work – Page 2 – A Life in Words

Talking Heads, Don Quixote & Cookaburra’s Corner (16-22 June)

Published on June 16, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 16/6/86

A Life in Words — This postcard looks very much like it is from the 80’s!

Woke a little later today… about 8:00 These late nights really make me tired. Today we went to the beach. I can’t believe how long this ‘stint’ is continuing [the continuous sleepovers: in the past our parents (collectively) hadn’t ever allowed this many consecutive sleepovers] Mima & Monique are staying tonight too. Mrs B drove us into the Gumtree Corner (after we’d cleaned up etc) where we caught the Northern Beaches bus to Trinity Beach. It was excellent. We sunbaked, swam (very little) and occasionally went to the shop to pig out [that i, stuff ourselves with rubbish]. Tim S was there with Gary & Chris C, Jason M, Rachel D & some others. He’s a reject [noun, negative connotation] (tried to get mima’s phone number…) went back to mima’s (caught bus to “Talking Heads” [one of the trendiest hair salons in Cairns at the time]) mima packed and Mrs B dropped us here. We got ready (& mucked around) then went to the Eisteddfod. Marge got 2nd hers was better tho, I think. Otherwise it was bloody boring. After we were to meant to catch a taxi home, but we all (M& H too) walked around looking for a cafe; were followed [?? by whom? what? I don’t know what I meant here] but soon found Don Quixote Really neat. Got home by taxi – just enough money. SUNBURN!! ouch

Tuesday 17/6/86

Woke rather early again. The beds I made up were bloody uncomfortable and slept badly. Today, Sharon rang. mima & monique went home around 10:30 the time sharon was going to come. Thank god she came after they went (I’d told her a stack of lies about what I’d been doing “lately”; she’s bitching about mima & monique especially) Anyway, we played monopoly rather boring and dragged out (esp. cos I lost) then ate big scrumptious lunch and went to shop to pig out. Sharon rode home around 2:00 (athletics training) I lazed round at home. Rang mima and she said we couldn’t really meet Lucy at the airport so around 5:00 Mrs B dropped us at Monique’s. Beautiful house and really great parents!! [Although I didn’t realise it at the time, this was the inception of a new and very special friendship for me. In the coming months, Monique & I became, as her parents even put it, “inseparable”. She was the first ‘best friend’ I’d since early primary school. My very own best friend, so I no longer felt I was playing ‘third wheel’ to Jemima and Fiona] Walked to vid. shop convinced monique not to get a horror [movie]. Another lateish nite again. Shit. I’m worn out! Has definitely not been boring Hols so far!!!

Wednesday 18/6/86

Woke fairly early (about 7:00) Boy was it good to sleep in a bed on my own for once!! We lazed round, reading etc and got ready to go to Earlville after bacon & eggs brekky. Almost got eyeshadows there, but couldn’t decide between 3 sets. After, went to town (mima was shopping for clothes for Japan) met Brent. Dropped monique home & my stuff home. Got out at Lucy’s; mim, Brent, me, Lucy & Beka walked up to mima’s and watched a video. Initially it was strange seeing Lucy again; didn’t know what to say! But was good – told her about Mark!! (she seemed “pleased” enough) Walked home. (Mum’s been sick – but is on the road to recovery and I think I have caught Julia’s cold) Fi came shopping today but stuck close to polly in fact did everything with polly. mima actually talked to me ’bout it on the way to her place (when no one else was there) she said what a bitch fiona was today [only words of hurt]. I’m thinking Jemima’s not so fussed on Fi anymore. [Just a phase. Teenaged girls!!] Clues (??) that she likes me more?? (than before) things like “Mark and Brent are good friends….” [which I don’t think was the case]

Thursday 19/6/86

Slept badly last night. Woke up all the time – throat extremely sore. Not quite as and now, but it’s definite that I have a cold. You can always tell – I start off with mucus→ sore throat from sucking it back → nasal congestion or “runniness”→ (perhaps) a cough. Woe is me! Sharon came round quite late this morning. We played monopoly again, had lunch then both had to relax. Sharon was sick (said she’d caught wog off boy over the road: they trained together) So we drove her home a lot later. Poor thing -she was quite pale. Wondering what Jemima did today was going to ring her, but never got round to it → also had sore (still have) throat so not easy to talk. wonder if she’s talking with Fi again. Also wondered [1] what Lucy did today, [2] when I’ll get my haircut, [and 3, when I’ll] go raging with Lucy & everyone etc 9:39 Uhoh! mucus again. Please God no!! When will I go to work?

Friday 20/6/86

Well, the sore throat is no more → now comes the nasal congestion and ‘tightness’ in the throat→ tendency to cough which makes me talk funny. (my voice that is) [Some – in fact many – would say I talk funny anyway. Now. I have a ‘distinctive’ (nasally) voice, I believe.] Today was my first really boring day of the holidays. Yes, I finally resorted to watching TV. Played cards with Julia. Looked at magazines Did everything “trivial” and totally boring. But, while cleaning (dusting) my furniture this arvy Lucy called and around 6:15 we went to dinner at Cookaburra’s Corner -new restaurant was alright→ fairly expensive. Had entree and main; couldn’t eat more so left early. Went back to Lucy’s for 1½hrs. Talked’n’watched TV. Cold seems to be getting better! (??) Julia almost went to court today about Jenny’s car crash last year. [?? I don’t remember anything about this either] She was a witness. 11:22. Wanna go out and rage. Gonna work tomorrow! 1st time in about 4 weeks!! UMAH!!!!

Saturday 21/6/86

Work! Yes! I worked! Believe it or not. I got there early but didn’t start work until 11:00 or so cos’ I spent time playing computer games on Dad’s new computer. Got $20 for (approx.) 5 hours work. And after; got home around 6:30 mum had gone with Geoff to the Clarkes for dinner (and Julia was gonna spend the night at dad’s) I rang Lucy she and Beka walked over & I grabbed some gear to stay the night after ringing mum about it. Went to Mr W’s girlfriend’s house for dinner then went straight to sleep once at ‘home’! Played a lot of cards!!

Sunday 22/6/86

Woke rather late (think I got almost 8-9hrs sleep!!) We had late brekky and just played cards’n’watched TV. I left just after 1:00 after we’d been to the shop (!!) Got ready for beach party back at home. (I ended up being too dressed up and split my white skirt→ so I borrowed Erica’s denim shorts) Was alright. Lotsa ‘couples’ – was depressing. But the fire and moon kept me dreaming. [You know the trance you can fall into when fire- or moon- gazing?] One time, Steven told Polly to say “Elissa, how’s Mark?” I said “who?” “Mark” “Mark who?” and Steven said “Good one Polly!” What does that mean? [I think it means you were being baited Liss] Does Steven know I like Mark or Mark likes me? How embarrassing. that got me wondering. I thought mark didn’t want anyone to know. Late nite after all. about 11:30. Maybe Mark told Steven at the dance maybe mark does want everyone to know [oh so innocent….naive!]

Popularity, Pottery & the Technicoloured Dreamcoat (19-25 May)

Published on May 19, 2014 by Elissa Coxen1 Comment

Monday 19/5/86

Yet, there is hope. In maths, Chris K reckoned that he knows about 15 guys who like me (& Ben P. knows another 4) all his friends. Chris reckons I’m the most popular girl now. (On the bio excursion “all the guys were coming upstream just to see me.”) Guys say “Have you seen that Elissa? She’s beautiful…” Skint. [Ok, not to belittle myself, but….seriously? Even with hindsight, I’m unsure of this guy’s motivation. I think ‘story-teller’ Chris was being relatively truthful, but… why bother telling me all of this? To put me on the spot. I have a feeling that my bashfulness and modesty was so overt that it was worth the effort to make me uncomfortable, for sheer entertainment purposes.] And also, ‘everyone’ (at least, Sharon, Fi & Mima) has organised a surprise for me at Angela M’s next party. Cos its in June (holidays) I think it’d either be to do with my birthday or what Chris was saying in maths. (Hope not the latter.) But it feels kinda good to be “popular”. [Ego!] I don’t quite believe it actually. I thought he really was bullshitting. [Hmmm, yeah, go with your Gut] 9:30. Talked to Cameron (back seat) of bus today. Pretty good day. Enjoyed it. Am so tired now. Riding 2morrow. Did no HW. Umah.

