phone calls – Page 3 – A Life in Words

Tent Erection & Pill Popping (31 January)

Published on January 31, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Saturday 31/1/87

Boy, has it been one hectic day. Dad came round, about 8:15 I think [with the tent]. Fi was the only one who came. [Um, not according to your scrapbook…] We put it up quite easily. I was sweating – Dad said that’s a fast cure for a cold [actually, no: that’s an old wives’ tale] – I’m feeling better now; not coughing anymore; just mainly dripping nose. A few sneezes & of course, mucus-but not quite as bad.. Tonight I [will] sleep without the fan . . . sweat it out for the last time. Gosh it’s hot, but I must ‘hack’ it! So many people called and came over today. Dad, Fi, Monique, Jemima, Sharon Erica & Brent. Finally everything is organised (I popped [cold & flu] pills almost all day) Oh. yes – I’m boiling. wanted to ring Mark but – too late. No real need, really. I must be better for tomorrow. Fuck – this ‘tickle’ in my throat is making me cough – but I can’t stop it – the tickling. [Why don’t you just drop some cough medicine? You’ve been downing a truckload of other pharmaceuticals…] Better get some sleep. 9:20

[And the scrapbook record:]

Personal preparations for the camp today, mostly. Monique & I (& Fiona who came down quite early) were taught how to put up our monstrous 5 man tent (with fly-screened annexe) by my father [I’m not sure how clear it is, but you may be able to discern a sketch I did of it, underneath the word ‘Saturday’] . . was hot, but rewarding ‘work’. Also began packing food into cardboard boxes. Monique (too tired to ride home) [no doubt, heat fatigue] got a lift around lunchtime. The afternoon was spent packing my bags & on the phone to either Fiona, Monique, Jemima or Erica and even Sharon & Brent. I popped pills all day to try & rid myself of my cold. [except that pill popping fixes nothing; simply masks the symptoms…]

My handiwork during the packing of food . . labelling each and every item in case of theft!!!

The Belly Fixation, A Disappointing Date & Immersion in Fiction (12-18 January)

Published on January 12, 2015 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 12/1/87

It was hell trying to get to sleep last night. To bed at 10:00; I could not sleep… lay moving frequently, ended up listening to the radio. About 2:00 I would’ve gotten to sleep I don’t know why I was so restless. Anyway, I woke rather early (??) It was hot. After mum left, Jules & I sunbaked till 9:50. (My stomach’s looking nice ‘n’ brown!) [Ah that stomach. It’s been the (physical) bane of my life.] Time went quickly. Around 11:30 Mark rang (he’d just woken up.) Talked for over an hour …going to [see the movie] Aliens on Wednesday night! (Julia wants to come too) I think I might’ve hung up on a bad note, hope not. Went to Kmart & Earlville with mum & Jules after – got more new socks & new singlets! That’s it, though. I want one of those tops, sleeveless with a high (turtle) neck. For Wed night. Fi rang (well I rang her) Justine F’s going to Brissy & wants us to go to Pancake House Wednesday night. Can’t wait! I can go, then go to [the Cinema] Capri from there. Then Croc Rock with Mark after the movies. oooh! I can’t wait! my stomach seems to be going flatter & browner! Must tone it up. Ooh, everything’s going good! Had an 1½-2 hr phone call from Beka→ all about Mark nearly. Is 10:35. wonder if I’ll get to sleep alright tonight?

Tuesday 13/1/87

Here I was, trying to sleep in (rather effortlessly for once! Yahoo!) & mum comes in . . “it’s Sharon. She wants to know if you’d like to go to the movies.” It was 7:30. [The point being, no movies began screening before 9:30am, so why did she have to disrupt my slumber?] I did though. Labyrinth is EXCELLENT. I love fantasy. That Is pure fantasy – beautiful romance. I loved it! God it’s hot. Walked round for awhile after. Caught 3:15 bus home- Mima, fi & polly also did! At home, read the letter Mark sent me. [I’m assuming a new one had arrived] It really is cute. Some gorgeous things – calling me “Princess” [back then, being a ‘Princess’ had no negative connotations…] and saying about my “cute giggle” and wants to think of me (wants me to send him a tape with me talking & laughing!) HaHa! Cute! So I wrote one back immediately. Rode to shops & posted it immediately. Have tried to ring him but is engaged. (for finalities on plans for tomorrow night.) [Desperado!] Oh dear. […you said it!] Am really looking forward to it! Is 8:55. Should I try again? [Really? I’m surprised mum let you. It was a kind of unspoken rule in our household that it was rude (inconsiderate) to call people after 8pm.] Why not? [Because it’s ‘too late’?] Nope – still engaged. Maybe their phone’s on the blink? [“on the blink” is Aussie slang for “not working”] Hot night.

