bike-riding – Page 2 – A Life in Words

Six Sea Shells, Water Fights & ‘Hopeless Devotion’ (20-26 October)

Published on October 20, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 20/10/86

I saw him (properly) once. And he smiled (I don’t know if it was to me but) he was looking at me at the same time. And keith was friendly enough – more so than Mark – but that’s just natural. I spent 3rd, little lunch, 4th, 5th & big lunch in the art room. My picture’s complete but I hate it. It’s boring. It needs something different. I hate it & I left my theory booklet in the art room so I haven’t done the theory (rang Monique to get the Questions) – God he’s gorgeous when he smiles!! (MW) Also started weight watchers today – was surprised how un-hungry I was!! Only got abit near dinner time. Otherwise amazing!! Waking early to do sea shells [the art assignment I was struggling with. We were expected to create a piece with the ‘uniform’ title Six Sea Shells]. Do what? God only knows!! Is 9:55

Tuesday 21/20/86

Got a lift to school again – got my theory part finished just in time. Woke early-ish..did the picture; added tracing paper & cellophane. Am pleased with the end product. My theory I rushed during double bio, art & little lunch. Saw little of Mark, but think he was looking at me. Sharon reckons so, too – as well as Steven. (?? hope!) [← am not certain that that was the word I meant – I couldn’t decipher my handwriting] Big lunch – the first free one (really) since I’ve been back at school. In the Daily Sun in the Library, (Taurus) mark’s starsign read; “You will have a change of heart for someone or something.” Someone!! Me?? Hope! Yummy gorgeous! Stevie’s cute too [“Stevie”??!]. Is 9:10 – coulda bin in bed ages ago fooling round. Travers rang me 2nite didn’t know what to say. Six sea shells finished – now have english oral & assignment + chem + maths + STUDY for exams

Wednesday 22/10/86

Yes! Yes! Yes! I think he dropped Nicole tonight. He was looking at me. Also talked today a bit – great!!! Then tonight we talked even more. I think I can tell!! Did no HW. Sharon’s staying over – late notice. Decided at the dance – so she didn’t have to go home early. Hot it was. Remind me to have a shower in the morning so I don’t stink. [Ooookaaay] Didn’t have much HW anyway. Finally got my bio mark back 35/40 Wo!! Still lotsa work to do. We talked a lot! I think I’ve realised the problem. I couldn’t hack it if Mark didn’t like me ever. I’m hopelessly devoted I think. [Yeah, that sure is a problem. The best news is that feeling changed!] Rode today. Rode home on own to make pants for the dance & I love ’em! Is [here I forgot to actually note the time]

Thursday 23/10/86

Yes! I did talk to him today! End of big lunch, before biology in 6th period And yes, I think he really does like me. Had fun at lunchtime today.. Angie, Fiona, Justine, Sharon, Donna, Sandie, Monique all ate mangoes from the big tree in the walkway down the centre of the school (I hate them) [not any more, they’re one of my favs now] & back at our area, Sharon & Kathyanne had a water fight. Got Asti. Were all sopping wet. All the guys & us girls were watching. They were (the guys) going to get me so Travers said. They got Fi when the bell went. Then Mark told me to come over “Fiona wanted to talk to me.” She said she didn’t – but I saw Steven with water so I ran. Yes! I was meant to be that target too, but Fi got it again. She was satched [a slang abbreviation for ‘saturated’]. During 7th p. started raining. Poured till about 6:00. Great rain!! Shoulda had an early night. Is 9:40. Got only 5 or so hours sleep last night. Sharon rode home on my bike at 5:50. Mum dropped me to school yet again.

Friday 24/10/86

Today we went downtown during period 4, 5, big lunch & 6th (& ½ of 7th) to clean off windows. Before that nothing happened except that I stuffed up my oral [english speaking assignment] totally. And I’m not going to repeat it [coz I detest “speaking in public”]. Walked downtown – mark, nev, Steven & keith right behind us. They, (mark, nev & steven) swam at Granada [a hotel] pool. I talked to him & steven. They disappeared then reappeared later. Talking to us, then steven started a fight – Mark & Steven against me with dirty (green) water. So? Who cares? [←not sure what that means] Then, walking back to school, Mark had a jet-spray gun. [Perhaps that’s what they went to get when they ‘disappeared’ earlier?] Chased me now & then Monique just walked. Stayed in art room for remaining school time – went for a walk – came back & mark & Steven had hidden our bags. Found them. Got changed and that was it. SO HOT. Glad I talk to Mark every day. [It had been a LONG time coming…the courage, the ‘opportunity’…] Does he really like me a lot? Beka’s staying over – came over primarily to see me – talking so much asked her to stay over.

Saturday 25/10/86

Beka left early. I spent the whole day writing the letter to Delanie, all about Mark. Get this → 32 pages long! Cherie & Petra (& Amanda) came over in the arvy. I love talking to Petra. I like Cherie a lot too. Got periods today. Anyhow, after I finally finished the letter (in a rush – I was so sick of writing it) I talked/thought about it. Writing that “history” and hearing it all again shed a different light on my feelings towards mark. I think, more like hope, that he really does like me more than other girls, in a different way. It’d be beautiful. I think I love him. He means almost everything to me at this point in time anyway. [Such a ‘romantic’.] Is 10:00. Wanna sleep in. Did little HW tonight. Have an english assignment left to do yet.

Sunday 26/10/86

Not an interesting day. Dad came around 11:00 [to pick us up]. (Before that I did some HW) I watched TV there. Oh! Besides that, I actually went for a walk on the beach [he and Jenny lived at Holloways Beach] for about 1 hour with Jules, during which I ‘leaked’ & I didn’t know till I got back. It was rectified, however. God its hot! Anthony, when I first saw him said to me “Liam wants to root you.” I couldn’t stop laughing (I didn’t know what to say?) [I seem to be stuck for words often. I’ve always been one of those people who thinks of a comeback or witty remark long after the moment has passed.] I always thought Liam hated me! Remembered how the others talked about him .. how he’d also screw [privacy omission here] if he had the chance. well, well…!!! [He’s a teenaged boy – isn’t that what most of them want to do?] Is only 8:00. Am going to bed. Did not even start my final english assignment, nor any study. Boring at dad’s I really really really [the third ‘really’ actually had a double underline under it. REALLY!] hope Mark likes me a real lot; and differently to all the others. That would be love. [Really?!]

