not motivated – can’t get interested in school (I guess cos I’m lost – don’t understand anything that I’m doing) It’s on now. Dunno what else to say so Ni, Nite!!!

Tuesday 14/10/86

Mark came late again today but what do I care? Had to do painting again today – lunchtime, p6 & 7. Went late cos Donna & I had to hand in our biology pracs. (still don’t know what I got for that test.) Also have a chem test on Thurs. MUST study. Angie’s party’ll be unreal! Tops! Trying out toga outfits this arvy […despite the massive amount of schoolwork you keep mentioning you’re falling behind in…] Dunno what to wear. Am allowed to sleep over!! Hot today. Finished painting about 3:10 & rushed back to school (made it in about 10 mins! Ran a lot) Am tired. Got little sleep last night Did no HW again this arvy. [Yeah, you already mentioned you played toga-dress-ups instead] Slack, huh? I must try – esp. maths & chem – my biggest problems – maths even more so. Oh well. >SIGH< Is about 9:15. Early night, see if I can get a full night’s sleep. Wanna get a haircut before Angie’s party, too.

Wednesday 15/10/86

Is 9:50. Wanna get to sleep after a quick read over my chemistry text – gotta wake really early (eg: 5:30) to study. I should’ve (would’ve) done it this arvy but speech!! I was in the mood. [Ha! Always an excuse] I have maths + chem + bio + art + english HW. Chem + art + maths was necessary. Oh well. Will try at school tomorrow. My hopes are up that he likes me again. I’VE GOT TO DISBELIEVE. His fav. songs according to Fiona (“he told her”) are Venus (& coincidence(??)) and My Favourite Waste of Time (another coincidence (??)) [I’m not sure exactly why these are coincidences. Bananarama’s ‘Venus’ was my favourite song to dance to, and I think Owen Paul’s ‘My FavouriteWaste of Time’ held lyrical sentiment (click here if you don’t know, or can’t remember this song) – well, ya gotta admit, thinking about Mark did seem to take up a lot of my time? I think I was a bit more ‘superstitious’ then, than I am now. One coincidence for certain is that both of these songs were covers.] strange. Rode today (was hot) got an official invit. from angie today. Replied straight away. I can’t wait!! Must catch up in work. 6 sea shells due Mon. 3:15. CAN’T WAIT FOR ANGIE’S PARTY!!!! For some strange reason, I HOPE CAMERON’S GOING. He’s cutie; got his haircut – is really short. [Wtf? Where did this sudden interest come from?]

Thursday 16/10/86

My hopes are too high. I must think negative. Meanwhile I’m wondering if Cameron’s going. (if he was even invited) Hope he is – that’s someone to talk to. [Oh god girl, you are confused!] Can’t wait!!! Chemistry exam today – I think (I’m sure) I passed – that’s something to be thankful for. Actually did some HW – a little bio & art, too. But not much at all. Will have to work like buggary tomorrow arvy cos I won’t have any spare time on the weekend. Ha. My main concerns now are my work & (school work) & the party (my ‘love life’) [Most people would relate parties to ‘social life’ rather than ‘love life’. But I guess when you have no love life, parties are one of the places to start creating one – potentially]. Should be ACE! Really cannot wait. But now, its 10:10; I must get to sleep. Tomorrow is a free dress day. What have I to wear? What will I? Who knows. Periods were due yesterday. Hope I don’t get them for Angie’s Party. I’ll die if I do. [Haha, typical teen saying. I’m actually impressed I don’t say that more often.] Can not wait!! G’night!

A Life in Words — photocopied pic of Monique & I on the art excursion

Friday 17/10/86

Cannot wait!! (although Cameron isn’t going) Not long now! Today was boring, rather. Thought MW dropped Nicole yesterday – nope!! ELISSA WAKE UP. He doesn’t like you. Nothing will happen at this party. [continually self-lecturing] I felt a big dag today – wearing my pale (aqua) polo shirt & mum’s white shorts and my daggy school shoes. Everyone else had at least some bright colour on – and something ‘dressy’. During 4th, 5th, big lunch & 6th CAD went to the wharf to draw. Boring – I lost Sandie’s $2 to the sea; it flew over the jetty [back then $2 were still notes]. Getting on well with Angie and Trish & Michelle. Why do I get the feeling Mark likes me? Is he really looking at me or is it a coincidence that he glances in my direction the same time I do? It’s just like 1st semester again; I don’t know if he does or not – but I must think he doesn’t otherwise I’ll be hurt [self-preservation thought pattern development. Or simply, pessimism.]. Is 10:25.

