infatuation – Page 3 – A Life in Words

Relationship Counselling, Heartbreak & Hiccups (3-9 March)

Published on March 3, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 3/2/86

He said hello to me today!! I walked Fi to art the auditorium way and said goodbye, starting off down the walkway to my room. He & Mark W were walking up to theirs. As we passed I looked at him – HE SMILED & SAID HELLO and I had to smile & say hi, too (And I felt so happy after that) I’m sure (?) he likes me. Positive – must be (?) Otherwise I’ve been eating & farting a lot and it hasn’t been hot. The nights are even cool (last night had my bedspread right up all night) Beka rang – we talked. She’s fine. Are gonna go to town Fri. night. MUM HAD A CAR CRASH. Yank drove into her ($1500 damage) Carless for at least one week now. [It wouldn’t’ve surprised me if Mum was uninsured: comprehensive car insurance would be another expense she wouldn’t be able to afford on the income she earnt.] SHIT. Yank’s getting charged tho’ – driving on his US License is illegal!! [I’m not entirely sure this was true. It certainly isn’t now, unless there are extenuating circumstances.] Is 9:31 Don’t think Mima’s very happy with me for some reason. (think it might be about Jarrad)

Tuesday 4/2/86

Him? Oh, “He’s” madly in love with Sharon W. [Uh oh] I hate him (but I lie) I’m quite upset (disturbed; not crying or angry) I found out before school, so it “wrecked” my day – made me depressed. And Cameron’s Fi’s property almost well-and-truly so there’s only Mark left and I don’t think he likes me much. But I think he’s such a hunk… Beka rang again, about town & told me she had no way to get to the carnival. I rang Justine (talked) and she said she’d try. Rang mima to see what to wear – she said we could take Beka too. Rang Beka told her she could come. Rang Fi to check if she could take us all home & see what she’d wear. FINE! Rained on my ride home today. Cool!! Got my periods. Poop. Tomorrow’ll be FUN! It’s 9:39. I’m tired. Have giant black circles under my eyes.

Wednesday 5/2/86

Carnival was terrific!! In the sense that it was exciting (the atmosphere) and fantastic but nothing good happened to me. When we went to town after school, (mima got her legs waxed wasn’t as bad as she thought it’d be [in terms of pain, my guess]) we saw Brent & Steven talking to Robert D… about … Sharon. It’s confirmed. He’s nuts about her. It’s not fair. No one (I like) likes me. Actually, today was a pretty “down” day. I’m not feeling too happy lately (a lot to do with boy-business) mostly from school, too. I mean, subject classes etc. And friends. Can’t explain – too tired & don’t have enough space. Riding again tomorrow – whatever the weather. Goody Goody Goody. Hafta It’s 10:51. Done no HW today – funny how you get a lot [of homework] on the days that you’re busy.

Thursday 6/2/86

Periods are a pain in the TIT. So are farts (I just did one) Art excursion was boring. Blech. Packed day today. Mostly with other people’s problems. [Relationship counselling at age 15½….that’s impressive] Cameron & Fiona: Cameron thought Fi was angry with him for not talking to her at the carnival. I said no, she had some problems (big mouth) he wanted to know what (I couldn’t tell him – it was up to Fi) she doesn’t like him enough. Pity, huh?? And mima’s “in love” with Kye (a yr 12 who also likes her) she doesn’t know whether to drop Brent (again) or not and is consequently (thru’ brent’s eyes) acting wierd. While they were at gym, he rang me asking if I knew what was wrong. I hate lying. Also rang Beka – had a long talk – fun. I like Mark. for Biology, we’re swimming tomorrow – practise with snorkels for Tues at Fitzroy. HOT. Fast riding. Nite is 9:36 did no (very little) HW again. Then again, got very little. Runny (-ish) nose

Friday 7/2/86

Didn’t do swimming in Biology – the pool was closed cos’ they’re doing pipework (very) near it. I am tired. It’s 12:21. the movies were not too good. “Summer Rental” was OK, but the other one was pits blood-thristy, made me sick. You see, Beka came home on our bus, got ready at my place & we caught the bus into town (as planned) but we went to see mima and she asked us to come to the movies. I was allowed Beka wasn’t. Her mum came & picked her up (almost) straight away. That’s terrible – she invited me out & ended up going straight home again while I stayed to see a movie. I’m disgusted with myself. [For abandoning my friend] I heard a mention that Sharon doesn’t like Steven very much. Don’t get your hopes up, Liss. He says hello & goodbye a lot more now !!!! Got hiccups in art with Sandy (B) she thinks it was cos we inhaled too many glue fumes! HaHa!

Saturday 8/2/86

Mum woke me at 7:15. I was tired & very cranky. Didn’t want to go to dad’s for the weekend, but she ignored me. I watched TV till dad came. He & I went to work. [I wonder where my sister was?] I cleaned 49 [drums] & did 4½hrs work. ($30.25 total) Got home at 7:00. Big dinner. I am still tired. Haven’t started any HW yet. I want dad to take me home early tomorrow (not too early – I mean, when he’s ready) Kept thinking about Steven B. Tried to see him last night, but didn’t. I’m glad he says hello a lot. I like him. Not “love”. Just fondness – but you never know. God, I’m tired. It’s 10:38. “Star Trek” is on TV tonight. I half watched (watching it) & reading a magazine. Think I’ll knock off soon. Hope I don’t miss out on much this weekend, i.e. I keep feeling mima would’ve invited me out, had I been home. [This was a feeling that pervaded most of my teenage years. It’s the reason that comes to mind when trying to explain why I never cared to spend time at Dad’s. I don’t think I’m a very ‘familial’ person – unlike my sister & mother – and have always viewed my father as such: a kind of socialite, whom I assumed I took after. I hated “missing out” on anything.]