Sunburn, Soreness & A Chemical Bath (22-28 September)

Published on September 22, 2014 by Elissa Coxen1 Comment

Monday 22/9/86

Went to town today. Getting ready this morning and guess who arrived? LUCY!! Yeah! She surprised me. And Fi when we picked her up! (She [Lucy] got on well with Monique too) [privacy omission here] I tried on heaps of clothes & shoes but bought nothing . . . Lucy, Fi & Monique did. Fi got shoes & togs & jumpsuit; Lucy got a pinafore dress & togs. Mima was working all day in KAFFA – spent lunch break with her. In the bus on the way home, saw John C. Yum. Too short for me tho (as if I’d have a chance) [and anyway, aren’t you obsessed with Mark?] Talked to Julie H this arvy – Sharon rang & I said I’d ring her back but forgot. Oh well. Gonna see Monique get her hair permed tomorrow. Am tired & upset (about?) everything. I just wish everything was going perfect for me. Not likely . Not my luck 11:00. [That’s the spirit!] must sleep – had to wear mum’s strapless bra to town today cos of sunburn. so sore!! Pain trying on all the clothes [Tsk, tsk]

Tuesday 23/9/86

Oh! My feet are sore! I went to town again. Took Fi. Met Monique at 10:10 at Kim Calverly’s [a popular hairdresser]. I wore my white skirt & red & white striped shirt – we sat for an hour then went (straight) to Treasurway & I bought a green/aqua polo shirt & wore it the rest of the day. We bought an ice cream and met Steven. Stayed with us the rest of the day. Walked round alot – visited mima (at work again) & occasionally popped in to see how Moni was going. Finally, her hair was finished (at 2:45) [Good lord, I’d forgotten how long perms take – not having had one myself since… the early 1990’s] Looks FANTASTIC. Gorgeous hair. She is Full stop!! Steven caught the bus home before we went to show mima moni’s hair→ . Fi couldn’t stop crying! It was so sad – [privacy omission here] . . . oh how terrible for her!! [privacy omission here] At home, I can’t work tomorrow Dad said there’s not any work!! Beka rang tonight. Am riding with her to Smithfield where Lucy’s staying. Fun!! Is almost 9:30 This watch is stuffed.

Wednesday 24/9/86

Rode over. Took about 30 mins. There, we talked while listening to music before all riding down to Smithfield Shopping Centre. Had brief glances around at shops – bought heaps of food & back at Lucy’s sat on the front verandah – no back!! & ate. swam, ate, talked . . .and finally Beka & I rode home. Got gear, picked up Beka & went back to Lucy’s. After dinner, we rang Fi – talked for ages – she’s coming to Fitzroy tomorrow & we rang monique – she’s coming too! Then we went for a walk – down to the park next to the Smithfield Fire Station – talking about guys – kissing mainly – walked back & sat outside by the gutter. Still talking. [What girls do best] I am sad still – inside. It is so obvious that Mark does not like me but that won’t register in my brain. I think the only way would be for him to tell me to my face that he doesn’t. The only way. Late night. About 11:30

A Life in Words — Fitzroy is closer to Cairns than Green Island but only seemed to gain popularity in the mid 1980’s. It is definitely my preferred local island.

Thursday 25/9/86

Fantastic day! Swam heaps – on the pontoon [there used to be a pontoon there? I don’t remember that] & around – was so beautiful. Didn’t get ‘sorely’ burnt. [Oh that’s ok then…] On my recovering burns I packed suncream. I got burnt on the back of my legs (upper) not much and browned a bit on my back & shoulders (again) but no PAIN!! Also upper arms. But we had fun. No hunks (our age) There were 2 guys we saw briefly near the kiosk (older) drinking – quite cute. We went rock-climbing but got stuck so had to return. Oh well! Wish Mark’d gone. Why would he? Nicole’d probably go too. Ate a bit (was fairly hungry). Saw mima before we left this morning she & jay walked around wharfs before work. Nothing really exciting happened. Met a Canadian guy Tom (21) & talked (& joked) alot with him. [Surely he’d’ve been in his element with the attention of five 16 year old girls?] about 9:35 – mum’s gone to Fishers for a drink. Nite!!

Friday 26/9/86

Today was my first uninteresting day. I was going to do my HW. Believe me, I wanted, more than anything, to do my english (etc) but I just couldn’t . I don’t know why – I wasn’t motivated . . I know I should’ve – that could’ve been the only spare day I got. Am working tomorrow & will probly be at Monique’s on Sunday (hopefully am staying at her place on Sat. nite (again!) with Fi & Mim & [omission here]) Hafta ring her about that tomorrow too. So today I listened to music, attempted my english assignment (but didn’t further it) ate, read & did other aimless stuff. I am looking forward to tomorrow night. I hope I have the biggest rage. And I’m not getting my hopes up that Mark’ll be there (or am I?) let alone my getting with him again. No forget it Liss. Julia stayed at Cherie’s last night & went to Palm Cove today. At Ramada Resort saw Brent & another guy – by her description it could’ve been Phil (or Tony H) watched movie (stupid) Is 10:55 Work tomorrow

Saturday 27/9/86

I worked 6 hours – packing – pouring chemicals into drums (back is killing and I was covered in chemicals) But got $24. [Fantastic! Paid a pittance for the privilege of back pain and god-knows-what kind of inflammation as a result of being doused in ammonia, sodium hypochlorite & the like. No such thing as ‘Workplace Health & Safety’ in the 80’s. There’s not a hope in hell I nor anyone would be undertaking that kind of work in this day and age.] Came home around 5:15. After about 20 phone calls – no joke – to monique & mima & from monique & fiona & mima it was decided that we wouldn’t go out. Lucy had come over at 5:30. We (fi, me, luc) were going to stay at monique’s & go out – [omission here] moni meeting Jay, but thanks to [privacy omission] the Bastard, everyone’s night was wrecked. He said he had to study [privacy omission here] …she’d been looking forward to going out with him – so [privacy omission] stayed home. [Privacy omission] stayed at Jay’s. Monique didn’t want to come to my place when I asked her & Lucy also went home. So we minded (mum & I) Fiona & Chris from next door. Is 11:00 Am so tired & depressed. I was really looking forward to going out tonight. [Privacy omission] stuffed up everyone’s plans [privacy omission] [No, ONE person made a decision for himself. Which led to others making their own decisions. Shit Happens.]