Saturday 18/10/86

Went out in ‘am’. to see nana (& get ribbon for my home-made roman sandals) Monique (after 3 calls) & Sandie came round 12:30 I waxed my legs & it took yonks. Mima’s not going. Fi came round 2:00 & sharon was very late. We wore our togas on the train. At Kuranda (this train trip wasn’t really fun like last time) Trish, Leanne, Moni, Sandie, Fi, me & Sharon got grog & drank it before we went in. Trisha spewed Fiona & (a little bit) Leanne was off her face. In there, it was a little boring. I didn’t see Mark for ages. I’m sure he was with Angie – some say yes, others no. (what??) [←this “what?” means “so…. which is it?”] Keith & I talked alot. In fact, he followed me round all night. we talked in depth about cosmic things- (being typical emotional Pisces) universe, UFO’s & Ghosts & unknown, death & love… he wouldn’t when I asked him, tell me some things Mark used to say about me & I really nagged. He also told me only 3 of the guys out of the supposed 15 – himself, Mark & believe it or not, Steven!!!! [Back in May, one of the guys in my biology class told me he knew of “about 15” guys that liked me. If you want the full story, check out this post] [At this point, I omitted some potentially sensitive personal detail about another person.] Also that he thinks Mark does like me a lot, deep down. I said some things I shouldn’t have – some really silly private things. But I guess so did he. [continuing on to Sunday’s page…]

Sunday 19/10/86

Finally when Mark reappeared (after a sleep) I tried to stay within roughly same area as him. It was dull, but soon we were all on the trampoline. [That trampoline again. Where I “fell in love” the first time, months earlier. Click here if you’re interested in that ‘episode’.] We had apple juice fights – Mark squirted me for no reason & after fight reckons. I started it. We fought all night (Keith was trying to crack onto me – arms all over the place – soon I got out [‘out’ of what? his reach?] but …there ended up; me, Mark, Steven, Fi, Sharon & Quallus. Mark was picking on me… & steven too, but it wasn’t too bad we took ages & ages & ages to get into sleeping positions – would always be disrupted again But the main thing was Mark & me- we were the centre of attention – physical fights- slapping, thumping kicking, pinching. SHIT it was bad- does he like me? Hurts me enough. [I can’t believe this person was me. I mean, there’s no way I’d tolerate that kind of treatment now, let alone remain attracted to the guy.] Anyway, about (God I dunno) approx 3:30, 4:00 Got settled but rain made us all go elsewhere – about 5:30-6:00. I & Sharon couldn’t really sleep again. When everyone finally woke, I didn’t talk to mark at all really. He joked a second time & being tired I kinda snubbed him. Then I think he got angry or wasn’t talking to me. Even all on the train at 12:00 (Sharon & I didn’t have tickets – sneaked on!! – was the tourist train) Finally when we got off, he, Steve & Leanne hung out the windows. Mark said “ByeBye Lollipop Lady!” [I can’t remember whether this has come up previously, so you may not understand this term. It certainly doesn’t refer to ladies in fluorescent vests at school crossings (I don’t think they even existed back then) rather, a story I’d told Mark about thinking of myself as a lollipop because I have such a long neck and (back then) a round face, Like a lollipop. So he coined the nickname. Perhaps it was actually born at this party? I can’t recall.] I smiled … we waited till the train moved. I said sorry about his arm (dead from punching) he said “I’ll bet.” & I waved & he was smiling & so was I!! Back at home Moni, Sandie & Sharon left about 1½hrs later! I slept & showered. Is now 8:05 Gonna sleep I only got about ½hr sleep that night. Been a Bloody EXCELLENT weekend. Fi, Sandie & Moni I was upset a little with cos at the start – they got off their faces esp. Fi & were smoking etc. [It’s pretty judgemental but it came from a place of care for my friends. Learning, over time, about Tolerance and even later, about Non Attachment has helped to curb my ‘judgementalism’] Also SIX SEA SHELLS [art assignment]!! Trouble – not done!!

Monday 13/1/86

I watched TV & read. Went to Nana’s (I mean, we visited her in hospital.) That was a little boring. [Now I can appreciate how difficult it must have been for my poor nephew and niece when we spent many hours of the day in hospital during the final weeks of my mum’s – their Nana’s – life. Mind you, my Nana wasn’t quite on her deathbed.] Am still writing letter to Lucy. Is now about 18 pages long. It rained continuously today. Mostly, it spat, but there were often heavy downpours. I love the rain. It has stopped now. I am putting on weight. It is quite noticeable, too. I must get out and about. Will ring dad tomorrow & see if there’s any work yet. Also have to get uniforms & books yet. I’ll need a hell of a lot of money. [Hmph! I don’t recall having to buy my own textbooks and school uniforms. This is news to me.] Geez, it’s 10:15 already. Time flies. There was something else I was gonna say, but I forgetten. Damn. OH! I got 9hrs sleep last night! I feel great! no more black bags under me eyes

Tuesday 14/1/86

I read again today, but only a bit of time was spent on Lucy’s letter. I received one from her & she included a ℅ address so I finished up & mum sent it. It costed 60c cos’ it was so big. (It didn’t fit in a normal envelope.) [And of course 60 cents is what we now pay to send standard mail. Actually, in context, that’s not a huge price rise in 28 years. It was 33c back then. Considering fuel and house prices in Australia have respectively tripled and more than quadrupled in the same period of time…] Amanda’s staying here tonight. She & Julia & some others saw Goonies today. Australia also beat New Zealand in day/night cricket. Is 9:37. Wanna sleep straight away. Justine phoned me 2night & we’re going to town tomorrow. Still no work from dad. Need to buy uniforms etc. Am terrified about Cairns High. Absolutely frightened [and in red ink, evidently added at a later date] petrified [I had never changed schools in my life, apart from the obligatory move from primary to high school, so I was extremely nervous about the whole thing. Remember I’m quite the introvert and not bursting with self confidence. But I can now say it turned out to be one of the best moves in my life.]

