art – Page 4 – A Life in Words

Window Painting, Bike Theft & the Death of Green Island (6-12 October)

Published on October 6, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 6/10/86

Am so tired. Boring first day. Heard from Judy how mark was with numerous girls over the holidays. I hope someone he loves hurts him really badly one day – he’ll deserve it all. I’d laugh in his face. [Nice little vindictive streak evident there!] Anyway, Mr Grossetti did say something about my english; I didn’t get that double assignment done either – My report for english was terrible. In art, we found out Monique, Sandie, Donna & I were doing Singapore Charlie [a local retail store full of cheap imported Asian goods]. When we walked uptown to see the manageress what she wanted had nothing to do with Fun in the Sun. . . she’s after cheap window advertising. Boring for us. And not worth it in pay, either under $10 each. Is 10:50 Riding 2morrow. So tired. Was hot today. Bore! Ate so much. I have a real appetite problem [I’d love to know from where my food obsessions stem…]

Tuesday 7/10/86

I liked today. Kind of. I get the feeling – it appears to me that Mark… well, he’s spending much less time with Nicole – only saying bye in the arvies And that’s it. And, well, he’s in my view a lot, too. No he’s just being a friend elissa. HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU ACCEPT IT. [Classic example of right-brain/left-brain ‘conversation’? Or the Good & Bad Consciences, sitting on each shoulder?!]. Well, I spent 1st period biology downstairs studying cos Mr Short wanted to go over the test with the rest of the class & I found out (when Donna finally came to get me) that they’d done other work and Mr Short had forgotten me. Ha! Then I pigged out little lunch [‘little lunch’ equates to a morning tea recess for those who have never heard of the term before. I’m not sure if it was an ‘era’ thing, or an Aussie thing, but at school we had two breaks and they were known as Little Lunch and Big Lunch… probably carried over from primary school!] – bought 3 vegemite vita-wheats – gave 2 away, so I had 1 v.v.w. + chick. sandw. + coconut (what others didn’t eat) + some choccy from Sandy. Double maths boring – Cameron we found out, broke up with Carrie last Wednesday. Think he’s pretty upset. Was terrible. Had my bio test big lunch: easy. Rest of big lunch mucked around. Went to city library with mim & fi after school. Stayed for ages. After some food, we rode home (I was about ½hr late) Did no HW again. [Uh, what the hell did you do at the library then? Perhaps just browsed through the teen fiction?] SHIT bad habits. Is 8:45.

A life in Words — Vegemite Vitawheats: an Australian institution!

Wednesday 8/10/86

It’s getting harder & harder for me to believe that Mark doesn’t like me. Today we talked. In town, painting our windows (really boring & stupid) he walked past a lot and once asked Monique where Ms Marsland was. She didn’t know so asked me. [That could have been a deliberate move by my ‘bestie’…] I said up at the Booking Office. D’you know where that is? (No) well, just past swagman’s cafe. And he didn’t smile once, but at school, I was waiting for Fi & mim to come out, I went and unlocked Fi’s bike simultaneously as he went to his bike (very close parked to ours) said, “Stealing bikes again?” I said (surprised) “Yep that’s me.” Then I asked him about his window & he asked me about ours!! WOW!! [Wow? Really? Amazeballs, he MUST like you. *rolls eyes*] Then he said goodbye to Nicole & him & Cameron left when Fi & mim were unlocking their bikes [I’m confused; I thought you just said you unlocked Fi’s?], but we passed them at service stn, pumping up their tyres. And these gorgeous Trinity Bay guys rode past. Yum! Jealous of all other windows – rebecca G & everyone else did beautiful coloured windows & we were stuck with plain, cheap advertising & cranky shop assistants. real bitchy. Speech this arvy – alright. 10:10

Thursday 9/10/86

* [←this asterisk was actually a five-pointed star in my diary. Unforunately this was the most similar symbol I could find] I am having an extremely difficult time trying to convince myself that he doesn’t like me…extremely difficult. This morning nothing happened cos everyone was doing Rockmans & we (Donna, Sandie, Monique & me) were doing Cairns Booking Office (& it was revolting. Right from when Donna, Sandie & Moni started it I thought yuk. And it just got worse. [I am such a perfectionist. And hyper-critical!] And also when we were walking to get lunch, we saw the Singapore Charlie ladies wiping off our sign!!! Sandie couldn’t stop laughing and the girl said “Yeah, very Funny isn’t it?” Ms Marsland also cracked at them; didn’t give back the $50. Good on her!! [Good on her, alright. Just desserts for exploitation. You get what you pay for, tight-arses!] Anyway, after lunch people kinda lost interest in their paintings. Mark was talking to me (he wanted to paint a mohawk on my girl & I wouldn’t let him) all arvy!! (well y’know) & then walking back to school he & Trish had a paint fight – a bottle of red-brown paint. He got Ange, Moni, Sandie (Trish) Asti & me last (in the school grounds) skint – cleaner caught him made him clean up. But my new green polo shirt was wrecked. got sopping wet trying to clean up. [Hullo, wet T-shirt entrant!] all over my face & hair too. – is 10:35.

Friday 10/10/86

He (& Keith) weren’t here today. I didn’t really miss him, but, of course, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He mustn’t like me [oh here we go again; another backflip?] – I’m sure he was shitty about the paint – he thought it was my fault cos I didn’t let him paint the hair on my girl [Are you serious? Trying to guess someone else’s thoughts and feelings – making assumptions – is one of the most ‘harmful’ things you can do to YOURSELF. All that Worry for potentially nothing. Oh I wish I knew then what I know now.] – but I’m glad I didn’t – gotta show him I won’t let him do everything. [LOL, yes, you sure showed him. You certainly are no ‘push-over’! Pffffft.] Mr G. wasn’t here so I can hand my 5 english in ~~tomorr~~ monday. Next Fri is final due date. Means I have to do another assignment as well. SHIT. and my six seashells [art assignment] is due Fri and maths, chem & bio, I don’t know what I’m doing – where I’m at! Going to Green Island on Sunday with Sharon. Don’t think Fi wants to. Mima’s going & there’ll be all the others who are staying over saturday night. Ragey!!! I hope there’ll be heapsa spunks. Must forget the dick. Stupidly I told Sharon I still like him on the phone this arvy. What have I done? is 9:35

Saturday 11/10/86

I found chemistry too hard, so moved on to biology – I found that too hard, so, deciding to leave my maths til last, finished my 5th english assignment (Not too bad) Went to Drive In tonight – just me & mum & Geoff. Saw Croc Dundee yet again + some movie called Better off Dead – came late – but still was funny what I saw! Wish I coulda got more work done today. Going to Green tomorrow – won’t have any time for more HW. [Cos entertainment is way more important than an ever-increasing mountain of schoolwork] So much Is due this week. Mucked round with make-up (what’s new) and ate heaps of chocolate biscuits that mum bought. Julia went to work. Am tired; is 11:20. Is rather hot, too – wasn’t at Drive In was windy [some much needed punctuation missing here] on Green Island will go spunk hunting – forget Mark W. Why I bother. . . Got heapsa schoolwork to do. Night Night!!

Sunday 12/10/86

I must admit I thought (hoped) I might see Mark there but no! It was alright – I wouldn’t have missed anything had I not gone. In fact it would’ve been more beneficial to me to stay home – I have heaps of homework, still. [Uh-huh] But it was good. Met Sharon’s friend (the one, the only…) Karen N. She’s really nice Saw Linda, AnneMarie, Alison, Leanne, Judy, Clare, Kai & his friends Dim etc. Got burnt only on face, really ..not bad either. But am browner (I think) Is about 8:50. Want an early night. I keep Thinking I can’t wait for angela’s party – but why? Nothing will happen: that’s for sure. (?) Yes! For SURE. School. Omigod! My work … I’m in trouble in every subject – hell! I’ve gotta pull myself together. SHIT. What’my gonna do? Work harder. Am too tired (& a bit exhausted) to think what to write. Green Island is revolting; it’s dead: Hate it FITZROY RULES!! [I actually believe Tourism has ‘killed’ Green Island – though admittedly it has been well over a decade since I have been there. It boasted the world’s first public Underwater Observatory (opened in 1954) and I remember being truly amazed by the experience when I first visited it as a child in the mid 70’s. But over successive years, there seemed to be less & less (marine flora & fauna) to view from its windows – and even for ever-increasing areas around it, the jetty and even the island, in general. It hasn’t surprised me to discover that the observatory was shut down in 2012 – the reason/s of which I’m honestly not aware. My (albeit uneducated) line of thought is: as if tourist boat fuels were NOT going to make an impact on the ecosystem….]

Dreadlocks, Attention Deficits & A Big Night Out (29 September-5 October)

Published on September 29, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 29/9/86

Did some art research; was rather fruitless, actually. Started a chem prac too. But that was it. I am very guilty – firstly about still not ringing Ms Marsland to find out whose [retailers in the city centre] windows we are decorating [for Fun In the Sun festival] and secondly, that I have not done ½ or even ¼ the amount of work I need to have completed before the end of the holidays. 3rdly – I ate one hell of a lot today – must lose weight. Mark, I think, was in my dream last night and, I think, the night before. I wonder if all his ‘appearances’ in my dreams lately have any relation to real life – I hope so – that its good. [A superstitious hope! I’ve come to believe that dreams are simply your subconscious’ method of processing & sorting the day’s thoughts, feelings & experiences. Simple. No prophetic value.] I really think (I’m hoping that) I’ll have a chance. He did care for me (a lot more than any other girl) once … I know. I think I know.. certain things point to it. [It’s nice to see my thoughts are not perpetually negative…] I watched TV, mucked around, ate, sang, listened to music and… bored, guilty Is 11:05. Nite!!