Sunday 28/9/86

Oh my back!! Packing yesterday really showed today – all my back muscles (particularly lower back) [uh-huh! and who suffers from chronic sacroiliac pain NOW? Damage certainly does start early…] and lower shoulders are so sore!!! But at least I’ve toned them! [Um, maybe? But the lower back: No.] Ha Ha! Woke – dunno when – but dragged out of bed about 8:15 to Lucy on the phone. Spent the morning doing very little productive (got ready slowly) waxed my armpits. WOW! Mum left for Palm Cove about 10:50. Lucy got me at 11:30. Got stuff for picnic & went to Trinity Beach (DAMMIT) Boring – we just lay on towels in the shade. Home about 4:00 (??) Did nothing there either. Is about 9:10 now. Going to bed – listen to Take 40 Aust on headphones (this week its an ‘all-time’ top 40.) Felt terrible today [guilty]. Mum went to Palm Cove on her own. How boring and lonely and sad. [Some people enjoy their own company. I came to realise Mum especially did. And I have taken after her, after all.] She said there were heaps of people there – esp good-looking guys (my age mostly) & saw mima. shoulda gone with her. Sleep well. Do some assignments elissa. You’re gonna be in big strife if you don’t. [Love the self-lectures… falling on deaf ears!]

A ‘Bizarre Love Triangle’ at the Fete (8-14 September)

Published on September 8, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 8/9/86

Well quite a few people (I think; Donna, Sandie, Monique, Mima, Fiona, Sharon, Tania, Heather, Linda, Tanja, Judy & Rebecca G – that’s all I think) know about Phillip C liking me. And of those who know/have seen him, all reckon he’s cute – some say gorgeous – best bod! Lifesaver! Swimmer! Wow. But mima told me that Melinda B reckons Peter H was at Phillip’s place on Sunday; meaning he rang from there. SHAME!! But I still love Mark. But he obviously (??) likes Nicole… Cameron & Judy rubbed it in today. Cameron in chemistry said “Did you go with the others to the Playpen?” “No” went to the movies” – “Oh, we went to Nicoles.” Fine, Cameron – that’s just great. What’m I s’posed to say? Then Judy at the busstop reckons “Have you seen Nicole’s love bite? Can’t miss it – big purple mark all over her neck and shoulder.” Double fine, huh? You bastard Mark. You’ve got to love me. Please. I want you more than anything. [Ugh, desperation! With hindsight I have to say this whole infatuation experience was a HUGE ‘life lesson’ I did finally learn from.] I’m tired. Bin studying for maths Ha! Got chem mark back 11½/15 – I passed by lots!! Wow!! Bludge day.

Tuesday 9/9/86

I won’t get to see what Phillip looks like until tomorrow; CAD (& selected Yr 11 & 12 art students – including Mark) are going walking around town during recreation time looking for people to do their windows for Fun In the Sun. Monique Sandie, me & Donna got the best block; Boland Centre, Rockmans, cominos arcade. Wo! Rage! (But I really wanted to go swimming so I could perve on Master C. Oh well! I still like Mark, but I don’t feel as depressed as before (I guess this matter with Phil has boosted my self-confidence somewhat) I’m watching a mini-series (Part 1) at the moment; it’s 9:55. Will probably get to bed around 11:30. Didn’t ride today. Maths exam I failed that’s all I have to say – I’m glad I learnt my content – that might’ve helped. HOPE Dunno if I’m riding tomorrow or not. Want to sleep in. Fun tomorrow I hope. Started doing some speech HW – unbelievable! Exam next Thurs.

Wednesday 10/9/86

Mima & I rode today (Adam, too) Didn’t get any test results back (i.e. Maths or English) At big lunch, Donna & I rode to City Place. We walked down to metropolitan building society so she could get money out then to Monique & Sandie (& Ms Marsland) for instructions about getting “clients”. All four of us had the best block to cover; the Boland centre one. It took longer than most others. Lots weren’t interested in us painting/decorating their windows – but there were still fair few who would “get back to us”. [Ha!] After, rode back to school, picked up my bag & waited for mima. I left & rode home on my own at 3:05 – quite impatient, then after speech when we were talking she said she got to school at 3:20 – lucky I didn’t wait – long time! But at speech asked Megan if she knew P.C. – she said “Yeah” I said what do you think of him? She said “pretty cute” & that one of her friends was flipped over him. That makes me feel really great. Someone who lotsa girls like & he likes me!! 10:40.

Thursday 11/9/86

Rode again. Got my haircut, too – (“much”) shorter on the left side. It feels much better. Rode really slowly esp. on the way home: stopped & pigged out, let the buses pass us. (Forgot about Saints) [Phillip was a ‘Saints’ boy, so I suppose I thought he might be on that bus and I could have caught a glimpse… had I not forgotten] Got maths & english marks back I PASSED MATHS!! I had thought without a doubt that I’d have failed but I passed!! 17½/30!! Great! [Great? It’s funny how my attitude towards schoolwork changed when I moved to Cairns High. At my primary school and during my junior High years at Smithfield, barely passing would have crushed me.] And english I thought I failed – but I did better than last semester! 8/10!! Wo! Great day! I think I’m gonna hafta forget Mark I only wish what I see & believe to be was true. I wish. But I’m also extremely curious to see Phillip C too. Fete tomorrow! That will decide!! I think. And Mark will be there too. He doesn’t talk or even look at me anymore. Probably hates my guts. Why, though? Bastard. I love him so much tho [Haha, these mental processes smack of schizophrenia!] 9:55. get some sleep late nite tomorrow. Did no HW again. Terrible bloody habit.

