work – Page 3 – A Life in Words

Slaving for Christmas & Party Fever (2-8 December)

Published on December 2, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 2/12/85

Only Astia, Lucy & I went to the movies, but Shane, Wade, Ian & Karl came late. I just caught the 2:00 bus home (missed out on about 5 mins of Back to the Future ending) & Crabbe was on it. Got off at Stratty to go to Justine’s! Appointment with Mr McKenzie at CHS was alright – dragged on cos’ we were admitted late & he talked & talked & talked & talked….. Got to the party at about 4:35. Was alright. I like Crabbe, too!! He says nice things about me. [I recall him calling me something like a little Dutch girl because of my complexion: looking Scandinavian is complimentary in my books. I also remember him telling me that orange suited me, when I happened to be wearing an outfit of said colour.] Mima & Ben (especially Ben) looked bored. But they ‘supposedly’ hit it off during the video ‘Revenge of the Nerds. I’m still not 100% sure he’s as flipped over her & she is over him but maybe That’s his way of showing it! Crabbe is nice Richard’s alright but no interest in me. won’t even answer a comment I might make. Actually, am a bit jealous of mima. Dunno why. GOTTA have more parties. [And the (social) butterfly begins to emerge from its cocoon…it is a very very slow unfurling however, thanks to a lack of confidence…that has spanned decades.]

Tuesday 3/12/85

IT IS HOT SOOOO BOILING. HOT. [This little rant here looked so impressive in my original diary that I had to take a photo so you could witness the temper. Hilarious!] Wasted day. Went into work.- did NOTHING. Couldn’t get motivated- didn’t feel like it. Just sat around listening to the radio. Came home around 3:00 Ate heaps today (am ashamed) Art course meeting was short only about 1hr. Many people weren’t there e.g.: Neville ←he’s the only boy in the course, too! Skinted!! Still, he’ll probably enjoy it. Elisia’s in. I met 2 other girls from TAS, too – both of whom I recognise. Early night tonight. Am going to work tomorrow. Need $40 $20 for mum & dad (payback) & $20 foundation for Xmas prezzy supplies. Typed a letter to mim (formal!) asking her help in holding a party at Waterworks. I’ll let her set the date & guests, cos’ I made it a party for her & Ben. Hope she does. I love parties. IS HOT. Will post it tomorrow. [Obvious example of ulterior motive here. Too shy/lacking in confidence to go out & get what I want for myself (a party), I created a reason to attract someone to ‘help’ me because it will appear to benefit her. Inadvertant reverse psychology?]

Wednesday 4/12/85

Not too hot today. Mostly overcast. Worked well. Got 125 drums cleaned ($31.25) in 9:00-1:15 After lunch, did (1:45-5:30) 3hrs 45 mins labelling (easy stuff – done in the office – the air conditioning used the electric typewriter & made up all these labels for shampoo [I’m thinking that’s carpet shampoo. Can’t recall dad producing beauty products]. Also did other odd jobs. So total was $46.25, but I have to give dad $10 (I owe him that much) + $10 to mum (I owe her too). [Haha, cute. I – like most children in the world – owe my parents far more than a measly $10] Tomorrow, have to earn at least $45. Hope there’s enough work. I also want to work on Saturday. I hope there’s enough work!! Riding to Smithy on Friday. Hope Fi & mim haven’t forgotten I’m coming too. Sent that party letter to mim this morning. Early nite

Thursday 5/12/85

HOT! HOT! HOT! I hate tit!! [Yes, I had actually written ‘tit’. That is not a typo.] I earned $31.75 today. I have only $32 left to earn on Saturday now, before I get a round $100. Came home a few hours earlier today. GREAT NEWS!! There’s a party at Erica’s on Friday night! 7-12. See, mum’s going out & we’re supposed to stay at dad’s. Beka also wanted a lift so, at 1:30 we’ll ride to school, get our certificates, ride back & Beka’ll stay at my place the arvy (getting ready) & dad can take us to the party & drop Beek off after it. Also, mum said she found some pretty good clothes at that 2nd clothing shop, so I might get some rags ‘n’ fix ’em up for a party outfit!! [By ‘rags’ I mean decent pieces of clothing I could cut up and re-fashion, without sewing of course. Raw edges were in for awhile in the 80’s….lucky, lazy me.] Can’t wait. ‘S unreal. Pretty early nite. (Gonna need it)