Wednesday 15/1/86

Saw Sean♥ in town. Justine thinks I like him – I’m trying to convince her it’s just curiosity. It’ll be hard. I’ll get to see him all next year – but there’ll be other spunks. Also saw Anna & believe it or not, Donna C. She recognised me too! Shane & Clayton were also in town. We just walked around. Justine looked for black pants. We went to her dad’s work for lunch. Then later caught the bus home to her place. Watched “Monkees” on video & swam. Cooked tea again tonight. Wonder if sean recognised, let alone saw me today. Hope so! It’s 10:20.

Thursday 16/1/86

I went up to Fi’s at about 10:00 today. She read Lucy’s letter & the one she had just received from Fran. I went home soon after, cos’ Julia didn’t want me to be away for long. [I’m assuming here that mum was obviously out at work, and Julia and I were finally considered capable of staying home unsupervised. Heck, I’d hope so by age 15½] Fi rang a little later in the day – around 3:00 she came down. We talked & watched the cricket. The Australians were flogged by the Indians. I wrote a letter to Fran & another short one to Lucy, then I had paper ready to write a small one to Jodie & Michael, but Fi came. More rain today. The mosquitoes are consequently BAD. They’re biting me now. Had a great big rainstorm. Stood in the yard & watched it come!! Getting uniforms 2morrow. Is 9:45.

Friday 17/1/86

Did the vacuuming this morning & I was dripping with perspiration ALL OVER. Wet. My dress was sopping wet. [Ain’t nuthin’ like the humidity in the tropics!] After, went to see Nana & got my uniforms & some books. My chemistry book is gi-normous. And is heavy. Walked to Fi’s around 3:00. Took my stuff to show her. Mum’s started 1 of my skirts. [Mum made most of our school uniforms for as long as I can recall. Skirts mostly because they’re the easiest, but I do recall her making a few of my primary school dresses as well. “Such a clever mummy!” And I actually recall her saying that, laced with humour, to her very modest self, about herself, in her rare ‘proud’ moments.] Talked – did mainly nothing, so I left around 4:30. Had fresh mushrooms for tea. They’re growing in the park – they are edible & harmless & yummy too! they’re even nice raw!! Is HOT today. OH NO! Another late night! Is 10:45. My hair’s getting long. Posted letters to Fran & Lucy 2day.

Saturday 18/1/86

Today we played cards & our tapes. Fiona (from next door) F. gave me a fountain pen (very old, dirty & cracked but useable) + 5 cartridges (1 black + 4 red/pink.) I gave her $4 in return (mum’s money, actually) Very, very HOT today. New Zealand won day/night cricket against India. Good. That means India won’t overtake us. Hooray! We, in turn, must beat N.Z. tomorrow We will. 11:00 – I just watched the movie. Rains still (just a little) My hair’s growing fast – can’t do anything with it. SHIT HAIR. [Fine but thick (lots of it) my hair was too straight and soft to set in any style. It just wouldn’t stay where it was put. Very frustrating for a teenaged girl.] Mum made my shorts – cuties – tiny coloured dots + 1pr for her & 1pr for Jules. [Yep, mum on a roll at the sewing machine…]

Sunday 19/1/86

Today, I watched cricket (Australia beat NZ – and as a result, are far ahead of India & NZ!!! unreal) Lotsa rain today. In fact – non-stop. (mainly spitting) overcast all day – not too hot.. Couldn’t see “View to A Kill” cos of the rain – bit useless at a Drive In Mucked around abit. Had a bubble bath tonight. Lovely & relaxing. Lotsa toads & frogs cos of the rain. I’ve also run out of Beconase spray. OH NO!! Found a good way to wear my hair – parted further down the right side – easier to keep it apart from the main fringe. [‘Height’ was a prominent characteristic of mid 80’s hairstyles so teasing came back into mode, along with truckloads of hairspray. Doubled by girls with slippery fine hair like mine. I built a habit of impromptu teasing by rubbing my palm in circles at the site of my part, which created an impressive birds nest-style knot, but also the much-needed, highly-desired ‘body’ I continually lost. It worked well to semi-ressurect my hairstyle temporarily, but I don’t think I ever considered how it had the potential to thin the hair growth on that side of my head. I’m certainly not bald in that spot, but there’s definitely less sprouting from the right side of my scalp than there is on the left. By the way, I still part from the right to this day.] Getting more & more nervous ’bout school. [The closer it gets…] Having early night. Is 8:50.

Tag: sleep

Coincidences, Cover Songs & the Sleepover Toga Party (13-19 October)

Rain, Mail, Cricket & a Bubble Bath (13-19 January)