Friday 12/9/86

I’m dead. And kinda depressed. It’s just after 12:00. I saw Phil; Peter came up and was talking. How embarrassing – what could I say or do? I felt sick. [Nerves] (He (Phil) was cute/gorgeous, but it’s made no impact on me. I’m still hopelessly devoted to Mark, who I’m sure doesn’t like me) [I know this reaction is based in Fear: “better the Devil you know” is an extremely apt expression in this case] Oh, I even danced with him (& Fiona & Keith & Justine) but that was it. A pity. I do like him so much. I wore my new blue shirt which I got at lunchtime today (walked to town with Sandie and Monique) & blue & white striped skirt (found out they were the perfect match (in colour) UNBELIEVABLE!!) No HW except english & speech this weekend and I intend to get them done speech exam next Thursday. SHIT. Fete itself was boring – dance was OK. Tired. I feel terrible. I ignored Phil all night & moped around after Mark. Why am I such a loser? [No comment!]

Saturday 13/9/86

Did nothing constructive, except get my periods, today. [LOL and that’s constructive HOW? If anything menstruation is about DEconstruction] I am ashamed [because I didn’t do→]: I have 3 english assignments due this friday a speech theory exam this Thursday, a biology exam this Tuesday and a trial-run speech exam tomorrow. And the best thing I did today was to read up all about star signs.. [best?] otherwise I watched TV or read…. Was extremely depressed this morning, thinking about last night. Y’know how we were all dancing together ..well I think – I’m sure I dreamt that Mark said “Remember this?” to me as True Colours was played. Yes it must have been a dream cos they didn’t play that …or did they? Anyway, I can’t even remember what Phil looks like now, except his blue eyes (gorgeous) Rang Fi tonight – talking about Mark & etc. I think I’ll have to be content with being his friend & working my way up (???) from there. Just watched a movie. Is 11:45. Had a terribly dull day – it was gorgeous weather. Wonder if Mark’s at Lenora’s party??

Sunday 14/9/86

11:06. I just watched Superman III on TV. At speech this morning, Megan, mima & I talked (& laughed) a fair bit so our exams took a bit longer than 2hrs – probably about 2½ or 3. Anyway, I ended up doing it out of my notes.. I didn’t know a thing. (I rode up) at home I watched a little TV, did assignment work, listened to music & read. Petra (& Amanda for a while) came up. I like it when Petra’s here. We talk (I told them all about the night I was with Mark) Brings back memories. I long for another kiss (or 10) like those he gave me that night. Yum!! (Not really romantic tho’) I wonder if I’m a good kisser? Ha Ha god I say some stupid things! [Oh yes. Yes you do.] Anyway another fuitless weekend – only wrote about one paragraph more on one eng. assign. Have 2½ english assignments to do. God help me. Mark won’t be at school tomorrow or Tuesday – Geography excursions.

Bugs, Broken Bones, Bitching & the Commonwealth Games (21-27 July)

Published on July 21, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 21/7/86

Oh! It’s (almost) 9:15 and I’ve just done about ¾ page of my english assignment. I must get a move on (it’s obvious I won’t get it done for tomorrow, even though it was due today.) We’re riding tomorrow, too!! Goody! I love riding. Boring day, really. Almost fell asleep in doub. chem. almost fell asleep in trip. art and almost fell asleep in maths (Nah! I was laughing in maths) Cameron’s so nice. I’m really, really truly glad he is my great friend. Did no other HW tonight (am getting way behind in maths; I just don’t understand it.) Lotsa bugs around [we didn’t have flyscreens on our windows or doors: louvres are hard to fit and french doors lose their charm if you try to fix screen doors to them. Plus, we probably couldn’t afford them] and … it’s quite warm tonight (hold it, I’ll open some windows, I think!!) Believe it or not Trish said hello to me today. Why she being so nice?? [why not?] mima was away – got a wog. [While in Australian slang the word ‘wog’ is a derogatory term for generally southern Europeans, it is also used to describe illness, like she got a ‘bug’] don’t really feel like saying I love mark cos do I??

Tuesday 22/7/86

I laughed a lot today. In Bio, Chris (K) was telling Donna & I all about Cameron’s accidents… he is so accident-prone! Broken bones, cuts & abrasions… car accidents you name it; he’s had it!! And laughing in maths, too!! Funneeee!! I really don’t think I love Mark. I look at him (when I can) but I think that’s all it is – I just think he’s gorgeous. I mean, I don’t feel for him I suppose my feelings could change if ‘something’ happened (when?) I could get properly interested in him, but at the moment, I’m not. Brent was teasing me about it in front of a whole lot of people at lunch time today. Did little HW today but I’m stayin home tomorrow!! Sports Carnival is on (mima & fi are too) I’ve got heaps HW to do → esp. speech. mima told me this morning when we were riding to school that our speech exam has been put forward. We now have 3 weeks to go. SHIT!!