Friday 6/12/85

Walked round abit with mum. (She had places to go.) She bought 2 dresses from a 2nd Hand shop (I couldn’t find anything worth cutting up) so whipped across and bought a yellow ‘n’ white striped shirt from Rockman’s. Is very bright. That letter I was typing to Fi, ended in a rush, just before Dad took Beka & me to the party. Prior to that, Beka, Lucy, Justine, me & Sharon rode to school & got our JUNIOR CERTIFICATES. Am happy with it …. is pretty good. I coulda done betta if I’d tried harder over the years. Took our bikes back on the bus (too tired to ride home) The party was…. ‘good’. It wasn’t as good as Lucy’s & our ‘form’ one. Remember David L? He was there and I think he likes me. Kept looking & following me (discreetly) around. Richard & Ben were there, too. Mim came late. At Dad’s now. Am tired. Forgot my plate! [This refers to my orthodontic plate, which I am assuming by this time I am only wearing at night, because I certainly was not still wearing it during daylight hours when I started at Cairns High…]

Saturday 7/12/85

Got my periods, finally!! And also my very first period pains. Jeezus are they BAD. Agony!! Fi got her letter last nite. I wonder wot she thought of it. At work, earned $15. Not much, but I was cranky & lazy with those pains. Julia & Jenny did some cleaning out & found some old stuff. Jules picked up a pr. of floral, flanell PJ’s & I got Anthony’s old Mickey Mouse watch! Is good (ticks loud enough!) Left my (bloody) knickers, white singlet & beach towel at dad’s. Oh well. Watched the movie. Am bugared now. Have a breakout along my hairline, on my forehead. Yukky!! Feels funny – the atmosphere. Doesn’t feel “Homely”.

Sunday 8/12/85

Am tired. Have decided to grow my hair shoulder-length, as long-hair is back in fashion. [Judging by the photo above – at Justine’s party – it’s pretty clear to me that shoulder length hair would not take very long to grow at all.] I wish I could grow it really long & get it permed; but it wouldn’t stay in. [Ah the bloody 80’s obsession with perms!] Today we put up Chrissy decorations (& the tree) Wanted to make some, but ended up not. Got December Dolly & after doing some “word-find” puzzles, read it til Countdown (& watched the movie, too.) That’s why I’m tired: went in to Dunphy’s newsagency to buy more decorations. Mrs D didn’t seem too happy. No good ’86 diaries in their shop. That’s what I need one of them/these. [“Them/these” being a very small – say A8 sized – day to a page Collins diary. While I often spilled over onto successive days’ pages, I have learnt over the years that a bigger diary means more writing, means more time, means less enthusiasm for the act of journaling. I still find it hard to obtain diaries that suit my needs. I’ve just bought one online for the first time ever because I simply couldn’t find anything suitable in the shops. Sorry Retail Industry, but you’re making it hard for me to support you.] Gonna work tomorrow. Earn, at least, $27. Should be easy enough. Then I can buy prezzies

Abandonment, Rejection & “Skin-Deep Crankiness” (7-13 October)

Published on October 7, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 7/10/85

I HATE SCHOOL Lucy’s definitely (100% sure) she’s going to boarding school next year. Megan (Anna’s friend’s) 100% sure she’s off to Sydney & FIONA is 99% sure she’s going to CAIRNS HIGH. [Uh-oh, abandonment issues] She says it’s because the subjects here are stupid. At Cairns High she wants to do German or Geography. She could easily do them here (I checked tonite) She went to the optometrist at lunchtime. Anna’s & Fi’s mum’s Birthdays today. Still Ratshit weather. Didn’t do any HW – xept science tonite. 8 weeks this semester for us – 10 for others. Kim wants to come on the Mulgrave Camp now. Hope she can get in & be put in my group. I need some ‘friend’. [Definite fear of the Unfamiliar. While I really enjoy my own company now, I have to admit there are things I still dislike doing on my own.]

