The Dark Room, A Day Off & Friction at the Fete (4-10 May)

Monday 4/5/87

LABOUR DAY Holiday! Well, I woke around what would it have been? …7:30? Yep! And I wasted the day . . did nothing in particular until Mark rang at 11:40. We talked for a while, and decided he’d come over. Aaaargh! I let him read my ’86 diary (tho’ I regretted it) and then he wanted to read my ’87 diary . . I really felt embarrassed (he read the bit about Robbie) [the New Year’s Eve pash] but he ignored it. Took him to work at 2:30. A Life in WordsHe rang me in the afternoon… Then again tonight. And he admitted (with my “encouragement”) that he did like me since I came [to Cairns High]. We talked a fair bit & I’ve decided to let him read my ’86 diary . . I’ll take it for him tomorrow. I trust him not to show or tell anybody what it says. I think he’s becoming more attached to me than ever. . spending much more time together. . getting on even better. Have written about ½ a foolscap [for the youngsters who don’t know what it’s like to write assignments by hand, foolscap is a standard paper size] for english & I have to have it in tomorrow or I’m in deep trouble. Don’t reckon I’ll get it finished. oh shit!

Tuesday 5/5/87

I hate school – at school our relationship is different .. it’s at school all the problems happen. It was O.K. till double bio … he just got “pen-happy”. Nikko [permanent marker pen] all over me. I disregarded that .. at big lunch Keith made a smart comment about a diary.. I thought maybe Mark had said something to him about reading my diaries.. [I would probably have thought the same now too…too ‘coincidental’…] so when I confronted him about it . .he got kind of cheesed off ..”thanks for not trusting me”. Me & my big mouth & my jumping to conclusions. How can I get him to believe that I trust him if I keep saying & doing silly things (like worrying unnecessarily)A Life in Words [but could this ‘unneccesary’ worry be a ‘disguised’ gut feeling?] Because I DO. [Oh you so DON’T!] I’ve got to make him see that. I just worry & think the worst of situations.. something I’ll have to try & grow out of. [So, using Pessimism as the excuse now?] Well ..didn’t do any HW tonite Dad let me invite Mark for wedding! UNREAL, HUH?! (If he still wants to go) [←now if THIS wasn’t a gut instinct…read on…] & in the same room in the hotel!!! [Uh huh…at your DAD’s wedding. Elissa, even if your father was ‘cool’ with it, the likelihood of any young buck having the courage to do anything is pretty slim. What young man isn’t a tad ‘wary’ of his girlfriend’s father?] Julia told me she overheard Nicole talking to friend in H.P.E about Mark .. saying something like how she talked to him & tried to get him away from me. POOR GIRL. Never! He is mine. He loves me (& I, of course, ♥ him!) TANIA’S BACK!!! Late nite. Slept badly last night. Gave Mark my ’86 diary today.

Wednesday 6/5/87

He came late today. In bio, it was not too good, bad [←not a typo, it was actually what I’d written. I would’ve meant ‘but’] was not necessarily bad either .. on way to art was O.K. Not there at little lunch. Before maths, an absolute drag (see, in 4th p. art .. Elisia & I stayed in dark room to process negatives, & were very late for next lesson -english thank god! – so  stayed in dark room with Mrs. M’s consent till 6th p. thought I was late, so ran up & burst into a year 11 class – Mr K (Chris’ dad) the teacher! Shame!) [I don’t remember this at all but I can imagine it as scene in a teen high school movie] I told him about that & he looked at me as if I was stupid so I “sulked” in maths.. am sure at one stage, I caught him looking at me & felt worse, still. Big lunch – [He] went to buy his lunch & when he came back talked little  before going again.. A Life in Wordsback to say ‘goodbye’ v. nicely too. Wow. Aerobics I got a cramp, but was a bit better than last week. Mr G. dropped us home again (I apologized for missing the [english] lesson then) Tania finally rang me ≈5:00 & picked me up. Tea at her place. FOOTSTEPS TO FAME [Cairns High’s annual ‘talent quest’ concert] was excellent! So many people (supportive cos of the crash, I reckon) [highly likely] Mark wasn’t there- said he wasn’t going anyway. When I told him the good news about him being invited to dad’s wedding, he (& I knew it’d happen) said “I don’t know if I should” All this stuff about family etc. [as I said earlier, I had a feeling “…if he still wants to go”…] After all the trouble I went to… [Trouble? Meaning the ‘challenge’ of asking my father?]

