My Diary – Page 7 – A Life in Words

Army Shorts & Camp Food (30 January)

Published on January 30, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Friday 30/1/87

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. IT IS HOT. I can’t stand this heat much longer. I am going to have an air-conditioned house, for SURE when I’m older. [Hmmm, nope. Not yet. And I’m fairly sure I’ve changed my mind about that.] Today was good indeed, Apart from the frigging heat. Mum dropped me at Monique’s early. It took us about 15-20mins to get to school & even then we were boiling. [I’m assuming we rode our bikes from her place. Why you would do that in the very heat you are complaining about is beyond me?] Mark came late. Talked a fair bit. Esp. big lunch – his dad drove in to give him my letter. Can you believe it? And he showed Duane and Brent. Wonderful. SHAME!! [Well… you did show his to your friend/s… fair’s fair.] It’s almost 9:30. After school, whipped in to get army shorts & home (took ages!). Tent wasn’t here ..Dad said he’s bringing it tomorrow – wouldn’t let mum take it BASTARD. [I can’t figure why he’s a ‘bastard’ for this. Unless it was because I’d made my mind up that it had to be there TODAY and he simply messed up my ‘plan’?] So about 6:15 we went to town. talked to mima. Did shopping at Coles ($63-shit!) [That’s under $13 worth for each of us. Ah, if only food was still that cheap…] Didn’t see Mark’s lot – Glynn said they were at Woolies [privacy omission]. Umah. Cameron even talked to me today in chem. [Privacy omission] Oh dear. Such nasty boys.. Mark paid a lot more attention to me after getting that letter. Wunda why?

And the scrapbook entry for this day:

MONIQUE & I, the fitness freaks (HA, HA) rode to school (from her place) This lunch hour we finalised “preparations”: Jemima writing for each of us a list of requirements (although we were given a typed sheet by teachers during one of the numerous camp meetings. [I’d glued both of these important pieces of information into the scrapbook, as you can see] All getting so excited. Although Jemima had to work, we decided to do shopping for the camp tonight.

Before Monique & I rode (the long trek) home we cycled into town so I could purchase my pair of 2nd hand army shorts. Monique barely made the journey home .. it was rather hot! [She never dealt well with heat.]

Shopping at Coles New World, in town was a scream.. our total came to about $63 and that was minus a few necessary items!! [Coles tacked on ‘New World’ as a sales slogan in the 1980’s… and my, how prophetic this was: the ‘diversification’ tactics these large supermarket companies (now conglomerates) employed has created a ‘new world’ ….of corporate greed!]

Monique & I pretty-well ‘carked’ it at home: we were rather exhausted!!

Camp Preparations Begin… ACE! (29 January)

Published on January 29, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Thursday 29/1//87

Well, we talked again today. T’was O.K. He found his letter in my bag (plastic bag – I’d better use my port tomorrow; feel silly cos’ everyone else is. [Yeah, and um, didn’t you just buy a new one? Can’t think why I would be taking just a plastic bag to school] Think I have worms) [Ok! If that isn’t the most random thing to say? And maybe too much information? Just, maybe?] and told him it was only for Jemima’s eyes. See, he rang me.. (yesterday he came over; in Jason P’s car with him & Cameron just stopped for a minute or two, in the gutter) and we talked a fair bit. [Privacy omission] The main thing was I talked about people. Asking him all the girls- he told me who he hated etc. Up to [privacy omission] he was secretive. I asked but he said “we had a few words before you arrived at the party” – (Angie J’s) I asked the “outcome” – “good and bad.” I rang fi straight after. She made me feel a bit better. [She was a great listener, and her objectivity almost always helped me through my issues & insecurities. Until the next time…] I spent the rest of the night cutting up pictures (magazines) in my room. It’s now about 8:45 & I haven’t had a shower yet. STINKING HOT.

[And the story per my scrapbook:]

Erica is in my biology class as well. FANTASTIC. This will be an ACE year. . .an ACE camp to start it. Began preparations for camp. Our group (of course) is Jemima, Fiona, Monique, Erica & myself. Would never have guessed, right?!!

[We created an acronym from the first initials of our names, which we used to ‘label’ everything: J.E.F.E.M. J-emima, E-rica, F-iona, E-lissa, M-onique. The picture below actually comes from Saturday’s page in the scrapbook.]

First Day of the Last Year (28 January)

Published on January 28, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Wednesday 28/1/87

SCHOOL! Just watched a blooper show while writing back to Mark said a lot of (soppy) stuff. Today was GREAT!! I loved it! It’s 10:35. Poor Jules was crying this morning, [first day at a new school… stressful for most people…] but she was fine later on. Bus was quite full. All classes are basically the same – timetable has changed a fair bit. In art, we are in the textiles room-it’s “ours” [meaning us CAD art kids] um, in english Erica’s with me [I knew her from primary school, as did Jemima & Fiona. She was just starting at Cairns High, moving over from Smithfield where Fiona & I spent our first 3 years. I wouldn’t have mentioned her too much in the past because she associated with a different crowd there. Being a newcomer, but also a Freshie kid, we took her into our fold immediately] (& Jemila’s at CH in eng. too. (ung!!)) [the girlfriend of the guy I snogged New Year’s Eve… uncomfortable much?] – our class is so big now. Didn’t have bio -but it’ll be the same – possibly bigger – Erica also (possibly) in it! MaI [that’s an abbreviation for ‘Maths 1’] – Mark’s class – for computers! [Oh so we did have them back then …so I’m not a real dinosaur?] mim, moni & Justine are in the other class. In chem..we’re one big class now-but not quite too big. Talked to Mark a fair bit too. Showed him my dad’s watch (to me) Yukky! [A poor way of saying I showed him a watch my dad must’ve given me, that I clearly wasn’t fussed on.] Went to see Nana – walked to hospital from school. Was so hot today Hate the yr 12 area – too hot & crowded [As I have previously mentioned, there were traditional ‘territories’ students occupied, relative to their year level. To be honest, I have no idea where the juniors tended to congregate but in Year 12 we were obliged to move to the much less spacious, weather-exposed (opposite) side of the same building we had previously ‘owned’ in Year 11. The only ‘prestige’ I can attribute to it is that is was street-side… great for the exhibitionist licence-holders…] Oh well. Can’t wait for camp. Can’t wait God it’s hot. Hope I don’t get periods for the camp- will be just my luck.

And on the opening page of my scrapbook (created after the ‘event’ so therefore may sometimes sound ‘reflective’)…

FANTASTIC START to (what I thought would be) the best year of my life (so far) anyhow. Discovered few changes in timetable: my classes: Erica in my english class & in computer maths also …with Fiona, Steven, Mark, Brent, Cameron.

Walked up to the (Calvery) Hospital [Cairns’ only private hospital.. which is now actually named ‘Cairns Private Hospital’] to visit my grandmother after school.

JASON, [no idea why I wrote his name in ‘caps’] Mark & cameron visit me in Jas’s Hoony car, after school.