Tuesday 8/10/85

Anna & Fiona rode today. Fiona said “Anna organised it.” and Anna said “I forgot all about you..” Nice, huh? So I minded the usual seat only to find no one got on. They never tell me anything so to get back at ‘them’ the only way I can, I’ll not tell them anything I do/get etc. [Oh the vengeance!] Kim isn’t in group 3 but she’s in the camp after all (group 1) Had another meeting today (unscheduled) to sort out menus “once and for all”. We’re buying as a group but I’m going to bring lots of my own stuff. Still haven’t got my periods. Mum said they delay when you worry, so I’m trying not to. [One of my earliest lessons about how Stress can affect you physically.] If I get them any later than Mon. I’m in trouble

Wednesday 9/10/85

Gord, this week’s going slow. Were gonna ride today (Anna, Fi & me) but Fi rang in the morning to say they were both too tired. I’m sick of school already. I want it to go fast. I wanna stay at dad’s this weekend, again – to work & also for the places to go out for Fun in the Sun events (Oktoberfest) [I was such a conflicted creature – so socially driven and yet painfully shy] He said I can work – but nothing about staying over. Mum’s at a National Trust Meeting. Geoff rang suddenly at 7:00 to tell her. Poor woman, she’s sick/ill. Did all HW today. Still haven’t started any assignments – I find it hard to work on them on weekdays, unless under pressure. Gosh I think I’ll get a bigger diary next year.

Thursday 10/10/85

Anna & Colleen are having a joint birthday party. Colleen’s inviting her friends – Fran, Nikki, Trudi etc & Anna’s inviting hers – Polly, Jemima, Fiona. Goes to show who she really likes doesn’t it? The worst thing is they’re trying to hide the fact that Fiona & Jemima are invited & I (and the others) aren’t. [Feeling a good deal of rejection this week All lending to my inferiority complex.] I think Lucy notices too. (She was being extremely nice to me on the bus.) Exams start on the 20th Nov. Break up on the 29th. Come back on the 5th Dec to get our Junior Certificates. Fiona was strangely↔acting today. Prob’ly shitty with me about something. Week is going still so slow. Wanna work & spend weekend at dad’s. I have soooo many assignments – not funny

Friday 11/10/85

Watched 2 TV movies tonight The first was a (sad) love story. BEAUTIFUL!! And the late one was a comedy – all right. Have now 2 History assignments, 2 english & a BP – (5) in all. SHIT! Drive me bonkers! Woke early this morning – slept badly last night – hot, woke every time I rolled over I think!! This morning when I left the house for school after Julia; I glanced over at the park and saw a tall, dark-haired figure walking across to Mark’s NEVILLE lives in Cassowary St now. OH no! I caught up to Julia, but she didn’t see him. On the bus, when we passed their stop (I had described him to her) she saw him and went ‘Err!’ & screwed up her face. Don’t blame her – he’s ugly. Also had my viewing/listening english test. Yuk mucked it up

Saturday 12/10/85

Feel not too tired, but there is crankiness lurking skin-deep. Dad came around 9:15. At work today did about 5¾hrs on & off + 49 drums so I got $35.25 Dad can’t afford to give me the money now (so he says) but he’ll have it to me “by Thurs or Fri..” There’a new electric typewriter at work, too. I couldn’t stop mucking ’round with it. FUN! But it tried tapping into it’s memory bank etc but very unsuccessfully. [Now what the hell would I have wanted to do that for?] At Dad’s just watched TV. The movie was good. Is about 10:45. We have to get up & make brekky so we can get to the Octoberfest early in the morning. Didn’t go tonite cos Dad & Jenny were too tired. I am too. I think I need some solid 8HRS sleep

