exams – Page 3 – A Life in Words

Cross Country, Halley’s Comet & Sales Tax (7-13 April)

Published on April 7, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 7/4/86

Very boring, actually. I was glad to be back at school, but tried to stay out of YKW’s way cos I hated my hair. Most people did notice. Some really liked it but by far the majority thought it was just “nice”. [Tell tale sign that they actually didn’t care, Liss!] I told everyone I didn’t like it. And that’s the truth. [I still do this, and I really don’t see it as being self-deprecating. I honestly just tell the truth.] Fiona told me today that ugly “tough” black guy with big lips and nose & crucifix earring likes me. Lynette C told her. I always score the YUKKY ones I wish Mark liked me. Oh, how I wish. I also wish my hair’d grow back fast. No poops at school→ got the pains but withheld and, surprise, surprise, the one I did tonight was about 90% normal! [Surprise, surprise! Oh dear] 9:34. Didn’t do any HW naughty. mima & fi weren’t on the bus → they went with Mr G. Also went different ways after school

[And at the back of the diary in ‘Notes’ section, I’d written:] Yeah man! It’s the 7th – I’m back at school in 2nd term. My first week of this month was shithouse. I was sick and depressed (about mainly my flop of a hairstyle. N’ever mind…..)

Tuesday 8/4/8

Cross Country run. Didn’t even get a place. [Seriously? Reading this I was surprised that I’d even written it. Did I really think it was a remote possibility? I wasn’t a runner, I barely exercised on a regular basis. That is strange …and funny.] Heather, Justine, Mima, Fi, Joannah & Megan & I ran sort of together. Actually we walked most of it. I’ve got aches in my legs now – not like from doing the exercise → like growing pains. At the end Mima, Fiona & Joannah, Melissa [uh, Melissa? Who’s that? I think I meant Megan] ran ahead. But we (J,H [Justine, Heather] & me) beat them cos although we walked, we jumped the fence instead of going all the way round. Did no HW again. Bad, huh? I’ve got to do some Esp. chemistry tomorrow night – exam on Thursday. “mmmm…looks good to me” is my new thing about Mark “mmm” is mark. [Oh really? I’d NEVER have guessed…] Another late night. Yes! 9:45. My watch band broke on the run. Gonna hafta get it fixed proply

Wednesday 9/4/86

Got 43½/50 for my Biology & 8/15 for Chemistry. Worse still, it’s 10:50 and I have barely looked at my chemistry work for my exam tomorrow. I got only 4 more flowers (all the others they were all out of) & a lot of speech homework. And my art isn’t finished. I’m in a real fix. I’ll hafta wake early. My watch is fixed. I forgot to clean my teeth this morning & put deodourant on. Not a good start, huh?! Now my feet; I think I have damaged from the cross country in sandshoes…There’s a big hard lump in the bottom of my left heel. I don’t feel good at all. I got my fringe straight today → blow-dry technique. Geez. I really feel down sometimes

Thursday 10/4/86

I did fail chemistry, I’m sure. I knew almost nothing. Heather & Brent & I (don’t tell anyone) cheated a little – compared answers. I think I’ll have to start a home study timetable or I’ll fail chemistry and maths. Biology and english are basically simple compared to those. [I am definitely a ‘words’ not ‘numbers’ person (which is why I’m amazed that I ever thought of accountancy as a career prospect) and as it turn out, biology has come to figure prominently in my fitness career] It’s 10:20 Another late night. Watched TV, started my journal for art (when I realised I’d left the script [?] at school so I couldn’t do it anyway) then did (or started) what I hope to be my 6-adjective piece. Didn’t get to see Halley’s Comet again. Haven’t seen it yet. That’s appalling. It’ll be out of sight soon too. Trust the weather to be bad when it’s visible. [This was the only opportunity I would have to see Halley’s Comet in my lifetime…unless I reach the age of 90 with perfect vision (and, uh, that’s already an impossibility) Since it returns to our solar system every 75-76 years, it’s not expected again until mid 2061. Bummer, dude.] Ate a lot when I got home from school. Always do. It’s a shame. I eat little except when I get home. I could be losing weight. Wish I didn’t pig out at hm. Mark was away today. (So was Angela M) You don’t think…? Nah. Impossible! (??)