Wednesday 14/1/87

A Life in Words — my top wasn’t that fitted, nor that short…

I can’t quite remember what I did today .. I think I woke and went to Smithfield Shopping Centre with mum to do the grocery shopping. I got a white sleeveless midriff high necked (turtlenecked) T shirt. At home I (can’t remember really what I did.). sunbaked for a while. About 5:00 or so I began to get ready. I wore my navy & white striped singlet dress as a skirt on (just above) my hips with Jules’ white belt, my new shirt & black shoes. [I can clearly picture this outfit. We were pretty creative with our outfits back then, thanks to the likes of Madonna, Boy George, Cyndi Lauper et al, who spawned the messy, layered fashion trend.] My hair was loaded with hairspray [aka Madonna/Cyndi L]. Picked up fi. Stayed short time at Pancake House – Justine, Leanne, Linda, Fiona, Mima & Brent were there when we (Jules Amanda & I) left. At Capri I saw him & Keith as soon as I walked in, but walked straight over to the ticket box. I sat. They “fretted” about tickets – the price. Eventually walked in when the attendant wasn’t there! Anyway nothing happened. [As in, no “making out”. As if it would, with his mate sitting right there with us.] I watched the movie – almost all of it & best I did was hold on to Mark’s jacket sleeve (wrap my arm around his kind of.) Aliens wasn’t really scary at all. After, we found Fi downstairs. She’d waited 1½hrs for us. [Poor pet] Went with [privacy omission]‘s dad [another parent complicit in our underage clubbing?] to Croc. Rock→ [story continued over the page…]

Thursday 15/1/87

for the first time ever (at C.R.) I wasn’t asked for ID at all & for the 1st time ever Keith & Mark were! 3 of us walked up. Fi got in later only about 10-15mins later. Was rather dull that night. We did dance “My Favourite Waste of Time” came on. Mark wasn’t into dancing that night. It was rather dull… I got depressed & that’s caused my day-long depression today. I think now that I made a mountain out of a molehill. Just some things about “marriage” [?!] & Mark doesn’t like my moodiness. [I think it’s fair enough to feel a bit crappy if you feel you’re being criticised.] I was quite depressed and the night did not end on a high note. In fact, I worried & was very moody all day today. I wonder why he never calls me and other things like that. Does he really care? How much does he care? There was a girl he talked to a lot whom I thought was [privacy omission] The girl he used to “love”. I worry too much. [Ya think? At least you’re aware of it…] I watched TV mostly read children’s literature to stop thinking. [Possibly why I love movies and books to this day: healthier forms of escapism than, say, drugs…] Beka rang then came over And I rang Fi tonight. She makes so much sense. I wish I had her attitudes to life. [I clearly didn’t have a clue back then that you could train your ‘attitudes’…] SO HOT 2DAY Is 10:05 GOT ABOUT 5HRS SLEEP THIS MORNING ∼5 till 10

Friday 16/1/87

Today I immersed myself in fiction again, but watching a bit more TV as well (who says that’s not fiction?) of course it is. [Oooh, some premature wisdom there!] My appetite was small I was surprised. [Stress can kill appetite] It was very hot. I was very tired. We went to see Nana in the afternoon. I ate 2 icecreams on the way home. [Emotional eating. Food as a crutch.] I feel and look slimmer, concerning my stomach. All I need is to exercise. My diet’s OK. (I mean concerning Kj intake – not nutrients) [At least I was aware of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ food and the notion of ’empty calories’] I need to burn my energy a bit faster. I think a little about Mark. I am not so worried anymore (superficially that is – I worry, deep inside, all the time. [Fantastic! Chronic Stress. The thing that underlies the majority of illnesses and even death.] More so, now) If I rang, what would I say? We must get in contact again before school or things could change (for worse.. ) I should send him the tape of me. Maybe letters are the best. I’m chicken (at the moment) to ring him & he will not willingly ring me. [Good god, I wish I could shake my young self! How useful the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” could have been back then…] I wish I could be sure he felt a lot for me. I hope he does. [10:00]

Saturday 17/7/87

Today I ate and watched TV. Nothing unsusal or exciting. Late this afternoon & right on through till now I have been going through the section on classical mythology in the Pear’s cyclopaedia getting all the ‘gods’. Haven’t finished yet. But today was hot & boring. Julia tried to get me on tape, but I resisted & she got shitty with me. [Sweet little sister; trying to propagate my potential relationship by fulfilling my ‘suitor’s’ wish… and promptly cracking the shits when I fail to comply…] God it’s hot!! Didn’t, obviously go to work today. Gonna listen to the radio again for as long as I wish – I can sleep in – – we hang towels over our louvres so our rooms are dark in the mornings – works well – I woke about 9:15 this morning! Did you know I’m in Greek myth? (Actually, yes: I have related this little tale (although with different details) in a previous post: click here if you’d like to re-visit it.] Elissa (Dido) daughter of a King [of “Tyre”] 2 stories – but in both I commit suicide. Nice, huh? Maybe I should do just that. [Wow, heavy.] I keep wondering about Mark. Want to, but don’t want to ring him. He is so gorgeous. I love him, do I? [???] 10:00

Sunday 18/1/87

I finished “gods” research in classical myth. And read about the Zodiac signs as much as possible. Otherwise for the rest of the day (most of it), I listened to the radio & watched cricket – Australia actually won! Jules & I were freaking every time they got one [a batter, I assume] out! Rang Fi tonight – she can’t do anything tomorrow – going to town with her mum. Also rang Mrs P – she wasn’t certain, but Monique’s coming home on the 25th; she rang me right after! [we definitely shared some freaky incidents, that girl and I…] From Brissy! She’s coming back with Cameron! Believe it or not the one who’s s’posed to hate her. I didn’t ring Mark. I might tomorrow night – saying I’m going crazy with boredom. Tomorrow tho’, we’re going to “book” Jules in .. I think. [And “I think” this referred to her moving to Cairns High. She’d witnessed the changes that the switch to ‘CHS’ had brought me, so followed suit in the hope that her life would change ‘for the better’ too.] Boy it’s hot. Woke early this morning to a downpour. Got a sprinkle this arvy ‘n’ that was it. Crikey gee! Hangin’ out for a letter from MW tomorrow. Hope 10:25

Family, Friends & Future Fears: Farewell ’86 (29-31 December)