A Boiling Pool & Camp Couture (26-27 January)

Published on January 26, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Only two days in this post? What’s going on? Where’s the rest of the week?

Without giving anything away, there is a major event approaching: the kind of thing few people experience in a lifetime, and I had the …foresight? …to record as much detail about it as possible, in order to “never forget”.

The upshot is, for the next nine days – beginning Wednesday 29 January – I will be posting daily because of the volume of material (and potentially extra commentary) I recorded about the event. Buckle up and enjoy the ….”ride”…..

Monday 26/1/87

AUSTRALIA DAY. Couldn’t get to sleep last night till around 12:00-1:00 or something – TV & lights were on – Mrs P asleep on the lounge. Eventually Monique got her up. [Apart from the annoyance of sleep deprivation, I have a vague recollection of being a little shocked by this: I’d never seen either of my parents fall asleep in front of the TV. They were The Parents, the Adults – they were the ones whose job it was to wake US up and send us to bed!] Slept in not long. Fi came while Monique was in the shower. We watched Night Patrol again for Fi, then went swimming. Bored … just talking after that. I was “hanging out” for a call from Mark, but I didn’t get one. After another swim, we returned the video, then waited outside for Mrs D. Talked a lot today – mostly about Fi’s trip. . .and the camp – CAN’T WAIT!! So hot at her house! And the pool’s boiling. Well, Martin came – car load of Stew’s friends & one of Martin’s. . made a few stops but I got home. Ate dinner, unpacked etc. Rang him .. he was at Keith’s. Stuff him. I’ll ring tomorrow arvy – see if he wants to see Golden Child – I think I’m going to town tomorrow with Fi & Moni. Will ring in morning 9:30. Gonna watch this comedy then bed! Oh Mark, I have to see you before I go back to school!! Especially! [Why especially? *shakes head* So… insecure…]

Tuesday 27/1/87

Went to town – took Monique. Was boring. Walked round – I got blisters of course. Saw Joannah, Megan & Marge. Monique looked for shoes, then we walked to a disposal store – trying on army shorts for the camp. And to 2nd hand store looked for old jeans- nothing was “right” there, either. [We would’ve been wanting to cut the legs off them…] Damn – caught bus back to monique’s just after seeing Fi. Swam in hot pool… “bludged”, and finally went for a [bike] ride … ended up going past Mark’s place (at 100km/hr!!) which embarrassed me. Talked to Nelly, next door & Leonie while mum talked to Mrs P. finally got home around 7:30. Rang Beka back and then Mark – a good phone call – talked almost nonstop – hardly said any “lovey-dovey” words… I thought he was being really “friendly” & that was it. See, I got his (4th) letter today. And it is gorgeous – so much about “us”. Oh I’m in love! It’s 9:40… time flies …must get to bed now or I’ll never wake up in the morning.

Mucking Around, Love Signs & Jaffles (19-25 January)

Published on January 19, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 19/1/87

Blitz day! I got a letter and a card! In his letter there were some really gorgeous things. – it started Hi cutey! The best I’ve received yet. Um, I went with mum & Jules .. we stayed at [dad’s] work a long time talking to dad & Jenny (mostly about my career) Shit what am I going to do? [The very same anxiety pretty much all high school kids experience…] After went to Earlville. I bought 2 cards One for mark for ‘fun’ like his and one for Valentine’s day. Also, Countdown Diaries have been sold out everywhere. Shit. Then after a very hot, boring afternoon, Mark rang, inviting me to Angie J’s party Wed. night. That means Robbie’ll be there (saw him in town too; dodged outta sight!) OH NO! No worries; I’ll be with Mark. [so you think: things rarely go to plan] So we talked for ages when I rang back. We’re going to Devil’s tomorrow. I have to ring him 9:05. God it’s hot. We still need more rain than we’ve been getting.

Tuesday 20/1/87

Well today, mum woke me with 2 letters from Monique. She’s having a ball by the sounds of it. I waited till about 10:20 to ring Mark. At 11:30 I got there. He was already there – had been for a dip. At Devil’s I jumped off the “cliff”. once. (!!) [I don’t know if you would call it a cliff – but it was a sheer, sudden drop into the water from its edge. It wasn’t a very popular swimming hole.] we were talking & mucking around. Went to Brimsmead shop sat for ages. Mucking around. Saw Judy (Judy F.) walking past. And she saw us. (!!) [the double exclamation marks potentially referring to the thought “great, word will get around”…] We went back to another nearby (shallow) place for swim again. Mucked around. Was really nice there. Got out & talked & mucked around. Then finally back to the shop. And there, while mucking around, I (looking through his wallet) [I have a feeling this was not as bad as it sounds… almost like I’d been given permission… he may have been sitting right there…] found an ‘old’ love note from Nicole. I didn’t read it but it was signed off, “from [privacy omission] Nicole” (typing) I thought why is he keeping it? I’m a little worried now. Anyway his wallet, sunnies & tape (UB40) are here – thought he’d be seeing me 2morrow. Rang him. & Fi. She’s coming to the party. It’s 11:30. Gonna watch a show now, then flop. I’m exhausted. An O.K. day. Wished it could’ve been a bit different. [How exactly?]

Wednesday 21/1/87

Waste of time waiting up to watch that show. Wasn’t good at all. So today mum woke me at 8:00. I was tired & grumpy. Went to Nana’s. Was boring I was so hot. [From memory, Nana lived in a little brick shoe-box of a unit, that had very poor ventilation. Back in the 80’s air-conditioning was not standard in rental properties.] Went to town after to do various things. Saw Mark & Keith on the the way!! Got my new skool shoes (just like my other ones) & did grocery shopping. At home I thought about the party. [As you read on, it turns out that we weren’t actually invited, so I was feeling uncomfortable about potentially gate-crashing…] I rang Fi. She didn’t want to go either. When Mark rang, he made “compromise”. He’d ask Angie when he got there if Fi & I could come & ring us up. That we did. At about 8:45 we left. Martin took us there. Talked to Mark a little; walked round. It was BORING. At 10:30, Mark, me, Fi, Sharon, Keith, Michelle walked to Croc. Rock. → only 2 or 3 streets away. I got in easily Fi didn’t but later; yes – without even paying [the cover charge, evidently …that was probably only $3 or something dirt cheap like that]! Mark & I spent a lot of time in Smithy’s talking – mucking around. The “others” came & went as they pleased. We held hands for sometime ..later in the morning. Soon it became natural holding hands all the time. then, arms → [the arrow led across to the next page of the diary…]

