periods – Page 2 – A Life in Words

New White Sandshoes & Exams, Oh Exams (18-24 November)

Published on November 18, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 18/11/85

My throat isn’t too bad, now Just a lot of snot (not a runny nose – just full of snot. [That would be…solid opaque chunks I gather? As opposed to clear liquid? Nothing like a little detail!] Tania P. helped me understand how to do my Novel assignment so I have done ¾ of that tonight, as well as highlighting important points for my Shakespeare & Poetry Exams. Also started revising Astronomy in Science. Although is 10:30, feel as if I have achieved something tonight. Slept badly last nite. Woke at 3:30 this morning. Could not get to sleep again, once cos’ of my throat, so got up & started writing out history essay. Got some sandshoes this arvy, too. Gonna wear them to skool every day left this year. Also – is confirmed definitely yr10’s going to Green Island (so are CHS, & the St’s schools) was BROILING today [in?] general assembly.

Tuesday 19/11/85

It is now – oh – haven’t got my watch on. Anyway’s about 11:15. Can’t do my english (Shakespeare) won’t pass it. Definite fail. Have only done 1½ pages & it’s mostly plagarized Who cares?? (me, of course) Had german listening test – fail for certain, I’m sure! My new white sandshoes are very bright. Everyone (well, only Harry & Lucy) tried to dull them by standing on them. SHIITS!! Am no too tired will be in the morning tho. I hafta get up early. Study BP. Finish writing out History & English assign. (they’re due), then learn my crappy Shakespeare SHIT

Wednesday 20/11/85

10:30 now. Not as bad as last nite. Got my 2 History’s & 1 english handed in. I think I failed my BP exam. I didn’t look once (oh, well once) at my book. But english Shakespeare on the other hand I was pleased with. Although I hadn’t learnt it off by heart, I remembered almost everything & it even took 2 pages instead of the 1¼ I had done last night & I even left some things out & was only writing medium size HOPE I get a good mark after all that!! Worried about other english exams now. + science + german. Got 17/20 for my B.P assignment (½) only for presentation. Studied science tonite. Hope I do well in that, no in EVERYTHING!!

Thursday 21/11/85

A Life in Words — Aussie poet Judith Wright

Now 10:34. I am bugared. Got animal farm started this arvy cos’ did my Judith Wright in spare periods today (when I should have done German) but I think I’lll at least pass it – it was that hard. Reading part (worth more) was easiest. So in animal farm am gonna wake early to finish writing it out. Then must learn it a little & Judith Wright. then finish learning science. I feel I know all the content questions I just must keep a level head. Nana & Ruth coming around a lot lately. Anyway – going to ‘Verandah’s’ Restaurant for tea tomorrow night. [Verandah’s Restaurant was one of the top local restaurants back in the day. Although this visit was with my mum and her boyfriend, my dad had a business relationship with the owner so we often went there with him & my stepmother for the ‘special occasions’ like birthdays] I am tired. Think I will go to CHS – I must do something Different. Too dependant on this school.

Friday 22/11/85

Have not yet got my periods. that means Ill have ’em at Green Island. POOP! (unless I skip 1 or they come very late – cos’ they already are now.) [My handwriting becomes huge and messier from this point in this day’s entry. It doesn’t seem to relate to excessive emotion, at first…] Science – oh well – I’ll pass it. I suppose and english poetry I mucked up, but Animal Farm was good. Got 21 [here I cannot decipher what the hell I scrawled] 22 for my foreign policy History assignment Mr Van said. UNREAL!! Went to “Verandah’s” Restaurant for dinner: Felt sick. Did a shit & lots of farts. [hmm, pleasant.] Ate a lot especially, throughout the day. Am BOILED. Am shitty cos’ hafta stay at dad’s on weekend. Complained to mum & now Geoff’s shitty with me. Dickhead. am tired is 11:05

Saturday 23/11/85

Mum left for Yungaburra at about 2:30. I spend the day, not really studying much, but mucking about. I did do some study – but I have quite a bit more to do yet. Looks like I won’t get history done much, if, at all! Dad came at 5:30, spent the time watching TV, wanted an early nite but late dinner [my stepmother & father have always eaten late. Their standard mealtime is anywhere between 8 and 930pm] & shower & had to wash & dry up – Anthony washed so got to bed late. Hold on, my watch is in the kitchen…[assuming I went to get it]..is 11:02. So I must sleep in, at least a bit. Must study hard in maths & a little for history. Is hot. Have the fan on full bore!! In Jacki’s room. She moved out a while ago. Room is different now.