Sunday 13/10/85

I’ve got THEM! Yes, I’m soooo relieved!! I thought I had no hope left – was even thinking to myself “skip one, skip one, skip…” but now all is well! GREAT!! Today was boring. At dad’s woke around 7:30-45 and had to make dad’s brekky at 8:30. Everyone (except me (& Jackie went to the shop – hideout’) worked in the garden, then Dad, Jenny & me drove down & had a swim at the beach (quickly) Went to Oktoberfest around 1:00. I ATE SO MUCH – 2 hotdogs & 2 pastries & 2 drinks (went home around 6:30) then had ¼ pie for tea [if I guess correctly, that’d be a quarter of a family sized meat pie] + choccy ice cream – VOMIT. [That doesn’t mean I actually did spew of course. I couldn’t be bulimic if I tried…and I did try at some stage but tickling my tonsils never resulted in a ‘solid rewards’. I had – and kinda still do have – an Iron Gut.] I’m gunna start rope skipping in the arvy’s to lose weight. At the Festival – hardly anyone there really boring – Jackie had to go in “PERFECT MATCH” and she won!! This fat (well not really) & ugly (YES!) guy of 20 yrs is her date to the Pacific International Hotel Restaurant POOR GIRL

INXS, Puff Paints & An Old Wives’ Tale (23-29 September)

Published on September 23, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 23/9/85

Got to work late started labelling at 9:45. Worked most of day Earned $33.50. Getting the INXS ticket tomorrow!! will be great! Rang Jemima: We’re taking her (Oh! & Fiona after all) sorry, them in & they’re taking me home. Justine rang. I think she understood I hope. I feel bad in a way. Stayed up late to watch the good Monday night shows. Is 11:30 now. Am tired. Can’t think of anything else so Nite Nite!

Tuesday 24/9/85

INXS was great!! NO – TOPS. Reels were stupid. But INXS were brilliant. Played all or most songs – minus “Original Sin” + new ones too. Got right up the front again. My ears are ringing now – they’re not so deaf anymore. My legs & back were so sore. Polly’s boyfriends friends Adam G (y’know him) & Benji & others. Benji was NICE! Think he liked me – probly me imagination. Today just wrote out ’84 diary between watching TV, fooling with Julia and (of course) eating. Is now 11:15 & I am tired. Got to line [queue for the concert] at 4:00! Got in a 5:40 But were very near front of cue (Mima was 3rd to get it!) Mmm, yes – Benji was nice. (Polly tried to set him up with – Anna likes him.) But he’s YR9 → I think.

Wednesday 25/9/85

My left ear is still ringing!!! Woke up & right one was clear but left was blocked & ringing. Has unblocked but is still ringing. Wonder how that happens? Scientifically, I mean. Will ask Mr Howard at school. [If I did ask him, I have forgotten what the answer was. But a quick Google search just now reveals that, basically, the ‘stereocilia’ (within the cochlea) become damaged and mistakenly continue sending sound information to auditory nerve cells.] Rang Jenny. there’s NO work for me, so I’m going to town on Friday (because) we’re going to mission beach on Mon, Tues & Wed & mum’s b’Day is on Tues.) & will walk to work & borrow some money off dad [for Mum’s birthday present]. Mima & Fi are coming (I think.) Rang them & they’re both quite sure. Mum’s at National Trust Meeting. Watched TV today & wrote out 1984 diary & ate & ate …. Mum got me some puff paints for Tshirts. Are terrific!! Also mum went for a job interview. Was turned down but the (nice) guy said she had all the talents & qualifications to do it. OH WELL!

Thursday 26/9/85

Mima’s not coming to town (But Fi still is.) she has to go to the block at Tinnaburra. Too bad. Anyhow, I asked her if (or mentioned that) she’d set up a date for a day to Green Is or something. Said that’d be fine. But now we’re not going to Mission Beach till Thurs cos’ geoff has to go away. Everything is so rushed. (Today I did like I normally do – ate, watched TV but didn’t continue rewriting my ’84 diary,and lazed around – getting fat. Mucked around with make up too. That was fun.) Played Trivial Pursuit. I got fed up with all the hard Q’s I got when Geoff, Mum & Julia got easy ones, so I left – Julia took my place. [Sook!] Geoff won. I’m tired – hafta catch the 9:00 so nite, nite!