Wednesday 23/7/86

Boy am I tired!! “Mistral’s daughter” finished about 11:30 I slept in though! (I stayed home!!) At speech, mima said she’d tried to ring me but the answering machine was on. I was home, too. Oh well!! (I am very far behind in speech. Didn’t get any done today – I was doing my english. Come to think of it, I got very little of that done too!! – But I did a lot more tonight.) I still have maths to catch up on. Oh woe is me. wedding (Royal one) [Prince Andrew getting hitched to Sarah Ferguson] was on. Watched parts of it while I did my english. Am bloody tired. Could not get my eyes open all this morning!! Took me about 3 or 4 hours to wake up!! Bloody bugs all over the place. Is 11:15. Another late night (SHIT)

Thursday 24/7/86

I’ve come to a definite conclusion. I don’t ‘like’ Mark anymore. Sure, he’s still the most gorgeous hunk, but I don’t really care what happens to him. I mean, he could have made an attempt (he has in the past) but he’s too shy (I’m really one to speak, huh??!!) To begin with, if he likes me so much, why fuck Tricia? [1. He’s attracted to her] And even if he did go with her after it to make her feel ‘respectable’, why has it been 2 weeks? Why didn’t he drop her after 1?? [Clearly it’s not just ‘obligation’] He’s stupid. Does he really think I’d like him after he did that? What a dickhead. [Oh the Green Monster.. it’s ugly isn’t it?] Anyway, I got my assignment (english) done but didn’t hand it in. Will tomorrow. Bio exam tomorrow, 1st period. Cheat!!! [Cheat? That’s not like me!] Is 9:40. Will I get to sleep early tonite??? Rode again today. I love it!!

Friday 25/7/86

I am so tired (watching Commonwealth Games at the moment) Ate a big dinner. Err…!!! In Biol, (we didn’t have our exam as Mr Short was away) our relief teacher gave us all these logic (etc) problems. Was fun. At the end we were doing anagrams, & I got one right, and Duane (Dwain!!) said something to embarrass me (it worked) – (all the guys were sitting near, too!) Donna reckons “guess who was looking at you and smiling?” I said, “I don’t care”, but I had the biggest smile on my face!! Otherwise, a boring day. Nothing fantastic happened at all. The news is on now. I think I’ll go to bed now. I am tired. Not working tomorrow. Don’t feel like it. Lucy’s birthday in 4 days. What’ll I do for her?? Ring her?? Or send something?? I wish, wish, wish Mark cared about me so much that… that he wouldn’t hurt me so. [haha, so fickle! Thought you didn’t care?!] 9:35

Saturday 26/7/86

I did very little of everything today; except eat. I pigged out so ‘severely’! And I wonder why I’m fat (or at least, bulgy) Oh well! Watched TV, did bitta HW (have left maths & english for tomorrow) Am tired – Is 10:10 Comm. Wealth Games are on (Australia leading in medal tally so far!! 6 gold!!! Yay!!!) Dunno if I’ll go to bed yet, or not… I’m tired but I can sleep in (or can I?? I didn’t this morning) Wish things were like they were before. Before I found out Mark liked me; before Sharon knew I liked him. Now, it’s useless. We both know & are both too shy. It’s not fair. Not fair. Oh well…. life MUST go on. 10:20 now. Oh. (winge, whine) why does Mark have to be such a jerk?????????????? [Oh my GOD… never satisfied!]

Sunday 27/7/86

Ha Ha Ha. What a bludge. Yes, you guessed it; I did next to nothing constructive except PIG OUT yet again. I can’t believe how much I eat. Went to visit Nana again (we went Friday night, too→ she’s in hospital again – she stopped taking all her tablets cos they were making her sick and got a bad [rheumatoid] arthritis attack again. Poor nin) [‘Nin’ was a nickname we had for our Nana] Boring! Watched Comm. Games ‘Hi lives’ again this morning & are watching live now. Aust has won 5/10 possible golds in swimming so far. Excellent huh?!!! Want a reasonably early night. Is 9:30 now. Probly get to bed around 10:00. Am a bit hot, too. Did only a bit of maths HW today. Thank god for school!! (Started to worry today, again, about my future after school→ it really frightens me. About Mark; well, I just wish it could be different. It won’t work.

The Cast of Grease & the Honour Rejected (12-18 May)

Published on May 12, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 12/5/86

He was on a geography excursion today. I caught a glance of him as he was getting on the bus. So the “school” was quite empty i.e.: only Keith, Cameron, Brent (really) were left. “Excitement” about the party – everyone gossiping. Angie J has told all the girls they were only kissing but the guys knew differently. Personally, I believe she did have sex with him. [I really think this belief is half based in jealousy (obviously) but also Pessimism: assuming the ‘worst’.] A little depressing today was, on our way home (we (Fi & I) were in the back seat (“as usual)) & Cameron was too. were talking about ‘loves’ Cameron says most of the guys like Sharon. (think she’s good looking, anyway) Mark too. He didn’t say much about that. But I’m wondering seriously whether Mark does like Sharon or not. I keep telling myself ME MEANS NOTHING TO ME. [Haha, keep going…] 9:40. Jeez, I’m confused. I wish someone would tell me, straight out, whether Mark likes me or not. [Strangely enough it’s these comments that piss me off the most, now. FFS, was I really such a persistently wishful-thinking sook?! Oops, now I have to chastise myself for being so hard on myself! Especially being so hard on my little 15 year-old self.]

Tuesday 13/5/86

It’s 9:52. I’m watching part one of “Gone With the Wind”. It’s on TV. If it doesn’t finish soon, I’ll have to go to bed – I’m bugared. [That’s right, it WAS an Epic film wasn’t it? A 4 hour saga, it was actually broken up into two parts for television. Is it sill the longest (commercial/popular) film ever made?] Rode today. Riding home, stopped at Stratford (Fi got off the bus) & talked to Beka & Justine & Kym. Then Fi & mima (doubled [as in, doubled on a bike]) came over. At 5:30 they left. I did a little HW, had dinner, a bath & went to mima’s to watch “Grease”. Was great. Am so excited about the play! Today I was happy, in the morning. It “appeared” to me that Mark was trying to make me notice him. (Sharon shamed me – talking about him, in the library, and he was standing just behind) S’pose to have been ignoring Angie which made me happy too. But then he was talking to her later. Oh well. On the other hand, it wouldn’t be so good if someone told me whether Mark liked me or not cos if the answer was no I’d be mighty upset. [That’s Life, chick.]