Published on December 29, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 29/12/86

HOME! I’m HOME! We woke (well, I did) at 5:30 (4:30 Qld time) got ready – finished packing. After [family] photos drove to airport. A short wait, and we were all (almost all) in tears.. I didn’t expect I would [cry]. On the plane, tears as we waved goodbye from plane & I absolutely gushed when we taxied down the runway & took off, over Sydney. Trip was boring. Didn’t really want to stop at Brissy but…. [back then there were less flights per day, as well as fewer routes, so a stopover in Brisbane was probably unavoidable, but with more family living in Brisbane anyway, the extra time was easily put to good use] Uncle Steven looks so much like dad. Only other person I see in him is papa. [My grandfather. Contrary to the way people usually pronounce it, we used to call him “paa-paa”] Dad & Papa mixture. Simon (youngest) is so cute) Daniel (hmm..) & Ben rather shy. Auntie Bev changed little. day was boring there. Glad (almost) to get on the DC-9 (hate those planes – always get sick/feel sick) Boring flight short stop Townsville (lotsa cloud & turbulence between Bris & Townsv.) Nightime in Cairns. Dad, Jenny & Geoff there [at the airport, I assume]. Feels so good to be home. Yet I still love Sydney! After I unpacked rang Sharon – not home, monique – not home & mark – not home. GREAT, GUYS! I’m home, but no one else is. [Funny that: the world doesn’t revolve around you!] Oh well 10:05 sleep in 2morrow

Tuesday 30/12/86

Boring. Disappointing. No one answered when I rang Sharon. Monique was home. She invited me to town with her. About 11:00 I got there. Went to Richardson’s [a local department store that primarily retailed textiles] (sometime) and spent ages there ‘looking for a pattern’, then went back to Monique’s. Pool water was so “warm”. Camille & her uni friends Sam and Gayle there & soon Lyndon his friends Ian (cute!) and Tim (blech!) came. I was bored. Later watched a video (Eddie & the Cruisers) and I rang mum. She was mowing. I swam again & watched TV till she came, about 7:30. At home, after bath & dinner rang Mark. Was at the Waterworks Paul (I gather it was) said he’d be back after 9:00. I asked him to get him to ring me. Hasn’t yet – it’s 11:10. [Um, are you seriously still expecting a call?] I been reading Dolly since phoning him. SO HOT, HERE! Not used to it yet!! Jeez, I realized I haven’t a diary for ’87. What’ll I do for N.Y.’s Eve? Woke [this morning] to a light bedroom & revving of lorry engines next door SHIT

[In the Notes section at the back of the diary, I further analysed myself …in relation to Mark, of course:]

END OF THE YEAR; I’M REALLY “GOOD FRIENDS” WITH HIM, BUT STILL SO DAMNED INSECURE. CAN YOU BLAME ME? I need to be REASSURED CONSTANTLY +ves outweigh -ves. If I hear good stuff lots more than bad, I’ll worry less. I’m so sensitive and insecure; just too emotional. How am I to believe what I’ve heard, even from him? Why do I worry so much? It’ because I care so much SO MUCH. I wish I could believe everything said to me. But I think of bad things, anything that goes against what’s been said – so I am curious, and anxious. ← that’s insecurity

Wednesday 31/12/86

Well, Mark rang, after Sharon this morning. He’s (possibly, but most likely) going to Croc. Rock. It was only in town with Sharon that I decided I’d go- (our phone call [with Mark, that is] was not really happy – told him I wasn’t going out.) We met Ben & Robbie A. in Good Time [a local clothing retail store]. I was introduced. We stayed with them the rest of the afternoon. I got really relaxed around them. (Ben, anyway) Robbie really wanted us (me) to meet them tonight. “You gotta go out – my, Ben’s, your first New year’s Eve Out. So I did. We were late (Sharon & I). Ben was there Robbie was at Nighthawkes. Walked there. [to Nighthawkes? From Crocodile Rock? Sheesh, that would’ve been damned long way…] I got in, on my own .. NO SWEAT!! We danced. Ben & Rob are so good at dancing. Then midnight came. Goodbye ’86. You were a really enlightening year. I matured a lot this year. FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT’S STORY, SEE 87 DIARY 1st JAN [I created this ‘strict’ habit of quitting the story, my diary entries, right on midnight. Because – of course – that’s when the years ended, right?]

[Again, in the Notes section I summarised the year and set the scene for 1987:]

1986: This year I have grown up (?) or changed (yes) a lot. So many beneficial things happened due to my shift to Cairns High. I’ve made more friends – males like I’ve never had before. I’ve opened up more – gained in confidence because of it. But a subsequent downfall in schoolwork due to increased (dramatically increased) social life. [I have to admit, I totally nailed it. To this day, even with the benefit of hindsight, I can’t deny that the shift to Cairns High was a notable turning point or life milestone.]

NEXT YEAR I WILL HAVE TO KNUCKLE DOWN. MUCH MORE THOUGHT & CONCENTRATION IS REQUIRED. MY LIFE LIES AHEAD – MY CAREER WILL HAVE TO BE DECIDED. [There’s a hint of the pressure that a lot of teens feel even to this day. Even at 44 years of age, I can totally identify with the stresses many of senior secondary school students feel with regard to their futures. This is most definitely a timeless, universal sentiment.] MANY DECISIONS TO MAKE

LOTS OF HOPE.. NO HELP.