Thursday 22/1/87

round each other.. then I was meant to go with Fiona (& Martin) but she, being really happy [for me] & great friend convinced Terry to give me a lift home. Then it happened after she left. We were standing near a bar when Heather (blind) came over, raving on. Told us how “fucking gorgeous” we looked together and to “kiss”. Yes but it was yuk.. [because… awkward! But…] when she left… It wasn’t. we stood there for ages. It was beautiful. [Of course! What other descriptive would a lovestruck teenaged girl use?] Then eventually, they were coming in the same car. At 4:30 we left. We made so many stops. Mark was being gorgeous. [Privacy omission] Then he left at his place. Sad. Terry & Harry wanted to go to Freshy Ck. Sharon didn’t mind. So we stayed there till it got light. (Boring for me – my mind on Mark.) [of course…] Sharon rode my bike home. I had ≈ 2hrs sleep. Couldn’t sleep again, the rest of the day. Watched TV. Mark rang around 6:15. Saying ‘nice things. Gorgeous things. He wants to see me tomorrow. I rang Sharon – she’s gonna ride my bike here. I can’t wait – I want to see Mark again too. I’d spend my time with him rather than anyone else Is 9:40. I’m not even tired. Just boiling hot. Mark ♥♥♥

Friday 23/1/87

Today I ate nothing – only tonight – for dinner. I had a piece of bread & butter and an egg waffle. [I meant ‘jaffle’, but I think we might have grown up calling them waffles (which explains why I was so puzzled when I first heard about North American waffles years later, served up with bacon & maple syrup). Jaffles differ from ordinary toasties in that they’re sealed shut at the edges. Before electric toasted sandwich makers, there were a ‘jaffle irons’ (see pic) which we used to take camping.] See, sharon came round about 8:30 and I rang mark at 9:00. he said to ring him back when Sharon had gone (which was about 10:45) and we’d leave for Devil’s. Spent 1st 2hrs or so in water, mucking round with a stone few little kisses. Lying in the shade, together for another 1 or 2 hrs, then for another swim some other place for an hour or so. After sat for another 1/2hr & 1/2hr “saying goodbye” That was a yummy part. I rang him tonight. We can’t decide what to do on the weekend.. I must ring him tomorrow arvy with more suggestions. Watching the movie now. Was 36º at 10:00am today – dropped back to 35º rest of the day. Reckon be the same tomorrow. I’ll watch the cricket I guess. Tonight’s phonecall was boring – I said he’d get sick of seeing me. [Oh gawd…] He said never. I hope so. Am proud about my appetite. I wasn’t hungry with Mark. Wonder if that means anything. [Um, duh! Loss of appetite is just one of many symptoms or side-effects of ‘Being in Love’ and there’s science to back it up! Check out this article on live science.com website: it lists all the Signs… my little 16 year old self was displaying pretty much all of them…] 10:35 now. Should ring Fi sometime. And moni’s comin’ home sunday!! ACE!

Saturday 24/1/87

Slept in till about 9:00. I watched TV for a while in the morning, then for the rest of the day cut things out of my ’84 Dollys and tidied up (sorted out) the pile of junk on a dining chair, that has been there for days. Am watching the movie. . .a special about the history of musicals/broadway. It’s 10:00. I rang Mark around 5:00. He sounded fine for the first few minutes but the ultimate boredom of the phone call soon took effect. That must change. Anyway I’m ringing him tomorrow night to find out about going to Crystals on Australia Day with Terry (& the “mob” – Monique!) Was so hot – 36º max. But got a (kind of) storm late this arvy – and it’s still raining. Oh, I’m now being overwhelmed with fatigue: I’m bloody tired. Ate more today 3 pieces toast, banana, 4 shredded wheatmeal biccys & some crumbed steak & cheese & milk. And water & diet coke. [Ugh! Diet Coke. It’s frightening how much of that crap we consumed; sometimes mum, Julia and I would go through a 1.5 litre bottle in one day. Disgusting.] Pity, that!! Oh well. I’m looking slimmer I think. monique left Brissy today! HOORAY! [She would have been coming home by bus, which used to be the cheapest way to travel back then. It took a painful 24-26 hours as well, but airfares were just way too expensive in the 80’s.]

Sunday 25/1/87

Woke to a putrid, stinking hot day. Mum washed the windows. After helping a little, I cut out magazine pictures. Did that all morning (under my fan) till we went to see Nana. In hospital [to this day I am not certain what exactly my grandmother’s health issues were, apart from rheumatoid arthritis, and therefore have no idea why she was hospitalised], we just sat watching cricket, Jules & I. Was boring. When we got home, Monique called me, asked me over for the night. I rode over at about 4:20. Got there about 4:45. Her pool is HOT!! [No shade = tepid pool water] We talked, then rode to the video shop & got out NIGHT PATROL (embarrassing the guy made us ring Mrs P. to get her consent cause it was an ‘R’ rated movie.) Back home, we rushed off to Pizza Hut to get our pan pizza. I rang mark when I got back. He hadn’t decided what he was doing tomorrow. I suggested he ring us, tomorrow. Then after saying bye, Moni & I had pizza & during the video (sick!) [as in, crap. “Sick” had not positive connotations back then] Fiona rang. She’s coming over tomorrow for the day. Had a late night.

The Belly Fixation, A Disappointing Date & Immersion in Fiction (12-18 January)

Published on January 12, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 12/1/87

It was hell trying to get to sleep last night. To bed at 10:00; I could not sleep… lay moving frequently, ended up listening to the radio. About 2:00 I would’ve gotten to sleep I don’t know why I was so restless. Anyway, I woke rather early (??) It was hot. After mum left, Jules & I sunbaked till 9:50. (My stomach’s looking nice ‘n’ brown!) [Ah that stomach. It’s been the (physical) bane of my life.] Time went quickly. Around 11:30 Mark rang (he’d just woken up.) Talked for over an hour …going to [see the movie] Aliens on Wednesday night! (Julia wants to come too) I think I might’ve hung up on a bad note, hope not. Went to Kmart & Earlville with mum & Jules after – got more new socks & new singlets! That’s it, though. I want one of those tops, sleeveless with a high (turtle) neck. For Wed night. Fi rang (well I rang her) Justine F’s going to Brissy & wants us to go to Pancake House Wednesday night. Can’t wait! I can go, then go to [the Cinema] Capri from there. Then Croc Rock with Mark after the movies. oooh! I can’t wait! my stomach seems to be going flatter & browner! Must tone it up. Ooh, everything’s going good! Had an 1½-2 hr phone call from Beka→ all about Mark nearly. Is 10:35. wonder if I’ll get to sleep alright tonight?

Tuesday 13/1/87

Here I was, trying to sleep in (rather effortlessly for once! Yahoo!) & mum comes in . . “it’s Sharon. She wants to know if you’d like to go to the movies.” It was 7:30. [The point being, no movies began screening before 9:30am, so why did she have to disrupt my slumber?] I did though. Labyrinth is EXCELLENT. I love fantasy. That Is pure fantasy – beautiful romance. I loved it! God it’s hot. Walked round for awhile after. Caught 3:15 bus home- Mima, fi & polly also did! At home, read the letter Mark sent me. [I’m assuming a new one had arrived] It really is cute. Some gorgeous things – calling me “Princess” [back then, being a ‘Princess’ had no negative connotations…] and saying about my “cute giggle” and wants to think of me (wants me to send him a tape with me talking & laughing!) HaHa! Cute! So I wrote one back immediately. Rode to shops & posted it immediately. Have tried to ring him but is engaged. (for finalities on plans for tomorrow night.) [Desperado!] Oh dear. […you said it!] Am really looking forward to it! Is 8:55. Should I try again? [Really? I’m surprised mum let you. It was a kind of unspoken rule in our household that it was rude (inconsiderate) to call people after 8pm.] Why not? [Because it’s ‘too late’?] Nope – still engaged. Maybe their phone’s on the blink? [“on the blink” is Aussie slang for “not working”] Hot night.