Thursday 7/5/87

Today was, indeed, different. I missed the bus, planning to miss 1st period…biology (to do my english assignment & get out of handing in my Rat. prac.) then, when Roger M dropped the car in, mum could take me in. But the car never came. We heard from Roger after 12:00 (too late for me to catch a town bus in.. what’s the point of being there for 2 lessons?) so I stayed home. Tried to do english (I’m really having trouble doing this bloody assignment) but, when I gave up I stuck cards in my camp scrapbook. A Life in WordsA Life in WordsJules came home (raining all day) & told me Mark had asked about me. I rang & talked briefly with Fi. Mark rang around 5:00, I think… was O.K. got ready & he & Keith (K. got his license (P’s) today!) drove round & picked me up. A bit yukky at first, at Earlville, but O.K. after. To town for a pizza, then home around 9:30 I think. Keith & Mark stayed for a cuppa coffee. Cutey. Gorgeous Marky. Left a little while ago (Is 10:35) …actually, about 40 mins or so, ago. Purity [I’d’ve meant ‘pretty’ but deliberately spelled it wrong to insinuate a ‘drawl’ (‘purr-itty’) unaware I was using another actual (unrelated) word] good day. Tomorrow will be even better!!!

Friday 8/5/87

Caught the bus in (Mark came with Keith) Double eng. just didn’t get assignment done, so finished it in 3rd period-art & handed it in at little lunch. Double art next was fun- in darkroom.. mucking round Steven, Jamie D, Keith, Mark. Got dirty – paint on the navy shorts & on my long sleeved grandpa shirt. Big lunch a bludge – can’t remember much (raining lots) Ingrid & I painted the donut sign in 6th & 7th (Mark & Steven visited) waited for the footy match to umbrella off mum. CHS won of course-pouring rain- people huddling under umbrellas. Fete was boring sold lotsa donuts. Went to Fi’s shop & got dressed. At fete again saw Mark — he went to ‘booze’ up with the others. Came to dance again round 8:45. Danced, rested, danced. He went off to the loo .. was gone almost (or more than) 1 hr. Michael B said he saw him with Tricia. I got upset; telling people. When Mark came back, took me outside & revved me about Trust. (Keith’d told him I thought they were doing something) So he got angry & I cried. A Life in WordsHe told me he loved me so much. [Here I basically quoted a lot of what Mark said to me in the talk that ensued and I have chosen to ‘omit’ parts to respect his privacy.] Even Terry said “you don’t believe anything between Mark & TriciaHe loves you heaps.. so much.” Later he’d said things like [apologies, but again I feel I must omit some of the things he said, to respect his privacy] “…[omission]. It was the night I’d hoped to get with you..I so badly wanted you to go to that party. [omission] ..and now more than ever….[omission] This is long overdue .. we should’ve been together earlier.. if one of us had said how we felt ..because we both felt the same .. I stopped reading your 86 diary because I felt [omission] so bad seeing how hurt you were.” Then we danced. Rested. I danced & came back. He was crying. Said he was going & walked home in the→ [I crossed over to the next page…]