Tuesday 30/9/86

Today I did 2 chemistry pracs (well, 1½) and updated my school diary [decorating my diaries was an artistic habit I’d developed]. That’s about it. Aside from that I called Monique about Ms Marsland; she said there was no need to worry – Mrs Marsland didn’t even know what we were doing last week; she said (Michelle W told her) that Mrs Marsland wanted us to ring her in the last week anyway. Great. I watched no TV, but listened to music & tied my hair up in scarves. At first I attached 1 to my (tiny) piggy tail, then 2, then 4 then tonight I got big ones & plaited them – really long ‘dreadlocks’ looked excellent. [Hmm, interesting… considering dreadlocks don’t actually appeal to me…] Also mima & Brent came round in Brent’s mum’s car! (Brent driving) Wo! Funny!! I’m staying at Monique’s tomorrow night. (going to the beach with her tomorrow) & we’re going out. Gonna meet [privacy omission] etc at Croc. Rock. Dunno what time. Rage I will. [Yoda you be?!] 9:55. Mum’s birthday tomorrow & I forgot COMPLETELY. What am I going to do? Poor mum; I’m so terrible to her. [I always felt that mum “lived for” me and my sister, so I guess it’s almost ‘natural’ to feel bad about ‘forgetting’ her – she had never forgotten us. In this way, no one ever made me better aware of my selfishness or self-centredness – without doing or saying anything – than she.]

Wednesday 1/10/86

Woken up by Julia at 6:55, But too late mum had made her bed & had brekky. I made a card, [I only realised how much these little things meant to her when I found a bundle of them amongst her things after she passed away a couple of years ago] then packed for Monique’s and the beach. Felt guilty about being away on mum’s birthday. [There it is again – I can hear my thoughts now: “You’re a bad daughter not giving up some time for her when she does so much for you”] She dropped me to monique’s. Caught the beach bus (driver revved us about sitting – couldn’t see us) Had a rather good time – got burnt on shoulders & back – arms too. Not badly. Saw lotsa spunks – one group ‘taken’, another group (Martin G) too old & the other: alright! Alex L & 3 other guys. the one in the yellow singlet mmm! Looked at me!! Caught bus back to Gumtree corner – started walking home but Mrs P got us! Got ready about 8:00 onwards (slowly) Fi said they’d sneak out be there 11:00-11:30 Lucy not allowed at all. We went at 10:45. Martin G said they were coming 12:00-12:30. We saw Travers (not many people I knew AT ALL) Packed tho!! went outside & inside lots. saw Mark & Keith. Barely said anything it’s obvious he doesn’t like me. Finally Fi & jay came. Jay got in – Fi tried 4 times. Couldn’t get in. [Continued on the next page of the diary…]

Thursday 2/10/86

… Fi, AnneMarie, Travers, Leanne, Judy went to Nighthawkes. Said they’d be back 2:30(. Monique didn’t want to go cos she told her mum she would be at Croc. Rock.)[Wow, her mum KNEW we were going ‘Out’?] so Jay her & I went in Smithy’s bar and had couple drinks when we came out Mark & Keith were gone. Waited & waited [for Fiona & Mima]. Decided at 3:15 to catch a cab & ring Anne-Marie’s place. Went there, but AnneMarie & them weren’t there. Left at 4:05 – Fi couldn’t go to AnneM.’s anyway = had to be home by 4 that morning. Got 6hrs sleep. at 10:45 Fi rang wanted to know if we’d like to go to the movies with her. (Monique said) we wouldn’t make it. When asked her how night was she wouldn’t answer- kept changing the subject. I assumed she’d got with Mark…I was so depressed. [Haha, talk about jumping to conclusions! Of ALL things, and ALL people!] But in town at 2:00, met her. She said her mum was there & she couldn’t talk about it. What they did was at 2:40, realised were late & got finally back to Croc Rock at 3:30 10MINS after we’d left. SHIT. Stayed there – then got home 4:45 (umah!) Walked to Coxen Chem. on way saw: Mark & Keith. Hoped didn’t see me. Am trying to give up on him. Got $50 [from dad] for mum (dad wasn’t there tho [so who gave it to me?]) & walked up town saw Jules. said mum cried cos I wasn’t there on her birthday & dad too – didn’t even call her. [Ah, so my thoughts weren’t far from the mark: my Guilt was justified] Really upset so out of town money [that is, my own] bought a red rose. Gave to her with $50. Is 9:55. Assignments tomorrow. Glad to be home. Am really depressed inside. Last 2 days were a total waste. [Really?] Had no fun at Croc Rock at all. Oh Mark. [Oh, Gawd]

Friday 3/10/86

Tried to do my work today. Got more of the same english assignment (I’ve been doing for months) down, but that was it. I watched a little TV, but spent most time trying to finish the assignment. Beka rang & I said I’d ring back cos I didn’t know still, whether to go or not due to my work. In fact, I rang Fi to see if they were going out. No. So I rang back Beka & told her I’d go. [Huh?] After cleaning my room, got ready. Went in around 6:10, walked round. Jay gave us a free gelati to share. (I had had no dinner and no money to buy any) saw TOP GUN again (with summer rental) EXCELLENT. Saw Peter H – was hoping (was I?) that Phillip was there – don’t think so. So that’s all. Found out also that [privacy omission here] aren’t going out saturday night either. So a boring end to the holidays. And I still have not completed the work needed to do. Is 12:30. Better get some sleep.

[The following is a tad confusing, but what basically happened (below) is that I forgot to write my entry on Saturday and just ploughed ahead on Sunday night, without realising that I had missed Saturday altogether and was writing in the ‘wrong space’. Did a quick ‘recap’ for Saturday on Sunday’s page…]

Saturday 4/10/86

School tomorrow. And I have done none of the english I had to do. I am in BIG trouble. BIG BIG trouble. My own foolish, stupid fault. Woke around 8:15. Played monopoly with Beka & Lucy till they both left around 1030-11:30. the the James Hardie 1000 had started and I got interested in that. [Car racing I have NO time for now, and I believe the only reason I got ‘into it’ back then was a product of Sentimentality: reminiscent of the period in my life when Dad was still living with us, before my parents split. He tuned into the race every year, so watching or even just hearing it could trigger a range of thoughts & feelings] And Petra came over. And so I got nothing done. I am watching the movie now. (Wierd – (all that jazz)) should be asleep so I can wake early and finish my assignment. In a way I’m glad to go back to school. The only thing(s) wrong with it are (i) the work and (ii) I have to see Mark every day. I could forget about him (well, more than possible) on holidays cos he’s out of my sight (outa sight, outa mind) Is 10:20. How much longer’s this movie gonna be? Why do I have to go back and see Mark? Why? It’ll wreck my start (start in forgetting him)

Sunday 5/10/86

Hey! I did this yesterday and forgot to do yesterday!

4th Sat: Did nothing all day – ate. Luc came round. She, Beka, me & Jules went to Pancake House for tea (got finished early & walked around town) came home at 10:30. Played Triv. Pursuit → mum & Geoff came home midnight. Got to bed about 1:30

Phonetics, Failing & Films (15-21 September)

Published on September 15, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 15/9/86

Did no HW (then again, all I had was english) But I had heaps of that – my 3 assignments. Mum’s getting cranky (“worried”) about my getting behind in assignment work. Boring day. Lotsa people away on Geography excursion. Found out through Mark F (what I thought I already knew) that Lynette C was with Mark at the dance (like Tricia (I think)) why can’t he fall hopelessly head over heels in love with me? [oh, the blindness!] Did chem prac with (Tanja &) Cameron today. Was funny. He’s nice! [Back in the good books again? Only a few weeks ago he was the biggest snob ever.] During 3rd period art, Sandie & I walked to A block & got food from Monique’s (& everyone else’s) exams. [Home Economics, I assume] Yukky mousse type stuff – yummy cream & strawberries tho & veggies; broccoli, beans & carrots (cold but yummy) then walked up town for our art workshop, during 4th period. Looked in Sportsgirl (& around) for togs – Monique tried on a few pairs…. workshop at 12:30. Got back to school just before 6th period. Whew! Watched video in english. Don’t think Mark’s going out with Nicole anymore

Tuesday 16/9/86

Mima & I restablished ‘relations’ thru phonetics notes to each other today..[Phonetics was a part of our Speech (& Drama) curriculum, dealing with the written (symbols) aspect of linguistics: helpful in mastering pronunciation. The note writing served a dual purpose: practice (study) and secrecy in that no one else would have easily understood the symbols.] lately, she’s had heapsa problems & hasn’t been talking much to me (her & Fi always together) Otherwise, I hurt around Mark: not believing he doesn’t like me. I always think how great it’d be if I could talk to him about love & explain (subtley) how much of a bastard (user) he is – why he should stop it . . ha ha ha – typical Taurus is stubborn; won’t listen to a word I say. [Phew! It’s good to know that I was intrinsically aware that lecturing would be a waste of time. It’s all a fantasy.] periods give me the shits. Didn’t ride. Had a mini test in Biology. I got 29/32!! Great huh?!! Am tired – is 10:25 Plan to spend as much of holidays on the beach (or in the sun) as possible wanna tan & blonder hair!! + I just love the beach!! [Yep, sun-worshipper I was. And I got that from my mum. Luckily I also got her olive skin. The coconut aroma of “Reef deep tanning oil” brings back memories. Nothing like a good old basting!] Schoolwork . . . blech! I’m still so behind in everything – am giving up … losing my will to carry things out.. Lacking initiative & interest in my work. Cos Mark – I wish so much with all my heart that he loved me with all his. [Oh. Dear.]