Friday 11/4/86

11:20. How time flies. Only an hour ago, it was 9:00, I could’ve sworn! My throat is slowly killing me (well, not quite) I am worried about what I will do after Yr 12. I’m so insecure. [No idea, which I wasn’t to know, is the same for many…] Geoff advised me to get a job and found a career before dabbling in art, cos’ the competition in that arena these days is so high. But I want also to go where most of my friends go (not “James Cook” Uni – yuk – townsville [JCU was a new tertiary education institution then and was founded in Townsville, Cairns’ rival city] I hate thinking about it. I’m terrified. I might be getting a cold I think Hope not. Bludge in double english – Mr Grossetti was away. Did bio assignment & decorated my diary. Wondering if Mark really does like me or if it’s his way of flirting. Hope he does He was away again. And I’ve had a sore throat all day – it’s been a bad day

Saturday 12/4/86

$28.20. (I let dad keep the 20c!!) I did $12.20 worth of drums – big and little. And 4½hrs work (sales tax.) It could have been 7½hrs, but my foolishness cut it back. You see, when I started at 11:30, I went the wrong way doing the tax so I’d just repeated what was already done. This was at 2:45, I realised. Dad said he wasn’t going to pay for my mistake [hard task-master], so I started again – correctly this time and worked till 7pm. My itches also became worse today (ever since Wed, I’ve been getting really itchy all over, but only for a short time in the mornings) Today I came up in lumps And was totally red from scratching. Now I have blood blisters from it. Yuk [I get itches these days too but it’s definitely not the same as this. ‘Neural Dermatitis’ doesn’t produce lumps, rashes or any other kind of skin affliction.] 11:00 LATE AGAIN. Wonder if Mark is at Anne Maries Birthday party. Wonder… I like him. [You don’t say?]

Sunday 13/4/86

AUNTIE HILARY’S HERE!! She came at 11:30. I did my art today. Wanted to get english, bio & maths done too but didn’t have time. I read over some of my diary (the parts that I was at school) [True procrastination – no time to do all my homework but time enough to read my diary…] Esp. about Mark. Gee, I was so confused then (not saying I’m not now) One day I’d be sure (?) he liked me, the next he wasn’t interested. Its all the same, tho, huh? Always like that. Jodie gave us a present – a cute exercise book & pen. Cold is just nasal now i.e.: no sore throat just blocked & runny nose. Nose is sore. Is 8:56 Early-ish nite for once. School is tops except for the work. (!!!)

Sweatin’ the Small Stuff & a Bleedin’ Wart (24-30 March)

Published on March 24, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 24/3/86

I think Mark has little interest in me. Angela M’s birthday today. I think he likes her after all. Better still, cause otherwise I’d be all confused and getting my hopes up otherwise (like I have been) so I’ll leave it. And just look not touch. (I’m always doing that!) [This mental anguish and ‘flip-flopping’ is ‘hilarious’] Boring day. All are now. The year 12’s were inducted today – periods 6&7. Boring. It’s 9:28. I have done very little study for my test (maths) Trust me [to not study]. I never do. Why? I just can’t concentrate or keep to studying. That’s poor. Oh well. I’ve come to expect my standards as poor. [Here we go – total self deprecation as a result of feeling ‘unloved’ and/or ‘unlovable’] There are times when I wonder what my point on Earth is. [Interestingly, this exact theme has reared its head many a time throughout my life. I have often felt I lack purpose. Even though I know what I like, what I’m passionate about, do you think I can find a way to channel it into something that resembles ‘Life Purpose’?] My friends (Jemima especially seem to have lost interest in me) May as well say what I say every day God, Mark is a spunk.