Sunday 9/2/86

Woke around 5:00 first – it was still a bit dark – went to the loo then slept again. Woke 7:30, then 8:30, then 9:15. I slept well, I think! Almost 10 hrs sleep. Today, I did HW, after finally waking up (messing around abit) I started at 12:30 and went right thru till 5:30. Chemistry, Maths & Biology. Went home at 6:00 Mum & Geoff arrived home at 20 past. Chicken sandwich for tea (that’s 8½ pieces of bread today + heaps soda streams) [UGH! Oh my God, that concept is repulsive to me now. I don’t want to imagine the damage that kind of consumption would have done.] It’s 10:22. Movie is “Hanover Street” my favourite…. well not really. I just remembered it from years ago and loved it. am missing it at the moment. my weekend was very dull. Sleepy? Kinda. Wished my weekend was better. Thinking a lot about Steven & strangely Jarrad. [When you’re feeling lonely…desperation can set in…]

Boys, Boys, Boys & ….Prunes (24 February-2 March)

Published on February 24, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 24/2/86

Sooooo tired today. Everyone (well, y’know what I mean) liked my hair. Heather loved it. (Dunno if she was for real though – can never tell.) She said it was gorgeous. Melinda B’s party was…… okay. Not bad, Not excellent either. But was good entertainment (heaps of yummy junk food!!) Dropped Brent home as well as Fi & Mima tonight. Julia said “What a spunk!” As soon as we left his place. SKINT! Mima blushed really bad!! (So she said!!) Then later, Julia said, “Elissa likes Steven B.” Thanks, pisshead. Fiona questioned it (of course) Excellent excuse that I’d told her that I thought he & all these other guys were spunky. Hope she swallowed it. It’s true, though – I do like S.B.!! SOOOO HOT today! HOT! HOT! HOT! Is 8:56. Riding 2morrow wake early to do HW!!

Tuesday 25/2/86

Today…Today, um… we rode again. Yes, it was overcast, but still quite hot & on my way home, I beat all the CH buses and Julia beat me by about 1 min. she said (saw Adrienne – said Hi) My stomach is pretty bloated, too. I think I’m due for periods soon – tomorrow, actually. OH!! SHIT. Generally – plain day. Maths was good (I love it) Cameron McK must have a permanent grin – I can’t help but smile & laugh when he says something. He’s so nice. But Steven, well, I think he’s a spunk, but I dunno if I like him much anymore. People say he likes Michelle W, anyway. They also tell bad things about him. [I can’t recall what these were…] Pity. Did no HW tonight too tired. For art, are planning to go to Brissy (& Gold Coast etc) for holidays – the CAD group [like, an art excursion]. unreal, huh?!! Is 8:50 I think people these days (especially young kids) swear a lot more but think nothing of it. [Well isn’t this funny? If I was ‘shocked’ by language back then, imagine my horror now? I actually think that the act of swearing is becoming obsolete, because it is so commonplace.]

Wednesday 26/2/86

It’s a real pity about Steven. He’s SO SPUNKY, but everyone says how much of a bastard he is. [Again, not sure, but I think it related to using girls for ‘one thing’…] PITY. Speech was boring, but after, mima, fi & I talked for over ½hour, before I rode home. Must wake early to do the rest of my HW. Only got ½ maths done!! Have heaps left, too. Also riding tomorrow. It’s 8:50. Gotta get some sleep. Was so tired today ……bad!! Boy trouble – that must be all I think about these days. I’m so lonely. Brent rang tonight to ask me if I’d take my Chem. test results tomorrow. Yes. I would. I’d hoped there’d be something about a spunk who liked me, I got it on the brain, huh?!! Bugared. Time’s going so fast now. Almost 3rd month. [March, that is] mum’s at a tupperware party. I must get to sleep soon as possible.

Thursday 27/2/86

It’s 9:30. I’m hot & sticky. Have just been late-nite shopping with mima & fiona at Earlville. Fi bought a swatch, mima bought some leotards, but the rings were too expensive for me. DAMN. Angie J likes Steven B. Mima & Brent are setting them up to ‘double date’ (kind of) at the movies on Sat. night DAMN. My hands (actually just my fingers) are beginning to peel again. DAMN. I can’t decide between Cameron, Mark & Steven, though I’m pretty sure about Steven DAMN. its hot DAMN. I’m tired DAMN. Riding was good (beat all buses home again) Ran out of Beconase. Wish Steven liked me. He’s conceited (a bit). Pity Pity-Pity-Pity. I’ve got no chance against Angie. DAMNED DAY today.

Friday 28/2/86

9:05 and I’m in bed. Well, sort of. I’m gonna finish “To Kill A Mockingbird”. Pretty ….. plain day today. Jemima tried (is still trying) to set me up with Jarrad B. He’s not bad looking, but is pretty popular/tough & I don’t know him at all. I think (like I always think) Steven likes me as well as Mark, Cameron, Chris (K) and a few others – but you know me – the biggest imagination out. So I’m gonna try’n’skip the movies on Saturday night – I just wouldn’t feel too good with a set-up or blind date. [Funny, that’s still how I feel now. If friends want to set me up with someone, I tell them they have to hide the fact from me. I don’t do blind dates or set-ups.] (Angie thinks Steven’s not interested in her – hope so) Julia embarrassed me again tonight at Coles in town. Mark works there. I pointed him out to her & as he walked up & stood near us for a few seconds, she pissed herself. How embarrassing But GOD Mark W’s a SPUNK!

Saturday 1/3/86

Went into Coles again today. Mark didn’t see me – thank God. I’m so embarrassed from last night. I came home & tried to do my HW, but procrastinated. Went to greet Dad & Jenny at 2:30, came home earlier. They dropped by to pick up Aussie [their dog, who we were obviously baby-sitting for them] and gave us some presents (SHIT yeah) I thought they’d be materialistic (something to keep) Instead, we got lollies, butterscotch, coconut ice, peanut brittle, butterscotch popcorn, candy bars galore FATTENING!! But, by far, the highlight of today was the movie (well not the movie – WHITE NIGHTS) but Steven. He didn’t go in either did Angie (??) But after, mim & Brent, fi, me & Him walked around town, looking for a cafe Found none. caught Taxi home with mim, fi & Brent (Steven got his own) Is 12:10 and I am dead tired!! but happy.

Sunday 2/3/86

Today I ate only junk (the junk that dad brought back from his trip) Nothing good besides a muesli bar [Liss, if only you knew that’s NOT ‘good’] and a lot of water. I also had 6 prunes so I can shit out the rubbish tomorrow. [Ha!] Hope I don’t break out [pimples]. Did HW after lotsa procrastination. Everything but English & Biology assignments. I’ll hafta rush english tomorrow morning. Wrote out the poems & ruled up the pages etc. but must write out the assignment body. Then I can write good copy in english tomorrow. Gee, I keep thinking about last night – I’m sure (??) he likes me I hope. I’m watching “Tootsie” on TV now (It’s 9:52) Gee, I can’t wait to see him tomorrow. Talked a bit, so could get to know him better. Woke 9:15 this morning!! So I got about 8-9hrs sleep last night any-way!