A Primary Reunion, Burnt Belly & Sydney Sojourn (8-14 December)

Published on December 8, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 8/12/86

I realised today that I’ve seen or talked to Mark every single day of the holidays so far; until today. Believe me, I tried not to break the record; I rang just 15mins ago – but it was his fault; [“fault”? Really? Your choice of words is…average] he was at Keith’s – and won’t be back till 10:00, by which time I’ll be asleep – the bags under my eyes are enormous! I tried to get a brown tummy today – after 20 mins I stopped. After lunch, mima came down – spent the rest of the day here – we talked & sunbaked together OUCH! My stomach is the colour of a tomato – NO JOKE! I’m surprised also – I noticed my stomach is smaller! And I’m 59 kilos!! I’m still trying to ‘lose’, tho’. Wanna get a tiny stomach [My stomach was (& kinda still is) the bane of my life …or at least, my least liked area. The females in my family – my mother, sister and I – seem to have a slightly disproportionate amount of body fat sitting on our lower abdomen (something that was reinforced by a fitness professional doing a body fat test on me in my early 20’s). I’m fairly sure it would be a genetic thing – in terms of natural fat distribution – but I’m experimenting with my nutrition to see if certain macro-nutrients affect it more than others.] at least (and a brown one) if this burn peels – I’ll scream! I mean it! [Yep, the only after-effect of sunburn we cared about back then was peeling, and losing our ‘colour’. Skin cancer wasn’t given a thought, even though advertisements were beginning to be aired in the media] Sharon rang after mima left this arvy (we talked a lot!) we’re going to town tomorrow – I’m meeting her at school. I’m gonna wear shorts on my hips & a boob tube! OUCH! 9:07 sunny mostly 2day!!!

Tuesday 9/12/86

I went to town. We didn’t see a movie. Met her at school – on bus, talking to Joannah. At bus stop, Mrs M, Karen & Mrs P→ telling me all about Peter C what he does etc. [When I read this, it made no sense to me at all. I remember the guy’s name, and that he was at in my year at school, but I have absolutely NO idea why these people were telling me about him. I have a feeling it had something to do with trying to pique my interest. Sorry, no hope …as y’all can tell…] We walked round all day. Sharon bought a shirt [from] ‘Double Vision’ [local clothing store] – we might be modelling for them (‘Ha’) Also, Sharon helped me work up guts to ask Vic Mellick [whom I vaguely knew through my father] about casual work [in his men’s clothing store] – no sweat! No work now, but ‘yes’ for new year! Dim & Victor followed us, too. Rather cute (alright) but Mark is best. Caught 5:20 bus home. Nana was here. They told me Mark rang I rang back – talked only a little while – told me how Fitzroy is $22 now. RIP OFF! [That WAS a huge price to pay back then. We had been able to get student discount fares to Green Island for about $6. These days you’re looking at about $70 to get to Fitzroy.] A cabin for 2 is $22.50 per night. [That was also considered relatively expensive (although I’m assuming the idea would have been to split the cost with others – most likely Monique & Cameron at the very least) back then. Those cabins are “long gone” now and there’s really only a resort on the Island, to my knowledge – for which you’d be paying at least $130 per night for the cheapest room.] Were thinking of next Mon, Tues & Wed. but I’ll be gone. Also told him about Friday night. said I’d ring before then. He said “that’d be nice!” BLOODY STOMACH PAIN! Sunburn. Is 10:00 night!

Wednesday 10/12/86

I spent the day at home, nursing my poor sore, burnt, ultra-red, stomach, watching TV and that was about it. I ate little – I’m glad! My appetite is not humungus! (Is that how you spell it?) [Nope. It’s ‘humongous’!] Anyway Monique called and I called Sharon & Mima called. We went to the [Grade One] reunion about 5:00 – I put vitamin E cream on my tummy – it’s good stuff! Not sore at all! Just still a little tender – but that can’t be helped. It was alright – a little boring, but mostly fun. I stayed at [privacy omission]; we wanted to sneak out. I rang Mark from Mr M’s …talked for awhile (I felt proud!!) […proud that I had a GUY …to call …that I didn’t REALLY have to call. I’m actually a bit ashamed now that it I used my host’s (my Grade One teacher – someone I obviously didn’t really know very well) landline to make a non-essential private call during a party. I’d consider that kind of rude now, definitely precocious.] He’s such a honey! We’re going to crystals Friday – he’s ringing me tomorrow night. We were fairly sprung at [privacy omission] – her mum got very suspicious cos of a few stupid things we did so we decided against going out (her mum found the house keys + $5 hidden. SKINT) [Five dollars…really? Even though things did cost a lot less than today, I still wouldn’t’ve thought $5 would even get us a cab to the nearest nightclub, let alone into it (cover charge) and drinks…?]

Thursday 11/12/86

Woken by a phone call for me. Mum picked me up. Dressed at home, after a shower & fresh application of Vit. E cream. She did an ‘errand’ then we withdrew all our money out for our holiday. I got my artwork + cheque for $35 coming – can you believe I got $60 from this art thingy [exhibition]? $44 from my picture ($1 to endeavour foundation) & $16 from painting windows in Fun in the Sun. At home after lunch, I did big fat nothing. All the phone calls tonight! There was rather little gained from them, too! So many calls to be made tomorrow morning . . .my god! Dad, Jenny & Anthony came round – we got a watch (el cheapo) + sterling silver charm bracelet + 2 charms. That I love! It’s absolutely gorgeous – I started packing this arvy – my stomach’s not sore at all – only very lithely [?!] tender! But its starting to peel… 11:50. Late umah! Night!