Tuesday 25/3/86

No! I haven’t lost hope totally! At big lunch today, he spent all of it right in my view. [Er….SO? Are we clutching at straws here?] Every minute. He sat right near where we sat & went into the room, near windows where I could see him and he actually spoke to me! (His first sober words!!) “Hi elissa. Do you remember me? This is my friend Greg!” [Evidently Greg was standing next to him.] Wow! But it’s a start!! I’m far too shy I think. Maths test?? Ugh! I don’t think I did too well. I know I definitely have no more than 28/30 cos’ I couldn’t do one Q worth 2 marks. I think probably 20-22. Also had a spot test in Biology I got 15½/24. (I did some study tonight!!) English assignment I haven’t looked at yet! ooo-wa!! Is 9:18 now. Going late night tomorrow (Fri. is a public holiday) so I’ll see Mark at work. Will say hello. Must (try)

Wednesday 26/3/86

I’m still, of course, trying not to get any hopes up. But. It’s hard. I discovered that the ‘MARK’ I had written on my fingers wasn’t fully off. I’d wondered how many people might’ve seen it. It was pretty faint. Went late night shopping → at Kmart. [oh, so no opportunity to be too shy to say anything?] Pity, huh?! Went to speech, on my own before-hand (see, cos of Good Friday, all the suburbs & town shops were open tonight which meant mima had to work.) Gee it’s 9:53!! I have my Bio exam tomorrow and, you guessed it, I haven’t studied. God, I’m a shithead. [Believe me, I’ve called myself a lot worse!] Cross country run was cancelled due to rain – didn’t stop all day (till about 5:30 tonight) Wow!! Have an english assignment due which I haven’t done. So I will do lots on the holidays. [Pfffft, yeah.] Am I happy? I don’t know. I really don’t know

Thursday 27/3/86

Have I had one shit of a day. The worst in my life, I’d say. (so far as little things go [whadda they say… “don’t sweat the small stuff”? It’s taken me a long to grasp this one, and I still have moments struggling with it]) I get 16½/30 for maths (but it becomes 18 as I discover unjustly marked sum.) Am told to do my english assignment at lunchtime→ didn’t go – so ultimately feel guilty for the rest of the day→ Go to town after school (after attempting to ring mum all day [to tell her I assume]) and find out that Julia rang dad and told him. [And that meant potentially more trouble] (Today’s consolations include 20/24 for multiple choice section of my Bio exam, which was generally easy.) I just feel so down – Am really confused, concerning Mark. I wish I knew whether he likes me or not. Sometimes I think he does and sometimes not. HELL. Is 10:05. On bus, these hoons [‘bogans’] followed [the bus] cos Mima flirted (for fun) And they followed from town all the way in to Stratford! Dicks! they must be desperate GOODBYE Sandy! [Sandy dropped out of our CAD art class so early because her family was leaving Cairns. Twas evidently her last day.]

Friday 28/3/86

I did it! I wrote an english assignment today (I willed myself) and went round to Mr Grossetti’s and gave it to him (well, he was getting fish & chips→ Mrs G said to wait. 2mins and it took 30 seconds. He pulled up. I said “this is my missing assignment.” He said, “Gett a bit pakky did you?” [Now, I’m fairly certain that, even at the time I wrote this in my diary, I wasn’t sure of what Mr G had actually said there. You see, we used to say someone was “packing it” or moreover “packing shit” if they were ‘scared’ or nervous. So that kind of fit the scenario. But if he did choose that cool teen lingo, he’d gotten it wrong! What seems more likely is that he’d actually said ‘panicky’.] “Yeh. And I apologise for not seeing you about it” “Never mind, it’s still mid-semester.” And that was it.) Today I ate an Easter bunny. I ate a lot in fact. Watched a bit of TV. Have a feeling now about how my hols’ are gonna be. Only 9 days thank god! Did I tell you another depressing thing I found out also yesterday was that the Japanese trip cost is now $2,200? Looks quite likely I won’t be able to go. SHIT. I’ll work hard. 10 past 10. Missing Mark already. Think about him (and kissing him) when I’m trying to get to sleep at night. rainy windy cool weather!