Tuesday 20/5/86

Ratshit day. Found out the surprise was a surprise party for me! Ha! [Weird, my birthday is in JULY…?] Now they won’t have it!! Also Alan C told me that Peter P likes me (I knew anyway) YUK. And then ‘everyone’ found out. And wouldn’t shut up about it. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. [Well that’s hardly fair is it? “Hating” someone you don’t know at all because you don’t happen to be attracted to him? Is it because of the unwanted attention drawn to you as a result? I think so.] I wish Mark liked me (I have a feeling he’s not one of the 19 who like me) I know 3 of them now; Dwain, Peter & Greg K (??) not sure about him. But Chris told me about him. Rode today too. MARK’S BIRTHDAY♥♥ Never to forget. Fi’s birthday Thurs. what’ll I get her?? 8:42 Early night for once?? He is the cutest (Mark that is) oh, love him, love him love him love him him ♥ mark for me!! [Oh PUR-LEEEEEASE…]

Wednesday 21/5/86

I’m ready for the cold!! Tonite’s min. is expected 13ºC!!! Was cool all day today too!! Didn’t have to do fabric painting today- had a go on the pottery wheels until Megan & this other girl started smoking [IN the classroom…]. Mr Pugh came in & told everyone to stop & pack up. [No doubt he’d’ve smelt it from another room] Megan & Joanne owned up much too late. So we did nothing for the rest of the time. Couldn’t get Fi a present, so went to speech, then bought a cake from Freshy & am gonna take it (all iced up) tomorrow, then I’ll give her a prezzy after school (when I go into town & get it) Cake is choc. covered in pink icing saying “EAT ME! Fiona” With yellow & green & orange squiggles. Really cute!! and yummy I’ll bet!!! Dunno what to get for a present!

Thursday 22/5/86

FI’S BIRTHDAY Oh, I wish Mark was having a party. I feel like partying this weekend. Oh well… ate Fi’s cake within 3 minutes this morning (“everyone” pigged out!) Gave her a “toblerone” & swatchguard tonight at Smithfield’s concert musical “Technicoloured Dream Coat.” (Was alright for a first; glad I go to CHS; smithfield “friends” are biggest snobs out – melissa b, natalie w, ian c, kel b & shane s) Erica & Adrienne were excellent in their dancing parts!! Laughed so much at their mistakes! (not Erica & Adrienne’s… the actors!!) Today, also, Ms Marsland talked to me about yesterday afternoon & about how Ms Black & Mr Pugh were a bit cheesed off. Suggested I apologise. Told mima & Fi too. They went together. I had to do mine alone. [I’m not sure why we had to apologise when we weren’t the offenders… unless it was because we failed to ‘out’ the smokers, which could have been read by the teachers as an act of ‘solidarity’? Beats me.] 10:07 by Mickey Mouse watch (my digital one’s stuffed→ battery’s flat or something.)

Friday 23/5/86

Just watched Flying High. God it was funny! Really boring day today. In fact probably the most boring day I’ve ever spent at Cairns High. 10:42 (my watch is fixed→ the new battery cost $9) Jeez I am tired. My eyes were really straining to stay open during the movie. Have to do a lot of HW this weekend; english, chemistry especially. Mark is yum, yum. Oh I wish more than anything in the world (??) that he was crazy about me; totally flipped over me. I like him so much. [I so want to scream at my younger self: “You don’t even KNOW him!”] Theatre Night on Saturday night (theatre kids perform) Hope he goes (cos’ I think I am) I’d love it – not that I think anything’d happen – never does. OH I WISH….. Night, Night!

Saturday 24/5/86

“Flashdance” just finished – it’s 11:21 – I am tired – and have a full day of HW & study ahead of me. Exams start this Friday – Chemistry on Friday for me (PES for YKW) Worked all day (well, 10:15 till 6:00) on labels (worth $31 – but got only $30) [Love how my Dad decides on a whim that he’ll change the pay rate or under-pay me whenever he feels like it.] Boring. Rushed home at 6:45 got ready & went to theatre night at CHS. Mark wasn’t there. In fact, barely anyone was. (‘Twas quite boring actually) Eyes are sore. Gosh I’d love another party (wished Mark’d have one for his birthday – maybe he did & I wasn’t invited) OH I AM TIRED. Boring. Absolutely Nothing exciting happened today. (My teeth are getting a (slight) gap between them again) OH NO. Mark 4 me! (Got a new desk 2day, too)

Sunday 25/5/86

Wanted to do lots of HW & study today. Ended up spending ‘whole’ day on my english assignment & even then, didn’t finish it. Ratshit. Wanted to get quotes for english & do all my chemistry HW, revision sheets (as well as maths). Mucked around a bit too. Oh shit. Is 10:07. Watching the Black Stallion on TV. (Hopefully) will finish soon. Am bugared. Chemistry exam this FRIDAY. Shit, I’m gonna fail, severely. Oh what am I gonna do?? [It’s called study, and being Sunday, you still have 4 days left in which to do some. SUCH a Worry Wart!] Ate a fair bit today – 4 fish fillets, cereal, mandarin sultanas, 3 biscuits, bowl of chips & 2 pieces toast. Howz that? (Sickening) God I’m tired. And a bit worried too. What the hell’ll I do about Chemistry? (And English? And maths) Aaaarg!! [Say no more!]

The Cast of Grease & the Honour Rejected (12-18 May)

Published on May 12, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 12/5/86

He was on a geography excursion today. I caught a glance of him as he was getting on the bus. So the “school” was quite empty i.e.: only Keith, Cameron, Brent (really) were left. “Excitement” about the party – everyone gossiping. Angie J has told all the girls they were only kissing but the guys knew differently. Personally, I believe she did have sex with him. [I really think this belief is half based in jealousy (obviously) but also Pessimism: assuming the ‘worst’.] A little depressing today was, on our way home (we (Fi & I) were in the back seat (“as usual)) & Cameron was too. were talking about ‘loves’ Cameron says most of the guys like Sharon. (think she’s good looking, anyway) Mark too. He didn’t say much about that. But I’m wondering seriously whether Mark does like Sharon or not. I keep telling myself ME MEANS NOTHING TO ME. [Haha, keep going…] 9:40. Jeez, I’m confused. I wish someone would tell me, straight out, whether Mark likes me or not. [Strangely enough it’s these comments that piss me off the most, now. FFS, was I really such a persistently wishful-thinking sook?! Oops, now I have to chastise myself for being so hard on myself! Especially being so hard on my little 15 year-old self.]

Tuesday 13/5/86

It’s 9:52. I’m watching part one of “Gone With the Wind”. It’s on TV. If it doesn’t finish soon, I’ll have to go to bed – I’m bugared. [That’s right, it WAS an Epic film wasn’t it? A 4 hour saga, it was actually broken up into two parts for television. Is it sill the longest (commercial/popular) film ever made?] Rode today. Riding home, stopped at Stratford (Fi got off the bus) & talked to Beka & Justine & Kym. Then Fi & mima (doubled [as in, doubled on a bike]) came over. At 5:30 they left. I did a little HW, had dinner, a bath & went to mima’s to watch “Grease”. Was great. Am so excited about the play! Today I was happy, in the morning. It “appeared” to me that Mark was trying to make me notice him. (Sharon shamed me – talking about him, in the library, and he was standing just behind) S’pose to have been ignoring Angie which made me happy too. But then he was talking to her later. Oh well. On the other hand, it wouldn’t be so good if someone told me whether Mark liked me or not cos if the answer was no I’d be mighty upset. [That’s Life, chick.]