Wednesday 14/1/87

A Life in Words — my top wasn’t that fitted, nor that short…

I can’t quite remember what I did today .. I think I woke and went to Smithfield Shopping Centre with mum to do the grocery shopping. I got a white sleeveless midriff high necked (turtlenecked) T shirt. At home I (can’t remember really what I did.). sunbaked for a while. About 5:00 or so I began to get ready. I wore my navy & white striped singlet dress as a skirt on (just above) my hips with Jules’ white belt, my new shirt & black shoes. [I can clearly picture this outfit. We were pretty creative with our outfits back then, thanks to the likes of Madonna, Boy George, Cyndi Lauper et al, who spawned the messy, layered fashion trend.] My hair was loaded with hairspray [aka Madonna/Cyndi L]. Picked up fi. Stayed short time at Pancake House – Justine, Leanne, Linda, Fiona, Mima & Brent were there when we (Jules Amanda & I) left. At Capri I saw him & Keith as soon as I walked in, but walked straight over to the ticket box. I sat. They “fretted” about tickets – the price. Eventually walked in when the attendant wasn’t there! Anyway nothing happened. [As in, no “making out”. As if it would, with his mate sitting right there with us.] I watched the movie – almost all of it & best I did was hold on to Mark’s jacket sleeve (wrap my arm around his kind of.) Aliens wasn’t really scary at all. After, we found Fi downstairs. She’d waited 1½hrs for us. [Poor pet] Went with [privacy omission]‘s dad [another parent complicit in our underage clubbing?] to Croc. Rock→ [story continued over the page…]

Thursday 15/1/87

for the first time ever (at C.R.) I wasn’t asked for ID at all & for the 1st time ever Keith & Mark were! 3 of us walked up. Fi got in later only about 10-15mins later. Was rather dull that night. We did dance “My Favourite Waste of Time” came on. Mark wasn’t into dancing that night. It was rather dull… I got depressed & that’s caused my day-long depression today. I think now that I made a mountain out of a molehill. Just some things about “marriage” [?!] & Mark doesn’t like my moodiness. [I think it’s fair enough to feel a bit crappy if you feel you’re being criticised.] I was quite depressed and the night did not end on a high note. In fact, I worried & was very moody all day today. I wonder why he never calls me and other things like that. Does he really care? How much does he care? There was a girl he talked to a lot whom I thought was [privacy omission] The girl he used to “love”. I worry too much. [Ya think? At least you’re aware of it…] I watched TV mostly read children’s literature to stop thinking. [Possibly why I love movies and books to this day: healthier forms of escapism than, say, drugs…] Beka rang then came over And I rang Fi tonight. She makes so much sense. I wish I had her attitudes to life. [I clearly didn’t have a clue back then that you could train your ‘attitudes’…] SO HOT 2DAY Is 10:05 GOT ABOUT 5HRS SLEEP THIS MORNING ∼5 till 10

Friday 16/1/87

Today I immersed myself in fiction again, but watching a bit more TV as well (who says that’s not fiction?) of course it is. [Oooh, some premature wisdom there!] My appetite was small I was surprised. [Stress can kill appetite] It was very hot. I was very tired. We went to see Nana in the afternoon. I ate 2 icecreams on the way home. [Emotional eating. Food as a crutch.] I feel and look slimmer, concerning my stomach. All I need is to exercise. My diet’s OK. (I mean concerning Kj intake – not nutrients) [At least I was aware of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ food and the notion of ’empty calories’] I need to burn my energy a bit faster. I think a little about Mark. I am not so worried anymore (superficially that is – I worry, deep inside, all the time. [Fantastic! Chronic Stress. The thing that underlies the majority of illnesses and even death.] More so, now) If I rang, what would I say? We must get in contact again before school or things could change (for worse.. ) I should send him the tape of me. Maybe letters are the best. I’m chicken (at the moment) to ring him & he will not willingly ring me. [Good god, I wish I could shake my young self! How useful the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” could have been back then…] I wish I could be sure he felt a lot for me. I hope he does. [10:00]

Saturday 17/7/87

Today I ate and watched TV. Nothing unsusal or exciting. Late this afternoon & right on through till now I have been going through the section on classical mythology in the Pear’s cyclopaedia getting all the ‘gods’. Haven’t finished yet. But today was hot & boring. Julia tried to get me on tape, but I resisted & she got shitty with me. [Sweet little sister; trying to propagate my potential relationship by fulfilling my ‘suitor’s’ wish… and promptly cracking the shits when I fail to comply…] God it’s hot!! Didn’t, obviously go to work today. Gonna listen to the radio again for as long as I wish – I can sleep in – – we hang towels over our louvres so our rooms are dark in the mornings – works well – I woke about 9:15 this morning! Did you know I’m in Greek myth? (Actually, yes: I have related this little tale (although with different details) in a previous post: click here if you’d like to re-visit it.] Elissa (Dido) daughter of a King [of “Tyre”] 2 stories – but in both I commit suicide. Nice, huh? Maybe I should do just that. [Wow, heavy.] I keep wondering about Mark. Want to, but don’t want to ring him. He is so gorgeous. I love him, do I? [???] 10:00

Sunday 18/1/87

I finished “gods” research in classical myth. And read about the Zodiac signs as much as possible. Otherwise for the rest of the day (most of it), I listened to the radio & watched cricket – Australia actually won! Jules & I were freaking every time they got one [a batter, I assume] out! Rang Fi tonight – she can’t do anything tomorrow – going to town with her mum. Also rang Mrs P – she wasn’t certain, but Monique’s coming home on the 25th; she rang me right after! [we definitely shared some freaky incidents, that girl and I…] From Brissy! She’s coming back with Cameron! Believe it or not the one who’s s’posed to hate her. I didn’t ring Mark. I might tomorrow night – saying I’m going crazy with boredom. Tomorrow tho’, we’re going to “book” Jules in .. I think. [And “I think” this referred to her moving to Cairns High. She’d witnessed the changes that the switch to ‘CHS’ had brought me, so followed suit in the hope that her life would change ‘for the better’ too.] Boy it’s hot. Woke early this morning to a downpour. Got a sprinkle this arvy ‘n’ that was it. Crikey gee! Hangin’ out for a letter from MW tomorrow. Hope 10:25

Ink Art, Hitch-hiking & Hysterical Laughter (5-11 January)