Wednesday 17/9/86

I’m not going to school tomorrow. I have my speech exam. I am going to fail it. I know just about nothing!! Wow!! But my exam is at 2:00 in the afternoon so I can study all morning. I have to. Mark doesn’t like me. I know this but I still get my hopes up now & then. Nicole this arvy as I was walking up to the bus stop smiled at me. I smiled back – I’ll bet she was being ‘snide’ or something [assumptions, assumptions…]…I smiled being (or more trying to look) friendly. Oh well. I’ll just have to wait till Mr Right comes along. Forgotten (almost completely) about Phillip. That’s not the one. [You didn’t even give it a chance, Elissa!] Oh, why me? Why did I miss my big chance? [Er… I think I missed it too?] I wish I could wind the clock back 2 terms. Everything would be ace. I think. [Uncertainty springing up from some well of ‘Knowledge’ or ‘Awareness’ existing deep, deep within?] Did no HW again. Am so slack its unbelievable. Is 9:00. Fi felt very ill today but stayed at school. Mima told me at speech that she rang Brent & he still loves her!! Now they just have to sort out Steven & Erica. Great huh? Mima’s probs are coming to an end… I’m sure. mine, well y’know . . I’m not elissa without (boy) problems!! [Not 12 months ago you didn’t have ANY boy problems. And THAT was a problem in its own right then. Wow, never satisfied?]

Thursday 18/9/86

Well, there’s no way I’d have passed unless the examiner is an easy marker or I fluked the answers. I may as well study for repeating the exam next April. I wrote out all (what I thought was all) the information I needed to learn – that took me all morning so I practically had to go straight after I’d finished it – no time to study it We left at about 1:20. (mima had come round at about 10:30) after the exam Mrs b picked us up – we went to gordonvale to seigi s’s place. Had to wait in the car. [No one was there yet] Renade came home, we went inside then Mrs S, then Polly & Seigi from their camp. Mrs S & Mrs B talked for ages. Finally we went home. I watched TV all night; didn’t do any english assignment(s) hope Mr G. doesn’t make me come in at lunchtime – I’m wagging it & 6th & 7th going to movies Fun tomorrow! [Last day of 3rd term of school] Hopefully!! Better go to sleep. Is 9:40. I’m still missing somebody.

Friday 19/9/86

I got on the bus & (it was empty) Fi was wearing shorts & shirt. At school mima was free-dressed too – so were a few other people – I felt really silly & didn’t think I’d get into the movies dressed as I was so Mima said I could ring polly & tell her to bring some shorts or something (cos she was coming late [to school] about (9:00) I went to art (skipped bio & double english) & Monique did too (so did lots of others) we finished our banners. . . Mrs p came and took her (& my) school bag & monique got a change of clothes. (I put on mima’s denim shorts which Polly dropped to mima who dropped them into me) then Monique & I walked uptown. Met the others in Mellick Centre. Saw TOP GUN at the movies. Is EXCELLENT. Tom Cruise the biggest hunk. After walked around. Went to duty free shop & drooled over the cheap items. Swatches only $34!!! [I can’t recall how much they actually cost in the retail stores back then but judging by the number of exclamation marks my guess is a fair bit more than $34] Mrs B dropped me home. . . Is 11:00 I need a new watch – Julia’s doesn’t keep time – gets too slow. Mark wasn’t at school & neither was Nicole. I’m fighting a losing battle. [What’s the war?]

Saturday 20/9/86

I did nothing – dad didn’t go to work cause he was moving into his new house. So I did nothing all day. Cherie rode over. I did some art-work – cleaned out my folios & some desk drawers. Watched some TV & listened to some music. Finally I packed to go to monique’s. Fi & mim had just gotten there when I did. We walked down & got 4 videos – 2 horror (yuk) & St Elmo’s Fire & European Vacation. We didn’t go out dammit. And Rebecca G didn’t come. We ate so much junk it’s not funny. Watched the videos & had swims in between them sometimes. Was hot. Got to sleep about 2:30. I think. Ate so much junk – hope I can shit it all out – don’t wanna get fat. [Hahaha, I remember thinking that a few times in my youth! That’s priceless: the supposition – hope! – that some things eaten might pass undetected through your digestive (and other) system(s). Ha!]

Sunday 21/9/86

Woke around 9:00. Had a swim. Finally (Mr & Mrs P cooked breakfast for us) we had brekky bacon & eggs. We spent the whole day by the pool. Tanning, dipping (to cool off) & of course, eating. Mr & Mrs P are so nice: they made us brekky & lunch & fussed about! (we listened to Beatles records meanwhile!!) [That’s right, I’d forgotten that Monique loved that era – the sixties.] Amanda M [a neighbour of Monique’s who happened to be a family friend of ours] saw me and came to the fence to say a quick hello. Mima got a phone call just after we’d hopped out (around 4:00(??)). Her mum was going to Sydney – her brother Duncan died last night. sad huh? So she went home soon. Then Fi & I went with mum. We’re going to town tomorrow. Fi, moni & I and we’ll meet mima at KAFFA – she’s working a full day there – cos’ Polly’s in Germany. Am so burnt – all got a little burnt – but I’m the reddest. I’ll have an early night tonight I think!! about 8:30.

A ‘Bizarre Love Triangle’ at the Fete (8-14 September)

Published on September 8, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 8/9/86

Well quite a few people (I think; Donna, Sandie, Monique, Mima, Fiona, Sharon, Tania, Heather, Linda, Tanja, Judy & Rebecca G – that’s all I think) know about Phillip C liking me. And of those who know/have seen him, all reckon he’s cute – some say gorgeous – best bod! Lifesaver! Swimmer! Wow. But mima told me that Melinda B reckons Peter H was at Phillip’s place on Sunday; meaning he rang from there. SHAME!! But I still love Mark. But he obviously (??) likes Nicole… Cameron & Judy rubbed it in today. Cameron in chemistry said “Did you go with the others to the Playpen?” “No” went to the movies” – “Oh, we went to Nicoles.” Fine, Cameron – that’s just great. What’m I s’posed to say? Then Judy at the busstop reckons “Have you seen Nicole’s love bite? Can’t miss it – big purple mark all over her neck and shoulder.” Double fine, huh? You bastard Mark. You’ve got to love me. Please. I want you more than anything. [Ugh, desperation! With hindsight I have to say this whole infatuation experience was a HUGE ‘life lesson’ I did finally learn from.] I’m tired. Bin studying for maths Ha! Got chem mark back 11½/15 – I passed by lots!! Wow!! Bludge day.

Tuesday 9/9/86

I won’t get to see what Phillip looks like until tomorrow; CAD (& selected Yr 11 & 12 art students – including Mark) are going walking around town during recreation time looking for people to do their windows for Fun In the Sun. Monique Sandie, me & Donna got the best block; Boland Centre, Rockmans, cominos arcade. Wo! Rage! (But I really wanted to go swimming so I could perve on Master C. Oh well! I still like Mark, but I don’t feel as depressed as before (I guess this matter with Phil has boosted my self-confidence somewhat) I’m watching a mini-series (Part 1) at the moment; it’s 9:55. Will probably get to bed around 11:30. Didn’t ride today. Maths exam I failed that’s all I have to say – I’m glad I learnt my content – that might’ve helped. HOPE Dunno if I’m riding tomorrow or not. Want to sleep in. Fun tomorrow I hope. Started doing some speech HW – unbelievable! Exam next Thurs.

Wednesday 10/9/86

Mima & I rode today (Adam, too) Didn’t get any test results back (i.e. Maths or English) At big lunch, Donna & I rode to City Place. We walked down to metropolitan building society so she could get money out then to Monique & Sandie (& Ms Marsland) for instructions about getting “clients”. All four of us had the best block to cover; the Boland centre one. It took longer than most others. Lots weren’t interested in us painting/decorating their windows – but there were still fair few who would “get back to us”. [Ha!] After, rode back to school, picked up my bag & waited for mima. I left & rode home on my own at 3:05 – quite impatient, then after speech when we were talking she said she got to school at 3:20 – lucky I didn’t wait – long time! But at speech asked Megan if she knew P.C. – she said “Yeah” I said what do you think of him? She said “pretty cute” & that one of her friends was flipped over him. That makes me feel really great. Someone who lotsa girls like & he likes me!! 10:40.

Thursday 11/9/86

Rode again. Got my haircut, too – (“much”) shorter on the left side. It feels much better. Rode really slowly esp. on the way home: stopped & pigged out, let the buses pass us. (Forgot about Saints) [Phillip was a ‘Saints’ boy, so I suppose I thought he might be on that bus and I could have caught a glimpse… had I not forgotten] Got maths & english marks back I PASSED MATHS!! I had thought without a doubt that I’d have failed but I passed!! 17½/30!! Great! [Great? It’s funny how my attitude towards schoolwork changed when I moved to Cairns High. At my primary school and during my junior High years at Smithfield, barely passing would have crushed me.] And english I thought I failed – but I did better than last semester! 8/10!! Wo! Great day! I think I’m gonna hafta forget Mark I only wish what I see & believe to be was true. I wish. But I’m also extremely curious to see Phillip C too. Fete tomorrow! That will decide!! I think. And Mark will be there too. He doesn’t talk or even look at me anymore. Probably hates my guts. Why, though? Bastard. I love him so much tho [Haha, these mental processes smack of schizophrenia!] 9:55. get some sleep late nite tomorrow. Did no HW again. Terrible bloody habit.