Saturday 29/3/86

My wart bled, today. Yukky. [I had a couple of strange little warts on different parts of my hands at various times in my youth: not the typical ‘bubble’ type ones. These looked more like callouses. Quite strange. I don’t recall them bleeding however.] I took the plaits out this morning (I had them in overnight) & it looked foul. [‘Crimping’ hair was in at the time, so if you didn’t have a crimper, the next best option was to plait your hair while it was wet. Clearly, it didn’t impress me.] Later in the day I applied gel & twisted sections, which I let “loose” when it dried→ it looked FANTASTIC!! [That turned out more Like-A-Virgin-Madonna-esque!] I spent a fair bit of time this arvy, putting Julia’s hair in plaits, too. I also ate a LOT today. I am ashamed. Read all about Taurean males → sounds almost like a perfect match (I think he’s pretty-well a true Taurean.) [Didn’t REALLY understand astrology at this stage, obviously] Also did (what I could) on my Bio. assignment, i.e.: wrote out info (for the flowers which weren’t mouldy) neatly. Watched TV & listened a fair bit to the radio. EXCITING HUH? It’s 10:10 now. I’m not dead tired, but feel I should get to sleep easily ♥♥ Mark. Is the only thing I think about these daze??

Sunday 30/3/86

It’s kinda cool at the moment! I’m not too well, but before you start saying “No wonder, all the chocolate you’ve eaten in the past 3 days”, I don’t mean ‘ill’. Just a small, nagging head ache. Watched TV & did practically nothing until went to Nana’s around 1:30 (saw Fi, cos we went to her Newsagency to get Nin a casket ticket) I was watching the movie, but got tired. My feet were numb with cold!! We drove around from Nana’s → looking at houses. Went from Edge Hill, right way round to Whitfield just around Back streets!! Am a bit more tired tonight. (Was cool last night – woke at 7:30, still with my covers on) Weather is still continuing like Melbourne would experience [I say this purely from its reputation, not my personal experience! I had never set foot in the city at this point in my life.] i.e.: rainy/sunny → changing every minute (sometimes even at the same time) 10:08. I’ve (almost-not quite) decided to cancel trip to Japan, & go to Dire Straits concert (I must cos Mark is) [Of course. Dire Straits weren’t necessarily my favourite band, but international acts were a rarity in Cairns, so you would usually go whether you were overly keen or not. Because it was a phenomenon in itself, anyone famous coming to our little town.]

The Mannequin & the Ancient African Queen (17-23 March)

Published on March 17, 2014 by Elissa Coxen1 Comment

Monday 17/3/86

Guess who was a snob today? I walked down to art, passed him (in a crowd of people) he looked but face was the usual scornful look – no’ expression. I smiled partially. [Definitely one of those begin-to-smile-then-realise-the-recipient-isn’t-going-to-reciprocate moments] I had wanted to say Hello. Angie was upset, too. Sandy B said Mark told her he didn’t like her. (I don’t mean to sound cruel but I hope he doesn’t) [Obviously self-interest, certainly no animosity] Also, Keith kinda looked as if he wanted to say hi, but I was too shy. [Surprise, surprise!] In art, 4th period – he came briefly into our class (I was sitting near the door & partially smiled at him as he entered) I do like Mark a fair bit. Got up-to-date (fairly, anyway) in Maths. Actually got my english assignment in too!! Double Bio tomorrow. I wonder if Mark remembered the things we did & said – I hope so. He’s so nice! It’s 9:38. I have the distinct feeling I’m not in Jemima’s good books lately. Wonder if I’ve upset her at all. Heather & Marg esp. H. are being really nice to me now. Same as lotsa others. I’m in good books [I’m certainly not feeling like the ‘goody-goody’ (social ‘pariah’) I felt I was at Smithfield High now.]

Tuesday 18/3/86

M-Mark! Mm-mm! Hunky!! Did I tell you we got the car back yesterday? No? Well it looks good (abit funny tho’, cos all the parts are new & modern i.e. bumper bar, grill, lights & bonnet etc and it makes the car ooh funny – back part old fashioned – front modern!!) Rode today with mima (Fi’s got a flat) First a dog chased us, then got soaked to the bone in a downpour (And I got a bit the same on my way home, too) Beka also called in to give me a belt back Wanted to tell her all about the party & Mark – but didn’t have time. Also did no HW. Hafta wake early tomorrow to do it. Also have to reply to Fran’s & Delanie’s letter, yet. Raining now. I love it. Rain, rain come & stay, never ever go away!! Ha! Ha! It’s 9:36. And I should’ve gotten to bed an hour ago.