Published on January 5, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 5/1/87

I woke briefly thought briefly about Mark’s letter and drifted off to sleep again. Next thing I know, Jules & mum come in the room – holding the letter. [Well that certainly demonstrates how supportive my mum and sister could be. I guess my anxiety touched their (very) compassionate souls?] it was 8:45. And the letter was 5 foolscap pages. some of it was rather confusing. [Not hard to confuse someone who over-thinks things…] (Today, I went with mum into town. We got school bags for Jules & I and did a little grocery shopping & other things. Also briefly (for once) visited Nana. [Evidently I found visits with my grandmother tedious. I should have kept in mind how lonely she most likely was…] After that I ate, watched TV, listened to music & did crosswords All day.) Some things he said; he keeps my letter in his (new) wallet (!!) he loves Macdonald’s, scolded me for saying he was a typical lazy male who wouldn’t write back and for putting M:A. W. on the envelope. Naughty things he’s done: caught watching Electric Blue video! At the end he says “You really must be thick!! Of course I’m interested! If I wasn’t interested I would not be writing this letter. Nor would I have even opened your letter. (think about that!)” I’m not quite sure what it implies, [are you serious? That’s an overt statement, an admission. Viewing this as an ‘implication’ screams of distrust] but you know what I’m hoping it does! 9:15

Tuesday 6/1/87

I rang Sharon around 9:15. she said she was going to Crystals with Heather AnneMarie & Linda. HITCHING a ride. I said ‘no thanks!’ [My parents schooled me and my sister to never hitchhike for potential danger it posed. I actually don’t think I have ever done it, to this day…] She rang back a little later though, saying she’d chickened out too. So I ended up riding to her place [mind you, cycling – particularly on roads – can be pretty bloody dangerous too…] (took me ½hr) (with my new bag!) and, after lunch, we rode to Trinity. Lay in shade – went for a swim pigged out, went for a walk on the rocks, then rested. Pigged out again before we left. (Faster coming back) At Sharon’s we picked up grass cuttings. [Surely that was a chore, and not for ‘fun’?] I left around 5:00 – we [we? maybe Sharon rode part way with me?] stopped at Smithfield. Ate ½ a crunchie Good ride home (very tired.) Tonight I did more tracings. [Basically, with a pot of ink, a nib and artist’s tracing paper, I created duotone pictures from photos and magazine images. See pic] Thinking I should have rung Mark. Will have to tomorrow night. You know, I haven’t seen him for almost 3 weeks? I’ll die! Nah! [Clown] No rain today – cloudy. VERY HOT. Is 9:20 mima & Fi should be back soon. The 8th(?)

Wednesday 7/1/87

I was going to go see a cartoon movie with Sharon, but wasn’t too disappointed when mum said no. I did more ink tracings. Got a really bad stomach ache – constipation & period pain together (perhaps?) [Nice] About 12:30 I got a call from Sharon. She didn’t go after all – wanted to know if I’d go with her & (her mum) to see the Boy Who Could Fly. Said yes. I watched TV, ate a bit and got ready around 3:00. Took me an hour to get dressed. [I can still be a little indecisive when it comes to putting an outfit together but am nowhere near as bad as I used to be. Remember, only a few years ago I wanted to be a fashion designer… But that wasn’t it – usually it all came down to how ‘fat’ I looked; so time was wasted on poor body image. That’s hours of your life you never get back!] For once, I wasn’t ready (when they came) [Knowing how long it would take me to decide on an outfit, I used to set aside a fair bit of time, so I didn’t often run late. I’m pretty organised…] But the movie was good. Great. Beautiful. Went for iced chocolate at Dormay’s Cafe after. At home, I realised I left my wallet in their car. Tried to organise something to do with Sharon tomorrow so I could get it back. But got in a shit with mum. Is 9:45 still haven’t rung Mark. Dunno when I will. I wish he’d ring me. If I decide to] go out this Saturday I will [ring him]. Movie BUSTIN’ LOOSE. It’s on – dunno if I’ll watch all of it though. Forgot to ring Mrs B to find out when Fi & Mima get back. Still haven’t written to Moni yet!

Thursday 8/1/87

I could’ve gone to Earlville with Sharon today but had to wait for a phone call – thought we would go out to fill in education fee forms (govt allowance) but it never came anyway till late in the arvy. [A government department failing to contact you at an appointed time? Unheard of! …some things never change…] So I could’ve gone with her anyway. Still haven’t rung B’s. Nor Mark. I should tomorrow night. [It’s quite obvious to me now that this procrastination was fear-based…] Maybe I’ll work tomorrow as well as Saturday. Today I ate, watched TV, did crosswords and a bit of (absolutely useless – unsuccessful) sunbaking. Was so hot in the sun. Must write to Moni. Maybe I can do that tonight. I also wanted to ‘reply’ Mark’s letter. I did as soon as I got it – but I don’t like that one. I want to write a simpler, more-to-the-point one. I feel FAT! It’s 9:10. Don’t know if I will stay up and write letters. Depends – if everyone else goes to bed. Sharon rang this arvy – she’s definitely hitching to Crystals tomorrow with AMarie & Heddie.

Friday 9/1/87

As soon as I woke I felt a nagging uneasiness about my wallet. I wanted to get it back from Sharon. Didn’t trust her. [I’m fairly sure my ‘concern’ stemmed more from the desire to just have it ‘safely’ back in my possession, rather than the notion that she might ‘thieve’ from me…] Wrote to Mark today. It was a 10 page letter. [Oh yeah, VERY “simple” Liss…] Sent it & Moni’s today also. Tidied out my room this morning – did ink drawings till we went to pick up my wallet .. Sharon was at Crystals with AnneMarie & Heather (HITCHED out there.) [capital letters denoting my ‘disapproval’!] Did a bit of grocery shopping. At home, stuffed round. Sharon rang; asked if I wanted to go out tonight – AM & H. were. I refused. [I’m thinking that Heather & Anne-Marie’s hitch-hiking activities made them a bit too “bad-ass” for timid little me to hang out with…] Rang Fi tonight. Had the longest talk! They did get home yesterday; around 1:00. Didn’t ring Mark. I think he should ring me. Feel very thirsty for milk, and, now water. Strange! [Indeed…. that you should even bother diarising that…] Slightly cooler day today – cool breeze. Is 9:40. Mum said I have bags under my eyes. Sleeping restlessly lately. Mum’s been smoking. Jules & I have sprung her with lighter & matches. All she does is laugh hysterically. She lied to us. [She tried to give the habit away a number of times but it wasn’t until she was in her mid-to-late 50’s that she succeeded. I find amusing the notion that suggests the offspring of smoking parents are most likely to become future smokers themselves: it certainly hasn’t applied to me or my sister at all. We both vehemently detest the filthy, destructive habit. It was undeniably a main contributing factor to mum’s ill-health & eventual death. She certainly wasn’t “laughing hysterically” in the final months of her life and was, ironically, preaching to my niece & nephew never to smoke. Oh how tables can turn…]