Wednesday 14/5/86

9:55. Riding tomorrow. Stuff “Gone with the Wind”. I’m too tired to watch it. Pity, tho, huh? I HATE WEDNESDAYS so much. Cameron’s hanging around Mark a lot more since I told him that I like Mark. (Wonder why?) It’s probably got nothing to do with that. [Yep!] But I hate Wednesdays. And I “love” Mark (I know it’s not love, but if I could become goods friends – I’m sure it’d grow) [Well at least I was ‘aware’ enough to know that saying I loved someone didn’t necessarily mean I did…?!?] Ms. Black doesn’t like me, I’m sure. Mim & I didn’t do anything in recreational art today. Found out who got in the play Grease. I’m not listed. Either’s mima. Heather: Sandy, AnnMarie: Rizzo, Peta R: Marty, Clare McK – Frenchie, Tootsie is Patty, Steven – Danny, Neville Kenicki, Brent is Roger. Wow. I am tired. Speech – boring. HATE Wednesdays. Fi & I were asked to be ushers for the Yr 12 formal. Have to have partners so I own’t go. Everyone thinks I’m crazy (I know I am)

Thursday 15/5/86

Got a letter from Lucy: am writing back now – must also write back to Fran. News is she’s coming up in June Holidays for sure!!!! Riding to school today I had a prang on Aeroglen Drive: skinned my right knee – that’s all shook me up, tho→ I fell straight over & couldn’t get up for shaking. A council truck drove past & the 3 guys laughed. I chucked an enormous flash!!! [For those unaware, “chucking a flash” meant giving an eyeful – whether deliberately or accidentally – to some one – or more – of things you would rather or should NOT!] Shame. I went to the doctor’s this arvy too. Dr D said my nose is normal – the only way to rid nasality is speech exercises [read: I had a “lazy soft palate” so had to exercise the muscle – like any other weak muscles in the body] and I’ll just have to keep using my Becotide (until hopefully I grow out of my allergies) 9:35. I was kinda bored – unsettled today. I don’t want to do this ushering – but Carla reckons it’s an honour – so I can’t back out. What the fuck will I do?? I won’t get a partner. Am tired. I think. Kinda pissed off. Asked Mark a Q in Bio today. Barely answered

Friday 16/5/86

The “ushering” thing pushed me to my limits today. Spent almost whole lunch hour with Carla, Clare, Maureen B, & Heather, trying to decide what to do. I didn’t want to but according to Carla it was an honour – and I couldn’t refuse. But I have. I got so upset at the end – talking to Fi, that my eyes watered & I didn’t go to the dancing in tutorial. I am not going. It is part to do with Steven (being my partner, cos I don’t really know him well) but mostly in-confidence. i.e.: not enough. [Again, at least I was aware of and honest about my ‘failings’] Cameron couldn’t believe (& Brent) that I backed out. It’s almost as if he really wanted me to go. Ha! Anyway I’m not. It’s 10:15. Went late night: bought pr men’s PJ’s (snuggy!!) & fantastic new adidas sandshoes. I LOVE THEM!! In Coles, talking to Maureen – she offered me a job. think I might take it up, next time. So many people came up & said Hi. But I didn’t see Mark at all. BOO HOO. Also, in the carpark, I dropped a whole bag of oranges!! SHAME!! I couldn’t stop laughing: Torstein & this cute guy were doing trolleys helped me pick them up. HOW EMBARRASSING! ALSO – went to Freshy Pub with Geoff 4 tea. I didn’t eat. [??]

Saturday 17/5/86

Earned $23. Yes! I am getting my normal $4 rate – but I’ll still ask Maureen about a job at school on Monday. Boring. Rushed home, rushed & got ready & rushed to pick up Nana to hurry & get to the Railway Station on time to pick up mum’s uncle (nana’s husband’s brother) [This took me a moment to work out: my grandmother was married twice, but this particular man would have been mum’s real (blood) relative – the brother of her father, whom I never met. Mum’s dad (my grandfather) died while mum was a teenager. Coincidentally, so did my father’s mother (my grandmother on the other side) Beginning to realise that there has been a fair bit of ‘premature death’ in my immediate family unit]. That took bloody 10 mins. Rush for nothing! Then we dropped Nana home & at the moment, I’m still writing Letter to lucy while watching Saturday Night Fever on TV (again) 10:22. I wish I could hurry & finish the letter. I’d like to get to bed – have heaps HW for tomorrow. Wanna get it done.

Sunday 18/5/86

“Officer & A Gentleman” will be finished soon, I think (I hope – it’s 10:42) Today, I did a bit of chemistry, maths & english HW. Just bits. But I’m glad I did do some of my english – at least I know where I’m at with my assignment. —Yes!! Now it’s finished and I love it! (the movie) now it’s 10:51. Pretty Cool tonight (i.e.: cooler than usual – and the usual is pretty cool now) Wrote to Fran today. Also ate quite little, thank god. But I’m tired. I think. I must’ve down something to my waist/hips/ribs when I fell off my bike, cos ever since then, around my waist, hurts when I laugh, etc (also had sore muscles esp in my right upper arm) maybe I pulled muscle?!! [Ya think?] School. I can wear my fab new shoes. Love ’em: just like Lucy’s and Rebecca G’s. LOVE THEM!

Grease Auditions & A Miniature Rose (5-11 May)

Published on May 5, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 5/5/86

9:25. Gotta get some sleep tonight. Have had late nights very night this weekend. Green Island was not really fantastic. The only ones who turned up were me, Sharon, Fi, Joannah, Michelle W & a girl from CHS – Tracy. Was quite boing. Perfect weather except a bit choppy which meant the water was “cool” Justine was there – doing scuba diving lessons. We talked a fair while with her (Fi & me) We swam, sunbaked, walked, ate and jumped off the jetty (it’s illegal now, though) Pity. It’s unreal fun. I’m so tired. Wonder if we’re riding tomorrow. I forgot to ring up mima about it. Sharon told me last night that [I’m omitting the name here for privacy reasons] ‘s not a virgin – I don’t know whether to believe her or not. It’s “strange” to think about.

Tuesday 6/5/86

Steven talks to us (Fi, Sharon & me) quite a lot (He did today at Big lunch) I wish Mark would come over. He must be either shy or hate our guts. I don’t think, somehow, that it would be the latter. I hope not, anyway. I ate a fair bit this arvy and did little HW. Rang fi & mima – said they weren’t going to ride but they weren’t on the bus. (Jemima rang fi later & said she would miss the bus cos’ she wouldn’t be ready in time, so they rode: left at 8:15.) I spent before school in the library with Sharon. Is 9:35. Wanna sleep & dream. I dreamt last night that I had a party & every (even people I didn’t know) turned up except Mark – I was “waiting” for him. Windy cool. Sharon gave me a miniature rose this morning. I kept it all day till it started to die so I gave it to Ngaire R. [Er, that’s not very appropriate, Liss]

Wednesday 7/5/86

I auditioned [for the school musical, which was to be ‘Grease’]!! At speech, mima’s worries got me excited & I decided I had to go, at least to give her moral support, if not to try out. After much ‘inner-brain argument” [Oh, THAT stuff. That happens all the time in my head], I had to go. And fared better than some others, if I say so myself. [This is strange – I don’t recall doing very well at all. In fact I thought my atrocious singing had knocked me out of contention pretty much immediately] Boring school day otherwise (cos’ I hate Wednesdays – everyone (mostly Mark) leaves the school grounds.) I wonder what activity he does? Am hot. Is 10:26. Last night I had a dream that Alan (guy at school) was going with me to a party, but Fi took him away – coincidence: today mima was showing him to her. Also I dreamt Fi took off on her bike & left me. Mim & her almost were going to grab a bike and go to Kentucky fried in town (probably leaving me) Hot. am I now It isn’t usually [hot] in the day[time].

Thursday 8/5/86

Back Seat again! This time, the bus was more full. Didn’t bleed much today. […in case you were wondering…!] If it’s the same tomorrow (hopefully – please!) I can go swimming at the Cascades on our Bio excursion. Had more auditions at lunchtime today. Mima & lotsa others were sent out. I got to read Marty again, but I don’t think I was too good. I wish….!! Cheery kind of day – felt happy cos everyone especially Joannah & Tricia & Angie are being so nice to me. Drool over Mark like I do every day. I’m coming to terms with the fact that he’s out of my reach. Totally. And I think he likes Angela J, anyway. 9:50. Young Ones & the D Generation were’t so funny today. Intereference in Young Ones→ station troubles. [I think Cairns still had only two TV channels back then: the ABC and whichever commercial station the local provider FNQ10 was aligned with at the time. So we always had ‘Aunty’] Am tired. So there! So much HW didn’t get ½ done!!