Wednesday 14/5/86

9:55. Riding tomorrow. Stuff “Gone with the Wind”. I’m too tired to watch it. Pity, tho, huh? I HATE WEDNESDAYS so much. Cameron’s hanging around Mark a lot more since I told him that I like Mark. (Wonder why?) It’s probably got nothing to do with that. [Yep!] But I hate Wednesdays. And I “love” Mark (I know it’s not love, but if I could become goods friends – I’m sure it’d grow) [Well at least I was ‘aware’ enough to know that saying I loved someone didn’t necessarily mean I did…?!?] Ms. Black doesn’t like me, I’m sure. Mim & I didn’t do anything in recreational art today. Found out who got in the play Grease. I’m not listed. Either’s mima. Heather: Sandy, AnnMarie: Rizzo, Peta R: Marty, Clare McK – Frenchie, Tootsie is Patty, Steven – Danny, Neville Kenicki, Brent is Roger. Wow. I am tired. Speech – boring. HATE Wednesdays. Fi & I were asked to be ushers for the Yr 12 formal. Have to have partners so I own’t go. Everyone thinks I’m crazy (I know I am)

Thursday 15/5/86

Got a letter from Lucy: am writing back now – must also write back to Fran. News is she’s coming up in June Holidays for sure!!!! Riding to school today I had a prang on Aeroglen Drive: skinned my right knee – that’s all shook me up, tho→ I fell straight over & couldn’t get up for shaking. A council truck drove past & the 3 guys laughed. I chucked an enormous flash!!! [For those unaware, “chucking a flash” meant giving an eyeful – whether deliberately or accidentally – to some one – or more – of things you would rather or should NOT!] Shame. I went to the doctor’s this arvy too. Dr D said my nose is normal – the only way to rid nasality is speech exercises [read: I had a “lazy soft palate” so had to exercise the muscle – like any other weak muscles in the body] and I’ll just have to keep using my Becotide (until hopefully I grow out of my allergies) 9:35. I was kinda bored – unsettled today. I don’t want to do this ushering – but Carla reckons it’s an honour – so I can’t back out. What the fuck will I do?? I won’t get a partner. Am tired. I think. Kinda pissed off. Asked Mark a Q in Bio today. Barely answered

Friday 16/5/86

The “ushering” thing pushed me to my limits today. Spent almost whole lunch hour with Carla, Clare, Maureen B, & Heather, trying to decide what to do. I didn’t want to but according to Carla it was an honour – and I couldn’t refuse. But I have. I got so upset at the end – talking to Fi, that my eyes watered & I didn’t go to the dancing in tutorial. I am not going. It is part to do with Steven (being my partner, cos I don’t really know him well) but mostly in-confidence. i.e.: not enough. [Again, at least I was aware of and honest about my ‘failings’] Cameron couldn’t believe (& Brent) that I backed out. It’s almost as if he really wanted me to go. Ha! Anyway I’m not. It’s 10:15. Went late night: bought pr men’s PJ’s (snuggy!!) & fantastic new adidas sandshoes. I LOVE THEM!! In Coles, talking to Maureen – she offered me a job. think I might take it up, next time. So many people came up & said Hi. But I didn’t see Mark at all. BOO HOO. Also, in the carpark, I dropped a whole bag of oranges!! SHAME!! I couldn’t stop laughing: Torstein & this cute guy were doing trolleys helped me pick them up. HOW EMBARRASSING! ALSO – went to Freshy Pub with Geoff 4 tea. I didn’t eat. [??]

Saturday 17/5/86

Earned $23. Yes! I am getting my normal $4 rate – but I’ll still ask Maureen about a job at school on Monday. Boring. Rushed home, rushed & got ready & rushed to pick up Nana to hurry & get to the Railway Station on time to pick up mum’s uncle (nana’s husband’s brother) [This took me a moment to work out: my grandmother was married twice, but this particular man would have been mum’s real (blood) relative – the brother of her father, whom I never met. Mum’s dad (my grandfather) died while mum was a teenager. Coincidentally, so did my father’s mother (my grandmother on the other side) Beginning to realise that there has been a fair bit of ‘premature death’ in my immediate family unit]. That took bloody 10 mins. Rush for nothing! Then we dropped Nana home & at the moment, I’m still writing Letter to lucy while watching Saturday Night Fever on TV (again) 10:22. I wish I could hurry & finish the letter. I’d like to get to bed – have heaps HW for tomorrow. Wanna get it done.

Sunday 18/5/86

“Officer & A Gentleman” will be finished soon, I think (I hope – it’s 10:42) Today, I did a bit of chemistry, maths & english HW. Just bits. But I’m glad I did do some of my english – at least I know where I’m at with my assignment. —Yes!! Now it’s finished and I love it! (the movie) now it’s 10:51. Pretty Cool tonight (i.e.: cooler than usual – and the usual is pretty cool now) Wrote to Fran today. Also ate quite little, thank god. But I’m tired. I think. I must’ve down something to my waist/hips/ribs when I fell off my bike, cos ever since then, around my waist, hurts when I laugh, etc (also had sore muscles esp in my right upper arm) maybe I pulled muscle?!! [Ya think?] School. I can wear my fab new shoes. Love ’em: just like Lucy’s and Rebecca G’s. LOVE THEM!

Bludging, Laughing & Raging on the Weekend (10-16 February)

Published on February 10, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 10/2/86

I do have my black bags back again. Boring day. Chemistry class was split; I’m with Tanja. And that’s it (except for Brent, Cameron & David, our class is full of deadshits – OH Linda & Heather aren’t.) It was so boring. We have Mr Lavers but he was away so we bludged the whole 2 lessons (no teacher told us what to do) I wrote a letter to Fi & mim (that’s 3 classes they have together, now) and also Delanie. Mim & Fi said that they understand all that work now- with Mr Misamis. Lucky. Wish our class was one. I’d rather one of 35 than two of 15 & 20. [When you’re 15 your friends mean more than your education, although I realise now the importance of small class numbers.] SHIT classes. Had to stand on bus this arvy. Valentine’s Day will be sooo depressing for me. Is 9:31. I think I’m riding tomorrow.