Friday 12/12/86

Phone calls, yes. Terry picked me up about 9:30-10:00. Patrick O’S + Peter P were there with Mark & Keith (& Monique) We picked up Fi. Was fun at crystals. Mark & I talked, of course. I had to ring him at 8:15 this morning He was tired. So was I, I guess. At home, I mucked round – busied ‘packing’ and sewing. Finally, after lotsa phone calls, and a rush to get ready, went to nana’s. Gave her her presents (my lorikeet picture) [there’s a photo of that piece in this post if you’d like to know what I’m talking about] I met Fi at the shop – we walked into town. Sat for yonks. Finally rang Mark . . he said they’d come ‘now’. They almost had a fight when they got here. Backpackers was too full. When [privacy omission] came back, we sat round the mall doing nothing. Finally, [privacy omission] megan & sharon tried to drag me to Subway Rock – was closed. Mark, Fiona, Keith, Torstein & Daniel went to get pizza – Megan etc. dragged me off to Nighthawkes. Didn’t go in again – [privacy omission] & I walked back to others [crossover to Saturday’s page…]

Saturday 13/12/86

(Megan & Sharon disappeared for the night.) They weren’t there – so we went to Backpackers. Just debating who’d buy the drinks [being underage made most of us highly reticent about approaching the bar, naturally. You had to be good at projecting an air of confidence] when the others came. We all crowded round a tiny table .. soon Torstein & Daniel went, then Mark, Keith & I sat until the people told us they were locking up. [I think the place used to close at midnight back then] Talking, mucking around …we went to Yanks [a coffee shop in town that was pretty much the only thing open – apart from nightclubs – past midnight.] Stayed for ages – soon Mark got shitty – we left. They barely said goodbye when I got in the taxi. Slept at 1:30. Woke 7:00. Rushing round this morning – taping music, packing. Lotsa phone calls. Fi & Monique said goodbye. So did Keith. He apologised about last night. Mark could’ve, at least. After all, it was his fault. I felt really sad about not ringing him when I left. Dunno whether to write him a letter or not (Moni said yes) Plane trip was a little boring .. I read ([had a] Big lunch!) & listened to music & comedy [channels. Back in the day, “in-flight entertainment” consisted of a pair of disposable headphones that plugged into your armrest giving you access to about 8 various music & comedy ‘radio’ channels – on ‘loop’]. In Sydney [visiting family], we drove round awhile looking at places. Unpacked & watched TV (I don’t remember anything!) Walked to shop. Had a bath. Now 9:50 (8:50 in Cairns – Qld) [the whole ‘daylight savings’ thing was a novelty for me: Queenslanders have never had to change their clocks for Summer. It’s actually a contentious issue because the southern part of Queensland – where the majority of the state’s population reside – experience similar daylight changes and in particular, the cities on the border with NSW (southern Gold Coast & Tweed Heads) struggle with time differences economically (businesses) and socially (schools et al)] MISSING THEM ALREADY

Sunday 14/12/86

I was still very tired today (mostly now) It’s only 10:00 (9:00 in Qld) Jodie’s working tonight – short notice. We went on the boat [yacht]. Julia was sick – anchored at “7 shillings” Beach near/at Double Bay. We lay in the sun (but mostly in the shade all day) slept a bit. Julia was too sick to go back on the boat, so caught a taxi with mum. Jodie & I were too exhausted so we went with them. Watched TV (the rest of Bachelor Party on video) Got a little browner today – a little burnt! Have a headache still. My neck is burnt, as is my face – but that’s it. Still really tender near my left boob- looks like a rash of some sort. Hafta get lotsa sleep tonight. I am missing Cairns. Will have to get down to some letter writing when I get postcards tomorrow. Esp. mima & fiona’s. I need to write lists of who to write letters to and get prezzies for. Wish Mark & I hadn’t left on bad terms. His fault. I keep wanting to ring him.

Holiday Hangs with the Hombres (1-7 December)

Published on December 1, 2014 by Elissa Coxen2 Comments

Monday 1/12/86

Slept like a baby last night. [Here I revert to recording how the rest of my Sunday – the previous day – was spent. Because I had so heavily encroached upon Sunday’s allotted page in the description of what happened at Saturday night’s party (& how I felt about it) there was very little space left for Sunday’s entry.] Mum took moni home, [I am assuming from the exhibition set-up] I grabbed my gear [from her place] and did nothing at home. Cried when I heard “Emotion in Motion” [an obscure single by Ric Ocasek, the lead singer of the band The Cars. Have a listen if you like…] on Take 40. Really sad.

[Back to Monday, the current day:] Today I rushed so much. Went round with mum – got dress (satin-black) material. [My mum made my dress (pictured) that day. In one day. She really could sew, but didn’t believe enough in herself Hmm, wonder who took after her? Or “learnt by example”?] At school of arts, helped set up – went off now & then for “window shopping” – gonna buy these $53 togs in Sportsgirl – gorgeous white with blue stars. Mark snubbed me again (I was really wondering) then fussed around town (Monique & Trina caught their bus – I browsed round till mine came) Rushed at home; so many phonecalls!! Got to exhibition around 7:15. Mark looked really nice! Mum talked to him – Sharon’s fault. [Fault? Not the best choice of words.. I’m fairly sure she was trying to do you a favour] I talked a little to begin with, more after (Esp. after!) Mrs B bought my fat ladies … auntie Ruth’s gonna buy my diptych! That’s $135! After, Sharon, Megan & I (and M & Keith) wanted to go out. I told mum backpacker’s. [“Backpacker’s” was originally a cheap ‘restaurant’ for …backpackers (tourists) but its popularity led to an extended bar license and eventually a nightclub, in the additional downstairs area. It was a popular nightlife venue for many years. My mum allowed me to go out underage, based on a system of Trust: she said she would rather know where I was than have me lie to her. The condition was I always had to tell her where I was and contact her if anything was going to change. So I respected her by staying put at Backpacker’s that night.] .Sharon & Mege. disappeared to Subwayrock. M. & K & me sat in backpackers talking. He loves Lady in Red [by Chris DeBurgh. It became one of my favourites after this night. It’s obvious why, no?] – was sitting so I talked to K. after he was looking at me. Sharon’s going to beach with him & K. tomorrow & crystals on Wed. Nice, huh? [Jealousy] And I paid for practically all the taxi fare home. [Outrageous!] It’s 12:30. Something K. said in backpackers made me wonder again tho’. “When he’s drunk or bored he talks crap – spins shit.” gave an example at one party “”I can see your soul in the moon…”” sounds bloody familiar to me [!!] & I told him. But he said nothing. I don’t think he heard (or pretended not to.) Nite