Friday 9/5/86

My neck’s out. – has been all day. At first I thought it was just sore muscles all across my upper back & shoulders, but after a hot shower there was no difference. It’s still sore now. The excursion was pretty good! Mark didn’t talk to me at all, though Dwain – his partner, did. He took temp. measure for me, tho (didn’t talk, tho) and, there was one time when (for a while) he had his mirror sunglasses on, sitting on ‘high’ rocks. My idea being that he was looking at me (his head was turned my way but he must have figured that, being mirror glasses, no one could see exactly who he was looking at) ME? I hope! Told I was invited to Terry’s party. Would like to go cos Mark’ll be there, but hardly anyone’s going (girls, that is) Is 11:10 work 2morrow. Lotsa HW this weekend. Work tomorrow→ apparently Julia & I will hafta go to town & buy mum a mum’s day prezzy.

Saturday 10/5/86

‘So near and yet so far’. That’s what they say, isn’t it? There are all the (well, most, or… at least some of) signs that he likes me. He sat near me, looked at me (I sprung him sometimes (?)) and even came up to talk to me, but ___ Angela J had to come sooner or later. And it was always sooner. Soon “everyone” would be there & Angie (drunk) kissing Mark. I left & he even said ‘you can come back now’ (he wanted me to) But I (stupid, dumb, shy bitch) said no – so he went into the campavan with Angie & I didn’t see him again. [I had written about the party in another notebook in much more detail: describing how at one stage he was sitting quite close to me when Angie “came up and sat, spread-eagled, on his lap…kissing him, full-on, in front of me” which sent me packing but at a later point, he approached me as I stood solo leaning against a car. In no time however, a couple of other guys rocked up (one with a knife in his possession, which scared me) as well as Angie “kissing full-on, in front of me, again”. So I again made an escape – to a darker, more out-of-the-way place but he found me and told me (with regard to the knife-wielder) it was safe, I “could come back now”. But “thinking of Angie & him…wanting to save myself the discomfort…and hoping he’d stay with me” I declined and sat alone in the dark for awhile.] I should have talked to him more & perhaps suggested we go for a walk. Sure he likes me. WHY can’t I react?? I earned $19 at work, cos went shopping with Jenny beforehand (saw MW) & got M’s Day Prezzy – flannel sheets. Is 12:13. Am so depressed & hating myself (& Angie J) more & more.

[And in the ‘Notes’ section, just underneath my lamentation on 3 May, “longing” for a party, I’d answered myself with this:]

Hey yes Terry C did (10th) and the results? well go back to the 10th & find out (This silly little diary! I must get a bigger one next year – so I can write more about how I feel etc)

Sunday 11/5/86

Expected minimum tonight will be 19ºC!! Hooray!! Today, I spent all day on my art picture. So that means I haven’t done my english assignment or my Biology HW (& some maths) Too bad!! Sharon rang in the morning. We talked. (her problem with Terry & mine with Mark) She thinks he might have been trying to make me jealous. & that’s what I thought. [Ah…. no.] Hoped. I’ll just convince myself that he doesn’t like me – to be on the safe side (instead of getting my hopes up) & try and become good friends with him. Try is the key word. I woke at 6:30. So I got about 5hrs sleep last night. And it’s 10 past 11 now; Another late nite!! SHIT! Didn’t make mum brekky this morning. Felt terrible. [Mum was always an early riser, so it was often difficult to get her breakfast in bed anyway. Not that I am making an excuse!] In fact did next to NOTHING. All these people who rang up & said they’d made their mums brekky in bed (including Anthony W [my stepbrother-to-be]: yes!) made me feel terrible cos I didn’t. R.S. [Ratshit] Day!!

World War 3, Butter Menthols & a Very Tactile Dream (14-20 April)

Published on April 14, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 14/4/86

Mark was away at baseball trials and was accepted in the country team (Qld country, that is) Unreal, huh?! Good to see him again – drool. I Failed chemistry like I had the feeling I would 18½/40. Which accounts for 4.625% out of the 10% it was worth. [I’m surprised I didn’t chastise myself here] I should’ve worn a jumper today. It wasn’t cold; but I knew the coolness wasn’t doing me any good with this cold. [We still believed it was better to “sweat out” a cold. Old wive’s tale.] Bio tomorrow (looking forward to it!) Jemima went to NightHawkes Saturday night, with Sharon for Anne-Marie’s party. From what Anne-Marie told me, I gathered no (or not many – esp. M) didn’t go. But I think she might think she’s a bit high-and-mighty now. [I think I’m referring to Jemima here, not Anne-Marie] Wish I could go. I think Fi does too – but she’s allowed anyway. 9:33. Must get some sleep tonight. Am always so tired at school.

Tuesday 15/4/86

We are on the EVE OF WW III

Today at 11am, the US bombed the capital of Libia. The USSR have now moved 40 Battleships from the Black Sea to surround 20 US subs in the Mediterraenen. THIS Is the eve of the 3rd World War

I hate the world. Why? Why? Why is there so much hatred & violence & corruption? And to think this is INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF PEACE. WHY CAN’T WE HAVE IT??

I lost my appetite at dinner & this arvy. [My guess is because of the news. I’m clearly quite passionate and I know this hasn’t really changed much, so I take action to avoid getting ‘worked up’ like deliberately not watching the news, or reading papers] It’s 9:00. I hi-lited all the bits about Mark in my diary this arvy. Dunno why. Kept my jumper on all day – don’t feel as clogged up now. Bad mucus this morning. Couldn’t suck it back. Mark is such a spunky name!

Wednesday 16/4/86

They said Reagan bombed Libia again, last night. The feud continues…. I was so bored today. All my subjects except Biology bored me.. Even recreation “Fabric Painting”. Borwing! But sneaked out & talked to Tina S & Deyanne H. Also saw Karen G & Jane O. [All old Smithfield High classmates] But ‘best(??)’ bit was when we were let out at 2:55!! Sharon & me & Cameron talked & joked while waiting for the bus And it was funny! He’s wierd! (Nah!) Forgot about speech again, too. Cold is average – fading. Bad mucus which I can’t suck back or even spit out is always at the back of my throat & is VERY annoying. [I had bronchial issues for a lot of my childhood and if I get a cold nowadays, my recovery is protracted if the infection makes it to my chest.] Is 8:42. I asked mum about Nighthawkes. She said “NO”. Bitch. [What? A mother is a bitch because she won’t let her 15 year old daughter go to a nightclub? For the record, Jemima was never ‘allowed’ either…] Jemima’s smoking. I thought it was Megan’s fault (still do a bit) But apparently Fi said she wanted to start anyway. I think she should do what she feels, but personally I’d hope she’d stop. So does Sharon & Brent & some others. SHARON’s really mad about it. HATES MEGAN TOO.

Thursday 17/4/86

Well, well, well. Today was ‘fair’. My overdue library book which was lost in the art room I finally cleared up. The Librarian(s) was(were) very nice. They didn’t expect me to pay for a book which someone else had misplaced. It’ll just go on the ‘lost book’ list. Spent lunch & time before school with Sharon in Library, doing her english assignment. [I have a feeling I was helping her…not just keeping her company…] And little-lunch I stayed at art room. Made a big mistake – took a packet of butter menthols [throat lozenges] to school – I had about 1/5 of the lot!! [In other words, everyone else ‘scabbed’ them off me.] My mucus congestion was really bad yesterday & this morning. So thick I could neither spit it out or suck it back. But I took 2 sudafed tablets & after period 1, I was clear!! [You don’t say? Pseudoephedrine cleared up your mucous? Wow. Bet it made you a little bit ‘happier’ too…] (Mostly) YAY!! Is 10:06 Went late night shopping at Earlville. Boring – Really. Had Kentucky Fried for tea. Haven’t started my english assign. yet.

Friday 18/4/86

It’s 11:02. I’m bugared, but the Logies will be over in about 30 mins. Today was a “depressing” day. I was shitty (trying to be) with Cameron cos he got shitty when I tried to get on the bus before him. [Wow, really? Chivalry was obviously dead in the 80’s] I think he called me a bitch too. Then, before double art, Steven B & Mark♥?? were ‘crowding’ the door, so I kinda ducked through. I heard Mark mention ‘impatient’. I think he called me impatient. Thinking that upset me [OMG – hypersensitive! It was mostly likely said in jest. But in my defence, I was quite intimidated by him.] then there was general depression thinking about my weekend – boring again. See, Megan (Jemima’s influential friend) has invited almost everyone to her place for dinner Saturday night, to the movies & to her place sunday to watch videos. Except me. She even asked most people right in front of me – I knew she didn’t like me. mima said she did. Didn’t hand in any eng. assignment. Mr Grossetti was away. Russell Francis [a renowned photographer for the city’s newspaper, the Cairns Post] took CAD photos today. I’m gonna be famous!! (Nah.)