Friday 27/9/85

Am buggered! In town, I got $50 from dad [for mum’s birthday present] & he said to get something from him so in town I dragged Fi around – not knowing what to get at all. So I eventually got a $30 voucher from sussans, and a bread knife from me, & a wooden bead necklace from Sportsgirl & a $7 voucher for Robyn’s. Hope she likes it. [The bread knife gift has an unpleasant parallel memory for me. It was only about four years ago Mum asked me, as she always did, what I wanted for my birthday or for christmas. The majority of the time I had no idea what to tell her, but this particular time I had in mind “a really good, sharp, proper kitchen knife”. When the gift giving time came, she just handed me some money, explaining an “old wives’ tale” about gifting knives: something along the lines of giving a knife can sever the relationship between the two people involved. I don’t recall her being overly superstitious but I think she grew ‘conscious’ of things such as this the older she got. She definitely ‘softened’ with age; she began to get teary when dropping me off at the airport.] At home (we caught a lift with mum) I lazed around. Suddenly overcome with fatigue. Watched TV. Made or have started to make a notice board from cardboard box. Went to Di & Kerry’s for drinks to give Trent his prezzy. Ate so much junk today too.

Saturday 28/9/85

Just been to a BBQ party. Was little boring & quite cold. Mum had a jumper lucky devil. Funny conversations! Some (one) spunky guy there – bit old for me tho’. Looked about 19 or 20. Smokes & drinks. Today, spent most finishing off the ’84 diary. Got it finished just as we were leaving for BBQ. Also made the notice board from cardboard (box). Painted it today – but I’ll need to put thin white card/paper over it cos you can see all the bend marks, etc. Woke early but made myself sleep in. Is about 12:20 now. Am not tired but I s’pose once the light goes out, I’ll go “out”!

Sunday 29/9/85

Guess what? My periods are due the day we leave for Mission beach – Wednesday. Great, uh? Finished totally my ’84 diary & burnt the original. Also, with my notice-board I stuck white (thin) cardboard over the top. Still want to put black (or some coloured) trimmings on it before hanging it up. ← Dunno how I’ll do that yet, either. Haven’t got any pins for it either. OH well… Watched a bit of TV. Am a little sick. Have sore throat, feel tight chested – thick mucus wall up my throat. Voice is affected. Mum thinks Larangitus. probably. worst in nite-time & mornings. I squeezed 4 or 5 oranges for my throat this morning. Ate quite little no snacks besides 3 choccy biccys & a frenzy cone for arvy tea. Is 10:30. I’ll go to sleep now.

Sinus, Class Photos & Lip Gloss (2-8 September)

Published on September 2, 2013 by Elissa Coxen2 Comments

Monday 2/9/85

Can’t wait for camp. Uh…yes I can … I still have lotsa weight to lose & a tan (an even tan) to get. I asked Fran about Adrienne McA – she thinks she’s in group 3. Anyhow, was warm today, went quickly (the day I mean.) Didn’t do much HW ie, did HW but didn’t study etc. Should start soon. Late night. 10:30 now. Watched “Clive James – At home.” the equivalent to Mike Walsh. Is funny!! Cold, now too. Want to sleep well. Mum’s not going to send that letter (good.) she feels better, just for writing it. Hopes it’ll blow over. [This is a good and yet a not-so-good thing. Avoiding unnecessary drama is definitely positive but ‘hoping’ something will ‘blow over’ is almost asking for trouble in the future. This is the perfect example of how my sister and I were (unconsciously) conditioned to become non-confrontational.] Cold is still bugging me → mum thinks it’s sinus. Probably. German dinner on 17th Sept. (Tuesday) AT Alpine Chalet. FUN!!