Saturday 9/5/87

rain. Wouldn’t let Keith drive him…wanted to  walk. Wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.. left at 12:15 (Beka & Alan D are doin’ great!!!) Looks like Cameron & Nicole too. I think. Slept almost as soon as I got home. Woke around 10:10 this morning … read ’86 diary, up to where Mark said he’d stopped. [trying to ascertain what he may have ‘experienced’ as he read…] Otherwise watched music shows on TV till about 1:30 or 2:00 Thinking about the beautiful things he’d said & I feel really guilty ..I stuff things up all the time. [No, you don’t. It takes two to tango.] I’d asked him why he never admitted that he’d liked me & he said “I don’t know.” He said he’d thrown out his ’86 diary (not a really secretive one like mine, but not just a school diary) but I was all through it. I’m sure people were looking at us. We were just at the bottom of the steps [of Croswell Hall] outside the main entrance during the bulk of the fight. & when I cried. Went to pick up my bag from Fi’s.. could only have a very short talk to her. Read diary at home again – finished it. Did nothing but that all day. Mark didn’t ring me. I rang at 7:30, Mrs W. said he was at Keith’s relative’s 21st birthday party. And he was working from 9:00 tomorrow. So I watched TV tonight. Am kind of upset in a small way that he didn’t ring me. I wish I knew what was wrong. Rainy all day again. very cool. Wasted day, really. Hope he rings me tomorrow.. from work at least. Please, Mark: I love you so much .. let me know what’s troubling you. It’s me, I bet. It’s just after 12:00.

Sunday 10/5/87

A terrible day. I woke, wondering if he’d ring me But I rang him (around 11:30) in the end. And it was a very short call.. just as I’d thought: he was not at all talkative. I hung up disappointed. Cried so much. Then rang him later to get Keith’s phone number then I got upset with him.. hung up on a really terrible note. Rang Keith [seeking answers]. He said he was just in one of his moods..not angry with anyone in particular ..just angry. I felt better, a bit. Went to visit Nana [I’m fairly sure that by this time, she had moved into a nursing home community – residing in her own unit however, not yet interred in a ‘ward’…] (I did nothing today. Nothing at all, except cry & worry) came back wondered if I should ring & apologise. Made mum dinner …finally after 8:00, got on to Fi.. she said ring him. I did. I found out it was me he was disappointed with. So I feel really terrible again. Rang Fi back after & talked. I’m such an idiot. I HATE MYSELF. HATE. [This was written boldly, and the second ‘HATE’ took up two lines on the page. Evidently I felt pretty strongly at the time… but oh, so potentially damaging…] I hurt him. & me. too much. A Life in WordsNot looking forward to school 2morrow. I feel terrible Need lots of sleep. I’m gonna die of an ulcer before I’m 20. [Clearly that hasn’t happened… but I’m surprised! I really was an expert worrier…]

An Emotional Rollercoaster & a Shitty Babysitting Experience (14-20 July)

Monday 14/7/86

Everyone was talking about the party (or at least, the formal) “Everyone” did something on Saturday night. I feel so ‘depressed’. Donna said Mark was there & when I wondered if he was with anybody she said “I’m not saying anything”. A Life in WordsBut later said she “truly didn’t know” (Everyone was pissed) And Fiona & them had a great time at the formal (she got home 6:00 in the morning!) And Sharon gave me my present (as did Sandy & Monique) and talked to me again. Nothing has been said about ‘it’. We’re buddies again (…) And Fiona, Jemima, Brent & guess who …Cameron are going to the show together. How more depressing. I’ll go with Sharon & probably never “see” Mark . . . Oh, I’m so depressed. 9:45. School photos Blech. I am the tallest in our form Fuck it [Yep, I hated being tall. After all, it makes you stand out more. And I’m super-shy, remember?] I don’t think I like Mark anymore. I feel kind of “cheated”. [!!] It’d never work; we’re too shy And he probably doesn’t like me very much anyway. [So easy for me to fall into ‘despair’]