Wednesday 19/3/86

I had some good news today. Well, I’m hoping it means good. Y’see, at lunchtime, barely anyone was around our seats, except Angie (M) & Astia & the pop. guys up the end. Terry said “elissa” – I look ’round → he said “come here”. I say “why?” “Wanna talk to you” – I start to move up & hear a funny noise from the group→ a laugh kind of. [yes, clearly the boys were getting ‘excited’ & ready for the ‘entertainment’…] I’m sure I went scarlet & I felt great heat creeping up my neck and face. I didn’t hear who he said but Terry said “… is a nice guy.” Shame! But you know who I hoped it was! (Angie M. was away yesterday [here I am omitting something that is not my place to share] ) After speech, fi, mim & I were talking about … mim said she doesn’t think he hates me (cos we were “together all night→ Bull) Fi said she overheard M & Steven in art and said “You remember the manequin?” “Yes” he said (I dunno how he said it though) [I’m surprised I didn’t mention the ‘Mannequin’ anecdote, but then I was limited for space in my diary. It began on the Fitzroy Island biology excursion, when I was ‘caught’ dozing on the boat ride back to Cairns: when I opened my eyes, I saw Mark & Angie & the rest of the group all looking at me, then (naturally) they laughed. I was highly embarrassed (which is another reason I’m surprised I didn’t recount the tale on the day). So at the party, Mark was asked (can’t recall whether I or one of my friends interrogated him) about that moment and his explanation was that they were concluding I looked like a mannequin because I was so still. Hmm, doesn’t ring true with me now, but I ‘ate it up’ then.] M. is tops. It’s 9:33. Wow!! another late night & no HW done. Wonder, wonder, wish (??!!)

Thursday 20/3/86

I am confused. I don’t know whether he likes me or not (to start with) and whether he likes Angela M still or not. (It’s known that he said he didn’t, but maybe he changed his mind. [It has been known to happen!] Hope not. Hope he likes me a lot. If not a lot, then not at all [haha, “all or nothing”!] Because if I did go with him, I’d be constantly afraid of the relationship ending. Cause I like him a lot & I don’t think I could cope with him saying he didn’t like me. [Oh dear, so much Fear at such a young age. So much …Ego!] Oooohhhhh… English exam I think I failed. It was so hard compared to the ones we got from Smithfield. Didn’t ride today – I rode to mim’s in morning to check – caught bus at her stop & watched everyone at gym. Fun? Nuh. It’s 10:01 on the dot. And I am disturbed. My dream last night gave me doubts about ever (if possible) entering into a relationship with anyone. PS: I did maths HW

Friday 21/3/86

Can barely keep my eyes open. Is 10:20. I am so tired. Went to Nana’s to help her with her cleaning and also change around her furniture. After, went to Coles to get some (few) groceries for us. Mark was there – I didn’t see him until the end. Wonder what he thinks of me. It is so hard to tell. Wish I knew. Wish there was another party. Damn, am so tired – my eyes are so sore. Chemistry was O.K. Tanja & I were able to check some answers but I know I haven’t full marks. Got 17/20 for my english assignment, too, which is excellent, considering I wrote it before school & at lunch-time!! [I was always a ‘natural’ in English] Have another one to do this weekend + Maths + Biology study. I am dead. Work tomorrow. Have decided to ask dad if he can give me money instead of chocolate, for Easter. I really want to get my hair permed. I must also lose some weight.