Saturday 10/1/87

After waking, I did ink drawings (tracings) I continued when mum left. Dad said he’d be late; about 10:00. He came at 12:30, so Jules & I had changed our minds; we didn’t go to work. [Fair enough; two and half hours is more than enough time for anyone to change his/her mind.] I did silly tracings all day. Ate a fair bit too. I rang Jemima and she told me Jay was having a party. I went around 8:15. It was BIG. Walked up with Elisia & Glynn & Alan B to get Fiona. Beka & Justine were there too. I talked to people all night. Was rather boring. One thing disturbed me most; about Cameron (& Mark.) I mentioned to Alan & Glynn about him. Glynn confirmed it – but didn’t say much. Alan was trying to make me forget it. [It? What was ‘it’?] Glynn also mentioned Mark was shitty with me. what about? “Find out yourself.” when was this? “When he got your letter & before you left”. [All too cryptic!] I’m going to ring him tomorrow night to talk it over. (Few quite cute guys at the party tonight – No interest in me – but who would?) [“Poor Me”] Is 1:20. Was rather hot today. Amanda visited Jules

Sunday 11/1/87

Today I actually slept in. Know why? Julia had towels over her louvres & it made the room darker. It was great! I got up about 9:30. I think (??) and did few ink tracings (am rather sick of that now) [LOL, why? …you’ve only done it for the past 6 days…?] and read mags. Then Jules mum & I went to Smithfield Shopping Centre. Had a good browse around Big W. Got a new orange singlet! And something really funny happened. Jules & I were in the loo Two ladies came in. Julia was in one & one of the ladies went on the one [cubicle] I was in [had just come out of]. She farted! We cacked! [‘Cacking’ is slang for pooping your pants, so in this context, it means we basically laughed so hard we could have ‘crapped ourselves’] It was embarrassing I couldn’t hide my laughter from the other lady; God I tried! [You know what it’s like; laughing at the most inappropriate or awkward moments, it becomes impossible to stop and in fact makes you laugh harder…] Julia & I were in hysterics before we even got out [of the toilets]! At home (late in the arvy) I sat (lay) in the sun, browning my stomach – it wasn’t hot – I barely coloured. Then I rang Mark tonight. We got on well. Guess what? He’s ringing me tomorrow! We’re gonna do something!! CAN’T WAIT!! Is 9:50. Tired. Hot!

First New Year’s Pash & A Gutful of Worry (1-4 January)

Published on January 1, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Thursday 1/1/87

At 12:00, I hugged Ben, Sharon then Robbie. I knew it [was going to happen] straight away – we kissed. Then danced. Danced slow. Sat.. he went to dance, kissed me on the neck. It was wierd. I felt sick. I so badly wanted mark. I felt really confused. About 1:45 we left. Holding hands to taxi rank – far too crowded- no taxis in sight. [Sounds like your average New Year’s Eve scenario!] Rang their mum. Sat in the back holding hands. I felt so tired and sick, in the stomach. I was repulsed. Got to sleep, at home, around 3:30 I’d say, after getting ready for bed, talking & me worrying myself sick. [Sharon obviously staying at my house: I may be a bit insane but I’m fairly sure I didn’t talk to myself that often.] Woke about 9:30. Still worrying Couldn’t talk to Sharon – she doesn’t understand I can tell. Went to her place today going to go to beach, but didn’t. Got a video. Had a water fight. Left ∼4:30. I rang Monique a little while ago; on the phone for ages. I almost started crying sometimes. She’s leaving tomorrow. [For a holiday in Brisbane; her original home. They had only lived in Cairns for the past year, moving up as her father was transferred for work.] What am I to do? Sharon wants to do everything with B&R. (Well, Ben anyway) I tried to ring Mark. “he’s not home yet ..have no idea where he is” what am I to think about that? [I know what I’d think NOW…] Oh why do I get myself into so much trouble? [What trouble? You mean Stress. Well, it wasn’t really cataclysmic…] I love you Mark. I want you.

Friday 2/1/87

Woke 6:30. I’m not used to all the light in my bedroom, after Jodie’s dark (curtained) bedroom. [Aha, no wonder I love my blockout curtains now!] Makes me angry that I can’t sleep in. [Touché] I waited for 8:30→9:00 to come – for the mail & Mark’s letter but heard on 8:30 news – Aust. Post shut today. How slack. I was so upset. Cried. I was so tense & anxious today. About 9:00 I was driven to Freshy – got my haircut – the bob is almost visible. Could be lucky – could nearly grow out before school!! Fringe cut, too. I love it! So much easier to handle. But I was, of course, still upset. After spending less than an hour in town looking for shirts (unsuccessfully) went home. Did nothing. So worried – so restless. Rang Sharon later. She’d talked to Ben – said Robbie acting as if nothing happened. Somehow, it didn’t really relieve me. Nana came over – I was too unsocial cos’ of my worry. After dropping Nana home (gorgeous rain & thunderstorm) I finally worked up the nerve – I rang him. And it was GREAT! [Wow, ALL that worry for ‘nothing’] We’re going to see a movie sometime!! [“sometime”? that’s a nice ‘loose’ commitment…] Can you believe it? Lady Luck: I love you!! [Now this is just silly. What the hell has ‘Lady Luck’ got to do with anything?] It’s 10:05. I’m happy again. [sheesh!] Mark’s adorable!

Saturday 3/1/87

I woke after 7:00, believe it or not! And I had to ring Sharon – I thought she’d have forgotten. Around 10:15 they came. We went to Earlville. Did very little constructive. [What is there to do at a shopping centre that’s truly ‘constructive’?] Met the guy “Jim” who was with us at Nighthawkes on New Years. I felt embarrassed whenever they (Sharon or he) mentioned Robbie or Gemilla. [Oh that’s right, Robbie had a girlfriend? No wonder I was so stressed – I mean, on top of my other concerns. Interestingly, what I didn’t then know was that Gemilla was starting Year 12 at Cairns High this year as well…. Ooops!] Mrs W came about 12:15. We had (big) lunch at Dormay’s Cafe, then dropped into my place. Picked up togs and some stuff. Mrs W dropped Sharon, me & Nida (her dog (rat dog chiwawa?)) at Kamerunga. It rained. Hard. We walked all the way to annemaries. I had to carry the towels & dog & lilo (to keep it dry) while Sharon pranced round. Mrs W got us soon after. Watched Police Academy III after a pig-out at smithfield shopping centre. I stayed the night – Sharon taught me to play backgammon – Excellent game. After watching a really sick video, [‘sick’ didn’t have any ‘positive’ connotations back then, unlike today …besides its actual definition, it only meant either ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’] we crashed.