Tuesday 15/7/86

Boring Boring Boring . . I’ve decided I don’t care (very much) for Mark anymore . . . I probably really do (actually, I do) but I like people thinking “I’m crazy”. [okay. I don’t understand THAT] I’m tired. It’s 10:30. Things with him are in a different perspective now. Also, because mima & Brent wanted to go to the show on their own, Fi, Cameron & me (and Sharon & Adam G too, I s’pose) are going together (Gonna ask Fi to hint to Cameron about Mark…!! Ha Ha. Very funny. It’s raining. And it’s rather hot. might sleep in-the-nick tonight!! Probably not. Boring day. Did no (only Chem.) HW. Umah – I’m too lazy (and HOT) Bloody tired. Big black bags under my eyes, betcha!!! SHOW!! I love it!! Feel, in a way tho that I’m still intruding on Fiona & Cameron. A Life in WordsMonique left at big lunch to go to Townsville for her ballet exams 2morrow. GOOD LUCK MONI! Feel Jemima’s not happy with me either OH WELL 8:45

Wednesday 16/7/86

Officially declared BAD DAY. (1) And most important … Mark is going out with Tricia D. I told you I knew he’d been with someone at the party… the problem is, he’s still with her. Why? What a bastard. This proves one of 3 things he either didn’t like me as much as everyone reckons, or if he did, he’s being bloody selfish in going out with Trisha just for [one reason] or (3) he’s trying to make me  jealous (which is stupid & wouldn’t work anyway – I don’t get jealous – I’m sensitive – I get hurt) SO NOW I’ve plastered “Mark W; bastard” etc all over the place. [“All over the place” would have been in non-public places. I still wouldn’t want to burn my bridges…] Fuck him. I like Cameron. . he makes an effort to talk to me. And he’s funny & I’m going to the show with him. [?!!! but he’s not into you!] But I’m not gonna try’n’make Mark jealous. [psssh! ha ha ha] It’ll probably turn him off like he did to me (as you can see, I still care) And Donna did know .. she just didn’t want to hurt me.. (2) mima had a big fight with her mum & ran away but when I rang there around 8:15, she was home but in conference with her mum

[In the Notes section at the back of my diary, I added the following – as an ‘answer’ – to some thoughts I had penned a week or two earlier (nothing here is dated other than the month) when I was in a more positive frame of mind about Mark:]

Whoa, girlie!!! With all this about Tricia, you really can’t be so sure anymore. Could you ever trust this guy enough?? Is he the answer to your dreams? No? Yes? What are you??

Thursday 17/7/86

Now I don’t know what to think. (we rode to school late this morning: 8:15 & took it slowly..) mima was upset & Fiona went with her fo[r] console they missed Yr11 parade & ½ of pd 1. So Cameron sat next to me. We talked. Got onto Mark. I said something like “Dickhead” C: That’s not nice me: I know… C: He likes you… me: I’ve known that for a long time. He went on telling me about how he likes me, and is only going out with Trish cos he feels obligated [Omission of  facts about others, here] Also.. I find out from Becca G that everybody knows I like Mark. [With hindsight it’s easy to condemn myself for being so naive..] Great, huh?!! Sharon is so unreliable. I know it was her, even tho she denied it. [..and then to blame someone else for something that would have been so easily perceived by others. She was also not the only person who knew…] Also Cameron rang about Fiona – he really likes her a lot & is worried about the show. I eventually convinced him to still go. Is 9:35…!!! I maths, Cameron & Chris told me how much they hate Sharon. So many people do. It’s unbelievable!! Cameron also knows everything about how I feel about Mark – I’ve “begged” him not to tell [Ha! Who’s his alliance likely to lie with, Elissa? You or his best mate?]