Saturday 19/4/86

Oh! I’m a bit warm! I’ve got winter PJ’s on. Wore them last night too and had my covers on too but tonight I’m just right. Earned $23.00. Drums & office work and labelling (or de-labelling) At home I did nothing. Wasted 2 hrs or so. Coulda done HW. Last night my dream was really funny. I actually felt as if it was really happening. For example, Jarrad B held my hand and I could feel the roughness and types of feelings I could expect to feel when a guy holds your hand (not that I know) 11:30 now. I expect the others are out of the movies and all at NightHawkes or something. That’d be right. Leave me out. [I hated “missing out” on things. And especially being “left out”. But this has been a somewhat strong ‘theme’ in my life, so I have to wonder if this is one of my ‘life lessons’?] I am TIRED!! “Grease” was on TV. We’re doing it for CHS school musical. I definitely want a part now!! (Not major)

Sunday 20/4/86

Today was another total waste. I did chemistry homework and that was it. I know I should have been doing my english assignment but I couldn’t get myself to do it. Auntie Hil left today [here I am omitting factual information about others’ lives that is not my place to publicise]. I can see now why Jodie didn’t want to be left in Sydney. [And another bit of ‘hearsay’ relative to the event] That’s kind of “fizzed out” my excitement about going to sydney in Xmastime. Anyway… It’s only 8:40. We just watched the most pathetic showing of the Countdown Music & Video Awards. It was sucked. Boring day. Ate a lot. Eyes are sore.!!

Cross Country, Halley’s Comet & Sales Tax (7-13 April)

Published on April 7, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 7/4/86

Very boring, actually. I was glad to be back at school, but tried to stay out of YKW’s way cos I hated my hair. Most people did notice. Some really liked it but by far the majority thought it was just “nice”. [Tell tale sign that they actually didn’t care, Liss!] I told everyone I didn’t like it. And that’s the truth. [I still do this, and I really don’t see it as being self-deprecating. I honestly just tell the truth.] Fiona told me today that ugly “tough” black guy with big lips and nose & crucifix earring likes me. Lynette C told her. I always score the YUKKY ones I wish Mark liked me. Oh, how I wish. I also wish my hair’d grow back fast. No poops at school→ got the pains but withheld and, surprise, surprise, the one I did tonight was about 90% normal! [Surprise, surprise! Oh dear] 9:34. Didn’t do any HW naughty. mima & fi weren’t on the bus → they went with Mr G. Also went different ways after school

[And at the back of the diary in ‘Notes’ section, I’d written:] Yeah man! It’s the 7th – I’m back at school in 2nd term. My first week of this month was shithouse. I was sick and depressed (about mainly my flop of a hairstyle. N’ever mind…..)

Tuesday 8/4/8

Cross Country run. Didn’t even get a place. [Seriously? Reading this I was surprised that I’d even written it. Did I really think it was a remote possibility? I wasn’t a runner, I barely exercised on a regular basis. That is strange …and funny.] Heather, Justine, Mima, Fi, Joannah & Megan & I ran sort of together. Actually we walked most of it. I’ve got aches in my legs now – not like from doing the exercise → like growing pains. At the end Mima, Fiona & Joannah, Melissa [uh, Melissa? Who’s that? I think I meant Megan] ran ahead. But we (J,H [Justine, Heather] & me) beat them cos although we walked, we jumped the fence instead of going all the way round. Did no HW again. Bad, huh? I’ve got to do some Esp. chemistry tomorrow night – exam on Thursday. “mmmm…looks good to me” is my new thing about Mark “mmm” is mark. [Oh really? I’d NEVER have guessed…] Another late night. Yes! 9:45. My watch band broke on the run. Gonna hafta get it fixed proply

Wednesday 9/4/86

Got 43½/50 for my Biology & 8/15 for Chemistry. Worse still, it’s 10:50 and I have barely looked at my chemistry work for my exam tomorrow. I got only 4 more flowers (all the others they were all out of) & a lot of speech homework. And my art isn’t finished. I’m in a real fix. I’ll hafta wake early. My watch is fixed. I forgot to clean my teeth this morning & put deodourant on. Not a good start, huh?! Now my feet; I think I have damaged from the cross country in sandshoes…There’s a big hard lump in the bottom of my left heel. I don’t feel good at all. I got my fringe straight today → blow-dry technique. Geez. I really feel down sometimes

Thursday 10/4/86

I did fail chemistry, I’m sure. I knew almost nothing. Heather & Brent & I (don’t tell anyone) cheated a little – compared answers. I think I’ll have to start a home study timetable or I’ll fail chemistry and maths. Biology and english are basically simple compared to those. [I am definitely a ‘words’ not ‘numbers’ person (which is why I’m amazed that I ever thought of accountancy as a career prospect) and as it turn out, biology has come to figure prominently in my fitness career] It’s 10:20 Another late night. Watched TV, started my journal for art (when I realised I’d left the script [?] at school so I couldn’t do it anyway) then did (or started) what I hope to be my 6-adjective piece. Didn’t get to see Halley’s Comet again. Haven’t seen it yet. That’s appalling. It’ll be out of sight soon too. Trust the weather to be bad when it’s visible. [This was the only opportunity I would have to see Halley’s Comet in my lifetime…unless I reach the age of 90 with perfect vision (and, uh, that’s already an impossibility) Since it returns to our solar system every 75-76 years, it’s not expected again until mid 2061. Bummer, dude.] Ate a lot when I got home from school. Always do. It’s a shame. I eat little except when I get home. I could be losing weight. Wish I didn’t pig out at hm. Mark was away today. (So was Angela M) You don’t think…? Nah. Impossible! (??)

Friday 11/4/86

11:20. How time flies. Only an hour ago, it was 9:00, I could’ve sworn! My throat is slowly killing me (well, not quite) I am worried about what I will do after Yr 12. I’m so insecure. [No idea, which I wasn’t to know, is the same for many…] Geoff advised me to get a job and found a career before dabbling in art, cos’ the competition in that arena these days is so high. But I want also to go where most of my friends go (not “James Cook” Uni – yuk – townsville [JCU was a new tertiary education institution then and was founded in Townsville, Cairns’ rival city] I hate thinking about it. I’m terrified. I might be getting a cold I think Hope not. Bludge in double english – Mr Grossetti was away. Did bio assignment & decorated my diary. Wondering if Mark really does like me or if it’s his way of flirting. Hope he does He was away again. And I’ve had a sore throat all day – it’s been a bad day

Saturday 12/4/86

$28.20. (I let dad keep the 20c!!) I did $12.20 worth of drums – big and little. And 4½hrs work (sales tax.) It could have been 7½hrs, but my foolishness cut it back. You see, when I started at 11:30, I went the wrong way doing the tax so I’d just repeated what was already done. This was at 2:45, I realised. Dad said he wasn’t going to pay for my mistake [hard task-master], so I started again – correctly this time and worked till 7pm. My itches also became worse today (ever since Wed, I’ve been getting really itchy all over, but only for a short time in the mornings) Today I came up in lumps And was totally red from scratching. Now I have blood blisters from it. Yuk [I get itches these days too but it’s definitely not the same as this. ‘Neural Dermatitis’ doesn’t produce lumps, rashes or any other kind of skin affliction.] 11:00 LATE AGAIN. Wonder if Mark is at Anne Maries Birthday party. Wonder… I like him. [You don’t say?]

Sunday 13/4/86

AUNTIE HILARY’S HERE!! She came at 11:30. I did my art today. Wanted to get english, bio & maths done too but didn’t have time. I read over some of my diary (the parts that I was at school) [True procrastination – no time to do all my homework but time enough to read my diary…] Esp. about Mark. Gee, I was so confused then (not saying I’m not now) One day I’d be sure (?) he liked me, the next he wasn’t interested. Its all the same, tho, huh? Always like that. Jodie gave us a present – a cute exercise book & pen. Cold is just nasal now i.e.: no sore throat just blocked & runny nose. Nose is sore. Is 8:56 Early-ish nite for once. School is tops except for the work. (!!!)