Sunday 4/1/87

Woke, after brekky played backgammon [Do you think I have any idea how to play it now? I don’t think I have actually played it since then.] That’s about all we did until mum picked me up at 10:00. A very boring day at home. I did crosswords from old magazines, watched cricket and ate. I’m angry – my appetite’s been rather small lately and now I go and stuff it up. Wish I could do something. If Monique was here, I could do lots – I get really sick of Sharon rather quickly. It’s 11:55 Really hot today. A bit of rain – but not really enough to cool it down. Crikey – I think I need an early night soon. I wish Mark’d hurry up and ring me. I can’t wait to go out.

Family, Friends & Future Fears: Farewell ’86 (29-31 December)

Published on December 29, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 29/12/86

HOME! I’m HOME! We woke (well, I did) at 5:30 (4:30 Qld time) got ready – finished packing. After [family] photos drove to airport. A short wait, and we were all (almost all) in tears.. I didn’t expect I would [cry]. On the plane, tears as we waved goodbye from plane & I absolutely gushed when we taxied down the runway & took off, over Sydney. Trip was boring. Didn’t really want to stop at Brissy but…. [back then there were less flights per day, as well as fewer routes, so a stopover in Brisbane was probably unavoidable, but with more family living in Brisbane anyway, the extra time was easily put to good use] Uncle Steven looks so much like dad. Only other person I see in him is papa. [My grandfather. Contrary to the way people usually pronounce it, we used to call him “paa-paa”] Dad & Papa mixture. Simon (youngest) is so cute) Daniel (hmm..) & Ben rather shy. Auntie Bev changed little. day was boring there. Glad (almost) to get on the DC-9 (hate those planes – always get sick/feel sick) Boring flight short stop Townsville (lotsa cloud & turbulence between Bris & Townsv.) Nightime in Cairns. Dad, Jenny & Geoff there [at the airport, I assume]. Feels so good to be home. Yet I still love Sydney! After I unpacked rang Sharon – not home, monique – not home & mark – not home. GREAT, GUYS! I’m home, but no one else is. [Funny that: the world doesn’t revolve around you!] Oh well 10:05 sleep in 2morrow

Tuesday 30/12/86

Boring. Disappointing. No one answered when I rang Sharon. Monique was home. She invited me to town with her. About 11:00 I got there. Went to Richardson’s [a local department store that primarily retailed textiles] (sometime) and spent ages there ‘looking for a pattern’, then went back to Monique’s. Pool water was so “warm”. Camille & her uni friends Sam and Gayle there & soon Lyndon his friends Ian (cute!) and Tim (blech!) came. I was bored. Later watched a video (Eddie & the Cruisers) and I rang mum. She was mowing. I swam again & watched TV till she came, about 7:30. At home, after bath & dinner rang Mark. Was at the Waterworks Paul (I gather it was) said he’d be back after 9:00. I asked him to get him to ring me. Hasn’t yet – it’s 11:10. [Um, are you seriously still expecting a call?] I been reading Dolly since phoning him. SO HOT, HERE! Not used to it yet!! Jeez, I realized I haven’t a diary for ’87. What’ll I do for N.Y.’s Eve? Woke [this morning] to a light bedroom & revving of lorry engines next door SHIT

[In the Notes section at the back of the diary, I further analysed myself …in relation to Mark, of course:]

END OF THE YEAR; I’M REALLY “GOOD FRIENDS” WITH HIM, BUT STILL SO DAMNED INSECURE. CAN YOU BLAME ME? I need to be REASSURED CONSTANTLY +ves outweigh -ves. If I hear good stuff lots more than bad, I’ll worry less. I’m so sensitive and insecure; just too emotional. How am I to believe what I’ve heard, even from him? Why do I worry so much? It’ because I care so much SO MUCH. I wish I could believe everything said to me. But I think of bad things, anything that goes against what’s been said – so I am curious, and anxious. ← that’s insecurity

Wednesday 31/12/86

Well, Mark rang, after Sharon this morning. He’s (possibly, but most likely) going to Croc. Rock. It was only in town with Sharon that I decided I’d go- (our phone call [with Mark, that is] was not really happy – told him I wasn’t going out.) We met Ben & Robbie A. in Good Time [a local clothing retail store]. I was introduced. We stayed with them the rest of the afternoon. I got really relaxed around them. (Ben, anyway) Robbie really wanted us (me) to meet them tonight. “You gotta go out – my, Ben’s, your first New year’s Eve Out. So I did. We were late (Sharon & I). Ben was there Robbie was at Nighthawkes. Walked there. [to Nighthawkes? From Crocodile Rock? Sheesh, that would’ve been damned long way…] I got in, on my own .. NO SWEAT!! We danced. Ben & Rob are so good at dancing. Then midnight came. Goodbye ’86. You were a really enlightening year. I matured a lot this year. FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT’S STORY, SEE 87 DIARY 1st JAN [I created this ‘strict’ habit of quitting the story, my diary entries, right on midnight. Because – of course – that’s when the years ended, right?]

[Again, in the Notes section I summarised the year and set the scene for 1987:]

1986: This year I have grown up (?) or changed (yes) a lot. So many beneficial things happened due to my shift to Cairns High. I’ve made more friends – males like I’ve never had before. I’ve opened up more – gained in confidence because of it. But a subsequent downfall in schoolwork due to increased (dramatically increased) social life. [I have to admit, I totally nailed it. To this day, even with the benefit of hindsight, I can’t deny that the shift to Cairns High was a notable turning point or life milestone.]

NEXT YEAR I WILL HAVE TO KNUCKLE DOWN. MUCH MORE THOUGHT & CONCENTRATION IS REQUIRED. MY LIFE LIES AHEAD – MY CAREER WILL HAVE TO BE DECIDED. [There’s a hint of the pressure that a lot of teens feel even to this day. Even at 44 years of age, I can totally identify with the stresses many of senior secondary school students feel with regard to their futures. This is most definitely a timeless, universal sentiment.] MANY DECISIONS TO MAKE

LOTS OF HOPE.. NO HELP.

Sydney Touring, Trouble Pooping & A Greedy, Mental Christmas (22-28 December)

Published on December 22, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 22/12/86

mima (& Fi) rang this arvy (tonight) they wanted to know if I’d like to meet them in Chatswood tomorrow. I must ring them back tomorrow – we’re going to Manly instead (the hydrofoil!!) We went to Chatswood by bus today. shopped. Got all my prezzies ‘cept Mike’s. (Now, can do that tomorrow) At home, ate lunch, wrapped presents, then caught train to Hornsby → 10 pin bowling. EXCELLENT! I even won one game! (out of 3 – Mike won the others) we went home about 3:30 on train → to Linfield – had to wait till 4:14 for train to Roseville. Mucked round at home. I shaved my legs tonight. Had to. The hair was too long – I’m gonna wax ’em next time tho. Is 10:30 (9:30 Qld) Nana sent up [down; down to Sydney, from Cairns] a letter …on Tuesday it was 43º in Cairns. Wish I was there to go to Crystals with Mark & everyone. would’ve been the biggest rage. [and if that didn’t happen, you’d be happy to be there in 43º heat? I don’t think so…] Oh well. Not long now Ni, nite.