Saturday 22/3/86

Half-hoping someone would ring and invite me to a party, I decided not to spend the night at Dad’s unlike Julia. [This is exactly what I say to people when I’m finding examples of my “un-familial” nature. I yearned for social stimulation (but didn’t actively seek it out- duh!) Funnily enough, I believe I inherited my sociability from my father himself – I have always perceived him as more of a social creature than a devoted family man. Perhaps this is why, to this day, we maintain significantly less contact than my sister and he do?] I worked only a little – there was not much to do – I earned $21.50. When I got home, I wrote letters – 1 to Fran (short-ish) but the 1 I wrote to Delanie was 8 pages: about 6 or 7 of which were all about Mark, the party & Fitzroy etc. Ha! I’m wishing’! (Bloody oath, I am – no joke. He’s got to like me. Got to) Oh! It’s 10:38. Late night again. And I did no HW again as usual. Cram, Cram, Cram. Have maths, bio study & eng. & bio assignments to do tomorrow. Poop. AM starting to feel tired now. Weather is wierd. All my thoughts and writings (i.e. letters & this diary) are concerned with Mark. he is all I think about. Oh dear. [Yes, oh dear]

Sunday 23/3/86

A Life in Words — Elissa, Queen of Carthage coin, circa 410-310BC

It’s 9:42. 10 minutes ago I finished a letter to lucy. Now, this weekend, I have written 4 letters, sent 2. Started writing out rules for maths exam. Did a bit on bio assignment (found out most of my flowers are now mouldy or brown) and (very little) for english. Spent most of my time Doing my hair, listening to music, reading about classical mythology and eating. [We had a strange little single volume ‘Pears’ encyclopedia that I loved to delve into now & then. It contained some pretty eclectic info, including a great deal on Mythology, which I loved. In it I actually discovered an alternative origin of my name, other than the boring “derivative of Elizabeth”. Elissa (or Dido) was a Phoenecian princess credited with founding and then ruling as first Queen of the city of Carthage (in what is now Tunisia) in 814BC. I’m guessing that predates the very English name ‘Elizabeth’. Perhaps Elizabeth is a derivative of Elissa?] Nell & Amanda came around. Conversation was very weak – couldn’t get one started. But they left almost as soon as they came. Nana came over, too. In all my letters (except to Jodie & Mike & to a lesser extent, Fran) I have detailed about mark – it has been the major subject of the letters. I just can’t get him off my mind. Am I in love? [Nope] Or deeply infatuated? [Bingo!] Or, or what? [Obsessed?] God I wish I knew.

Bye Bye Smithfield High (25 November-1 December)

Published on November 25, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 25/11/85

Ugh! Maths wasn’t too bad, but I think it’ll be a miracle if I get over 60/70. Damn! It’s more likely I’ll get over 50 – well, what’s wrong with a high achievement?? [High Achievement is not enough for a high achiever, read perfectionist!] But history…. I dunno about that ‘un at all!! A pass, but not a good one, I don’t think. Strelitzias were given out today and in last session, everybody was signing everybodies. I don’t have the magazine, but Ms Hornibrook said if I brought my $5 in early tomorrow I could get one. Cor, it’s hot! Got a parcel from CHS. Got subject selection form, subject guide booklet CHS prospectus & letter. There’s a meeting on the 3rd of December for us [CAD art] kids. I’m definitely gonna go now cos Astia is. Oh, so sad: I don’t want this week to go fast [Last week of school/Year 10 = last week at Smithfield State High School]

Tuesday 26/11/85

I got the very last Strelitza today. Lucky, huh??!! AM BOILING!! MY EXAMS ARE OVER!! FINISHED!! Art was quite simple, BP was a bit harder. I would have passed in both I’m sure. Had to do the piccy for the girl’s uniform for Smithy 1986 Prospectus. Front & back view. Thrilling, huh?? [Well yes, Liss, give yourself some credit.] I will see it, though, cos Julia’ll get one. Lucy came round this arvy. We went to the park & talked. This boy (saints uniform) walked across & to the brick house behind. He must have been watching us, with, gasp, Neville cos’ when Luc & I rode up & round the street, I saw them sitting on the stone wall. We went to the school. Coming home, they WHISTLED SHAME!! Anyway, am boiling hot. And watching ANZACS (only one up) Will finish soon. Am worn out!! HOT