Friday 18/7/86A Life in Words

♥ It was alright!! (The show, that is…) Firstly, today I listened to music did a bit of HW and got ready. I was bloody excited… would Mark be there?? If so, with or without Tricia? Picked up everybody, swapped into cars at Monique’s and went. Big group… but soon Monique, Sandy, Chris & Glyn left. So Cameron, Fi, Sharon & Adam G, me (& mima and brent later on) went on everything [amusement park rides]. we (cameron, adam & I) stood off while the others went on the zipper [That ride – pictured right – was always my most feared. I think to this day, I’ve only ever been on it once]. Then he came … all night I wanted to see him, but was too shy to talk (or even look at him) Yes, Tricia was there, but at the end she wasn’t and we went on dodgems. (not him & I – all of us) And walked to the gates together. Mima told me the things he said about me. Mima: Isn’t Lissa gorgeous? Mark: (without hesitation; very hastily answering, determinedly) Yes! (And then Trish came. Gave mima very dirty looks all nite) Also mima: cameron: where’s elissa? Mark (quickly) up there.. mima: keeping your eye on her. Mark: you bet.

Saturday 19/7/86

I will never babysit again in my life!! Screaming babies I just cannot hack. Don’t go telling me I’ll never be able to cope with children, tho… [I just don’t like loud noises in general…] we finally got her to lie down & she’s going to go to sleep I think. Poor kid; I understand how frightened she is. Mum (& her mum) are at a National Trust Dinner. I’ll scream if they’re too late. I wanted an early night in the first place. Fuck that. I did nothing today. I just didn’t know what to do (in the way of an english assignment… my maths is driving me up the wall) And, of course, my day wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t spend some time thinking about Mark!! It’s 8:50 now; god knows what time I’ll get to bed. I am bloody tired, too. Last night it was 12:05 when I turned off my lamp!!! I’m thinking a bit about Mark & me. I don’t think we’d be very good… to start with, we find it hard to talk to each other….what next?

Sunday 20/7/86

Got to sleep around 11:45…. that baby …oooh! We only managed to make her happy (& occupied) in the last 45 mins or so. Otherwise we ignored her & she cried (screamed) or (mostly) sat on the couch keeping quiet. She also shit herself & even when mum came home, we didn’t want to try & change her nappy in case she kicked up another stink (it was too late in the night for that) I fell asleep just after mum & julia had successfully changed her nappy & her parents came. [It’s no surprise that my sister assisted in the nappy-changing; she was and is very maternal. Me not so much. Obviously.] Today I did big fat NOTHING. I had maths & english but I did none of both. What a pisshead. I kept thinking “what will I do?” for my english ..I have no idea. So I haven’t even started. Mr G will have fun revving me tomorrow. Getta move on. Just watched the movie. Umah!! Is 10:45 My, my, my …. think a lot about Mark. Would it (us) work? Really?

Black Tights & Exploding Bubblegum (10-16 June)

Monday 10/6/85 [Queen’s Birthday Holiday]

Got all my history exams questions done. It took all day, however. Had a little trouble with maths. English & History exams tomorrow, though. My neck is out. Boring study today. ate little, but wot it was, was fattening. Is late; 9:30. Must go to bed, now. Don’t wanna run late tomorrow. Weather is getting warmer again, too. Wind has dropped a little, too. Julia had trouble studying, I tried to help her – but being stubborn, & couldn’t penetrate her skull. the dry patches on my skin are healing up! I think.

Tuesday 11/6/85 

English was a stuff-up. Totally mucked up!! History I was surprised how quickly I got it done, but I’m sure I’ve dropped in my ability to express myself correctly. Today was a ‘bad omen’. Anna has lost ½ tooth in her bottom row. Jay plugged a cockshuttle [!] (shuttlecock, I mean.) A Life in Wordsand it hit her in the jaw. The tooth ‘snapped’ & lodged in the gum of her tongue (underneath) Pain!! She got the nerve covered but has to wait till Monday for a cap!! OUCH. Weather warming up. Is 8:45. Must study. Am bugared too.Last exam day tomorrow. Wore my hair different today looks nicer