Tuesday 11/2/86

I liked today. It was good. I don’t know why, I just feel happy – it was no special day. Biology was a bludge. Maureen, Donna, Angie & I talked. It was quite cool last night – I had only my sheet on & (nothing except undies) used my pillow to try and keep me warm. [I still do that sometimes: if there’s no extra bedding within reach, forget climbing out of bed – use a pillow!] Tonight I’m wearing the old, faded, poly/cotton nightie. Hope it’s cold again. Rode home really fast this arvy – beat Julia’s & our buses home – no sweat! (Well, actually there was a lot!) Just too early to meet Justine & Beka though. Rang Justine – we talked for 45mins!! Mum & Julia got cranky & made me hang up. [This was not the first, and definitely not the last time I would ‘hog’ the phone (remember kiddies, there were no mobiles in the 80’s)…and it’s quite funny considering how much I hate talking on the phone now.] Laughed a lot today (in Maths, mainly) Fi told me about Cameron asking about me. [In relation to being a past neighbour of his father & stepmother – not for the reasons one might ordinarily guess] He didn’t even know I was at this school!! Is 9:30 on the dot!!

Wednesday 12/2/86

Pretty good day again today (I mean not special – but not boring) At lunchtime, Tanja, Fi & mim & I went into a Room & soon all the boys (well, the ones I like) were in there too. [I certainly was impressed by this moment because it’s remained one of my clearest & most favourite memories of my early days at CHS….possibly because it may have felt like the boys were seeking our attention?] I’ve decided the ones I like best are Steven, Cameron & Mark (& David & Ricky a bit) I think (I’m trying not to get my hopes up) Steven might like me. Whenever I see him he’s always in positions where I know he can see me. >HOPE< & ditto (kinda) with Mark and Cameron. Had a laugh in Chemistry with Tanja today over bomby cars!! Went home on the Saints bus instead. [Saint Augustine’s was a Catholic boys-only school, and a major ‘competitor’ to Cairns High especially in male-dominated sports. But I guess also, in a respect, a competitor for girls’ attentions…] Chem & Bio Big bludges – teachers are away on YR12 camp. Had no relief teacher for Bio!! At all! I love laughing. [Who doesn’t? Unless you’re being tickled to death and you can’t breathe.] It’s 8:42 – early nite

Thursday 13/2/86

I was naughty today. [Such a strong sense of Conscience] I rode (doubled Fi) to the Trubook Baths in lunchtime (Mima was doubled by Donna & Sharon took Fi’s bike with a guy.) Also Mark F. & Melinda B went too (also some other kids.) Was alright, except for the teachers. They stopped all Smithfield kids from talking to us & one teacher even followed us round the fence-line, warning & telling us to go away. Saw Justine, Richard, Adrienne, Erica, Jay, Anna, Colleen etc. Poor Anna looked so sad. She hates Smithfield now. So much. Riding home, stopped at Stratty P.O. to buy stamps for Mim. Beka got off bus. Talked for a while. All buses passed me. Had religion today too. FUN!! (Blah!) [As far as I can remember, that was the ONLY “religious education” I ever received in my two years at Cairn High. In fact, I don’t recall getting any at Smithfield in the three years I was there either! I guess that’s state school for you? Hooray!] Is a little sticky at the moment tho it’s 8:40. Not hot – just sticky

Friday 14/2/86

VALENTINE’S DAY is sooo depressing! God, I’m HOT And disappointed. I’ve got over my depression but I’m still a bit disappointed. [Look out for an extra special blogpost, this Friday: I wrote about this ‘depression’ in further detail…it’s incredibly woeful!] But, chin up. Think of the future. (things MUST change) They will. Mima can stay over tomorrow night (I’m trying to get Fi over, too.) Hopefully (I talked to mum) we can go to Anne Marie’s party. Otherwise,we’ll drop in at Mark’s for a while. Fi got 2 val. cards (one from mima – the other from Glen) Brent’s got one for mima. But she hasn’t got it yet. And me? Of course, I got none. It’s 10:41. I didn’t want a late night – my clock just stopped ticking. Hafta wind it up.. That’s betta!! The card for Cameron from julia, everyone (mostly) thought it was from me. SHAME [My sister had a crush on Cameron, spanning back from the days when we lived beside his father & stepmother, circa 1983-4. Because she was still at Smithfield High, I was the courier for her valentine’s card to him and I definitely copped some flack thanks to others’ assumptions.]

Saturday 15/2/86

Tried to make myself do HW before mima came, but didn’t. Sunbaked for 40mins (20ea. side) Coloured a little bit. When mima came, we did HW. 12:00-4:00 No! 5:00! In that time, we rang Fi & she came up and Brent rang twice. After, walked down the shops (at Freshy Creek) and bought …cigarettes. [I’m guessing they cost in the vicinity of $2 for a packet back then (the equivalent of about $4 now), so it wouldn’t’ve been too hard for us to scrape together the coin needed for them.] Got ready around 6:30. Got there [where? Anne-Marie’s party?] at 8:30. Heapsa Smithfield ragers. Stephen N (remember him – blonde-haired spunk) was there. (Everyone thinks he’s cute – Anna, Mim, Fi, Col, & Sally) Went to Suzelle’s & drank Westcoast (other people’s – got in deep shit) Back at Mark’s all night. Had 3 smokes. Lotsa drunk kids. Gangs around Old Smithy Road corner. Bashed Ward (Mark’s friend) everyone scared. All went – thought police would come. Everyone made to be driven home. Really scary. Neville & Torsten went missing for 2 hours. 12:00-2:00. Were all right. Is 2:30 now. Are all shit-tired!