Popped Collars, Lemon Juice & Sarah Jessica Parker (17-23 February)

Published on February 17, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 17/2/86

I Heard a lot about Anne-Marie’s party today. It sounded rough (or WILD) Steven B & Mark W are disgusting. They were blind, apparently. [Another display of Innocence] Pity. I liked them both. [At this point I have omitted a statement about others, which is not my place to make public.] Like Neville!! It’s 9:12. Don’t want a late night (Dave Allen is on now – finishing soon) Went to town this afternoon (Rang mum) Was good – Ate a fair bit. Looked in some clothes shops and got a passport application form for mima (she is (if 14 other people do) going to Japan in September) Am a little disappointed now. About the guys at CHS, I mean. Would there be any “nice” ones?? [So I have always had ‘high standards’. But fear not, I am human and definitely ‘slipped-up’ in succeeding years! But that’s Life isn’t it? One big Learning Curve, littered with Ups and Downs…] Oooohh. Poop. I wanna sleep late. Riding tomorrow for carnival. Leaving later at 8:00 so can sleep till 7:00-7:15. Great!!! Did no HW!

Tuesday 18/2/86

SWIMMING CARNIVAL was fun. Nothing special – just fun. Had 1 compliment (from a girl, though) about my figure. [Er, I clearly didn’t know then that compliments from girls are generally more ‘valid’ (sincere) than from guys. Or was it actually different in the 80’s?] So many little things happened; I can’t remember them or fit them all in. We rode – was good. Rode home to mima’s and watched the video “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” [Now THAT’s how I think of Sarah Jessica Parker] Is unreal! Novelties were fun at the carnival (we won (Bruce) the 16yrs raft race, but got 3rd for the pyjama race – Tully cheated) Tully won overall, then Collins and Bruce and O’Keefe last. Funny really!! Got burnt Wore glasses and red’n’white shirt with collar up. [Think ‘popped’ collar – it was actually cool in the 80’s – that’s why it’s not cool now!] Groovy! But still got extra burnt. Gonna fail maths test tomorrow. Did only Bio tonight (but also wrote out ~~some~~ all Maths rules.) will learn & try examples tomorrow. Have only Bio, art & maths tomorrow anyway. Is 8:35. Wasn’t humid. Hot – not too humid.

Wednesday 19/2/86

Happy (-ish) day today. Lunch was a good one again (talking to the (with the) guys again – but outside the room) I love when we do that. Didn’t go to the dance. Jemima was grounded. Her mum found out that she had planned to go to Mark’s party on Sat. Grounded for only Wed. night. Problem was; Brent’s going away for Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. She had invited him to it. She wanted Fi & I to go, but stupid me didn’t want to, so Fi thought I hated her. Talked about it all after speech* and later on the phone with Fi. We (after my soppy crying) [I’m very non-confrontational, so found it hard to control my emotions when I had to face off with people. I’m quite sure I’m not the super-sensitive cry-baby anymore but I haven’t really been tested for quite some time.] told each other all the things we’d hidden over the past 3 years – my jealousies etc. Her thoughts & feeling too. Actually, am glad to get it all out once and for all. [No wonder I’ve always believed “better out than in”] Maths test was ……!! (Is 8:50) *First day of speech for 1986. Mim & I 2gether. Wed’s 5-5:45. Was good. Decided which exams we’re working for. etc!!!!!! Got 9½hrs sleep last night!!

Thursday 20/2/86

I think I am deeply infatuated with Steven B. Actually, I don’t know why I said that. It’s a funny kind of attraction – there’s nothing super about him (awful teeth) but he’s a spunk… He’s also a bastard, too. [Well, that’s what I ‘deduced’ from gossip & rumours] What a pity. Today, Astia, Sandra & I almost wagged religion but Ms Marsland caught us. We only had 20 mins of it, but the bad bit was coming in [late] SHame! Boring lunch hour today (probably cos’ Brent’s gone …Mima’s going with [dating, not going away with] him, now!) Hard riding today Lotsa head-wind. On way home, was abit easier – beat CHS bus home – not Smith. tho’. Lotta HW. Got all done tho. Late nite, too. (it’s 9:46 now) Most people said Dance was good – “great”. [There’s a good chance I’d’ve felt a wee jealous – or more rueful that I’d not gone.] There was even a bomb scare, too!! I’m in a ‘funny’ mood cranky, happy, tired all at once (lotsa other things, too) Art Excursion 2morrow… goody!! Mima going with Brent as of last night. [“Going with” was the term back then for ‘dating’.]

Friday 21/2/86

Not a good day. Not too bad, but not good. Excursion was fun (went to 3 art displays – had lunches in Mellick Centre and junk from Great Aust. Ice Creamery YUM YUM! Got back to school 5 mins before end of period 6. Had been gone since 11:15 (little lunch)) [What kid doesn’t love a reason to miss lessons?] BAD NEWS was my haircut. A bit too short. Got upset about it after, but am a little more composed now. I know exactly what I want now. Long. Fringe & everything the same (long-ish) length. Also burnt my fingers from kettle steam and felt generally sad in arvy [oh them raging’ teen hormones!] – also did no HW. GOOD NEWS. Mima rang – we’re going on their yacht to Green Island on Sunday. Can’t wait!! (It’s 10:55) Today thought a motion mima made might’ve meant Steven likes me – just my imagination.

Saturday 22/2/86

After that late night, I still managed 8-8½hrs sleep! I did all my set HW today, now and then. Otherwise, I was listening to the radio, snoozing, reading the novel “To Kill A Mockingbird”, trying out hairstyles, eating or drawing. I actually like my hair now. I suppose it’s very rare for anyone to be happy with a cut from the beginning. [Or just me…] I sunbaked (got a burnt tummy) and also tried to bleach my hair (while baking I put fresh lemon juice through the dark bits.) [The old lemon juice in the hair trick. I don’t know how well it worked, but it was something I’ve employed a number of times throughout my life.] Mrs B came round too, to talk with mum. I’m staying at mime’s tonight – there’s a video night (it’s 6:33pm) and it’ll end late so I may as well stay over (cos also hafta leave for Green Is at 7am anyway) Will be a late nite! Haven’t had tea yet!! Nana came over today. WHOOP! Nah! [It’s a tad painful seeing these kinds of comments about my grandmother. Granted, she and I never really saw eye to eye, but had I known she had only about 18 months left to live, perhaps I mightn’t’ve taken her visits for granted? Cest la vie, I guess.] Leaving for mima’s soon!

Sunday 23/2/86

A Life in Words — Leaving Green Island (in the background) I sure love that Reef Oil Tanning Lotion bottle, don’t I?