Tuesday 2/12/86

I’m tired, now. Today, I rang monique to ask about time we go in to look after exhibition sales [all of the CAD kids were ‘rostered’ to caretake the exhibition and manage sales of the works over the period of showing, being school holidays now’n’all…] – she asked me in for a swim. At 11:00 mum dropped me there. After a swim & lunch we went. Cameron, Chris, Glyn and Alan B were there for a little while – Heather & Marj, for longer. Otherwise, we sat from 1:00 to 4:30 – doing nothing. So BORING! But I got my togs! I LOVE THEM! Sharon rang when Mrs P dropped me home (we saw M. coming out of Trobruk Pool) (I was going to ring her [Sharon, that is] anyway) They did go to the beach. Keith, her & Mark. And ‘anyway’ … she asked me if I’d like to go to Crystals tomorrow Mark is inviting the guys – Sharon, the girls. But there’s been no info given tonight, on how we’re getting there etc. oh well. G night!!

Wednesday 3/12/86

After lotsa phone calls, a big panic (or 2), Terry picked me up. There was Mark, Keith, Terry, Glynn, Cameron, Chris & Monique. I didn’t talk to Mark at Crystals, at all. We left early – before lunch cos Terry had to work & we (7) couldn’t fit with Brent, mima, Fi in Brent’s suzuki hatch (they had to work too, anyway) Terry dropped us at Freshy Creek. We bought ‘food’, then monique rang her mum [to collect us?] .. mandy & bill were ‘hailed down’ by Cameron. We piled in – they dropped us near Mark’s place. The guys rode – we ‘sneaked’ bikes off them. At monique’s we swam & mucked around. Glynn left for work, we played badminton Keith left. Chris, Mark, Cameron, Monique & I played more badminton (when M. & I played Mon. & Chris, we flogged ’em! – talked quite a bit – miscellaneous) In the pool, when mum came. I went home, packed, and went to dinner at Aunty Ruth & Nancy’s [my grandmother’s sisters, so actually my great-aunts] – leaving tomorrow. mum drank (all did) so I was late. [I wonder: late because mum drank and didn’t want to leave? Or because she drank, she had to wait to drive? In those days it was hard to tell; drink driving wasn’t quite the huge public concern it is now…] I rang monique’s – I’d forgotten to tell her the guys were coming over for videos – she had none. Mark talked to me! (moni told me he wanted to; asked “can I talk to her?”) I embarrassed them. [So he only wanted to speak to me to scold me?] Anyway finally dragged mum out … [she was] shitty with me [of course: being a spoilt, nagging little brat!]→ [another crossover to the next day…]

Thursday 4/12/86

Mark had ridden home & gotten videos from his house. It was a good night – [the boys] stayed till 2:30 Ate & mucked around – mark was begin nice but a little rough – but I know he didn’t really mean anything. (??) It was good. Slept at 3:00 – woke 11:00. Camille made us brekky – big! (Full!) we lazed in front of T.V. the rest of the day! lazy, lazy, lazy! At about 430, Cameron rang, from Mark’s. They talks to us for ages – monique talked lots; I listened to the music. I’m hopeless on the phone! (monique’s gotten over her phone phobia, I’m sure! She was on it the longest) I was bored – I wish we had 2 [phone] extensions (her, I mean) then we could’ve both been in on what was said. ‘Apparently’, a bit of bad was said about me – none about moni! Anyway, I stayed at monique’s again. Mr. & Mrs P. were out at Innisfail for the night. We got out Real Genius video. Pity we didn’t ring the guys [You sneaky little thing – I know what you were thinking! No parents = ?!?!?] They probably wouldn’t’ve believed us if we said we were having another video night! Got to bed about 11:00 (sleep) overcast day again.

Friday 5/12/86

Today was overcast, too (for most of the day) I woke around 8:30; Camille’s boyfriend Lyndon was at the door – Louis [their dog] barking at him. Monique in the shower. We did ‘nothing’ till about 10:00, when we watched Real Genius again – great movie – god, Val Kilmer’s gorgeous! (So’s Tom Cruise, of course; [yeah, back in the day he wasn’t a Scientology loony etc, so was much more attractive] then again, Mark W comes close tie!) Lyndon dropped Monique & I in town (spotted Mark & them in Tuck High (I mean, High Tuck shop) after searching for material, we walked to school to get our reports But CAD kids’ are getting sent home next week, apparently. We started walking home; Mrs P. drove by & picked us up. At monique’s, helped clean up room, then had a dip in the pool. Monique’s at my place now. We rang Cameron (Mark was there; great!) talked for awhile (monique the most, still!!) Mark is so nice! His voice is so beautiful! They want us to ring ’em back tomorrow! Ace! Sharon’s [birthday] party…!! too! Will probly be another late night tonight.