Diarrhoea, Dire Straits & Deprecation (31 March-6 April)

Published on March 31, 2014 by Elissa Coxen2 Comments

Monday 31/3/86

Gee, the days are goin’ slow. I’ve been “farting” all day and they’ve been of the most foul scent!! [… if this description is too much for you, quit reading this post now. You are about to be very well acquainted with the “Coxen Bowel Fetish” as my father refers to it…] I just watched TV (& tried to cut-down my eating→ not too successful) It’s 10:25 Gettin’ my hair permed tomorrow I think. (I have no booking yet) Actually I’m tired. And I can’t think of much to say. (A change, huh?!! Did I tell you on GOOD FRIDAY, Lucy rang me?? Yeah! It was great talking to her → she thinks she’ll be up in June holidays (can’t wait!) Think I’ll throw in the towel concerning my trip to Japan. I’ll never raise the required amount ($2200) And I want to go to Dire Straits concert (& buy clothes too → I haven’t done that for ages!!!!!!) Gee I’m tired And bored And getting VERY fat. UMAH.

Tuesday 1/4/86

Today was generally a BAD day. I went to work (did drums for 2 hours & got only $8.50) earned my piddly amount then left it there. Got shitty cos I felt “picked on” in the office by Jenny, Mum & Julia. At nana’s I had lunch, then got my hair permed → another mishap… Well, it’s not the perm, it’s just that Annette cut off too much of my hair (remember it was long on one side → short on the other [see pic on the left, it was inserted here in the original text] like that. She cut off my long side, to make them even.) I spent a fair while trying to straighten out the perm (as well as crying) then when Julia came back from work, Dad had a great pick on me I decided I wanted to die when he left cos everybody hates me. All He does is pick on me [I can imagine teen hormones would have played their part in this emotional reaction but I was sensitive to criticism as well. I think I have managed to retrain my reactions now…] It’s 8:30→ I took a Mersyndol tablet for my head ache (getting lots lately). Made me drowsy now

Wednesday 2/4/86

I’ve had another bad day. I am sick (I don’t mean mad, I mean ill) I was awake almost all last night with headache & nausea. Vomitted only once. Didn’t vomit today → just felt tired, weak & depressed. Ate, too & I kept it down (all I had the whole day was 6 vita-wheats & piece of toast all with vegemite, a piece of toast with honey & a green apple.) [Dry toast, grated apple and flat lemonade were the standard fare mum provided when we were sick.] Still don’t feel too good. Mum took us to Nana’s in the morning, then took me home & Julia & her went out to the Smithfield shopping centre. I watched TV. Julia got her Dire Straits ticket. I am so worried about my hair It is so different→ I hate it & I’m paranoid about about going places where people know I could see me. I HATE IT. I am tired. It’s 8:38. Hopefully I’ll get a full night’s sleep tonight.

Thursday 3/4/86

But, guess what?!! I got it straightened today! UNREAL huh?!! (Although I do feel very selfish and guilty about getting a $30 perm one day and another $20 perm only two days later. It was a total waste of $50.) AND I AM NEVER GOING TO DO IT AGAIN so long as I live – I’ve learnt my lesson. Spent today at home. Lotsa Diahorrea today – but it stopped late in the afternoon and I feel healthy & better again now. And I also want to go to Dire Straits now too. I rang Fi about it all but she wasn’t home (Stu didn’t know when she’d be home) so I rang Beka and had a big talk to her. Fiona said she would call me. But I had to & she wasn’t even home. That frustrates me. [Frustration meaning, upset due to feeling ‘forgotten’] 9:44. I feel better. Thats’s all I can say. I wish my hair’d grow just a bit faster tho. My main worry is that people (esp. Mark) aren’t going to like my hair…..

Friday 4/4/86

This has been the worst week of my life. Who needs Friday the 13th?? In a matter of 4 days; Tues, Wed, Thurs & Friday, I have wasted just about $80 and become ill. You see, I rang Fi, she was at Jemima’s. Polly rang me & invited me with them. Mum got me a ticket I felt healthy again (I still was dihorrearing tho’) and I went with them. Got there 5:45. Show started at 8:10 – but I was at Nana’s. You see – I got sick – didn’t think I could take 5hrs of standing up, so Fi walked me round looking for a phone; we had to go out of the show grounds to use one. Mum wasn’t home – Geoff wasn’t & Dad too. So I caught a taxi to Nana’s (and she paid him for it) Mum picked me up when I reached her at 9:15. I wasted time, energy, money & fun by going home before the concert even started. WHAT A JERK. I hate myself. Hate. Hate. I am a JERK 10:30 ← and I didn’t even see Mark. Did see Tina, Vanna & Sally.

Saturday 5/4/86

I slept right through again, last night – i.e.; didn’t wake once till the phone rang at 8:00 this morning & it was Dad asking if I wanted to work. I decided to. $27.70. Spent the whole day there so when I got home, there was nothing to do but watch TV….I think I am better, now. I had only the very least of stomach pains – 5 at the most & my poos (I only did 2) were looking more solid (or normal) My hair is quite wavy at the front. But I don’t mind too much. I hate it when it dries naturally→ then it’s really curly. I’m feeling better, tho. I was supposed to starve myself today to kill the germ but (another good sign) I couldn’t → I had an appetite!! I ate 1 chip, 2 Vita Weats plain, 1 plain crisp bread, 1 lolly, 2 pieces toast, dinner & a cuppa tea! Is 10:45. School soon. Hope Mark doesn’t hate my hair. Stupid, huh?

Sunday 6/4/86

I’m eating normally (I have my appetite back.) The problem is I get random pains and then do a poo which is not “runny” but “loose”. Understand? (Don’t blame you if you don’t) [Not enough information? Hang on, here’s some ‘real-time action’…] Oooh! I’ve got one now; just wait a tick – I’ll go to the loo…. Did nothing anyway. [Oh, what a shame. So sorry to let you all down.] Pains, pains, pains…. I just realised how much school work I didn’t do over the holidays, today. I wanted to do all the rest of my english assignments (or at least, repeat my old reading one) + finish my biology assignment (still haven’t got all the flowers) And I was meant to do Chemistry study for our exam this week. It hasn’t quite yet dawned on me that tomorrow I will be starting school again and won’t be able to sleep in. 10:36. Am worried about my hair. If (YKW) will like it. I’ll hafta borrow Julia’s gel (I’ve none left) But at Dire Straits (while I was there) greg k didn’t notice it was different. Somehow I think Ykw will.

Relationship Counselling, Heartbreak & Hiccups (3-9 March)

Published on March 3, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 3/2/86

He said hello to me today!! I walked Fi to art the auditorium way and said goodbye, starting off down the walkway to my room. He & Mark W were walking up to theirs. As we passed I looked at him – HE SMILED & SAID HELLO and I had to smile & say hi, too (And I felt so happy after that) I’m sure (?) he likes me. Positive – must be (?) Otherwise I’ve been eating & farting a lot and it hasn’t been hot. The nights are even cool (last night had my bedspread right up all night) Beka rang – we talked. She’s fine. Are gonna go to town Fri. night. MUM HAD A CAR CRASH. Yank drove into her ($1500 damage) Carless for at least one week now. [It wouldn’t’ve surprised me if Mum was uninsured: comprehensive car insurance would be another expense she wouldn’t be able to afford on the income she earnt.] SHIT. Yank’s getting charged tho’ – driving on his US License is illegal!! [I’m not entirely sure this was true. It certainly isn’t now, unless there are extenuating circumstances.] Is 9:31 Don’t think Mima’s very happy with me for some reason. (think it might be about Jarrad)

Tuesday 4/2/86

Him? Oh, “He’s” madly in love with Sharon W. [Uh oh] I hate him (but I lie) I’m quite upset (disturbed; not crying or angry) I found out before school, so it “wrecked” my day – made me depressed. And Cameron’s Fi’s property almost well-and-truly so there’s only Mark left and I don’t think he likes me much. But I think he’s such a hunk… Beka rang again, about town & told me she had no way to get to the carnival. I rang Justine (talked) and she said she’d try. Rang mima to see what to wear – she said we could take Beka too. Rang Beka told her she could come. Rang Fi to check if she could take us all home & see what she’d wear. FINE! Rained on my ride home today. Cool!! Got my periods. Poop. Tomorrow’ll be FUN! It’s 9:39. I’m tired. Have giant black circles under my eyes.