I am “burned” thoroughly. [Oh, good. And apparently all the damage is done in these ‘formative years’…] And tired. Movies were slack so watched “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” twice and otherwise mucked around. Got 5 hours sleep. Woke 6:00. Was soo tired. (Still am!!) Was TERRIFIC today!! Getting over there was slow – there was no wind. Used the outboard mostly. But once there, it was terrific!! Fantastic!! [I have always loved the ocean – at least, the calm waters of the Coral Sea.] We got there 11:30 (Left wharf at 8:00!!) Swam to shore, got an ice block, and spent about 1½ hours jumping off (& tanning or burning) on the jetty. Saw Fishers with Skinners, too skint!! And Donna B & Suzelle R Went back to yacht at 1:30. Had lunch and went home about 2:00. Got home 5:30 (Home home at 6:15) Saw lotsa dolphins jellyfish, crabs & manta-rays and a baby shark!! Am burnt pretty “good“! All over – but not sore Looks good!! [See… how do Skin Cancer campaigners compete with Vanity?] Is 8:43 Nite!

Rain, Mail, Cricket & a Bubble Bath (13-19 January)

Published on January 13, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 13/1/86

I watched TV & read. Went to Nana’s (I mean, we visited her in hospital.) That was a little boring. [Now I can appreciate how difficult it must have been for my poor nephew and niece when we spent many hours of the day in hospital during the final weeks of my mum’s – their Nana’s – life. Mind you, my Nana wasn’t quite on her deathbed.] Am still writing letter to Lucy. Is now about 18 pages long. It rained continuously today. Mostly, it spat, but there were often heavy downpours. I love the rain. It has stopped now. I am putting on weight. It is quite noticeable, too. I must get out and about. Will ring dad tomorrow & see if there’s any work yet. Also have to get uniforms & books yet. I’ll need a hell of a lot of money. [Hmph! I don’t recall having to buy my own textbooks and school uniforms. This is news to me.] Geez, it’s 10:15 already. Time flies. There was something else I was gonna say, but I forgetten. Damn. OH! I got 9hrs sleep last night! I feel great! no more black bags under me eyes

Tuesday 14/1/86

I read again today, but only a bit of time was spent on Lucy’s letter. I received one from her & she included a ℅ address so I finished up & mum sent it. It costed 60c cos’ it was so big. (It didn’t fit in a normal envelope.) [And of course 60 cents is what we now pay to send standard mail. Actually, in context, that’s not a huge price rise in 28 years. It was 33c back then. Considering fuel and house prices in Australia have respectively tripled and more than quadrupled in the same period of time…] Amanda’s staying here tonight. She & Julia & some others saw Goonies today. Australia also beat New Zealand in day/night cricket. Is 9:37. Wanna sleep straight away. Justine phoned me 2night & we’re going to town tomorrow. Still no work from dad. Need to buy uniforms etc. Am terrified about Cairns High. Absolutely frightened [and in red ink, evidently added at a later date] petrified [I had never changed schools in my life, apart from the obligatory move from primary to high school, so I was extremely nervous about the whole thing. Remember I’m quite the introvert and not bursting with self confidence. But I can now say it turned out to be one of the best moves in my life.]

Wednesday 15/1/86

Saw Sean♥ in town. Justine thinks I like him – I’m trying to convince her it’s just curiosity. It’ll be hard. I’ll get to see him all next year – but there’ll be other spunks. Also saw Anna & believe it or not, Donna C. She recognised me too! Shane & Clayton were also in town. We just walked around. Justine looked for black pants. We went to her dad’s work for lunch. Then later caught the bus home to her place. Watched “Monkees” on video & swam. Cooked tea again tonight. Wonder if sean recognised, let alone saw me today. Hope so! It’s 10:20.

Thursday 16/1/86

I went up to Fi’s at about 10:00 today. She read Lucy’s letter & the one she had just received from Fran. I went home soon after, cos’ Julia didn’t want me to be away for long. [I’m assuming here that mum was obviously out at work, and Julia and I were finally considered capable of staying home unsupervised. Heck, I’d hope so by age 15½] Fi rang a little later in the day – around 3:00 she came down. We talked & watched the cricket. The Australians were flogged by the Indians. I wrote a letter to Fran & another short one to Lucy, then I had paper ready to write a small one to Jodie & Michael, but Fi came. More rain today. The mosquitoes are consequently BAD. They’re biting me now. Had a great big rainstorm. Stood in the yard & watched it come!! Getting uniforms 2morrow. Is 9:45.

Friday 17/1/86

Did the vacuuming this morning & I was dripping with perspiration ALL OVER. Wet. My dress was sopping wet. [Ain’t nuthin’ like the humidity in the tropics!] After, went to see Nana & got my uniforms & some books. My chemistry book is gi-normous. And is heavy. Walked to Fi’s around 3:00. Took my stuff to show her. Mum’s started 1 of my skirts. [Mum made most of our school uniforms for as long as I can recall. Skirts mostly because they’re the easiest, but I do recall her making a few of my primary school dresses as well. “Such a clever mummy!” And I actually recall her saying that, laced with humour, to her very modest self, about herself, in her rare ‘proud’ moments.] Talked – did mainly nothing, so I left around 4:30. Had fresh mushrooms for tea. They’re growing in the park – they are edible & harmless & yummy too! they’re even nice raw!! Is HOT today. OH NO! Another late night! Is 10:45. My hair’s getting long. Posted letters to Fran & Lucy 2day.

Saturday 18/1/86

Today we played cards & our tapes. Fiona (from next door) F. gave me a fountain pen (very old, dirty & cracked but useable) + 5 cartridges (1 black + 4 red/pink.) I gave her $4 in return (mum’s money, actually) Very, very HOT today. New Zealand won day/night cricket against India. Good. That means India won’t overtake us. Hooray! We, in turn, must beat N.Z. tomorrow We will. 11:00 – I just watched the movie. Rains still (just a little) My hair’s growing fast – can’t do anything with it. SHIT HAIR. [Fine but thick (lots of it) my hair was too straight and soft to set in any style. It just wouldn’t stay where it was put. Very frustrating for a teenaged girl.] Mum made my shorts – cuties – tiny coloured dots + 1pr for her & 1pr for Jules. [Yep, mum on a roll at the sewing machine…]