Wednesday 12/6/85

German-Ha!, Art Ha! Ha! and maths – Ha! Ha! Ha! Ge-stuffed day to-day! [‘Ge-stuffed’ = me taking the piss out of the German language] Rushed through maths didn’t do 3 sums. Our speech concert is on a Sunday – I think this weekend I need a pair of black tights cos our costume is a tuxedo jacket, white shirt & bow tie (with the tights.) Barely see Tim anymore. Anyhow, thinking about meeting Steven B!! Could be good! [After hearing the ‘Looks are everything’ attitude? How soon we forget.] Movie is on now. Might watch it cos’ my EXAMS ARE OVER! Will do my history assignment all day tomorrow. Want to ride to skool again, soon. I’m tired! Anna’s got a dog bite on her bum now, too (bad luck, eh?) It was that really pesky dog next to McI’s. Walking down the road it charged out & Polly ran – Anna stood still like you’re s’posed to but it bit straight through her skirt & knickers (leaving no holes in material, just skin)

Thursday 13/6/85

Got ½ a page of my history assignment done & I had 3 spare periods (ie the whole day!) I just couldn’t concentrate! This arvy I got off at Fi’s stop cos’ I thought mima wanted me to, but she just wanted to ask if Lucy was at school again!! Anyway, we went to the school (Freshy) and met Sandra, Lynette & Julie for a game of volleyball (Jemima’s found herself a volleyball.) A Life in WordsWas fun!! Laughed so much!! Left around 5:30. Watched TV all night. Haven’t done anymore History assignment either. Wanna watch Mike Walsh show…….

Friday 14/6/85

Maths is bad… I mean, not too bad, but I can let accounting go down the drain. [That’s right! I totally forgot I’d considered Accounting as another potential career path. I think because I loved money, balance and simple mathematics. Knowing accountants now I realise – at least in the Australian tax system – it’s NOT that simple.]  45½/70 ISN’T THAT DISGUSTING?? However, English made up 4 it 8¼/10. Overall % = 82.5. History 35½/50 (Fi failed History 19/50) Geez, I feel sorry for her. German I got 42/55 – not too bad!! & so far, in BP, I have 8½ marks off (she hasn’t finished marking.) Got off at mima’s today. Went to the shop, then to Mrs McI’s to discuss speech. Lucy was at school for  a little while, today. I told her everything. [What is this ‘everything’? I really hope it wasn’t about Steven’s ‘rejection’ based on ‘looks’] From shop, we bought this ‘magic bubble gum’ which EXPLODES in your mouth!! SNAP POP CRACKLE. Went to dinner at a restaurant. Was sooo tired & bored. Stared out the window

Saturday 15/6/85

A Life in WordsAte sooo much!! Was cool. Went to K-Mart in the morning to get black aerobic tights for the speech concert. Also got a sketch book &  some tampons. Wasted day. Drew. Did a bit of History assignment. WILL finish it tomorrow. Am watching the movie “10” with Bo Derek. Is so funny!! My hair has gone straight again, now. Few little waves But I used that Henna conditioner, & dried it; scrunched up. IS curly again!! But will probably straighten out when I wake up & brush it tomorrow. [So don’t ‘brush’ it.] Last night & the night before, both my dreams had something to do with skool. Last night’s was about me going with Steven B!! I don’t even know what he looks like!

Sunday 16/6/85

Today was another waste of time. I woke early and simply wasted all morning reading the Sunday papers. (Had 1 really big breakky, too) After small lunch, I did a bit more history assignment, but started to get ready 4 speech concert when mima rang. She rode here, then we left & met Fi at the school. IT was FUN!! Shameful [sure I meant embarrassing, not actually shameful] at times, I s’pose, but fun!! Went home after, (then Mima, Fi & Lucy went) & watched countdown. After looonnngg bath, watched TV. Haven’t done anymore History assignment! (So much for getting it done on Friday arvy. Mr V.S. always gives extensions anyway.