Saturday 6/12/86

Woke early. But rang the guys back around ?? 10:30. Blabbed [Aussie slang for ‘talking’ in this case, otherwise it means ‘telling on’ or ‘snitching’] for yonks. After we hung up, a phone call from Sharon informed us the party wasn’t on. To cut a long story short, there were lots of phone calls. Finally, we decided Mark, Cam. me & monique would have a ‘video’ night at her place instead of going to the party (which was on, again) or to Cameron’s [??] & for me, Sharon’s BBQ [Monique not invited? I think that was the case]..Went to Perrems about 5:30. Was excited! However, mima called from Sharon’s wanting to know why ‘we’ weren’t there. we said “no transport” “Come with Mark & Terry” [“What?” I’d’ve been thinking…] Rang Mark – he said he was still coming.. Lied so much to sharon Am never gonna do that again. [And I’m not really a great liar anyway. I’m “too honest”.] Anyway, we made the food, the guys came. We started to watch one vid. Mark listened to music. It was like that most of the night; Mark listening to music no matter what we did. Once I looked in the pool – Chris & Glynn were in there. Monique got upset that they ‘gate-crashed’ [a bit miffed about being excluded from the ‘foursome’?] – they went but she rang them back [she’s all heart] (at→ [crossover to Sunday’s page…]

Sunday 7/12/86

Cameron’s) & asked them to come over. Keith also came. they finally left – the Perrems came home. Drank coffee & we mucked round. Finally all went to bed ..Mark wouldn’t give me my pillow. fighting… Mon. got me one – then no room on the lounge – I got my mattress from her room. Mark squished me. . we ‘tickled’ each other while m. & c. slept on couch – for ages – ears, nose, eyebrows, neck, feet and (not much but shit when it was) ribs/waist. See, the thing was, most of it was quite gentle. And we were so close… faces sometimes about 2cm apart!! But “nothing” happened. [No kissing, I would’ve meant..] Still, I don’t mind …it was still very nice!! Woke early – mark got me in the ribs, before ‘rolling over’ Cameron got “hyper” and everyone soon woke. Spent the day in much the same fashion as night, except Mark wasn’t alone so much (at all) we listened to music, swam, ate & even had a trip to the shop – saw elisia – told her they slept over – MISTAKE [see? I’m not ”strategic’ enough to be a great liar!] .. Mrs P. said Brewers & Ennises were altogether at Palm Cove… What if she told mima? Anyway they left 2:30, we slept mum picked me up. Rang Sharon. a little sticky situation – not much. watched “Coolangatta Gold”. What will I do tomorrow, or; all this week? Nothing is planned.

Flat Tops, Failing & Friends on the Phone (17-23 November)

Published on November 17, 2014 by Elissa Coxen1 Comment

Monday 17/11/86

Boring day. Mark I saw once (had a haircut – Cameron too; Flat top!! [ah, the old flat-top! Think ‘Ice-Man’ in Top Gun] Looks cute!!) Wasn’t at parade – just at the beginning of little lunch briefly. Talking to Cameron, Glynn, Chris & David lunch hour – everyone was gone – mima & Fiona & lots left after double chemistry. Monique & I did nothing. Studied chem a bit tonight and can understand most of what I’ve learnt (or read) Hope I can get the rest done tomorrow. Is only 9:00, but bags under my eyes make me go to bed. Talking to Chris & Cameron in maths – Cameron & Mark had a big fight Friday arvy. Chris did with Duane, too I think. said something about mark – Chris said “Have you talked to mark?” I said “what about?” He said “you know that night” I didn’t answer. [Perhaps not just because I may not have known what (which night) he was referring to, but also whether he was just…baiting?] Cameron said something can’t remember, but wasn’t positive. Got me wondering. Cameron’s always going on lately about how good a friend I am.. wonder If he was trying to say something [Haha, this young girl has not yet learnt that males don’t “drop hints”. Don’t read into everything, Liss.]

Tuesday 18/11/86

Fail. Written all over my brain. I could not do anything. It’ll be a miracle if I pass – a doggone miracle. Boring day. Not actually; studied this morning, but went to school around 12:00. Stayed talking to Monique. Then walked up to exam room with Heather, Linda & Justine (Cameron a little of the way) Is hot (had a big thunderstorm – lightning etc…) Raining lots – I got saturated! Caught bus home with Fi. Monique rang in the arvy. Talked about miscellaneous stuff. In shower, I got a phone call from a guy. Julia didn’t get name or anything. Cameron forgot to ring back – lucky I rang him. Talked abit about Moni – lots about miscellaneous – didn’t get any news ’bout mark ‘cept that he really likes Fiona a lot as a friend. “Jealousy?” Was Cameron trying to make me jealous? [Highly, highly unlikely!] Asked about what he’d said in maths – said I was hearing things. [The boys often said that. It simply means either “I don’t want to tell you” or more likely “I don’t remember”.] Thank God. (?) It’s 9:15. Gotta go.