Tuesday 23/12/86

Jodie & I went to Manly. Julia just didn’t want to come (same for mike) we caught the train to circular quay and then the hydrofoil (just like “cats” [catamarans] in Cairns to the Islands) to Manly; walked round. I bought a pair of white (ray-ban type) sunnies for $6 and diamonte’s for $3 (a real steal!!)(not that!) [not stealING, I meant] and mike’s prezzy and a new ring. $2 – it’s a little big. I’m a bit warm. When we got back we watched ½ of Lampoon’s Vacation and got ready to go to a BBQ. There, we watched videos: Summer Rental and the Jewel of the Nile. ← that was great. Um, I realised, at school next year I’m gonna be a different person… I’ll be more well-known to the guys. more friendly. Great friends. [uh-huh…] Is 12:10. Not too sure what we’re doing tomorrow. Found mima’s phone number; thought I’d lost it.. only a few days & I’ll be home. Still have to get prezzies for moni, mima, fi, sharon, geoff (?) got some today.

Wednesday 24/12/86

Guess what? Mickey’s back! Remember Mickey my mouse watch? He’s been out of order for ages and I bought him down here to get fixed mum took him in yesterday. I picked him up (only $15 it cost!) today. Jo, Jules & I went to Chatswood, yet again today. I have blisters – I thought I’d “broken in” my black shoes – obviously not – my feet are in agony. Not to mention my stomach pains. A big gut – talk about constipation! I’ve never had as much trouble pooing as I have on this holiday. [oh dear] It’s 11:26 (10:26 – so 1½hrs to Xmas Day – not ½ hr!) [I figured Queensland time was ‘true’ time because we didn’t change our clocks for daylight savings, and we therefore not artificially altering Time!] Wouldn’t it be great if Mark rang me?! But that’s expecting far, far too much. I know I’d be pushing to get even a ‘note’ in reply to my letter. Oh well – home soon! (Dammit reminds me of all the prezzies I have to buy yet and all the things I wanted for myself – all out of $50. That’s about all I have left. REMIND ME. I have to get a new diary. Damn that too! G/night. (Hi Santa!!!)

Thursday 25/12/86

I was “literally” dragged out of bed at 7:00. Didn’t get many prezzies, but am happier (generally) with what I got compared to last years. There’ll be a list in the back [of the diary] of overall prezzies [funnily enough, I must have forgotten to make the list: there’s definitely no record in the back of the diary…] still have a few little ones to get from others: Bev, Steven etc…. listened to all our music all day. Had “drinks” visitors from about 11:00 on. Then our Christmas lunch. I felt so gutsy. But I was practically running to the loo (!!) [hooray!] mucked round Lazed in the arvy. Had no specific dinner – everyone was still full (rather) from lunch. [Isn’t that the ‘expected’ Christmas ritual? Food comas after huge festive meals…] On the scales – I’d prefer not to talk ’bout my weight. OH! Also, about 4:30 we met Greedy Smith [lead vocalist] from the Mentals (Mental As Anything) – got an autograph. [His mother lived down the road from my cousins] Seems nice enough, but a bit “off” cos of tummy. upset. […or maybe a bit ‘off’ because his parents’ home was invaded by pesky little fans on christmas day? I’ll always associate their single “Live It Up” with that experience because it was Mental As Anything’s current release/hit single at the time…]

After a massage on uncle Peter’s prezzy from mike (electric “fingertips” massager) went to bed. 10:14 (9:14) SO THAT’S XMAS 1986. NO BIG DEAL. [No big deal? How many people get to visit (or potentially annoy) a popular musician on christmas day?]

Friday 26/12/86

Today, after waking late, we caught the train (Jules, Jo & I) to (Town Hall station) Sydney – the city and and went to see The Three Amigos. It was excellent. Once at home, a phone call for me and it wasn’t just mima & fi: ..it was long distance, Sharon!! Told her about letters. Really short conversation – gonna do something (go out) when I come home (on Mon.) Went for a swim up the road, at Lee’s (Michael’s friend & friends of the family) place – Jo, Mike & I. Short swim. Then mum’s cousin & his family came – the ones we went to see, when they were visiting Cairns. Up late – is now almost 11:00. forgot to ring fiona and jemima about Luna Park on Sunday. MUST do that tomorrow. Found the phone number. Read almost a whole book this arvy. Sweet Dreams – crap romance story. [Sweet Dreams novels were a series of teen romance novels popular in the 1980’s. I read quite a lot of them many years earlier but am quite certain I was well and truly ‘off’ them by this stage. I imagine the one I read this day would have been my cousin’s.] Anyhow busy day tomorrow (VERY!) so must get some sleep. Night!

Saturday 27/12/86

Mark rang, about 7:00 (6:00 down there – I mean UP there) Didn’t sound very pleased, but I haven’t talked to him for so long. He also sent me a letter but I won’t get it before I leave – they’ll have to forward it to our Cairns address. Can’t wait to get it. But there is doubt… I’m pretty sure he likes me – why would he write me a letter and spend money on a long distance phone call? [Well, HE wouldn’t’ve paid for the phone call – it would’ve been billed to his parents…] Well, today, I changed one of my prezzies – a purple singlet I got And refunded another – extra $38 cash. in Chatswood. Then (got lost) went to Paddy’s Markets. Not bad – but boring. Then (lost) found the Rocks & walked around. In Paddington saw the old terrace houses – they are GORGEOUS. Beautiful. Then finally (lost!) got home. Went with Uncle Peter to get the dinghy. [?] – then at home. after Countdown I got the call. Oh, I’m worried. Why? Elissa, you dit! [Dit? Hmm, not sure where I got this expression from] I still haven’t rung mima & fiona. It’s only 8:41 now, so I still can. Um, early night tonight. exciting day, I s’pose you could say!!

Sunday 28/12/86

Jodie got her own way today. She is so, so… rude, demanding… lazy… they [she?] wanted to go to Australia’s Wonderland ’cause it was better worth it (moneywise) [than Luna Park, I assume] and was bigger. (when I rang) mima said they had no way of getting out there [Australia’s Wonderland was a good 40 kilometres west of the city, at Eastern Creek.] Of course, the person taking us couldn’t take them. So I had to go, Julia saying it was our last day & we want to spend it with our cousins. And then she [my cousin] turns round & invites across the road friend (her dad was taking us, tho’.) so it was good. A huge amusement park [it was the largest in the southern hemisphere, but closed down in 2004] – I went on every ride (excluding only about 2) they were “slack” most of them except for the roller coaster. “Bush Beastie” EXCELLENT!! Jodie then went to a party when we got back, leaving (expecting) Jules & I to clean out the rabbits cage. Can you believe it? We didn’t [clean the cage out] of course. “last day with the cousins” & here she is at a party. Bullshit. Fran rang too! She’s coming to Cairns on 1st Jan. Is 9:52. I’m going home. Oh Mark!