Tuesday 3/9/85

Gosh today went quick!! School photos – stupid!! The wind was blowing everyone’s hair back from their faces (- I took my plate out, of course!) which looked ridiculous & ugly! [Because it’s so attractive to have hair ON your face? I think what might have upset me more when I actually got this photo was the way the wind billowed my blouse, making me look either too buxom or worse; fat.] Laughed alot today (feel good for that.) also got my periods. Is supposed to be 11º C tonight – was cold last night (just as well I took that blanket to bed!) I’m all bundled up tonight! Am tired. Is 10:30. Watched new mini-series “Princess Daisy” is good I think. Last part next week. Fiona’s ringing me tomorrow to tell me if she feels like riding or not. Don’t know even if I’ll feel like it

Wednesday 4/9/85

Went to doctors. Dr D. prescribed some $15 drug in a spray pack for my nose. [‘Beconase’ was the corticosteroidal nasal spray I was prescribed. I have rather unpleasant memories of tasting it as the excess slid down the back of my throat from my nasal cavities.] Anytime I feel allergies etc It clams me up more. Even plain ole’ Drixine works betta, but he said it’d take more than a day so I s’pose I betta try it. My nose is so sore from blowing, & sticking nasal sprays up it. Poor me. Couldn’t start study cos’ I went to the doctor’s. Will 2morrow if possible. is supposed to be cold again tonight. Really want to save lotsa money, cos’ I got a big list. (Eg I wanna get me a swatch, mum one (for her birthday) & also a clothing gift voucher for her.) Ha!

Thursday 5/9/85

Still didn’t start study for maths. I didn’t know I was such a procrastinater!! I must do it & start soon. Ate alot today. Well, not a lot, but more than just 3 meals. See, nana came round & brought a small bun loaf which had icing & sparkles on it & I ….had….3 pieces. UMAH. So instead of studying I went to the park to try’n’work it off. Neck sore today. has been quite lately. In History it ached cos’ an Aboriginal man (58 yrs old & not one wrinkle) talked to us about life in a mission. [I believe what I would have meant is that I had to crane my neck to see the speaker from whatever position I had in the classroom.] He was a reasonable, great bloke. A caring man. Not like nowaday coons. [Obviously, a shocking sentiment. The slang is bad enough, but the whole sentence screams Racism. The explanation for this statement – which by no means excuses it – is very complex. It was a generalisation, referring to the (alcoholic) Park People, which was all I had witnessed firsthand of Aboriginals in Cairns – apart from fellow students with whom I had no qualms whatsoever. This is clearly a statement founded upon Fear. For now, please remember this was nearly 30 years ago and that kind of attitude was long ago exchanged for Compassion.]

Friday 6/9/85

Glad it’s Friday. Went to town tonight & bought (roll-on) lip gloss – finally – & “coconut” deep tanning lotion. [The old coconut oil tanning lotion! Smelled divine, but as for sun protection? Hahaha.] Hardly anyone in town, let alone anyone we knew. Saw Karen M. & Tania P. at work. Didn’t see Steven. Bus was late to today. Came at 3:30, so got home at 3:50. Normally get home at 3:40. Stupid driver. Bludge day today. I must start study this week end. It will be work, work, work all the time. Full day’s work tomorrow, dad said & then on Sunday – study, HW & english (& other) assignment(s) Is cold again. Wind is up & it rained tonight. Looks like wet has set in.

Saturday 7/9/85

Worked literally all day today:- 6¼hrs labelling + 54 drums cleaned gave me $38.50 but dad thought I was so dilligent that he made it a round $40! Was hard work – back, hand and arm muscles were strained. Dad’s renovating his office – will look or-right! He wanted it finished today, but Jenny drove me home at 6:45 & didn’t look near that! Got home & Geoff & his mum were here. Had tea (dinner) (& 2 helpings of dessert) Watched TV. & the 2 movies that were on tonight. Both comedys. Alright. 2nd one was better. Weather was changeable – sunny/rainy but always windy. Mums going to Port tomorrow. Julia & I’ll stay home. I have to study.

Sunday 8/9/85

Got HW done & revised all maths Ch’s. Mind you – it took all day & I didn’t get to study german or even start my english assignment (due Tues.) so it wasn’t that “profitable” a day. Put on make up in between. [Ah! So you didn’t study solidly?!] Love the lip gloss I’ve got! I just keep using it. At this rate I’ll run out!! (very soon) Weather is still windy, overcast & sometimes rains. Am starting to snack again. Must control myself. Filled week this week: 2 maths test, assignment due & german test. Shit. Mum & Geoff & Mrs M. got home 5:50. Played Triv. Pursuit (my wanting to) but I pulled out first Is now 9:30. Must sleep well.