Sunday 24/11/85

Ended up not coming home until 4:00 or after (about 5:30) Did waste of time History today. Wasted the whole day. I am a little worried about History – but am having a major heart-attack about Maths. Will get up at 5:30 tomorrow & study like hell. Hope I do well…. I MUST do well. This is my last week at Smithfield. How sad. But I mustn’t become home-sick for it. I will make more friends at Cairns High. Haven’t got my periods yet. Hope I don’t get them Before Friday or goodbye Green Island!!! I don’t think I will (I’m hoping.) is HOT Heat is terrible. Am bugared.

Abandonment, Rejection & “Skin-Deep Crankiness” (7-13 October)

Published on October 7, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 7/10/85

I HATE SCHOOL Lucy’s definitely (100% sure) she’s going to boarding school next year. Megan (Anna’s friend’s) 100% sure she’s off to Sydney & FIONA is 99% sure she’s going to CAIRNS HIGH. [Uh-oh, abandonment issues] She says it’s because the subjects here are stupid. At Cairns High she wants to do German or Geography. She could easily do them here (I checked tonite) She went to the optometrist at lunchtime. Anna’s & Fi’s mum’s Birthdays today. Still Ratshit weather. Didn’t do any HW – xept science tonite. 8 weeks this semester for us – 10 for others. Kim wants to come on the Mulgrave Camp now. Hope she can get in & be put in my group. I need some ‘friend’. [Definite fear of the Unfamiliar. While I really enjoy my own company now, I have to admit there are things I still dislike doing on my own.]

Tuesday 8/10/85

Anna & Fiona rode today. Fiona said “Anna organised it.” and Anna said “I forgot all about you..” Nice, huh? So I minded the usual seat only to find no one got on. They never tell me anything so to get back at ‘them’ the only way I can, I’ll not tell them anything I do/get etc. [Oh the vengeance!] Kim isn’t in group 3 but she’s in the camp after all (group 1) Had another meeting today (unscheduled) to sort out menus “once and for all”. We’re buying as a group but I’m going to bring lots of my own stuff. Still haven’t got my periods. Mum said they delay when you worry, so I’m trying not to. [One of my earliest lessons about how Stress can affect you physically.] If I get them any later than Mon. I’m in trouble

Wednesday 9/10/85

Gord, this week’s going slow. Were gonna ride today (Anna, Fi & me) but Fi rang in the morning to say they were both too tired. I’m sick of school already. I want it to go fast. I wanna stay at dad’s this weekend, again – to work & also for the places to go out for Fun in the Sun events (Oktoberfest) [I was such a conflicted creature – so socially driven and yet painfully shy] He said I can work – but nothing about staying over. Mum’s at a National Trust Meeting. Geoff rang suddenly at 7:00 to tell her. Poor woman, she’s sick/ill. Did all HW today. Still haven’t started any assignments – I find it hard to work on them on weekdays, unless under pressure. Gosh I think I’ll get a bigger diary next year.

Thursday 10/10/85

Anna & Colleen are having a joint birthday party. Colleen’s inviting her friends – Fran, Nikki, Trudi etc & Anna’s inviting hers – Polly, Jemima, Fiona. Goes to show who she really likes doesn’t it? The worst thing is they’re trying to hide the fact that Fiona & Jemima are invited & I (and the others) aren’t. [Feeling a good deal of rejection this week All lending to my inferiority complex.] I think Lucy notices too. (She was being extremely nice to me on the bus.) Exams start on the 20th Nov. Break up on the 29th. Come back on the 5th Dec to get our Junior Certificates. Fiona was strangely↔acting today. Prob’ly shitty with me about something. Week is going still so slow. Wanna work & spend weekend at dad’s. I have soooo many assignments – not funny

Friday 11/10/85

Watched 2 TV movies tonight The first was a (sad) love story. BEAUTIFUL!! And the late one was a comedy – all right. Have now 2 History assignments, 2 english & a BP – (5) in all. SHIT! Drive me bonkers! Woke early this morning – slept badly last night – hot, woke every time I rolled over I think!! This morning when I left the house for school after Julia; I glanced over at the park and saw a tall, dark-haired figure walking across to Mark’s NEVILLE lives in Cassowary St now. OH no! I caught up to Julia, but she didn’t see him. On the bus, when we passed their stop (I had described him to her) she saw him and went ‘Err!’ & screwed up her face. Don’t blame her – he’s ugly. Also had my viewing/listening english test. Yuk mucked it up