Friday 12/9/86

I’m dead. And kinda depressed. It’s just after 12:00. I saw Phil; Peter came up and was talking. How embarrassing – what could I say or do? I felt sick. [Nerves] (He (Phil) was cute/gorgeous, but it’s made no impact on me. I’m still hopelessly devoted to Mark, who I’m sure doesn’t like me) [I know this reaction is based in Fear: “better the Devil you know” is an extremely apt expression in this case] Oh, I even danced with him (& Fiona & Keith & Justine) but that was it. A pity. I do like him so much. I wore my new blue shirt which I got at lunchtime today (walked to town with Sandie and Monique) & blue & white striped skirt (found out they were the perfect match (in colour) UNBELIEVABLE!!) No HW except english & speech this weekend and I intend to get them done speech exam next Thursday. SHIT. Fete itself was boring – dance was OK. Tired. I feel terrible. I ignored Phil all night & moped around after Mark. Why am I such a loser? [No comment!]

Saturday 13/9/86

Did nothing constructive, except get my periods, today. [LOL and that’s constructive HOW? If anything menstruation is about DEconstruction] I am ashamed [because I didn’t do→]: I have 3 english assignments due this friday a speech theory exam this Thursday, a biology exam this Tuesday and a trial-run speech exam tomorrow. And the best thing I did today was to read up all about star signs.. [best?] otherwise I watched TV or read…. Was extremely depressed this morning, thinking about last night. Y’know how we were all dancing together ..well I think – I’m sure I dreamt that Mark said “Remember this?” to me as True Colours was played. Yes it must have been a dream cos they didn’t play that …or did they? Anyway, I can’t even remember what Phil looks like now, except his blue eyes (gorgeous) Rang Fi tonight – talking about Mark & etc. I think I’ll have to be content with being his friend & working my way up (???) from there. Just watched a movie. Is 11:45. Had a terribly dull day – it was gorgeous weather. Wonder if Mark’s at Lenora’s party??

Sunday 14/9/86

11:06. I just watched Superman III on TV. At speech this morning, Megan, mima & I talked (& laughed) a fair bit so our exams took a bit longer than 2hrs – probably about 2½ or 3. Anyway, I ended up doing it out of my notes.. I didn’t know a thing. (I rode up) at home I watched a little TV, did assignment work, listened to music & read. Petra (& Amanda for a while) came up. I like it when Petra’s here. We talk (I told them all about the night I was with Mark) Brings back memories. I long for another kiss (or 10) like those he gave me that night. Yum!! (Not really romantic tho’) I wonder if I’m a good kisser? Ha Ha god I say some stupid things! [Oh yes. Yes you do.] Anyway another fuitless weekend – only wrote about one paragraph more on one eng. assign. Have 2½ english assignments to do. God help me. Mark won’t be at school tomorrow or Tuesday – Geography excursions.

Two Phone Calls & Chemistry in the Kitchen (1-7 September)

Published on September 1, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 1/9/86

Bad, Bad, Bad, Sad day. People were kinda thrilled about that night etc, kept saying things. [I’m assuming they were happy for me to have hooked up with the guy they all knew I’d been infatuated with for so long.] But my art…and my maths & english and …Mark….. I said “Hi” (he came early to school & mim & Fi & Judy weren’t on the bus) he just looked at me. At art, Fi & I saw them just walk into their room; Steven came out & talked. Mark didn’t. At big lunch he went off with Cameron, when he came back, I went. I was so confused – on the bus, I decided I’d ring Cameron. Yes, I did do it. Results: negative. E: I just want to ask you something about M… Does he still like me? C: Yeah, but he likes Nicole too. E: Oh, I see C: I thought it was pretty terrible what he did E: To me? C: Yeah. He was pretty drunk THAT EXPLAINS IT. WHY HE WAS SO HOSTILE AT FI’S … WHY HE DIDN”T TALK. [Oh is that all you were concerned about?] He doesn’t like me. I’m … SO SAD. But I am not crying… yet

Tuesday 2/9/86

It’s cold. I’m sad. I still cannot accept the fact that he does not like me as he ‘used to’. It’s not fair. I keep hoping; there is hope deep, deep down, but I’m hurting myself more: I’m disappointing myself. He talked to me today; Just a little in Biology… but I’m sure he likes Nicole. Maybe if I just get to be a good friend… what’s the use? Oh, it’s not fair. I like him so much. (Academically it was a good day) – (41/45 for bio test – what we talked briefly about – and 8/10 for my art folio – Both BIG surprises) Oh why…why couldn’t this have happened ages ago when he didn’t know Nicole. Damn it. If we were friends; if we could talk . . . I wish I could click my fingers & he would be flipped over me. [Happy endings aren’t a given in Life, and Magic? Well…keep dreamin’.] Didn’t ride – raining/cold. Speech – had a practise exam then walked to shop with Fi & mim. Ate. (Had no dinner. Have decided to diet) [typical female response to rejection?] 8:35.

Wednesday 3/9/86

I still cannot believe it. But he does like her, at least is ‘deeply’ infatuated; I said to Cameron after chem. today: “Did you tell Mark about the phone call?” C: Yeah Me: What’d he say? C: He didn’t think you liked him that much E: He must be thick, tell him he doesn’t have to pretend to like me or anything like with Trish.. [my assumption] C: He’s on a bit of a high – got a note from Nicole E: What’d it say? C: Just [that he’s] the most beautiful thing on earth etc. E: Oh. (He starts to walk off…) E: Cameron, I still want to be friends, even though I feel differently. And THAT was IT. Judy seems to think he likes me, but is “fascinated” by Nicole: she’s different; younger etc. She’s really nice. Judy, that is. She wants him to wake up cos I’m one of the nicest people… [Oh, sweet Judy. I’d forgotten that I’d had this much interaction with her…] Late for speech… I forgot. We rode today. Overcast. Mark was at swimming. God I wish everything was back to normal… 10:35. Watched the Movie. Oh woe is me. It’s not fair … the one guy – I s’pose not – there will be others. . . . . [this statement is almost uncanny… read on!]

Thursday 4/9/86

I’ve still got Jemima’s swatch. [?] And I’m still depressed. But this afternoon I was more so than ever before. I had english exam (fail- it was so bloody hard) little lunch in 4th & cos of my chem. exam in big lunch, my big lunch in 5th period. And then Biology (I failed chem, too) I didn’t do HW so I’ve got detention tomorrow [for someone who NEVER had detention, I can see how this would have tipped me further into a depressive state]. And that’s just built up, a long with my depression over Mark. I was so withdrawn this afternoon; I even thought Mark was taking more notice of me. Don’t get your hopes up Liss. I could not believe how quiet I was. Talking as little as possible to anyone. Thinking/day dreaming all the time. I am changing. I am not me at the moment. I am sad and pity myself. I enjoy being alone, like this→ usually I enjoy the attention it attracts [the “what’s wrong?”s and “you can talk to me”s], but not anymore. [Smacks more of real depression…] This time, I really want to be left to myself. I am in deep. [LOL Drama Queen] 9:45

Friday 5/9/86

I feel fine when I’m not thinking about it, when he’s not in sight; but (like writing this) I get depressed thinking about it. [I obviously hadn’t yet learnt about the Power of Thought] certain things he does make me think (hope) that he does like me. But I must be pessimistic or I will be hurt more. Let off biology detention [phew]… went to art excursion, came back at beginning of lunch hour. . . other schools came & we sat thru 1½hrs (6th & 7th periods) of “chemistry in the kitchen”. Boring. Tania C & I laughed & mucked around. Got cheerier this arvy. Slow week, this was. Great! Must have fun this saturday – forget everything but first of all – HW & assignments. Must get ’em done. Also feel I want to clean out my desk. . . won’t have time, I bet. Probably won’t even get my eng. done this weekend either [almost being honest with yourself there, Liss!] OH well. Almost 9:30. Sleep & do HW then (??) At least I don’t see them together much, anymore (tho I know they are) That’s great. [Yes: out of sight out of mind]

Saturday 6/9/86

I ate heaps. I watched TV, cleaned out some drawers and listened to music. And I also did not one scrap of HW. Although all I have is maths, english & speech, I have heaps of each (esp. eng & maths) And I have to go to Dad’s for at least a little while in the morning for Father’s Day. Tania came over this arvy . . . we rushed, but Fi & I got to the movies around 7:15; Tania was later. Saw “D.A.R.Y.L.” (what we did get to see) and “About Last Night” great movies. Anyway Mima & Steven & Polly & Anna & Sally & Danae were there too. Fi & I caught a taxi home (I had to pay – Fi had $1 left) Oh well. Now how’s that? Wonder what Mark & Nicole did tonight. No I don’t. I Don’t care. I don’t care. I’m tired. It’s 11:45. I want to get some sleep – don’t want to think about depressing things. Why do fools fall in LOVE?????