Sunday 19/1/86

Today, I watched cricket (Australia beat NZ – and as a result, are far ahead of India & NZ!!! unreal) Lotsa rain today. In fact – non-stop. (mainly spitting) overcast all day – not too hot.. Couldn’t see “View to A Kill” cos of the rain – bit useless at a Drive In Mucked around abit. Had a bubble bath tonight. Lovely & relaxing. Lotsa toads & frogs cos of the rain. I’ve also run out of Beconase spray. OH NO!! Found a good way to wear my hair – parted further down the right side – easier to keep it apart from the main fringe. [‘Height’ was a prominent characteristic of mid 80’s hairstyles so teasing came back into mode, along with truckloads of hairspray. Doubled by girls with slippery fine hair like mine. I built a habit of impromptu teasing by rubbing my palm in circles at the site of my part, which created an impressive birds nest-style knot, but also the much-needed, highly-desired ‘body’ I continually lost. It worked well to semi-ressurect my hairstyle temporarily, but I don’t think I ever considered how it had the potential to thin the hair growth on that side of my head. I’m certainly not bald in that spot, but there’s definitely less sprouting from the right side of my scalp than there is on the left. By the way, I still part from the right to this day.] Getting more & more nervous ’bout school. [The closer it gets…] Having early night. Is 8:50.

Nasality, Quadraplegia & Hiding from Cars (9-15 December)

Published on December 9, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 9/12/85

Earned a further $25 today. Still want more. [Aha, first hint of an earning addiction. Working to earn, to accrue – whether to spend or save – can become a compulsion. While the discipline is admirable, on the whole it’s not great for your mental/emotional health.] Have to work to earn money for Wednesday, too; Beka, Justine, Lucy, me & Sharon D are gonna go to the movies & mum said I have to use my own money, so.. IS BOILING HOT!! Guess what we’re gonna see?!!! For my 3RD TIME – Back to the Future!! OMIGOD I don’t believe this heat! Mum bought some more new Xmas decorations. Adam G & Steven S rode by. (See, Friday arvy, when Beek & I were getting ready for the party, Adam talked to us – Beka reckons he was chatting us up. Anyway I think she might be right cos’ he & Steven were ‘hanging’ round this arvy.) Anyway, am having a (pretty) early night for once (is 9:45 now) So goodnight!!!

Tuesday 10/12/85

One of the most iconic Australian women’s clothing brands of the 80s

I am afraid – afraid to speak, that is. Everyone at work tells me how nasally I am getting. [Unfortunately little has changed, although I am surprised how few people have mentioned it in these later years of my life. “You have a distinctive voice” was the most recent – and very tactful – description of my voice.] I really want to have my adneoids out. I feel it would help a lot in preventing my allergies (getting totally rid of them) & much of my mucus problem, blood noses & of course (& most importantly) my nasality (& sinus). [Dr Elissa] Today I went to work again (for the money, and the sake). Earned $24. My total is now $132. Went to Kmart this arvy – forgot to take my money. DUMB, huh?!! (No comments, please!) New part looks good – there’s Cherry Lane & some other jewellery shops & ‘sunnies’ shops. Dear me, thinking about it, I think I do go to work not only for the money, but for something to do during the day. (Mum’s usually not home…) [My sister was in Grade 8 and they didn’t finish up for the year until a fortnight after us Year 10’s. And with Mum needing to work obviously I would have been very much alone at home. Everyone needs ‘Purpose’.] Dad’s running out of cash. I’m not allowed in there for some time. Oh dear!!.. Movies (again) tomorrow

Wednesday 11/12/85

Was ready to go to town early, so went to Lucy’s. Got mum a purse & dad’s running shorts. The movie was good (I’ve seen it 3 times, now) Beka loved it and the supporting film. Warren D & Wayne C saw us at interval. Came & sat near – BLECH! Caught 4:00 Bus to Lucy’s (Sharon D went home) Played board games (Anna & Colleen dropped in.) Beka & I are staying the night. Mucked around – went for a walk around the streets & I (of course, with my Luck it was me) got ‘sprung’. See, we played that we hid from cars when they came. I hid behind a car & Luc & Beek jumped into a bush. Stupid guy fairly blew me up. Fuckwit. Latenite. Read books

Thursday 12/12/85

Woke what musta been quite late, cos Beka got in BIG trouble with her mum. Apparently Mrs H came around to pick her up from work; knocked on the door & no one answered, so she went home & rang up later. For me & Luc, it was a very lazy day. We just read books. Ate very little until [at this ‘juncture’ a long arrow wound through and around my text, pointing finally to the ‘Cake Day’ sticker, next to which I wrote “Well, I mean I ate a LOT of cake, today!!”] (I got home) Watched a bit of TV & I went home at 5:00 Nana was here. Anyway, is almost 11:30, now. I finished my book about 20 mins ago. Gotta give it back to Lucy before she goes (she’s going on Monday) AM SOOO TIRED. I also have an ‘infected’ eye. Is all puffed up and sore. Mum thinks it’s a bite…

Friday 13/12/85

Lazed round this morning till 11:45 when got ready & went to the Dr.’s! At the clinic I saw J. C-S’s health card & I thought she must have been in there, but up pulled an ambulance & Jodie was in it. Julia said she was on the mini-trampoline in PES – she has a suspected fractured neck. There goes her sporty achievements. He (the dr) didn’t move her out of the vehicle for if he had examined her, & touched/moved the wrong things she could become quadriplegic. My swollen eye was just another side effect of my allergies. Dr H said I must continually use my Beconase – not just for the allergy attacks. It’s like “taking the pill once you’re pregnant.” So I’m on a trial run for 3 weeks. If there is no improvement in my sinus, nasality, allergies or mucus congestion then he will refer me to an Ear, Nose & Throat specialistic who might consider removing my adenoids. The Bluelight was boring in action – but the people were “good”. John Cl- & John Co-, & SEAN! He’s still a spunk. Also, after (on the way home) had to squish in Justine’s car with Jason P, Mark, Martin P & another guy. Funnily enough – I felt nothing towards Mark as I had for Sean. ←I was sure he likes me. STILL A SPUNK.

Saturday 14/12/85

I’m boiling.Today I concentrated on (& got) mima’s letter written. Was quite boring….About Green Is, tomorrow, dunno much. I’m taking Beka & Justine in. Dunno anything else. Will have to ring Justine in the morning. Jeezus – IS HOT. Watching Countdown this arvy (& Wham!’s new unreeeal clip) Andrew Ridgeley (with his new short crop cut) reminded me so much of Sean…. I think I’ve taken a liking to him again…… Watched the movie – is now11:00. Nite!

