[Insert hand-drawn musical notes] Torn between two Lovers [insert more musical notes]…. Nah!! I dunno (still) who I like better!! My necklace (crystals – fake) from Jenny broke today. I took it to show my friends. Have lost about eight – ten beads. OH well… Dunno which camp to go on – the one to Little Mulgrave or Tinaroo.(Am really wanting to know which one (or if) Tim’s going on.) It’s a camp just 4 us YR 10’s!! Have begun cutting down on food intake from today. Read an article in “New Idea” about when you feel hungry (whether it be from seeing someone else eating, depression/boredom etc.) to massage certain parts of your body & the hunger pangs die. When I was hungry for dinner, I tried it & sure enough I had ¾ of the amount I would normally have had. Also am gonna try to drink lots water before a meal. Is supposed to fill you up!! Hope it all works!!! [Hmmm, and also dilutes your stomach acids so it kind of hinders the digestive process. You should only drink before a meal if you’re trying to determine whether you are actually hungry, since thirst is often confused as hunger. Either way, you need to wait 10 minutes or so to find out: if truly hungry, the stomach acids will re-concentrate, bringing back your ‘hunger pangs’.]
Today was boring. Ate less, but after dinner, demolished almost ¾ tin of peaches. Big brawl with Julia climaxed today – mum tried to make us explain Julia denied everything. She just gets shitty whenever I get a seat nearest to the back [of the bus] than her (or if I get a seat at all) at skool & home she’s fine – but on the bus she talks about me to her friends & gives me dirty looks. Late night tonight. Am going on Little Mulgrave Camp after all, even if Tim doesn’t. (Tina, Fran etc are)
Early night, mum’s at a National Trust meeting. Julia and I are at home on our own!! (Believe it or not!!) We’ll be asleep before she gets home (about 10) Is 8:30 now. Fiona isn’t talking to me. I think it’s because I don’t talk as much to her cos’ I feel that anything I say is stupid, unimportant etc. She, Anna & Megan went to typing room at lunch today. So I went to oval with Justine & Sara. She said to Anna on the bus (when I wasn’t paying attention) “Let’s go to typing again tomorrow.” I think it was a retaliation remark, to hurt me. /// Tim isn’t going on the camp. shucks!!
Fiona is still “shitty” with me. She did go to typing today, too. (When I walked Megan to her bus to say goodbye as per usual I asked her how it was – typing – and she went …. i.e. she found it BORING!!) OHH… Also: dunno if I’ll get to go to Mulgrave. Only 40 people can go, and as I only got my form & money in today, I think I’ve pretty well missed out. (See today was a bad day. First I forget my lunch and camp & excursion forms – so ring mum to bring them. then I miss mum so Mr Roff, personally, walks thru’ YR 10 parade to give my lunch etc to me. [ANY connection to the Principal was socially debilitating.] SHAME! then in English I fall (backwards) off my chair!!! BAD LUCK, HUH?!!) Anyhow, as I wrote “Mulgrave Camp only” on my form, it means if I do miss out, I won’t go at all. S’pose that won’t matter cos then I can stay (at skool) & drool over Tim as per usual!!
[UH-OH…] Distressing news: Tim is crazy over Adrienne P. I knew it. Tina, Erica & Fran talked about it in art. They said if it wasn’t for John, Adrienne would go around with Tim. OH SHIT! Wish I was more outgoing. Fiona still shitty but not as much as before, cos in History, tried to tell her how I’ve changed (she didn’t really like that.) They’re going to CHSS Fete tomorrow. I’m not. Going to work & stay at Dad’s the night. (Jaqui & Anthony won’t be there.) Thinking this arvy how (god I’m ashamed to say this) it would be good to have Shane S. as a “best” friend. Could go to park on Fri’s & talk or something. Stupid, huh?!! But it’d surely be different from a girl friend. (Couldn’t tell as much) Tonite played Trivial Pursuit. Back is sore. Am bugared!! Late nite 12:15
Woke early today, shit!! But “slept” in and dad came early. Rushed (& forgot diary & undies & bras!) Anyhow, at work, did a poster for Dad’s “mystery cruise”, next Saturday night (A.O.) [meaning Adults Only] on the “Cougar out to Michalmus Cay (or is it?) HA HA!! Anyhow did more work. Got $24, but dad’ll bank half for me. Went home but mum wasn’t there, so couldn’t get underwear. Went to Penwardens. Was abit boring. Got hay fever from cat. Practically no diet today – hot dog banana fritter, chinese dinner, caramel tart, pavlova, lemon mousse. Talkabout breaking a diet!! Jaqui & Anthony didn’t go camping. She is still out now (it’s 1:30.) We’re going to bed. Gonna watch “The Day After” about the day after a nuclear bomb. or will I?? See how I feel
Jacqui didn’t come home (when we woke at 9:30) the outside light was still on. We went home at lunchtime. I wasted the afternoon I should have been doing my poetry assignment. God I’m a shit of a dickhead. Ate again today had fruit loops 4 brekky at dad’s (& ate crumbs from caramel tart) & had a “frenzy” icecream (Like Sly cones) Did a bitta HW, before. Wrote a list of things I’ll want for my camp & 4 summer. $300 approx total. God!! huh?!! Am gonna watch the DAY AFTER. Well I might to go to bed ½ way thru. Am tired!!