Sunday 7/9/86

I am ashamed. I did no HW, whatsoever at all this weekend. That is terrible. Planted & gardened a bit with mum (Julia stayed at dad’s last night) we went to dad’s around 10:00 I think, but before we left – just before we left – the phone rang. Mum said “Its’ for you” I said “Sharon” she said “no, a male”. No, it was not Mark. It was Peter H. Ha Ha. Anyway he said his friend Phillip C thinks I’m cute & has for a long time – saw me at movies last night, at the chemistry lecture & at Trobruk Pool (last wednesday, I deduced it was) And he said “do you want to meet him?” No. let it be. I’ll just wait and see. [I was – and still am – totally averse to set-ups or blind dates. Anything contrived puts me right off. One of the (many) reasons internet dating is not for me.] (At Dad’s watched Weird Science on video & went to see the house he bought – could be nice with doing-up) Rang mima around 2:00, asked her about him. She reckons he’s cute – really tall (brown skin) was sitting with Rodney T at the chem. lecture & I didn’t see him. SHIT. Oh well – prob. is I still love Mark. Watched Romancing the Stone on TV tonite Great! Is almost 11:00. School work is YUK.

Sweaty Armpits, More Photography & the Scary ‘Lost’ Drunk (18-24 August)

Published on August 18, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 18/8/86

Nothing else on my mind. I am really sad. Monique said today that Cameron, Him, Seigi S & Nicole C were walking past her place on Saturday night. (They were going to rock her roof, Cameron told her at rehearsals yesterday) Cameron is the biggest snob. He actually sat next to me today in Chem. but didn’t say much. And Mark . . oh! I could cry thinking about him. Why? I think he dropped Tricia today … they didn’t say goodbye to each other this arvy. I haven’t the courage to look at him. I think he hates me. He can’t. I don’t want him to… there must be more parties [like they are the answer to Everything?] (Angie’s next one . . when will it be? After the musical she said, today.) Fuckin’ sweaty I get in my armpits during the day – Dunno why but it’s bloody embarrassing. 9:13. Did no HW. Can’t get motivated. Oh, Mark…

Tuesday 19/8/86

Guess What? It happened. It was bound to. I got my periods tonight. And I have swimming tomorrow! Oh, why couldn’t they have come just one day later? SHIT. Alright day. Saw a bit more of Mark than I’ve ever seen this (or last) week. And, riding home, mima told me how she was talking to him about Tricia. He reckons they’re not “going out” just “hanging around”. And now they’re “fighting a lot lately, not getting on.” Tricia was stoned in art this arvy. Laughed a bit today, too! In fact, laughed quite a lot. Good tho’, maybe that’s all I can do (seeing as I can’t cry over Mark – tho I’ve tried to [you’ve TRIED to?]) I am really worried. Nicole, I see, is almost everywhere, hanging around near Mark. Also mima told me (cos Sharon was in a real mood today) how she was bitching about Mark liking me. “She would[n’t] leave us alone at Angie’s party – he had his arm around me.” 10:15 late: did some HW!!! Gotta do english especially love art at the moment. Hurry up and finish, musical, so Angie’s party can be on!

Wednesday 20/8/86

I didn’t swim, but I went. It was boring. Saw very little of Mark – all of the kids involved in the musical went after 4th period to get ready for their matinee showing. We’d just had art (Mark & Steven mustn’t have gone cos) we were on our way to biology (Donna & I) and Steven looked at me (cos I was looking at them) so I said “Good Luck!” Mark didn’t look at us, but was sort of smiling, looking ahead. Wowee. I made an attempt. But after swimming, when we rode back to “pick up” mima, I saw Mark at the far end of Croswell Hall (waiting to be picked up, I guess) & Nicole was there talking to him. But he was looking in our direction. I kept looking at him too. Wonder if he knew I was looking at him? Wonder if he was looking at me? Oh well. 9:30. Another late night. NO HW done. Sharon’s a bitch. . . she’s so two-faced. About Mark – I couldn’t believe that…….. Riding again tomorrow wo!!

Thursday 21/8/86

Alright. Looked at mark a fair bit, and he caught me, too. In biology, I kept looking at him, even when he’d glanced at me and after school, walking up to the bus stop with Fi [uh, so you didn’t ride to school after all?], I saw him riding off and he was looking at me and I kept looking at him. I hope he gets the message that I do like him. [Because guys are SO good at picking up on subtleties, Liss. And staring at someone all the time could ‘never’ be considered creepy, could it?!] Cause there’s a party after Grease this saturday & another one after Grease on the last Saturday night. And I want him to know I like him so he’ll talk to me & not avoid me. Cos Nicole will also be there. And she really likes Mark a lot. Monique said she’s ‘after him’. He’s being a flirt. Then, after Grease, there’s Angie’s party: 3 in a row! Let’s hope something develops!!! I want him. In art I heard Trish, Michelle, Astia & Neville talking. Trish was saying how the first 2-3 weeks were beautiful but now; ” Yes she was talking about him. Looks ‘over’ for them. BEWARE OF NICOLE C. She’s everywhere he is. 9:50. Didn’t ride today. Also did no HW! Bad periods – was lucky tho.

Friday 22/8/86

Mark, my dreamboat!!! Nothing really happened – Yes it did! At lunch time, I was sitting with Donna, Sandie, Moni, Chris & David and Cameron & Mark were hanging ’round … Judy came along with the camera. Cameron got hold of it and kept focussing on me; Judy pulled me away a little while later and said “I sprung (heard) Mark say to Cameron when he got the camera, ‘Get a photo of elissa, for me please.'” WO!! The rest of the lunch hour, they were all hanging round. It was great. But then after school, Nicole was around. Petra & Judy told me how she absolutely hangs off him in rehearsals etc and even dresses with him. BITCH. This party this Sat. night is gonna be ace!! There are 2; I’m going to both; mima, fi, megan, me, sharon, Liam & his friend are gonna be real hoods; drivin’ round in cars getting pissed!! [Yeah, great idea. I really hope the assumption was that the drivers were excluded from the intoxication] And Mark… wo! I can’t wait!!! 10:00. Mum’s at the pub with the Fishers. I am excited about tomorrow night. CAN NOT WAIT (for mark!!)

Saturday 23/8/86

Wendy F woke me at 1:30. “Mum’s sick and a bit upset…” She was drunk, totally off her face. they’d bought her home; she was sick. I said goodbye to them locked up & lay with her. Julia came in. And a drunk man appeared at the windows “Who the fuck are you?” [I spoke, Julia is more a ‘paralyzed-with-fear’ type of individual] “I’m lost” “Go away.” [We both remember this incident vividly: the Fear. Being ‘stalked’ (or, witnessing an adult male figure ‘casing’ your home) is terrifying, especially when your ‘protector’ (Mum) is completely unconscious…] Mum said it was probably Terry S – but wendy said this morning he was driven home. [The thing is, he lived in the very near vicinity so could easily have walked back to our house after being dropped off. Despite being ‘blotto’ I can’t see a reason for Mum to randomly name a male neighbour with whom she never appeared to have had anything to do with in the past.] It was really scary. Today I did my HW, and got really hyped up about tonight Finally I started to get ready (I’d made so many phone calls during the day) We went with Fi. IT [the musical] WAS EXCELLENT.

All were bloody fantastic (mark spunky – Julia & Cherie reckon he was looking at me all the time) while dancing. After saw him in dressing room But that was it. He didn’t go to the party. We went to Benji’s, but was boring so we (Megan, Moni, Sharon, Mima, Fi & me) walked to Mik’s at Stratford. It was fucking boring. Sharon & I left at 2:30. Fi & Moni didn’t stay at my place. Mark why didn’t you go? Bugar. Mima told me that on Fri nite she asked M “who do you like?” “Don’t know, Why?” “I’m doing some spying for a friend” “Who?” “elissa” “she doesn’t like me does she?” “I don’t know about that” “Really?” He really thought I didn’t like him after all.

Sunday 24/8/86

Woke at 8:30. Am so tired. Sharon left around 11:00, then mima rode over. We talked and everything and laughed with Cherie, Julia and Petra. Did ‘nothing’. Went to the shop. Bought junk while mum bought hot chips for lunch. PIGGED OUT SEVERELY. Mima left later; She was so tired. We lazed around talking, reading. Then watched TV, dropped Petra & Cherie home. Now it’s 7:10. I’m gonna have my shower & go to bed. Take 40’s on, pity I’ll miss it… too tired. Did not even start one english assignment SHIT. That party was so boring most people left; went home or to Crocodile Rock. Everyone was smoking except me No drink there. Oh Mark, I want you. Mima & Petra telling me how she Nicole flashes all over the place when she’s changing in front of him (they reckon Cameron looks away & Mark gets embarrassed) Mima’s back with Brent. too she told me today he didn’t come cos he had baseball finals today. I’m friggin’ tired. Next week will be excellent. Seeing Mark at school and mima’s & moni’s birthdays & Grease final & the party.