Sunday 15/12/85

PHEWEE!! I’m burnt again! Except a bit more – I didn’t wear a shirt cos’ the only other person to come besides Justine, me, Lucy & Beek, was S. Poor Shane! on his own – but I don’t think he minded that much. Boy is it hot! We got there 11:30. We swam sunbaked for about 1/3hr then got lunch at about 1:30-2:00 Spent the rest of the arvy (till 3:45) in the water. Bet I’ll peel again, too. Went back to Justine’s (instead of home) to have a swim. Lucy & I walked home around 6:45, Got home around 7:10 – dusk. Big dinner (the Bests were here) I am HOT!! & very tired – “exhausted” Pity no one else came. OH well!! Late nite.

Bye Bye Smithfield High (25 November-1 December)

Published on November 25, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 25/11/85

Ugh! Maths wasn’t too bad, but I think it’ll be a miracle if I get over 60/70. Damn! It’s more likely I’ll get over 50 – well, what’s wrong with a high achievement?? [High Achievement is not enough for a high achiever, read perfectionist!] But history…. I dunno about that ‘un at all!! A pass, but not a good one, I don’t think. Strelitzias were given out today and in last session, everybody was signing everybodies. I don’t have the magazine, but Ms Hornibrook said if I brought my $5 in early tomorrow I could get one. Cor, it’s hot! Got a parcel from CHS. Got subject selection form, subject guide booklet CHS prospectus & letter. There’s a meeting on the 3rd of December for us [CAD art] kids. I’m definitely gonna go now cos Astia is. Oh, so sad: I don’t want this week to go fast [Last week of school/Year 10 = last week at Smithfield State High School]

Tuesday 26/11/85

I got the very last Strelitza today. Lucky, huh??!! AM BOILING!! MY EXAMS ARE OVER!! FINISHED!! Art was quite simple, BP was a bit harder. I would have passed in both I’m sure. Had to do the piccy for the girl’s uniform for Smithy 1986 Prospectus. Front & back view. Thrilling, huh?? [Well yes, Liss, give yourself some credit.] I will see it, though, cos Julia’ll get one. Lucy came round this arvy. We went to the park & talked. This boy (saints uniform) walked across & to the brick house behind. He must have been watching us, with, gasp, Neville cos’ when Luc & I rode up & round the street, I saw them sitting on the stone wall. We went to the school. Coming home, they WHISTLED SHAME!! Anyway, am boiling hot. And watching ANZACS (only one up) Will finish soon. Am worn out!! HOT

Wednesday 27/11/85

Watched last part of ANZACS. It was so sad. I don’t think I have ever cried as much as I did in that. [I still tear up quite readily if I think about or witness cruelty or others’ sadness. In fact, I have come to learn that sadness belies pretty much all of my negative moods; it’s pretty much my personal ‘root evil’.] Julia laughed at me, so I tried to laugh instead – but it [my choked laugh, I assume] ended up sounding like a sick dog!!! Today – er – 17/30 for my 3 englishes. 6½, 7 & 3½→ fail!! OH WELL!! 74/100 for Science. OH WELL!! and (YAY!!) 14/15, 8/10 + 11½/15 for German! Also 34½/50 for history – 22 for one assignment, 20½ for the other!!! Still need more people to sign my Strelitzia. Want Tim to, but he won’t: doesn’t know me well enough. OH WELL! Y’know The Saints guy from yesterday – well he walked across park again. But passing our house, he looked in. I looked out & he saw me & smiled. Got a cute smile. Also this morning, some YR9 girls at the busstop were throwing around things off this tree & got me! I said “do you mind?” & Ms Rebecca P mocked me. HOW CHILDISH

Thursday 28/11/85

Am soo tired. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Gonna be unreeeeal!! Green Is, then Lucy’s party! Can’t wait!! Art 58½/60. (Good fluke) & 53½/70 for maths. Am so relieved. Little happy but mostly relieved cos I got over 50. I wanted to Get between 58-65 but that was an impossible dream. Wore wrong shirt today wasn’t sprung luckily. Wagged bits of lessons. Pretty boring. Ben P actually spoke to me in BP (were (Fiona U, Ian, him & me) all talking about maths) He said “I got 29, Lissa” for mid semester test out of 30. [I considered him one of the popular guys] Coulda got him to sign my Strelitzia but chickened out. Y’know that Saints guy? He smokes→ saw him walking home again this arvy with a fag. Pity he’s quite a good looker. Sat on the stone wall again, I think to watch me cos when I looked after mum had shut the door & pulled down the blind, he was gone. Is 10:45. Am bugared.

Friday 29/11/85

170 people from Smithfield came when we’d only booked for 130. So Mr Van volunteered 10J & a few 10H’s to stay back in town & catch the fast boat at 10:30. We walked around town – Kim, Fran, Astia, Sharon D, Fi & me. Tried to buy Westcoast. [The most popular wine cooler on the market back then] Unsuccessful. Astia’s boyfriend Jamie (over 18) got us some Island Cooler. Yukky & more alcohol compared to Westcoast.. Baked on the boat. Was fun at Green Is. Swam, walked around & jumped (were pushed) off wharf!! Didn’t need to sun bake. Got red. not too burnt, but sore enough!! Didn’t see Tim at all till he left. Oh well. Got back off the fast boat (late one) about 5:15; rushed in town & caught bus home. Ready for Lucy’s; dressed & showered. Didn’t pack much for overnite. Party was [at this point I had to turn the page to continue the story…]

Saturday 30/11/85

unreeal, had over 15 cups of rum & wine punch + 3 or 4 cups of coke (2 of which had whiskey added) Mrs W. & Rod didn’t go out. Ben P & Richard came – I thought they, besides Harry & Jemima, were the life of the party. Wasn’t drunk – just relaxed. There was Ian, Wade, Skinner, Harry, his friend, Ben, Richard, Jay & Wayne & Sharon W, me, Lucy, Fi, Mim, Danäe, Colleen, Anna, Sally, Justine, Deyarne & Michelle H & Jay’s girlfriend Rebecca. I like Richard. Ben is nice but Jemima’s absolutely flipped over him. Sally thinks Richard likes Justine. Hope not. He hates me anyway & I can feel it. [You know what they say: the attributes & attitudes you find attractive & unattractive in others is actually a reflection of yourself? Well that there comment screams of Self Hate.] Got about 5 hrs sleep. Mucked around today at Lucy’s (Danäe went home early) Luc, Beka & Me lazed about until 4:30-5:00 Mum took us home. Slept a bit at home, felt little sick right now. Just VERY tired. Mim’s head over heels with Ben. He likes her, but not as much, mutually. Ian & Wade & Shane were bored I think. Wayne, Sharon, Deyarne & Michelle left early thank god. [Ah, what? Why thanks god I wonder? I don’t recall being averse to any of these people. Maybe too many popular people for me and I felt uncomfortable?] Gotta have more like that. I think even Harry enjoyed it. He was pisst!! Everyone came late around 9:00.