Wednesday 19/11/86

Monique rang 4 times. For most of the time we talked about nothing in particular – sometimes not even talking. [This is another of the defining characteristics of our friendship, and it is said that this kind of sitting in silence is the stuff of true friendship: total comfort in each others’ presence. Monique was the first person with whom I’d ever experienced this ease, this depth of peace – besides my mother & sister of course. Mind you, I also hate being on the phone these days so this particular experience is unlikely to be replicated.] I’m ashamed to say I wasted the day. I did very little maths study and no art (practically) – no english or anything. I ate one hell of a lot I think I’d better stick to the diet again – I’ve gone up to 62kgs again. So it’s been a waste of time. Waste of a day. I can’t believe how restless I get when studying. Wish Mark’d ring. Or even just Cameron. In a way I envy monique yet I think she envies me – that I can get on so well with him, so easily – like I envy Fiona and her friendship with Mark. I wonder if he envies Cameron? Wouldn’t that be nice? [No, it wouldn’t. Too much envy, too much Wanting!] Hottish day. Shoulda done some exercise – reading about it in a magazine – really good for all aspects of your life – fitness mentally, physically, socially… [Well isn’t this interesting? Perhaps a crack in the door opening to my future fitness career? Well thank you, trashy magazine!] Is about 9:20. English tomorrow SHIT!

Thursday 20/11/86

It’s 12:30. I’ve been doing maths. I just finished reading over bio notes and now I have to get started on my art – my fingers are rather ‘slow’ – I can’t write quickly – ah, yes I can… leaning on the table! Got another letter from Delanie; she writes back fast enough. Talking ’bout mark – she reckons we’re both flipped over each other, but are ‘playing games’ esp. Mark. [Haha, that’s so cute: a friend who knows nought but what I tell her (my one-sided story, full of hope & guesses) analyses & concludes in my favour. Ain’t friendship grand?!] I saw him briefly today before english exam (each! – Dunno if I passed – didn’t do too well.) Wasted this arvy, kind of, too. But I got a little worried about maths. After a phonecall to Fi, I was a little reassured and got ‘stuck into it’. There’s not much (well, there is really) that I can’t do – I just have to think – trouble is, you don’t get time in exams!! Hope I’m not too tired to do my maths & bio. Boy will I be glad when tomorrow’s over! Not really; still have my art to do. OH NO!

Friday 21/11/86

Boy, am I tired now! It’s 10:10. I failed maths; there were so many things I couldn’t do. Saw Mark a little. Lunchtime – all of us (YR11 group – who were there) sat in the library ‘studying’ – yacking! (talking) [I don’t recall our librarians being big on telling people to ‘Shhhh”!] He was in my room for bio. It was fairly simple – I’ll pass – probably only give me an HA [High Achievement] overall this sem. cos I couldn’t do a few Q’s. [Ah, there’s a hint of potential dissatisfaction with regard to my grades. I thought that concern had died with the advent of my social life; that all I cared about now was simply passing. No, the Perfectionist is not dead.] After, talking to people Mark & Cameron hangin’ round. Cameron talks to me a lot. Then they went. We (Monique, Sharon, mim, Fi & I) went to mime’s to watch video tape of Last night’s Return to Eden, which I’d watched anyway. Then, dropped home, got ready & went into town. On way in we passed bill & mum was sure Cameron was in the front seat. (GREAT!) Bought new album 1987 Let’s Party [one of my favs!] and had tea at Pizza Corner Played record at home; was always looking out the louvres, hoping to see Cameron walk up the street. [As. If.] Hope he is at his dad’s place!! Maybe Mark’ll go over tomorrow. [Always wishin’] Finish a reply letter to Delanie 2morrow

Saturday 22/11/86

Did another piece for art – my lorikeet (well, something like that) is possibly my best work!! I spent the whole morning on it. I have 4 left to do. When Nana and (great) auntie Nancy & Uncle Raymond and Ruth came over, I ate. I shouldn’t have but I did. Raymond was looking at some of my work – I showed them all my ‘exhibit’, I think they might buy! [No, they were just ‘encouraging’] made lotsa phone calls about Sean’s party – Monique tried to get Cameron & the guys to go but was unsuccessful. Still went tho’. Monique & I were driven by mum to Sharon’s (monique got ready at my place) & Mrs Weeks took us there. It was … alright. Boring, yes. But not to the point of suicide. About 100 I think, turned up. I shouldn’t have drunk again. I got happy (was keeling now & then) I was eventually fine. [Hmmm, I don’t remember this one. Mind you, I suppose it’s silly to think you’ll remember every party you attend in your life… especially when you’re drinking at them…] But we scabbed a lift home with Justine at 2:00 (most people had gone or were going by then- ) Boring!! About 3:00 I got to sleep.

Sunday 23/11/86

Waste of a day. I started a piece of work. It progressed. But when I finished it tonight, Geoff pointed out something wrong. [This rings bells to me but I just can’t remember what that piece was] I tried to fix it but stuffed it up instead. So I scrunched it up & threw it away. I was a little upset, too. [You don’t say?] Monique left around 10:00 this morning (riding home) Boring day. I ate chocolate cake and chips. I think I’ll have to forget being really strict on my diet→ on the holidays it’s too hard. I’ll still try to balance what I do eat & “substitute” etc. [I’d love to know what I meant by that – “substitute” – back then. I’m quite certain there’d be a difference in meaning now.] Oh, I wish I could’ve gotten more art done. Don’t think I’ll get much finished. And, god, when am I going to get everything ‘framed’? How much will it cost?? OH NO! (Get dad to pay. He really should) [Of course, living with mum meant she forked out more in the act of rearing us. It’s almost unavoidable for the supporting parent, no matter how much the other may contribute via ‘maintenance payments’. This only intensifies my respect for her.] Can’t wait for the next weeks ahead (days) Befriend Mark, Elissa (your ambition for the week)