A Failed Exam, a Grease Preview & THE Photo Again (11-17 August)

Published on August 11, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 11/8/86

Today was a better day than I thought it would be. See, Mark was away… but in double chemistry (everyone else, it seems, was too – on the musical camp) Mr Lavers was away so I wrote a 12 page letter to Lucy all about Mark!! Then, thru triple art & little lunch, we watched a video – had to do sketches from it. But BIG LUNCH was the BEST PART!! We went in the dark room and soon Mr Short came. He developed (at my request) 2 photos of Mark & me from the dance!!!! The photography was excellent (not bad of me – excellent of Mark, tho!! Except looks as if he is holding his breath & struggling to keep from smiling) [Apparently he was partway through an exhalation, lips pursed and cheeks inflated…kinda like a puffer fish?! Sorry to disappoint: I felt obliged to edit him out of the photo out of respect for his privacy.] I cannot stop looking at it!! I’m really happy!! So now those who know of it are, Sandie, Moni, Donna, Sharon, Mima fi Polly & Judy & of course, Mr Short (Mark & his friends would, too, but they won’t see it!!!) Went to speech this arvy for final tips on work etc. Is 9:20. Gonna stare at the photo so[me] more. [Now that sounds ‘creepy’…]

Tuesday 12/8/86

My speech exam was… average. Probably a “B”, I think. My reading was good, my poem was good, my talk was stuffed and my news report was fair. We had to wait ages (she was running at least 40 minutes behind!!) Mima came round. We spent the morning typing out our work and practising. After lunch we left, riding on our bikes. Got there and changed in the loos [‘loos’ are toilets/bathrooms for those who aren’t familiar with this Australian slang]. Then worked up our nerves for ages. After, we laughed about it – the conversations we’d had were bloody hilarious!! Rode to sly cones [an ice creamery] (did not pass the school) then into town. Rode home – stopped at the Aeroglen park & laughed & sang. Rode on home slowly. Hot day today – couldn’t believe it!!! It’s 8:45 – earlyish night. Exams are over!! CAN’T WAIT for school tomorrow!! See Mark in the flesh. I am still drooling over the photos!! Julia took one to school [she was still attending Smithfield High at this stage]. Most thought he was O.K. Amanda said YUK. 2 girls she barely knew said yum & about me: is that your sister? God she’s beautiful, so pretty etc Can you believe it? [Perhaps you weren’t as plain as you thought, Liss?]

Wednesday 13/8/86

Ha! I knew something’d go wrong today. It was for the best, though. (I suppose). I did take the photo to show Monique (Mark was away yesterday too; not at baseball; he’s in the play – a dancer (was on the camp) Monique said he’s good, too!) Anyway she said this girl (Joannah C’s cousin) in Yr 9 was flirting with him. That made me depressed. But mima told him about the photo. He badly wanted to see it. I said no..way. Cameron asked Sharon She said no, then he actually said to me. I said no. But before Fi & I left for the Trobuk Pools, I gave it to mime & said don’t let anyone else see it. Boring at the Pools. Wanted to rush back & see Mark (why, god knows) Tonight on the phone, mima said Steven, Brent, Cameron & Megan also saw it. They all said it was a good photo. Mark didn’t say much (about me – not that she told me) but he asked her if I still liked him. Mima said, I’m not going to say anything. He is rather worried or is he? Speech on my own. It’s 10:30

Thursday 14/8/86

I think I’ve stuffed my chances now. I was going to make him ‘grovel’ or at least, worry a bit about whether I liked him or not… I don’t know what’ll happen now. In 6th period, biology, I put across the feeling of disappointment, depression cos I thought he was avoiding me. Anyway at the end, before we all left the room, Chris K was talking about Sandie and I said (a bit too loud I think) “So what’s it like to be in love?” If Mark heard that he probably would’ve assumed I didn’t like him. Tricia, in 7th p. art., was crying too.. what about? I think it was most likely about Mark cos after school, he & her sat on opposite bike racks and at one stage, he walked away to Terry & Raymond etc. I watched him talking. What about? Then he came back. Is it all over between them? I hope Cameron says something to me in Chem tomorrow 10:05. Went late night tonight. Then to see mum’s cousin up from Sydney. His 3 kids are nice the 7 yr old boy isn’t. Failed Chemistry exam & mima is having so much trouble with Brent.

Friday 15/8/86

*Cameron said nothing. In fact, he’s a big snob now, won’t even sit next to me, let alone talk to me. I failed chem 13/30, but the great thing is I only failed by 2 marks! [This is a radically different reaction to that I would have had only a year earlier. Exam failure would have gutted me. At least at this point I have found the positive in a negative!] Mark is avoiding me… I’m sure. Today, we walked to the City Place; Grease was being acted out as a “preview”. was great! (Went in lunchtime) got back ½ way thru’ period 6. No one in art noticed I was late. Fi also told me today how Mark & Tricia kiss goodbye in the “arvies”. I really wanted to see them do it [really? are you a masochist?] but we were held up after by talking etc. By the time we got there, Tricia’s bus was there. AND Mark was talking to Nicole C; yes, the same one who was flirting with him on the camp. BITCH. Anyway, At home I rang Lucy all arvy & got ready. Finally got on to Jane [her sister] said she’d be in on the 8:30 plane. POOP!! Fi came around 6:45→ we walked round town. picked up mima & she changed then we spent all the time at Licks cafe [an ice creamery] in Mellick Centre where Jay works. Didn’t go to pancake house at all. Met Justine & Beka. Stayed there till about 9:30… went walking… finally found Lucy..

Saturday 16/8/86

Last nite, we caught a taxi home. Justine, Fi & I stayed at mima’s. Watched View to a Kill on video. Bed at 1:15 – woke 7:15 this morning. After small brekky, Justine & I walked to my place I changed and mima rode in …we rode together into town – mima to get her hair permed – me to work – (saw Heath. & Marge.) Justine’s dad took her home. Worked 4hrs 15 mins. Mima’s hair looks absolutely terrificly fantastic!! (Giles & Andrew D. were working – I immediately thought of what Mark said on the phone that night “we talked about you at Mackay”) We rode, picked Fi up from the newsagency & went to mima’s (mum wasn’t home) Watched music videos and bombed out – rested. Went home around 5:15. Petra’s staying over. Talking a lot about Mark… mima said he also thought I was taller than him she said “as if she’d crouch down for a photo!” Also, she told me exactly what he said that day (I can’t remember, but it was bad. He really thinks I hate him. I’m so depressed – so depressed that I didn’t go to the party tonight. Betcha he was there. 10:55

Sunday 17/8/86

I did nothing today. It was a BIG waste of time. Watched a little TV, drew and looked at photo albums and, of course, I ate. I had maths, english & speech HW to do, too. SHIT, huh? Oh well; It’s 9:00. I’m listening to Take 40 Australia. Will finish at 10:00. Hopefully I’ll get to sleep quickly Been thinking about Mark a lot too. Am really depressed. Why has all this happened? I’ve lost faith in him. (I can’t trust him) but I still want him badly. I’m also very frightened- frightened that if I went out with him & fell totally head over heels in love with him (like mima is with Brent) that what happened to mima & brent would happen to us, except that mark wouldn’t like me. Asking Petra today, before she left, to keep her eye on him & Nicole C at rehearsals today. She also thinks he’s a fantastic dancer & got a cute bum.

Rec Swimming, Impersonation & Great Grandma’s Fall (28 July-3 August)

Published on July 28, 2014 by Elissa Coxen1 Comment

Monday 28/7/86

My allergies are comin’ again. My nostrils get blocked & run etc. (It’s not a cold cos I always get a sore throat before the blocked nose…etc) It seems, too, that lotsa other people have it as well ie: there are quite a few others who are having ‘troubles’ besides me..!!!! Also, I have decided that mark shall be only my friend. This is his 3rd week with Tricia. Either he doesn’t like me, or the poor guy doesn’t know when to stop. [hilarious] He’s really stuffing up his chance with me… (yes, I am hurt. Very.) But I can learn to cope with it. After all, I still want to be his friend & (I hope) he’ll want to be mine. Bio test tomorrow. Ungh! Also got new maths teacher (forgot his name) but he’s better than Mr Burger (I think) Poor Mark. I don’t know why, but I feel sorry for him! Comm. Games. Ha! Aust coming tie 2nd with no. of gold medals – 15. Eng 17, Canada 17. We’re going downhill now 9:35

Tuesday 29/7/86

Great Grandma is dying. Mum got a phone call tonight. She had a fall (ie: fell over) and her health is decreasing rapidly. Mum doesn’t know whether to tell Nana or not; she will have to, though. Sad, huh? (Poor Julia – really sentimental – crying) [I probably should have used the word ‘sensitive’ because we really didn’t have enough contact with our great grandmother to be ‘sentimental’ about her. Actually, this has surprised me altogether: I thought my great grandmother had passed many years before this.] My blocked sinuses are giving me the shits. And Mark? Well, I’m finding it a bit easier to go without seeing him. (I still like to sometimes, though) And thinking more about him, I wondered how it would ever have worked; him one of the most popular guys in Yr 11, and me. It’s unthinkable. Not to mention, his looks compared to mine (ie: he’s much more attractive than me) [Blaring lack of self worth there, ya think?] Y’know what I mean …. Judy thinks (said this arvy) Tricia really wants Mark, really likes him, but he doesn’t like her much. Haven’t done any HW tonight. Will hafta (esp. maths) do in the morning. Too tired to watch Comm. Games tonite. 9:55

Wednesday 30/7/86

My cold’s shitting me off. [Ok, so it IS a cold now?] Today, mima & Umico (or however you spell it) [Japanese exchange student that Jemima’s family were hosting] went with all the other Japanese billets & their hosts on tour on the Tablelands. They had fun!! Meanwhile: we were bored. Short lessons, & after big lunch (fi, sharon & I went to town to try and get Fi’s keycard) had to choose recreational sport. Sharon, Donna & Sandie did photography. Astia, me & Fi did rec. swimming. Little did I know (until we got there) that so did Jarrod B, Peter P, Nick R, Patrick O’S, Terry C, Tricia & …Mark. SHAME. If I could’ve; I would’ve swapped (but there was nothing else to do, really) SHIT. Oh well. Also when mime came back, she talked to Terry & Nick while waiting for the bus. Nick likes me, wants me to choose between him and P.P. YUK. Just been to Trinity Bay’s school play, ‘Westside Story’ – PATHETIC!! CHS ‘Grease’ flog that!! [Clearly I was fiercely loyal to my school.] Mark wasn’t there thank god. Lotsa others were tho’! Is 11:10 (Really cold!)