Saturday 12/10/85

Feel not too tired, but there is crankiness lurking skin-deep. Dad came around 9:15. At work today did about 5¾hrs on & off + 49 drums so I got $35.25 Dad can’t afford to give me the money now (so he says) but he’ll have it to me “by Thurs or Fri..” There’a new electric typewriter at work, too. I couldn’t stop mucking ’round with it. FUN! But it tried tapping into it’s memory bank etc but very unsuccessfully. [Now what the hell would I have wanted to do that for?] At Dad’s just watched TV. The movie was good. Is about 10:45. We have to get up & make brekky so we can get to the Octoberfest early in the morning. Didn’t go tonite cos Dad & Jenny were too tired. I am too. I think I need some solid 8HRS sleep

Sunday 13/10/85

I’ve got THEM! Yes, I’m soooo relieved!! I thought I had no hope left – was even thinking to myself “skip one, skip one, skip…” but now all is well! GREAT!! Today was boring. At dad’s woke around 7:30-45 and had to make dad’s brekky at 8:30. Everyone (except me (& Jackie went to the shop – hideout’) worked in the garden, then Dad, Jenny & me drove down & had a swim at the beach (quickly) Went to Oktoberfest around 1:00. I ATE SO MUCH – 2 hotdogs & 2 pastries & 2 drinks (went home around 6:30) then had ¼ pie for tea [if I guess correctly, that’d be a quarter of a family sized meat pie] + choccy ice cream – VOMIT. [That doesn’t mean I actually did spew of course. I couldn’t be bulimic if I tried…and I did try at some stage but tickling my tonsils never resulted in a ‘solid rewards’. I had – and kinda still do have – an Iron Gut.] I’m gunna start rope skipping in the arvy’s to lose weight. At the Festival – hardly anyone there really boring – Jackie had to go in “PERFECT MATCH” and she won!! This fat (well not really) & ugly (YES!) guy of 20 yrs is her date to the Pacific International Hotel Restaurant POOR GIRL

Gross Girlie Stuff & the Cairns Show (15-21 July)

Published on July 15, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 15/7/85

Shitty day today. First I hear news that Fiona is going to the show with Jemima no – sorry – GREG. invited her. Upset over that – but, fiona wants me to come with them. (then I’d be left out – so I might just go with Justine instead – more fun 2 than with 7) Secondly. my period PES – gushed out (wearing only tampon) undies soaked. [Oh to be female. If you have a ‘weak stomach’ for these human biological functions, I recommend you quit reading here-now because this drama – its description & detail – comprises the rest of the days’ entry…and some!] pad in BP: 5th period – gushed out. At loos, took out tampon – old pad soaked put in loo paper. End big lunch – on my skirt (Jumper round my hips) More loo paper between 6th & 7th periods – pad after skool from office. At home – skirt covered in blood. Lucky had a jumper. Am stuffed

Tuesday 16/7/85

I can’t believe how heavy my periods are. I wore one of mum‘s tampons today (longer & thicker) & that wore out about only 3hrs later! Went thru 3 tampons & 3 pads & still my pants were stained – today was lucky my skirt didn’t. Riding tomorrow. Won’t take my jumper cos’ weather’s getting warmer, however if I do leak – nothing to hide it. Shit. Cross fingers!! Wot about in Summer – when I can’t take a jumper anyway? OH NO!! [Fortunately this entire experience was the worst I’ve ever suffered, at least as far as I can recall now. Many women endure much worse on a regular basis throughout their lives so I am very grateful.] Going with Justine to show. Try not to meet Lucy. Also don’t wanna stay near Fi etc too long (don’t wanna have to drool over Steven) also cos this arvy (at Lucy’s new flat in Springfield Estate!!) Jemima didn’t seem too friendly. OH well. I can’t help it.