Sunday 16/2/86

Woke 8:30. Shit! Got only about 5-6 hrs sleep. Shit!! Did nothing while mima did English assignment & Fi some Bio. HW. Fi had to go to work 11:30. We (mim & I) went to Mark’s – looked at the mess & helped clean up. We even got food & shit in our back yard. Whole street & park area big mess. Anyhow, cleaned our bikes (after we walked to shop for lollies & dropped mim’s gear off) Got burnt Then made patty cakes. Then iced them. Ate some. Had a big talk in the park around 5:30 to 7:00 after we’d seen Cameron (McK) & 2 other guys riding up the street (But they never came back) Talk was great. Steven B is not a virgin. Mima said so many guys aren’t. So many nice (looking) guys. (Mark W) Pity. Pity. Pity. [Oh this makes me laugh! Was I really SO innocent & naive?!] Is 8:49. Am tired. Must sleep. PACKED WEEKEND: was a RAGE.

Noisy Neighbours & an Eyeful of Toothpaste (3-9 February)

Published on February 3, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 3/2/86

Art is hard. I’m not sure if I like it too much. We have to do a journal (just 2 people per week – this we[ek] me & Angela M) Ask people how they feel about being back at school etc taking Quotes. SHIT. [I’m shy – in case you have missed that along the way – so this kind of assignment would bother me not so much for the work involved, but simply for the fact that I’d have to talk to people…. people I didn’t know because I was brand new to the school.] Wrote 8 page detailed letter to Jodie & Mike about the cyclone. Got letter from Jodie & Fran today. Gonna write to Fran again, soon. Hot today. Bit sunny. Had some rain but Turning point was the ELECTRICITY CAME ON AT 8:26pm!! 2 days 5 hours without power. Gee! Riding tomorrow I think. Farting a lot. No smell. […in case you were wondering…] Is 9:57 (late.)

Tuesday 4/2/86

Riding – hot & sweaty but good!! Got to school at 8:10, but finally went to our area at 8:40 cos’ we’d spent the time on the oval waiting to cool down. Was bad!! Riding home, I “dropped” (lost) my 2 art pictures, they went under cars, bikes, but I got them back in a pretty good condition believe it or not!! Also got my Bio texts today which made my bag 50kgs heavier!! (OOH! Mozzies are bad) Had no English today – Great! Had no chemistry – BOO HOO! Got an ulcer on my tongue. Still have no idea what to do about this frigging journal for art. Stuffed shit. I talked to Neville today in art. Was funny (wierd) – for me at least. Is 10:03 – very late tonight!

Wednesday 5/2/86

HOT today. That’s why we need rain – its never that hot. I sat in the back seat today with Polly & Ruth/Judy ( / means they swapped ½ way) And Fiona (f) told me that Mark likes me & Neville doesn’t. (Don’t blame him) This art course is getting me more frustrated by the second – so much work – barely anything to do with ART. Hmph! Am boiling. Party next door – Fullers. Kids are playing spotlight or something – yelling soooo loud. SHIT is hot. Might have another shower before I hit the sack. Is 9:39. I need an early night, some time (soon) SHUT UP next door!! Night!

Thursday 6/2/86

It’s 9:27. I can never get an early night. It’ll probly take me an hour to get to sleep & I’m a bit sticky although it’s raining now + I Hope it doesn’t stop. this morning mima & fiona caught me by surprise – they appeared on their bikes. Luckily I was ready early. Today I found out 2 other guys who like me – both dark – one, the one who likes me the most, is ugly & yukky & I hate him. [Harsh!] Goes on our bus & is in my maths class. The other one’s okay looking but is a toughie – a jerk – a reject. Max temperature today was 36.6º STINKING HOT especially riding home & when I got home (believe it or not) Neville (was at Mark’s) Yelled hello & waved. I, naturally, a nice person, waved back & “Hi!”

Friday 7/2/86

I had a feeling today would be a bad day … it wasn’t. But it wasn’t fantastic either. I did no HW at all today. SHIT its hot. Wasn’t as bad today as it was yesterday. Our chemistry class is gonna be split on Monday. Betcha anything I’ll be separated from the main. Betcha. Christ it’s hot. Got my english contract for Sem. 1 – today & found out that stupid [art] journal is due today & not Mon. but she’s letting me hand it in then. I was the only one who got my 6 logos right today – Betcha people think I’m a pet or something. Is 11:06. Another late night I wish there was no school. Bores me shitless. I think all the hunks at CHS dislike me & all the dags do like me. I feel really lousy.

Saturday 8/2/86

You’ll never believe what I just did to myself. I was brushing my teeth, when on reflex, the brush flew out of my mouth and my reflexes shoved it into my eye!! I cacked myself (so did mum – not Geoff) [to ‘cack’ oneself is to laugh so hard one might soil one’s self] It looked so funny!! Although the toothpaste got in & began to sting a bit. FUNNEEE!!!! Am hot. Today I did no HW either. We went to help (to clean) Nana’s flat, from 10:00 to about 1:30. [I assume this is when she moved into the nursing home. She wasn’t ‘infirm’ – she just needed to be somewhere where she could receive assistance if she had any difficulties. The rheumatoid arthritis was beginning to erode her independence so she was placed into a ‘serviced apartment’ in the complex. She was still autonomous.] Was boring. At home I did nothing. I should have done my HW: I’m such a procrastinator. It’s only 8:34 now – I’m having an early night. D’you know, Fi, mim & I (& some others) put our names down for the school social committee yesterday?? I wonder if we’ll be organising a Valentine’s Dance??

Sunday 9/2/86

Today I woke at 8:37. I couldn’t believe I slept for 11hrs last night!! It’s great – there are no bags under my eyes!! (But I’ve just watched the movie – it’s 10:26 – so I’ll probly get them back) I did my HW after all, at around 10:30. Mim rang me then & asked if I’d like to ride to Trubok Pools so we could practise for the swimming carnival. It was perfect except that I had to see Dad off today. [I have no idea where he was going…and why it was necessary to “see him off”. One would expect it to be a lengthy or distant journey for this kind of ‘fanfare’.] So I refused. Dad came at 2:00. At the airport we sat in the bar with some Hash people. Said goodbye. Stayed with Hashers at bar, till Roger took us home at 4:00. I ate sooo much. Watched TV & finally finished my art journal – is really crappy!