Thursday 31/7/86

Lucy’s birthday and I didn’t do anything for it. Umah! Pretty boring day. (Biology exam was fairly hard; I didn’t do too well) Art was good; have gotten started with my banner & I think it’ll work well!!! And at big lunch we sat in our area; Justine, Marge & Heather & Linda sang soft songs. I almost fell asleep. It was beautiful!!! And, well, I seemed to see a bit more of Mark. I think. But if he was in a position where he could see me, I would deliberately move; hope he gets the message. [Um, yeah. Because guys are that ‘aware’ in general. Pffft!] I don’t want to do recreational swimming. It’ll be stupid & boring. [….and painful having to watch the couple be together…] Why aren’t there more people Fi & I know who are doing it?? (who can do it) Oh, woe is me. Getting sick of watching Comm. Games all the time – only watch the highlights now & then. Is about 9:07. having an early-ish night. Will probably have another boring weekend. Woe is me. [I tend to like this little phrase, don’t I?]

Friday 1/8/86

It’s 12:15. Don’t ask me why I’m still awake… I don’t know. I’m watching the Commonwealth Games and time has flown! I rang Justine this arvy (mum couldn’t get me a hair appointment this arvy – Monday will have to do) and around 6:30 (6:45) we picked her up & we went late nite. Town was empty. Looked around – didn’t find much to my liking.. some was but I still had doubts. Nevertheless, I came home with a pair of white stockings & a black kohl pencil. Today was rather boring. Spent all lunch hour in art. My banner is stuffed. Don’t give a shit. About Mark, either. Mr G thinks I could be another Max Gillies if I applied myself. [Max Gillies is an Australian comic actor, celebrated for his ability to impersonate primarily Australian politicians. He was best known for his ABC television programme, ‘The Gillies Report’. One of my most vivid memories was of Mr G.’s expression when I first recited the part of Juno in ‘Juno & the Paycock’ in our class reading of the play. I was secretly chuffed that he tended to give me lead character roles in almost everything we read from thereon in.] He really can’t believe ‘how good I am at accents’ etc. Thinks I could be a great impersonator. Ha. Ha. Boy I am tired. But I’m going to Earlville tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll be successful there ie: find a great shirt for the dance

Saturday 2/8/86

While All I bought last night was the stockings and eyeliner, [today] I spent about $47 . . . two blouses – a white long sleeved shirt (the one from Jack is too see-thru) Love it!! And also a black & white striped long sleeve shirt – a bit small around sleeve length – and sleeve (wrist) buttons tight but great as well!! And also some black mascara (thick; really great!) Back at home, I messed around; Did nothing in particular; a bit of (very little bit of) HW; dancing; listning to music; little TV; watching My Fair Lady on TV now. Am tired. Julia & mum are in bed; just Geoff & me watching TV. With my new shirts, I actually still don’t know what to wear to the dance; the problem this time being that I have so many combinations with my new clothes that I don’t know what to wear!!! [Oh my, too many options!] 10:30 already; at least 1½ hrs of the movie left yet. Oh I’m tired. Sleep in tomorrow. Haircut monday – can’t wait.

Sunday 3/8/86

Another wasted day. I read my book for speech, tho. Only have 3 chapters left. Also tried my english assignment. Got almost on half of a foolscap done, [back in the day, before computers, we wrote our assignments by hand, on paper. A ‘foolscap’ was a standard paper size. I’m fairly sure you can still find foolscap paper & pads at stationery stores] but I wasn’t happy with it so scrapped it. I’m just not in the mood; I have the ideas; too many ideas cos I want to put them all on paper, then it sounds stupid so I have to start again. [Ah, this. THIS is what I still struggle with today. It’s my major block to writing: too many thoughts leading me off-track. It’s a HUGE contributor to Procrastination. Lack of concentrated thought/ideas + perfectionism = a recipe for ‘disaster’ in the ‘achievement’ stakes] So I’ll have to wake early tomorrow & do it. Otherwise I ate. I am bloody ashamed at the amount, too. Hope I’m not going to grow again. Tall enough. Oh well… this’ll be the 4th week Mark’s been with Trish. I’ll have to shut off now, for sure. It’s gonna be bloody hard. Sometimes he smiles like in Bio, someone talking to/ teasing me. He still likes me, at least a bit, that’s for sure. But.. I can’t hold on. I’m so hurt already. what would it be like later?? 8:45

Stuck in the Mud & Love in the Air (9-15 June)

Published on June 9, 2014 by Elissa Coxen1 Comment

Monday 9/6/86

Woke at 7:15 (got 9hrs sleep) did my art, hung out the washing, made my bed, finished my art, cleaned my desk then 11:30 went to see mum. She had just gone into theatre [for the ‘curette’]. Geoff took us home, mucked around with Fiona & Christopher (F) & watched TV. Went to see mum again around 2:45. Boring! [This apparent ‘coldness’ towards my mother’s situation simply borne of a lack of understanding…which most children have. I completely empathise with my niece and nephew for their sometimes ‘naughty’ behaviour during the final weeks of my mum’s life: the poor kids were dragged to hospital EVERY day, so it would have been torturous for them, even though they knew ‘Nana’ was ‘very sick’…] Sat & read magazines etc. Went home, Geoff stayed. About 15 mins later mum rang and Geoff went to get her. Had pies for tea (after mucking around with Chris & Fiona again – playing stuck in the mud etc) [Old ‘Stuck in the Mud’! I’d forgotten about that game. Great physical exercise for kids…but I couldn’t remember the rules of the game, so Googled it for a reminder: Stuck in the Mud ] Is 9:11. I’m surprised at little amount I ate. School tomorrow Hip Hip Hooray! Dad came around to see how he’d set the Hash run (they’re gonna go through our yard & down the gully.) [In the Hash House Harriers, there’s a ‘fox’ who sets the ‘cross-country chase’ each time they run.] Dad & Sharon (when she rang) both asked about mum. I told them she was having an operation on her stomach. Hated lying to dad. [I’m sure he was told/found out in good time anyway and would certainly not have held anything against me for it.]

Tuesday 10/6/86

10:35. I’m not tired. Did no work today (except art.) Got test marks back. BIOLOGY I am so pleased I passed both exams – theory 80/110!! and prac – 50½/80. HOORAY! But, gulp, maths. I failed. 28½/70. My overall % was 47% still SA [‘Sound’ Achievement]. but still not good. I must do a lot more study for maths from now on. Art, I got 24/30, but sposed to add on 4 marks for something so I got 28/30. Got 20/30 for my problem – worst in the class. And 80% overall. Depressing – I could’ve got a VHA [Very High Achievement] if I’d done my problem better. Spent lunch hour in art rushing to finish my mural but alas & alack not quite → she marked it before that. I gave myself 43/50, Dunno what she gave me. But I spent rest of double period tryn’ to finish it. NOT QUITE. Went straight to mima’s this arvy. Made a cake & made masks for the dance→ mines orright not finished. MARK WAS AWAY so was Cameron McK; probly baseball.

Wednesday 11/6/86

Mark was barely there for the day. Saw him in the morning up till art. After that who knows? But he was at the dance…. Got 25½/50 for ENGLISH. I AM ECSTATIC!!! And 19/20 for my assignment!! Unreeeeal! [English turned out to be my best subject overall in senior high, which is kind of funny considering I was doing the special Art Course (CAD). Meant to be better at Art, you’d think…] Chemistry 49½/80 Pass by 9½. Pretty fair overall mark for semester was 59%. Boring day, really. After school, rushed down to Dunphy’s shop, mum got me & went into town (rang Mrs McM & skipped speech) Denim Jackets too small.. got a white small skirt from Sportique. & Mink hairspray [oh yes, the 80’s were definitely a decade of hairspray…in the same-but-different way from the 60’s..]. Rush at home wasn’t ready in time→ mum had to take me instead. OH well. At first didn’t think Mark was coming. But (my imagination of course) later on it appeared when Sharon & I went for a walk, him & greg k were following → probably cos of Sharon, not me. 12:40. Steven hit it off with Erica S (she’s not too sure…) ♥Mark♥

[I had detailed the dance in another notebook:] … Sharon & I went for a walk around the back of Croswell hall, and sat on the stairs around the other (unpopulated) side, to talk. then, Mark and Greg appeared…they’d followed us, we were certain; though I thought it was most likely for Sharon, I didn’t say. Really, I was hoping Mark was following me. When they saw we’d stopped and sat, they sort of hesitated for a moment then coolly walked past and around to the front of the hall. At another moment, they appeared to be watching again, as well. We’d decided to try and get up to request a song, so took the back stairs into the Hall. We hesitated at the top, outside, for some reason… the door was locked? And I glanced down and who should be standing below, looking up?