Girlie Things & Noisy Birds (22-28 April)

Monday 22/4/85

Couldn’t wake up. Ran a little late. At school, didn’t see Anthony or Jaqui. Must have conned a day off, from Jenny. Today was cool & fine. Science was boring – german was boring. History was boring. Art was orright. (Worked on clay at big lunch. Dunno wotta do.) Maths boring & English, too. Boring, plain day today. I hate Mondays, Jeez!! Late nite – 10:00 now. Didn’t have much HW at all. Bluelight 27th. Wot the shit’ll I wear? Hafta make something. Chris (from National Trust) did [fashion] Designing Course ‘n’ said the first year (½) u hafta make 2 articles per week. I CAN’T SEW!!!

Tuesday 23/4/85

Today got in a shit cos’ (I wanted to go swimming &) mum’s tampon wouldn’t fit me – it hurt. Went to school in a bad mood. Boring day. Science more work. English – sick of hearing Rebecca P’s posh voice and stupid reading in the play. Double maths more work. History dictation and German BORING. Jaqui & Anthony were here today. Anthony talked to me, but Jaqui didn’t. Anna sprung her smoking in loo’s. Another shit this arvy, when after mum bought smaller type of tampons, wouldn’t go in again. Later, however got in quite far. Still can’t get it, though. Early nite – eyes stinging when they are open. Lost a lot of moisture ‘cos of all the crying this arvy. [Womanhood – it’s not all it’s cracked up to be? I’m sure I can’t have been the only girl to have this kind of brilliant menstruation experience.]

Wednesday 24/4/85

Today was – oh I can’t describe it as usual. Ran very late cos’ tried again to fit a tampon in. VERY UNSUCCESSFUL. Forgot money but Justine saved the day 4 me! Science – quickly, no HW:- pes hot, fun – no HW:- German – late (10mins) picked on me, boring – no HW:- History – boring, long – no HW. Checked pad before getting on bus. Appear to have finished today’s period. Went swimming. Had triffic fun. Beka didn’t – had her periods, too. RAGE! Speech was simply – boring EVERYONE ‘sides Mrs McI. was tired (me too)  Found out she’s been pregnant since ‘afore Xmas. Takeaway dins going to Geoff’s for National Trust meeting. Am tired. Is hot now.

Thursday 25/4/85 (Anzac Day)

Today I ‘guts’ed out. Ate ‘n’ ate. Umah! Woke early to next door’s galahs skwaking. Lazy – read through Dolly ‘workshops’ looking for sewing patterns. After cleaning my room & fussing around with materials & patterns (I gave up &) wrote out my ’84 diary again. Did that til Nana & Nancy (1 of her sisters) Had to show ’em my art & skool work. After they left ‘n’ Jules ‘n’ I mucked around, had a bath & am wotchin’ TV! Early nite I hope. ‘S’morning thort it was Sat & in the arvy & nite, kept thinkin’ it was Sun – BIG mistake!!!! [Another Anzac Day goes unacknowledged. While transcribing, I had no idea at first that this day was even a public holiday, let alone for what reason.]

Friday 26/4/85 A Life in Words

Today was (oh! I’m sick of starting off like this.) I didn’t like today. Cool wind so didn’t get too hot during hockey. I failed my maths test on surds, I’m sure. Bought my leather shoes today & didn’t even have science in the lab! Fiona bought my tin of Kool Fruits. Ended up eating them all today. Also got another english assignment. Just a letter. Want to get it done this weekend. BLUELIGHT tomorrow night! Petra F is going! Thought she wasn’t allowed ’till she was 16! Late nite wotched ½ of 1984 Logies & Dave Allen

Saturday 27/4/85

Fucking birds next door screeched & squawked all fucking morning, waking me up at 6:30 after going to sleep only 7 hours earlier. I wanted to sleep in. Went out this morning. Bought lace & tartan ribbon. Looked at materials, too. Came home & watched TV & lazed about all arvy. Rang mima (didn’t want to ring Mr D – (grumpy-bum)) Got ready 4 Bluelight. Couldn’t use blowdryer – exploded. The cord just ‘teared’ or ‘broke’ or ‘split’ Am now soooo nervous. [I often felt nervous prior to certain social events and indeed, still can.] Oh!! They’re here!!