Sunday 1/12/85

Boy, have I had one social life; In the past 3 days + tomorrow!! Woke late this morning & did Xmas cards all day. Have so many! Went to Dianne & Kerry’s. Stayed for tea & watched video “Gremlins” UNREEAL. On the way there, saw Ben & Richard!! Almost flipped!! I dunno if they actually saw me but they watched the car all the way past!! Julia thinks Richard’s nice looking too! me; well, not so much looks, but; I dunno what attracts me!! Anyway, when I rang Fran (at Di & Kerry’s) she’d said they’d been to Erica’s. She’d (Fran) been at mim’s all day cos’ her mum had lunch with Mrs B) so she knew the story between Mim & Ben. She is going to Justine’s party now & Ben & Richard are supposed to, too. I’m worried that, if mima & Ben do hit it off, that Fi will get Richard. NO!! Anyway for the moment I don’t think Ben’s as flipped over mim as she is over him. But never can tell…!!! Is 10:15 now. Busy day tomorrow.

The Camp, the Fete & Some Indecision (21-27 October)

Published on October 21, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 21/10/85

Had a fire drill today. Wowee. And another camp meeting. Everyone in our cooking group except Adrienne was away (at the geography “excursion” to Green Island.) Got Jenny’s sleeping bag also got into a BIG tantrum. It is TOO BIG. It won’t fit in either bag – without taking up all the space in it. Mum’ll have to buy me a smaller one tomorrow. [Typically high expectation from a typically naive teenager. Children are expensive – demanding – little critters!] Everyone was dull today. At Bluelight apparently Praybon took an interest in Beka (danced & kissed) Anna got fiercely Jealous. And Erica everyone forgot about her but she said she doesn’t care about him at all anymore. Early night. Am tired after weekend of good movies. Still dunno about CHS [Cairns High]. Got the art forms today.

Tuesday 22/10/85

Little excited about the camp today. Mum got me a sleeping bag & it FITS INTO my KNAPSAC!! Yahoo!! I have everything (except things I’ll need for tomorrow) already packed away. Can’t wait!! Watched part II of “Flying Doctors” thought it was last episode – but there’s a III one! IT’S SO FRIGGIN’ HOT I can’t take it!! I was alright during the day but the heat now is killing me!! Lucy came round this arvy. Went to shop – to Lucy’s & to shop again. I bought Lifesavers for the camp. met Fran & Colleen & Anna & Trudi Goodness me! Didn’t get my art forms handed in [for the special art course (CAD) at Cairns High]. I’m lucky Ms Anderson is gonna accept them, elsewhere. [elsewhere? what?!] Am tired – is 10:35 I wanna get some sleep

Wednesday 23/10/85

[It would appear that I left my diary at home for the whole time I was on the camp and filled it in upon my return. This kind of diligence obviously underlies my habit: if for some reason I’ve been unable to make an entry for one day, even now, I am compelled to recount it as soon as possible afterwards – usually the very next day. On this – and the following two – pages of the diary – I ‘highlighted’ the fact that I was away on camp by drawing diagonal lines across the pages, through the handwriting. At first sight I thought I’d made a huge mistake – like making diary entries on the wrong days or something. But then I realised I was just being ‘cute’.]

RIPPER FUN!!!! The whole camp was tops!! But first I’ll tell you what happened today. Got packed in morning & struggled to bus stop. At 9:00 got on the buses. Arrived around 10:30. Immediately noticed March flies – sooo many. After setting up & having lunch group 2 (Fi’s) & group 3 (mine) did canoeing. I went with Shane S. [to think only two years earlier I’d’ve died & gone to Heaven to be in the same canoe as him!] Fi was with Wade. Everyone swapped around. Paddled up stream (Fi, Connie & I were finally together) Had to walk canoes over rapids – got big bang & ankle is swollen now. Got back ½hr early. After dinner & relax period, activities started. Only watched nature films & did bush dancing BORING!! Fran, Fi & me finally got to sleep around 12:00 I think.

Thursday 24/10/85

After brekky (woke about 5:30) we did orienteering. It was really an obstacle course was fun, too. some things were quite hard to do!! After lunch, did canoeing again, this time Connie, me & Mr Ross went, canoed down stream in steady rain (for 1hr) took us about 3½hrs. SOOO many rapids!! We went over soo many rocks & then Mr Wilson (other teacher) blew us up! At the bridge – boys took canoes to trailers & most people squished into 2 cars. I got in one. Others had to walk back & it was a long way. Found out our tent was saturated (& sleeping bag from rain) [That wouldn’t’ve gone down well with me. I can imagine the sook I’d’ve become with that ‘tragedy’.] Lucky our bags were in Connie’s tent. After tea, watched “Killing Fields” for nite activity. Soo uncomfortable that I didn’t watch it. Slept in Sharon D’s tent

Friday 25/10/85

Woke again around 5:30. Pity it’s last day. Mainly ate up scraps for breakfast. Fires were hard to light just like last night’s. Our last activity today. HIKING – god!! the mountain was 90º! So hard to climb up – was so slippery & everything. Only got 1 leech – a baby – & it didn’t have time to start sucking blood. [I absolutely detest leeches, and still do.] Got back early. Went for a swim. (Had packed up sleeping bag & tent earlier) After lunches, buses came, we boarded and went home. Boys had egg fight at skool. Tinaroo-ers said they had fun but probably not as much as us. Nana was at home. Disorganised night. Watched movie. Glad to be home but camp was unreal. So many things that happened also but I can’t fit in. Night night!