Thursday 12/6/86

Woe is me. Y’know about last nite→ supposed following by greg & Mark, well today Greg said (in 3rd or 4th period) “I know someone whose got the biggest crush on you.” I instantly thought of Mark. My attitude was kind of “brushed off”. “Yeh, Yeh, Yeh….” He wouldn’t tell me. And it happened – I got my hopes up only to be let down. I pestered him in last period (in Biology, before, I was sure it was mark, he sat in front, but turned round to talk to Greg next to me) and he finally said… “Cameron K”. Shit. I mean I like Cameron a real lot→ my best male friend – but I said “bullshit.” Perhaps Greg was lying. Seemed like Mark was paying abit more attention (i.e. looking at me more!) to me today. Ha! Wish 9:35. Mark you spunk Don’t you like me too? Not really cold winter weather Damn! Quite warm actually

Friday 13/6/86

I felt sick when I left for school this morning. Had a feeling it’d be a bad day. But it wasn’t so much that → more “spectacular”. I felt very uncomfortable around Cameron (Mark came very late & I only saw him for a very little while all day) went to hall watched choral music practise (Mark played volleyball) then went to civic centre (got in free (lucky) fi didn’t) CHS got one 1st & a 2nd. Then back at school Sharon Monique & I watched volleyball (Mark must’ve gone→didn’t see him at all after that) sharon dragged Greg over to the trampolines (I’d told her my “prob.” on way back from Civic Centre) And she squeezed the truth out of him. Took me (& Monique) outside. “MARK HAS LIKED YOU EVER SINCE YOU CAME TO CAIRNS HIGH!!” I AM ELATED! He was too shy to ask me to dance at the dance in case I’d say no & too shy to talk in case I’d ignore him MARK LIKES ME!!!!! Said he couldn’t wait till Angie’s party to talk to me!! LOVE! Rang Beka this arvy too. Went to go to Croc. Dundee. Spent about 2hrs in town but movies were booked out – Julia & Cherie got in tho. also went to Coles but couldn’t see Mark anywhere. Also poor mima got shocked today. At civic centre Brent & Cameron wrote notes to each other mima read one & went hysterical, cried & left school caught town bus home. [I have no idea now what that was all about…]

Saturday 14/6/86

Well this morning I didn’t do much.. Jules & I had a lip sync competition [we loved our music!], then I attempted to wax myself. At first it didn’t work (too much bloody wax) then (I got cranky) it did (but not completely) I also sunbaked when mima rang. Then I packed and went to her place. Watched the end of a really “hacked” [hmmm, don’t recall using that descriptive much, so can only guess at it meaning something like “not good”!] movie (on video) then “mucked around”. Got ready for the movies (Hoped Mark’d go…) Saw Youngblood and it was excellent. After walked to “Sly Cones”, where we waited (well we kinda went for a walk) till the B’s (Mr & Mrs) came.. After an ice cream, Polly, Monique, mima & I went back to Brewers. (Are all – mima monique & I) gonna sleep in one double bed – Ha!!) Laughed a lot before going to sleep/ mima’s made up with Brent (kind of… still unsure) And I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT MARK!!

Sunday 15/6/86

That was the worst night’s sleep I’ve had in ages!! Barely any room at all!! Had to wake early for the door knock appeal – got in there early. First area was Manunda. Not too good. Mooroobool was a bit better but Bayview Heights was the same as Manunda. Went had so many encounters with dogs.. it was unbelievable!! [A great example of how they are great thief deterrents] Also heaps of people who pretended they weren’t home – when the house was open & unlocked etc. [I recall us doing that once or twice with mum but hiding from bible-bashers rather than charity door knockers] But overall, our team (car – Mr B., Polly, anna, fi, jay, brent, me, monique, mima, sharon) raised $450 overall. Not bad but not the best either. Oh well! After, we wanted to get back & have a shower before the BBQ but Mr & Mrs B were gonna stay so we got [a different] Mrs B to drop us back. Got ready & mum & Mrs W dropped us all back in (to a house in Richardson St) near kind of to mark’s street McManus. That was so bloody boring. Went home really early. Mr & Mrs B stopped at Banks’s for coffee so we took the house key and walked back. There (anna polly sharon monique mima & I) listened and mimiced sings on Take 40 Aust. Another late nite!! in the bloody double bed again

Creativity Block & the Loss of a Sibling (2-8 June)

Published on June 2, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 2/6/86

And BIOLOGY? Well…. I don’t think so at all. The Questions were totally alien to me. I attempted all except 5. (parts of Q’s) Ha! Whadda flop. And I wasted this afternoon too. Caught the 12:00 bus & went to Jemima’s where I watched videos. Bludge waste. SHIT I am stupid. [No, just one helluva Procrastinator] And I’ve got my damn maths I [that’s Maths “1”] exam the day after tomorrow. Holy Hell. I am so tired. Will be absolutely ELATED when my exams are over (saw Mark today – 1st time in 3 days) Got a letter from Lucy (again) She must be really excited – I’ve received so many lately!! God I hate exams. 5 to 10 another late night. I’m gonna flop. OH SHIT. Caught the town bus in later this morning. Wonder if the others are gonna do it again tomorrow?? My art hasn’t been done yet either & I won’t get it done either Poop Damn Shit. I’m all fucked up.

Tuesday 3/6/86

English was fairly good, as was art but my biology prac. exam … Ha Ha Ha What a laugh (actually it’s not really) I am so stupid. I must have no brains. This will teach me. [Really? You really think so?] Next time I will (must) be prepared. Did a bit of maths tonight but I had to stop – I can’t believe how dumb I am. I can barely do any of it. [Comprehension issues. Can’t recall whether we were into Trigonometry at this stage or not. I didn’t mind Algebra so much but Trig …nuh. Never got it.] Stuffed. Boy will I be glad when tomorrow is over with. But then there’s the last week: getting my marks back. OH NO! (I’m thinking of working on Thursday & Friday as well as Saturday – I want to buy a new shirt or something for the dance next wednesday) Also that art problem is due Friday!! I was so worried→ everyone else had done theirs – I hadn’t. 9:37. Am gone wake earlier than the birds and work like hell.

Wednesday 4/6/86

NO MORE EXAMS! was all I could think about after my maths exam. Who gives a hoot if I failed? Most people did too so Ha! Went to mima’s again after – watched a movie, then went to the shop before speech. Pity. I won’t see Mark for a long time now – 5 days: and then after those 4 school days, for another fortnight or so. BOO HOO. Stuffed maths something severe. But everyone I asked (except Brent) left at least (Cameron McK) 5 Q’s blank – I left about 15 I think Ha Ha SHIT. Oh I’ll miss Mark. Just finished watching Lace II was pretty good! Still, I think I preferred Lace I. Is 10:30 and I can sleep in tomorrow YAY!!

Thursday 5/6/86

Well. Today was a bit of a big waste of time. I woke around 7:15, got a letter from Lucy, replied it & mum sent that. I spent the whole day at home. S’posed to do my art. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested; I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t know what to do at all. [Equivalent to Writer’s Block… is there a phrase for Artists’ lack of inspiration?] And I ate a lot. But I didn’t watch any TV till about 5:30. In fact I was quite bloody board. And amazingly enough, I thought about Mark one hell of a lot today more than I have before. Also read up on his starsign again. Still think we’d be a great pair→ but there are a few disagreeable things→ e.g. he’s s’posed to be STUBBORN. 9:41. And I feel an idiot. Can’t wait till this boring weekend finishes. [5days]

Friday 6/6/86

EAT. That’s practically all I did today too. Didn’t get my art in either. SHIT. Hafta see if she’ll take it on Tuesday. I had started at around 1:30 finally on a good copy (and it looks good so far) but when mum came at 2:30 to take me to school (to hand it in) I had not done anymore on it coz I was stuck. Now I still don’t know what to do. Poop. Anyway. I ate heaps in fact I’m totally disgusted with myself. Also Mark (& Cameron) would’ve left today for baseball in Mackay. Good LUCK! Not one day goes by when I don’t think of Mark. [It’s kind of interesting how all this stuff makes me vomit just a little in my mouth now. It’s not that I’m “hard as nails” now but I’m sure I’m not as ‘soggy’ as I was then.] 11:05. I am tired – movie was funny (kind of) Didn’t watch any TV again tho’ in the day. raining & windy still. I don’t mind→ at least it’s cold!!

Saturday 7/6/86

Boy am I tired. Went out tonight→ to Pizza Hut for tea, then to see “Crocodile Dundee” which, by the way, happens to be the best, funniest most entertaining movie out. I laughed my guts out!! Anyway we got home at 9:30 (early showing – no support movie or shorts) Is now 10:27 and I am stuffed. Today I ate again. Don’t know what’s come over me. Usually I have a ‘fair’ appetite but now I’m “glutton-ish”; eat everything in sight (practically) But I’m so tired. Went to town this morning. Julia spent her birthday money new shoes, beautiful knit jumper & small accessories. Lucky devil. I’d love to have spent $100 there (Sportsgirl) this morning. Pooped! Nite!

Sunday 8/6/86

I woke at 5:00 to mum’s cries of help. The light was on and in the laundry blood covered the floor. Mum was on the toilet. She was MISCARRYING. That was 5:00. By 7:00, she (had finally decided to go to hospital cos she was feeling weak) was in hospital. [Oh my god, the way that’s written it sounds as if she might have driven herself? No mention of an ambulance nor of someone else (Geoff?) taking her… and I can’t remember either. Driving herself would’ve been a huge risk if she was so weak. But mum being as independent as she was, nothing would surprise me.] Julia & I stayed home tidied up the remaining ‘mess’ fixed the house then amused ourselves till about 1:30, when Geoff came & took us to the hospital. Mum looks weak & ill, but she said she was fine but absolutely STARVED. (she was on a drip.) And she had to stay tonight because one surgeon in the whole hospital was there & so didn’t do it today. That’s pathetic. In a hospital that size there should be more than 1 surgeon. Geoff’s staying over (Had fish’n chips for tea) to mind us. Been one heck of a busy day. Only got 6hrs last nite. Lemme sleep now!! 8:35