Was terrfiic!! (Saw Sean 2 times briefly) Neville only stuck ’round ’bout an hour. I Didn’t sit down once – sore back. I think now that mima set Neville & me up in the beginning. Mainly danced with Fi, Beka, Justine & Greg K. John C was there, too.

Sunday 28/4/85

A Life in WordsSlept in to 8:30, cos got to bed 12:30. Today was very lazy day. Woke up to birds squawking at 6.00 or so, but managed to sleep in longer. Read old Dollys, did depilatories (creamed off the hair under my arms, & bikini line) Did most of my HW. When that was complete, showered’n’shaved etc, and went to Clarke’s for drinks. Took science books & english Didn’t do anything, tho. Watched TV – countdown’n’muppets left around 7:20. Early-ish night 2nite. I hope It’s about 8:45 now. I must learn for my science test tomorrow

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Show Fervour & Binge Guilts (16-22 July)

Monday 16/7/84

Sooo tired this morning! Did exercises & couldn’t take my eyes off the book! When were ready Dad drove us home where Toni was & packed lunch. When we pulled up at school, I finished “Lovers & Gamblers” ‘Happy’ ending but I didn’t like it cos’ too many good characters die. Mucked around today – it went fast. Surprising amount of HW. Did some title pages in Toni’s History & Science books & she paid me with a pkt of chips. Personally, I don’t think that’s enough!…

Tuesday 17/7/84

Woke early, got to bus stop early. Quite tired, in fact, VERY tired, have been all day. At School, Mr Howard was bashed up. (Not at school, dummy) He came with 2 black eyes, bruised nose & grazes. Musta bin in a fight. Went shopping & bought red tights & hair mousse. Hairdressers were booked out – couldn’t find shorts or scarves either.

Wednesday 18/7/84

Day went really quick – was so excited about tonight. Came home, had bath, dressed & went to speech. Fi rode me home coz mum forgot me & was late. Had dinner & went. Was UNNRREEEAL. Am so excited for Friday now! It’ll be Triffic

Thursday 19/7/84 A Life in Words

After a LONG, SLOW day, I gorged on the choccy’s from my Show bags. I’ll never get them again – waste of money. Watched TV & relaxed. Actually wrote a 6 page letter!!! (To Jodie & Mike) [our ‘closest’ cousins – mum’s sister’s offspring] Me? Yes! Have planned out tomorrow; Sleep in, have brekky….

Friday 20/7/84

LAST DAY OF THE SHOW – OHHH!!! Had the usual show day holiday. Planned out my morning – did everything perfectly. Got to mim’s at 1:30, Fi got there at 2:00 & we left at 2:45. Had the greatest time EVER! Went on the Orion: 2, Whizzer: 1, Paratrooper: 2, Ferris wheel: 1, Hurricane: 1 & Gravitron: 1 Truly, totally unreel! Met Justine etc & Jason P. & Mark!♥ But I don’t think he even sees me. Oh well – I don’t mind dreaming!

Saturday 21/7/84

Woke at 7:30. Rushed for tennis – Martin D. dropped us in. After, walked to Stereo World – drove mim & Fi to our place – ate lunch – went to mims & swam all arvy (till 3:00) Went to Fi’s & cooked custard and some patty cakes. At home, slept well.

Sunday 22/7/84

Woke at 8:00 & lazed around all day Umah! Feel guilty about eating between snacks & the HORRIBLE bulges of FAT on my stomach. I want to get rid of them but my will power isn’t strong enough. Anyhow watched TV all day – early or reasonably early night. Am not looking forward to school 2morrow.