Wednesday 5/2/86

Carnival was terrific!! In the sense that it was exciting (the atmosphere) and fantastic but nothing good happened to me. When we went to town after school, (mima got her legs waxed wasn’t as bad as she thought it’d be [in terms of pain, my guess]) we saw Brent & Steven talking to Robert D… about … Sharon. It’s confirmed. He’s nuts about her. It’s not fair. No one (I like) likes me. Actually, today was a pretty “down” day. I’m not feeling too happy lately (a lot to do with boy-business) mostly from school, too. I mean, subject classes etc. And friends. Can’t explain – too tired & don’t have enough space. Riding again tomorrow – whatever the weather. Goody Goody Goody. Hafta It’s 10:51. Done no HW today – funny how you get a lot [of homework] on the days that you’re busy.

Thursday 6/2/86

Periods are a pain in the TIT. So are farts (I just did one) Art excursion was boring. Blech. Packed day today. Mostly with other people’s problems. [Relationship counselling at age 15½….that’s impressive] Cameron & Fiona: Cameron thought Fi was angry with him for not talking to her at the carnival. I said no, she had some problems (big mouth) he wanted to know what (I couldn’t tell him – it was up to Fi) she doesn’t like him enough. Pity, huh?? And mima’s “in love” with Kye (a yr 12 who also likes her) she doesn’t know whether to drop Brent (again) or not and is consequently (thru’ brent’s eyes) acting wierd. While they were at gym, he rang me asking if I knew what was wrong. I hate lying. Also rang Beka – had a long talk – fun. I like Mark. for Biology, we’re swimming tomorrow – practise with snorkels for Tues at Fitzroy. HOT. Fast riding. Nite is 9:36 did no (very little) HW again. Then again, got very little. Runny (-ish) nose

Friday 7/2/86

Didn’t do swimming in Biology – the pool was closed cos’ they’re doing pipework (very) near it. I am tired. It’s 12:21. the movies were not too good. “Summer Rental” was OK, but the other one was pits blood-thristy, made me sick. You see, Beka came home on our bus, got ready at my place & we caught the bus into town (as planned) but we went to see mima and she asked us to come to the movies. I was allowed Beka wasn’t. Her mum came & picked her up (almost) straight away. That’s terrible – she invited me out & ended up going straight home again while I stayed to see a movie. I’m disgusted with myself. [For abandoning my friend] I heard a mention that Sharon doesn’t like Steven very much. Don’t get your hopes up, Liss. He says hello & goodbye a lot more now !!!! Got hiccups in art with Sandy (B) she thinks it was cos we inhaled too many glue fumes! HaHa!

Saturday 8/2/86

Mum woke me at 7:15. I was tired & very cranky. Didn’t want to go to dad’s for the weekend, but she ignored me. I watched TV till dad came. He & I went to work. [I wonder where my sister was?] I cleaned 49 [drums] & did 4½hrs work. ($30.25 total) Got home at 7:00. Big dinner. I am still tired. Haven’t started any HW yet. I want dad to take me home early tomorrow (not too early – I mean, when he’s ready) Kept thinking about Steven B. Tried to see him last night, but didn’t. I’m glad he says hello a lot. I like him. Not “love”. Just fondness – but you never know. God, I’m tired. It’s 10:38. “Star Trek” is on TV tonight. I half watched (watching it) & reading a magazine. Think I’ll knock off soon. Hope I don’t miss out on much this weekend, i.e. I keep feeling mima would’ve invited me out, had I been home. [This was a feeling that pervaded most of my teenage years. It’s the reason that comes to mind when trying to explain why I never cared to spend time at Dad’s. I don’t think I’m a very ‘familial’ person – unlike my sister & mother – and have always viewed my father as such: a kind of socialite, whom I assumed I took after. I hated “missing out” on anything.]

Sunday 9/2/86

Woke around 5:00 first – it was still a bit dark – went to the loo then slept again. Woke 7:30, then 8:30, then 9:15. I slept well, I think! Almost 10 hrs sleep. Today, I did HW, after finally waking up (messing around abit) I started at 12:30 and went right thru till 5:30. Chemistry, Maths & Biology. Went home at 6:00 Mum & Geoff arrived home at 20 past. Chicken sandwich for tea (that’s 8½ pieces of bread today + heaps soda streams) [UGH! Oh my God, that concept is repulsive to me now. I don’t want to imagine the damage that kind of consumption would have done.] It’s 10:22. Movie is “Hanover Street” my favourite…. well not really. I just remembered it from years ago and loved it. am missing it at the moment. my weekend was very dull. Sleepy? Kinda. Wished my weekend was better. Thinking a lot about Steven & strangely Jarrad. [When you’re feeling lonely…desperation can set in…]

Slave Labour, Car Pushing & Thong Theft (20-26 January)

Published on January 20, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 20/1/86

And the rain continues…. it’s nice & co(ol)ld now, too! Mima got back 5:30 this arvy – rang me about 8:00. Thursday is the day I meet with other new CHS students. Mom [I actually wrote ‘mom’? Surely a joke?] woke me this morning to say I had to go to work, Jenny’d had a big fight with Steven & wasn’t going to work anymore (ever – again) That’s childish So Steve’s on holiday & Dad’s the only one at work. I earned $19.25 did 65 drums + (reduced rate of $2 per hour) 1½hrs. [Reduced rate? I wish I could remember what reason my father gave me for halving my usual pay rate, but I have a feeling it related to needing someone there but not wanting to part with too much for it. Ain’t no way any official employee would have to put up with whimsical pay changes like this…] Saw Justine too. She must have gone for a walk (with this guy – a friend) along the wharf & I saw her just as she was walking out the gates. [My dad’s business premises then were in a shed near the wharves on Trinity Inlet, not too far from the CBD. Of course there’s no sign of their existence now.] Anthony got back from Melbourne today. Hafta work tomorrow again. Late – is 10:34

Tuesday 21/1/86

Did very little at work today, 3¼hrs altogether = $6.50. I got my total pay (yesterday’s too) which came to $25.75 (But I forgot 50c). And Julia got $4 + $4 extra – for no reason except that dad said he could “pay her what he wanted”. So it’s easyily defined – she’s the favourite – ooh! [I remember this. Pretty hurtful. And my father considers my mother always ‘molly-coddled’ my sister. Is this not the pot calling the kettle black?] I’m sick of the mozzies. Aussie flogged India won by 100 runs or so!! Rains only (really) at night. Rang Beka – couldn’t come to Rocky IV. Finally got thru to mima – she’s coming. Rang Fi & Mr D said she was at mima’s Tried & it was engaged again. Have to ring Fi in AM. Late nite: 10:45

Wednesday 22/1/86

Rang Fi – she was at mima’s! Rang mima. Invited Fi & agreed to Jay coming. Rocky IV was unreeeeal!! It was …. ohh! We were squirming around in our seats, covering our faces & saying shit, shit, shit, knock him, kill him! [I’ve never been good with suspense …nor gore. And don’t even bother mentioning horror…] Saw Tashy & Beccy & mima said they just sat staring with no expressions. Punces! [Punces?!] Met Anna & Polly after. Mr B took us back to Brewers. All stayed there the night (Polly’s birthday party (kinda)) Walked to our places & got gear. Had beautiful tea & played Trivial Pursuit (ours) till about 12:30 (mima & I won) Mum said I hafta go home early 2morrow cos the washing machine repairmen are coming & Julia doesn’t want to be on her own there.