Saturday 26/10/85

ANOTHER late night tonight!! My goodness!! Will I ever get a full night’s sleep? The fete was unreeeal! Not so good stall-wise, but many people were there and disco and fashion parade were a HUGE success. Also, tim actually talked to Justine while I was there!! But it looks as if he’s going with Joanne B. OH well!! Slept in late this morning. Watched abit of TV & did a bitta drawing – wasted day in other words. Tim was hunky in parade!! He actually looked at me while Justine was talking with him – but only when I butted in. Still, it’s a start – he could (must) get to know me better!! WADDA HUNK! Is 12:54 now ni nite

Sunday 27/10/85

Today was another complete waste! I woke late again (believe it or not) & lazed around all day. Watched TV, did some drawings & the questionaire for the art thingo. [CAD] My interview is tomorrow. Got my samples [‘portfolio’] ready. I’m going same time as Fran (we’re latecomers) Did absolutely no HW whatsoever TERRIBLE!! Shoulda, huh?! Had a water fight with Julia. Pretty boring day. Am having second thoughts about Cairns High. I like Tim still. & after the fete, who knows?? I thought he disliked me for some reason. Hope he doesn’t. Wanna be a friend then who knows??!! [Oh…my…God! Seriously? *shakes head, rolls eyes* Here’s a perfect example of what NOT to do in life – make decisions based around others. Especially others who seem to barely know you exist. Tsk, tsk!]

Hair Styling & Washing Machine Angst (1-7 July)

Published on July 3, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

From here on in blogposts will drop back to weekly because we have caught up to a ‘chronological parallel’. In fact perfectly, from the point of view that the days of the week even correspond. Weekly posts will allow readers to keep up better (most of you not having time to log on daily) and give me some breathing space in the transcription process. I will post diary entries every Monday, to coincide with the first day of each blog. In other words, the next diary transcription will be posted on Monday 8 July 2013.

Monday 1/7/85

I’ve just realized that there’s now only 8 days till my birthday!! And, guess what – I’m not very excited!! I can’t believe it. Today mum rang early & said that they drove straight thru’ townsville & got home 12:30 last nite (or this morning) She picked me up (my stuff) & I rode home. then we went to work & picked up Julia. (Dad asked me wot I wanted 4 my birthday; Jenny’s car’s smashed (not her fault) & more trouble with Jackie) Got school blouses & skirt material. Spent rest of day reading Smash Hits’es & reading TV (watching, I mean!) Now am gonna have a late night. Feel like drawing.

Tuesday 2/7/85

Woke early to the sounds of the washing machine. Swore cos’ I couldn’t block out the sound to get to sleep again. Cranky day for Julia & me again. Played cards or watched TV or played monopoly or ate or read magazines. Petra came around early in the arvy & is now sleeping the night. We played tiggy in the park just before dusk, which tired me out. Am now going to watch the final part of the mini-series “lace“. Will be good. I think the first part was great, at least! I still think Steven B’s a hunk & I can’t believe what I missed out on. [There you have it – Regret as a result of disappointment in myself; my lack of courage in the face of Opportunity] Also, mum’s started making my school skirts. [Mum was pretty handy with a sewing machine. Besides other everyday wardrobe pieces, she made most of our school skirts for as long as I can remember, made soft furnishings for the house – including curtains, doona covers & covers for the entire lounge suite – and even into my 20’s she made some amazing outfits for me for special events. I’m beginning to think there was very little my Mum couldn’t do.]

Wednesday 3/7/85

Woken again by the washing machine & tried again, unsuccessfully, to block out the noise. Petra, Julia & I immediately began a game of monopoly (which Petra won) that finished around lunchtime. Ate HEAPS today. Feel so guilty. Rest of the day was spent in front of the TV or drawing. Quite boring & wasteful. BUT the big thing is there’s only 4 days until SCHOOL! OH NO. It’s not fair – not fair – not fair. I hate school. But, then, there’s only 6 days till my Birthday. Still, I’m not excited & keep forgetting about it. Man from Snowy River is on now (on TV) Is good.

Thursday 4/7/85

Another day gone. Another wasted day. I woke around 8:30. Breakfast, played cards, watched TV, ate, watched TV, ate, watched TV, ate, Petra came, played cards, ate, nana came, ate, went to park & played tiggy. Rachel from next door came over & played it, then Melanie, Jodie & Melinda S. Went home at 5:00. (while playing, bumped my shin twice in the same place on the rungs of the slippery slide. Now have a big EGG or LUMP. Hurts!!!!) Watched TV. Julia’s at Petra’s tonight. I’m having an early night. Want to diet back at school. Have put on 5KG [Hmmm, ‘Boredom Eater’ perhaps?]

Friday 5/7/85

ANOTHER wasted day. HOWEVER I didn’t eat as much!! I woke up & instantly began playing cards (patience) to occupy time. Julia came home at 8:00 then we watched TV. So I had brekky at 11:00. Watched TV. Had lunch at 12:00. Watched TV & helped julia style her hair. Watched TV & Petra came – played monopoly but Jules & her left (to do babysitting at our old house) is now staying at Petra’s the night. I watched TV & cleaned out mum’s middle dresser drawer (top) Found two love letters that Geoff wrote mum ages ago. Feel guilty cos I read them. Cleaned shower & basin while in bath. Am gonna watch the movie MAD MAX I & hopefully the Dudley Moore special!!

Saturday 6/7/85

Another waste!!! God, this is getting boring, huh? Julia came home & told us the gory details of how our once-lovely house (Megan Close) has been wrecked by the monsters who bought it (I’m exaggerating) I also fixed my hair (kinda) like Madonna’s. Loaded it with gel. Looked good – felt terrible. [I remember this vividly. I was chuffed at how closely it replicated Madonna’s, but it really did take a crapload of gel to get it to withstand the forces of gravity. And one helluva lot of shampoo to wash it out as well.] Ate today. Watched TV. Experimented with make-up. And also bored myself to death. Wanted to ring Justine & talk to her about this “Steven B.” business (how he hates Lucy, Anna likes him & me too.) Decided my cover could be asking wot day it would be on Monday (though I already know it’s Day 5) BUT I tried all arvy. She mustn’t be back from hol’s (holidays) yet.

Sunday 7/7/85

DAD’S BIRTHDAY. MY last day of Bliss (?!??) was spent drably (in a boring manner) as per usual. I ate, played cards, read old Archie comics & felt, tired, lethargic, fat, ugly, stupid, groggy…. But the thing is; I don’t know whether I like holidays anymore than school (which I HATE) cos’ on holidays I put on weight (this time – 5kgs) or/and get bored out of my mind. Rang Justine – she was home!! She had a great holiday. Told her about Steven. She couldn’t really help. OH WELL… Am not excited that there’s only 2 days till my birthday. But once I get my prezzys… Dad got a camera from the W’s (Jacqui, Jenny & Anthony) & (get this) nothing from anyone else besides us & Nana. If he hasn’t got anything, I won’t either! BOO HOO!! [Oh you little Materialist!]