Wednesday 17/7/85

Nana bought round a choice of books by those authors Mr Van Slooten gave us & I took two (one’s whose titles he had mentioned, I think.) I have now actually started on book! Am gonna read for a little while now cos’ I’m up to ch.9 (there’s only 5 to go!) Didn’t get much HW done. Riding – my hands were numb – red raw & frozen. Next time I’ll wear gloves. Not joking. [Well, nothing’s changed – seems I’ve always had poor circulation. My hands and feet are always icy, just ask the clients I train in winter!] Am tired – cranky. Periods easing now – think for show I’ll only need a tampon – mum’s just in case. I’m confused about who I have a crush on – I say not Tim but ? when I see him, I’m not so sure. Now I haven’t seen Steven, I’m not so sure – but one thing: I’m still jealous of Anna (& Fi cos’ I don’t want her to go with Greg again) [So obvious to me now that it had little to do with the boys – it was simply that I didn’t want to be alone.]

Thursday 18/7/85

Today went slow. Didn’t find out whether Tim is going tomorrow or not, but Julia said she saw Melissa C & Tia tonight. I’m sick already (probably with excitement) but I hope I’m not going to be on the rides tomorrow. [Not much of a daredevil, it took me a few years – and my Dad – to get me on my first ‘big-person’s’ show ride, and my innards were sometimes too eager to react to the forces of motion. In your teens, when the event’s social aspect becomes even more significant, the last thing you want is to be green around the gills…] I want to meet lots of people. I bought some new nail polish (bright red to go with my outfit) & some mousse (to do something with my lifeless hair.) Also wanna get some chapstick (lip protector) My “Bonne Bell” is run out & Julia said it was cold here so imagine the wind on the rides!!

Friday 19/7/85

[the original diary had printed “Katherine Show Day” on this date and I wrote next to it:] & Cairns!! [Excited much?]

Today I can’t remember much what happened except that I didn’t do very much HW, I went to Lucy’s (to tell her where we’d meet her – but she kept me there for over an hour.) & in my exceptionally good timetable for preparing for the show I ran out of time & got upset & cranky – but everything worked out OK.. [Another wonderful aspect of OCD – driven by pure excitement of course – that I thankfully grew out of before I left school: writing up ‘toilette schedules’ for big social events… which invariably always went awry.] show was alright. Not the best I’ve been to. Did meet Lucy (were late so she was shitty) Went on heapsa rides – chipmunk!! yep! 3 times!! I love it!! [The Chipmunk was the only roller coaster ride at the Cairns Show. I am guessing, from the way I have reported it, that this was the first year I’d had the courage to give it a go. Evidently a winner!] Saw Tina, Gordan C & many others. Met steven, anna etc. felt terrible – could see Steven practically spewing over Lucy!! Want to apologize to him. [It’s funny how I used to – and perhaps sometimes still do – tend to ‘take blame’ for things that are out of my control. In this instance I’d say it all boiled down to me badly wanting to impress Steven, and ‘failing’ because all ‘I’ brought him was discomfort. What a warped sense of responsibility!] Ate a bit. Tim wasn’t there (I confessed to Justine – she thinks he’s got the ‘hots’ for Melissa C.) OHH! NOO!!

Saturday 20/7/85

Bugared! Got to sleep ’bout 1:00. Woke 8:00 today. Read my book. In fact read it most of the day. Is a twisted book – story good but presentation twisted. [I’d LOVE to know what it was so I could re-read it now.] Did all other HW except main ones – English & Maths. Study 4 maths & do english essay tomorrow (have to write an essay under EXAM CONDITIONS) My nose is blocked – sneezy & my left ear is blocked. Also had a brief dizzy spell after bath. Hope I don’t have the dreaded flu that’s already killed 26 people nationally.. [I’m not certain what kind of flu this was, and have tried Googling it. Bird flu was recorded in Victoria in 1985 but there was no mention of human deaths as a result.]

Sunday 21/7/85

Supposed to write my english essay today & study for maths test. However, when I awoke, I decided to complete reading my book as I only had 5 Ch’s left. Took me until 2:00. So then I attempted my essay. Began writing about the thoughts of a fat girl, [potentially autobiographical in nature no doubt, since my body image was poor] but hated it, so got upset cause couldn’t think what to write about. Mum took me out & we got a sly cone. At home time passed & I got more upset. Decided finally at 4:30 to do about an ocker [meaning “stereotypically Australian” for those who are unacquainted with our national slang] BBQ. Have notes but must write the essay & learn off by ♥. Also have yet to study maths → SO MUCH work!