Thursday 23/1/86

Woke pretty early (7:30) Mum rang – Mr B said I didn’t have to go home at all this morning – great!! Had no brekky (not too bad – I wasn’t very hungry) [It’s good to know we were always breakfast-eaters… I mean, brought up to eat – and therefore miss, when it wasn’t to be had – breakfast.] then around 10:00, everyone (Tanja, Elisia, Lynette & Ngarie) came [I actually already knew Elisia – she had gone to the same primary school as Jemima, Fiona & I]. They’re all nice!! Talked about a camp at the Tinaburra Recreation Hostel. Got a list. & then talked all day. They left around 4:00. We played cards, before leaving to get our gear for the Waterworks. Got there around 6:15. Was fun! Heaps (our gang) about 18!! Went home in a taxi (WO!) [Yes, a taxi ride was a big deal back then. Since we all lived in what was then almost an ‘outer suburb’, taxis weren’t the most cost-effective mode of transport.] Watched the movie. Am bugared. Glad to have my bed again. Am allowed to go to this camp thing. Is 11:30

Friday 24/1/86

9:37pm. I wanted to have an early night. OH well! Woke latish. Guess what? I got my periods – I’m glad, but mad. Glad cos’ before school – mad cos’ the camp’s tomorrow SHIT. Oh well. Rang mima at 10:36. Got to her place at 10:53. Caught Fi at 10:01. Mrs D took us in. At 11:45 we all (present) went to coles. We finished at 1:45. Walked to Fi’s shop (just me, mim, pol & her) ate & caught bus home. I was tired & had [period] pains. Lazed round all arvy. Didn’t do any housework – lazy dick. Have a shopping list 4 camp. For tomorrow Gotta pack, too. Leaving at 12:00

Saturday 25/1/86

Woke around 8:00. Packing seemed to take Years. Went and got the shopping list complete. At 12:00, Mima said (rang) and asked me to go up there. We got to mim’s – they weren’t home. Went to Fi’s. mum left & we walked to mima’s. When Tanja came we left. But we got to Reservoir Road and the car conked at stoplights. We had to push!! EMBARRASSING. Went in back of Idstein’s Ute. [Yeah, those were the the days! Riding in the back of trucks – without restraints – wasn’t yet highly illegal. If it was, it wasn’t strictly enforced.] Uncomfy with 2 dogs. But finally, at 4:30, got to Brewer’s block. Took combie van to Tinaroo – Fun!! Unpacked – messed around. Had a big long tiring swim across dam & back. Late night (pretty good tea) very late, probably 2:00. Had period trouble – quite heavy.

Sunday 26/1/86

Light flow last night thank god. But got caught almost today. Went canoing. Woke around 7:30. Pancakes 4 brekky (we cooked) Then we took the canoes & went out till about 2:00 in the afternoon. Was great But Elisia was so fussy. We ended up doing what we wanted (i.e.. 5 canoes tied to a tree in the middle of the dam 4 lunch & elisia’s on the other bank starving.) Then More fun around 4:00 when went to dam wall & all chased (not all) by the gardener. Took Elisia’s thong – she went hyper-active [‘ballistic’ would be a more meaningful word to describe her reaction, nowadays. Or “off her nut”] – did everything to get it back, but Tanja, Mima, Fi, & I stayed out. Earlier night – no ghost stories etc – straight to sleep after an exciting walk at 10:30. About 12:30

Nasality, Quadraplegia & Hiding from Cars (9-15 December)

Published on December 9, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 9/12/85

Earned a further $25 today. Still want more. [Aha, first hint of an earning addiction. Working to earn, to accrue – whether to spend or save – can become a compulsion. While the discipline is admirable, on the whole it’s not great for your mental/emotional health.] Have to work to earn money for Wednesday, too; Beka, Justine, Lucy, me & Sharon D are gonna go to the movies & mum said I have to use my own money, so.. IS BOILING HOT!! Guess what we’re gonna see?!!! For my 3RD TIME – Back to the Future!! OMIGOD I don’t believe this heat! Mum bought some more new Xmas decorations. Adam G & Steven S rode by. (See, Friday arvy, when Beek & I were getting ready for the party, Adam talked to us – Beka reckons he was chatting us up. Anyway I think she might be right cos’ he & Steven were ‘hanging’ round this arvy.) Anyway, am having a (pretty) early night for once (is 9:45 now) So goodnight!!!

Tuesday 10/12/85

One of the most iconic Australian women’s clothing brands of the 80s

I am afraid – afraid to speak, that is. Everyone at work tells me how nasally I am getting. [Unfortunately little has changed, although I am surprised how few people have mentioned it in these later years of my life. “You have a distinctive voice” was the most recent – and very tactful – description of my voice.] I really want to have my adneoids out. I feel it would help a lot in preventing my allergies (getting totally rid of them) & much of my mucus problem, blood noses & of course (& most importantly) my nasality (& sinus). [Dr Elissa] Today I went to work again (for the money, and the sake). Earned $24. My total is now $132. Went to Kmart this arvy – forgot to take my money. DUMB, huh?!! (No comments, please!) New part looks good – there’s Cherry Lane & some other jewellery shops & ‘sunnies’ shops. Dear me, thinking about it, I think I do go to work not only for the money, but for something to do during the day. (Mum’s usually not home…) [My sister was in Grade 8 and they didn’t finish up for the year until a fortnight after us Year 10’s. And with Mum needing to work obviously I would have been very much alone at home. Everyone needs ‘Purpose’.] Dad’s running out of cash. I’m not allowed in there for some time. Oh dear!!.. Movies (again) tomorrow

Wednesday 11/12/85

Was ready to go to town early, so went to Lucy’s. Got mum a purse & dad’s running shorts. The movie was good (I’ve seen it 3 times, now) Beka loved it and the supporting film. Warren D & Wayne C saw us at interval. Came & sat near – BLECH! Caught 4:00 Bus to Lucy’s (Sharon D went home) Played board games (Anna & Colleen dropped in.) Beka & I are staying the night. Mucked around – went for a walk around the streets & I (of course, with my Luck it was me) got ‘sprung’. See, we played that we hid from cars when they came. I hid behind a car & Luc & Beek jumped into a bush. Stupid guy fairly blew me up. Fuckwit. Latenite. Read books

Thursday 12/12/85

Woke what musta been quite late, cos Beka got in BIG trouble with her mum. Apparently Mrs H came around to pick her up from work; knocked on the door & no one answered, so she went home & rang up later. For me & Luc, it was a very lazy day. We just read books. Ate very little until [at this ‘juncture’ a long arrow wound through and around my text, pointing finally to the ‘Cake Day’ sticker, next to which I wrote “Well, I mean I ate a LOT of cake, today!!”] (I got home) Watched a bit of TV & I went home at 5:00 Nana was here. Anyway, is almost 11:30, now. I finished my book about 20 mins ago. Gotta give it back to Lucy before she goes (she’s going on Monday) AM SOOO TIRED. I also have an ‘infected’ eye. Is all puffed up and sore. Mum thinks it’s a bite…

Friday 13/12/85

Lazed round this morning till 11:45 when got ready & went to the Dr.’s! At the clinic I saw J. C-S’s health card & I thought she must have been in there, but up pulled an ambulance & Jodie was in it. Julia said she was on the mini-trampoline in PES – she has a suspected fractured neck. There goes her sporty achievements. He (the dr) didn’t move her out of the vehicle for if he had examined her, & touched/moved the wrong things she could become quadriplegic. My swollen eye was just another side effect of my allergies. Dr H said I must continually use my Beconase – not just for the allergy attacks. It’s like “taking the pill once you’re pregnant.” So I’m on a trial run for 3 weeks. If there is no improvement in my sinus, nasality, allergies or mucus congestion then he will refer me to an Ear, Nose & Throat specialistic who might consider removing my adenoids. The Bluelight was boring in action – but the people were “good”. John Cl- & John Co-, & SEAN! He’s still a spunk. Also, after (on the way home) had to squish in Justine’s car with Jason P, Mark, Martin P & another guy. Funnily enough – I felt nothing towards Mark as I had for Sean. ←I was sure he likes me. STILL A SPUNK.

Saturday 14/12/85

I’m boiling.Today I concentrated on (& got) mima’s letter written. Was quite boring….About Green Is, tomorrow, dunno much. I’m taking Beka & Justine in. Dunno anything else. Will have to ring Justine in the morning. Jeezus – IS HOT. Watching Countdown this arvy (& Wham!’s new unreeeal clip) Andrew Ridgeley (with his new short crop cut) reminded me so much of Sean…. I think I’ve taken a liking to him again…… Watched the movie – is now11:00. Nite!

Sunday 15/12/85

PHEWEE!! I’m burnt again! Except a bit more – I didn’t wear a shirt cos’ the only other person to come besides Justine, me, Lucy & Beek, was S. Poor Shane! on his own – but I don’t think he minded that much. Boy is it hot! We got there 11:30. We swam sunbaked for about 1/3hr then got lunch at about 1:30-2:00 Spent the rest of the arvy (till 3:45) in the water. Bet I’ll peel again, too. Went back to Justine’s (instead of home) to have a swim. Lucy & I walked home around 6:45, Got home around 7:10 – dusk. Big dinner (the Bests were here) I am HOT!! & very tired – “exhausted” Pity no one else came. OH well!! Late nite.