Wednesday 27/11/85

Watched last part of ANZACS. It was so sad. I don’t think I have ever cried as much as I did in that. [I still tear up quite readily if I think about or witness cruelty or others’ sadness. In fact, I have come to learn that sadness belies pretty much all of my negative moods; it’s pretty much my personal ‘root evil’.] Julia laughed at me, so I tried to laugh instead – but it [my choked laugh, I assume] ended up sounding like a sick dog!!! Today – er – 17/30 for my 3 englishes. 6½, 7 & 3½→ fail!! OH WELL!! 74/100 for Science. OH WELL!! and (YAY!!) 14/15, 8/10 + 11½/15 for German! Also 34½/50 for history – 22 for one assignment, 20½ for the other!!! Still need more people to sign my Strelitzia. Want Tim to, but he won’t: doesn’t know me well enough. OH WELL! Y’know The Saints guy from yesterday – well he walked across park again. But passing our house, he looked in. I looked out & he saw me & smiled. Got a cute smile. Also this morning, some YR9 girls at the busstop were throwing around things off this tree & got me! I said “do you mind?” & Ms Rebecca P mocked me. HOW CHILDISH

Thursday 28/11/85

Am soo tired. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Gonna be unreeeeal!! Green Is, then Lucy’s party! Can’t wait!! Art 58½/60. (Good fluke) & 53½/70 for maths. Am so relieved. Little happy but mostly relieved cos I got over 50. I wanted to Get between 58-65 but that was an impossible dream. Wore wrong shirt today wasn’t sprung luckily. Wagged bits of lessons. Pretty boring. Ben P actually spoke to me in BP (were (Fiona U, Ian, him & me) all talking about maths) He said “I got 29, Lissa” for mid semester test out of 30. [I considered him one of the popular guys] Coulda got him to sign my Strelitzia but chickened out. Y’know that Saints guy? He smokes→ saw him walking home again this arvy with a fag. Pity he’s quite a good looker. Sat on the stone wall again, I think to watch me cos when I looked after mum had shut the door & pulled down the blind, he was gone. Is 10:45. Am bugared.

Friday 29/11/85

170 people from Smithfield came when we’d only booked for 130. So Mr Van volunteered 10J & a few 10H’s to stay back in town & catch the fast boat at 10:30. We walked around town – Kim, Fran, Astia, Sharon D, Fi & me. Tried to buy Westcoast. [The most popular wine cooler on the market back then] Unsuccessful. Astia’s boyfriend Jamie (over 18) got us some Island Cooler. Yukky & more alcohol compared to Westcoast.. Baked on the boat. Was fun at Green Is. Swam, walked around & jumped (were pushed) off wharf!! Didn’t need to sun bake. Got red. not too burnt, but sore enough!! Didn’t see Tim at all till he left. Oh well. Got back off the fast boat (late one) about 5:15; rushed in town & caught bus home. Ready for Lucy’s; dressed & showered. Didn’t pack much for overnite. Party was [at this point I had to turn the page to continue the story…]

Saturday 30/11/85

unreeal, had over 15 cups of rum & wine punch + 3 or 4 cups of coke (2 of which had whiskey added) Mrs W. & Rod didn’t go out. Ben P & Richard came – I thought they, besides Harry & Jemima, were the life of the party. Wasn’t drunk – just relaxed. There was Ian, Wade, Skinner, Harry, his friend, Ben, Richard, Jay & Wayne & Sharon W, me, Lucy, Fi, Mim, Danäe, Colleen, Anna, Sally, Justine, Deyarne & Michelle H & Jay’s girlfriend Rebecca. I like Richard. Ben is nice but Jemima’s absolutely flipped over him. Sally thinks Richard likes Justine. Hope not. He hates me anyway & I can feel it. [You know what they say: the attributes & attitudes you find attractive & unattractive in others is actually a reflection of yourself? Well that there comment screams of Self Hate.] Got about 5 hrs sleep. Mucked around today at Lucy’s (Danäe went home early) Luc, Beka & Me lazed about until 4:30-5:00 Mum took us home. Slept a bit at home, felt little sick right now. Just VERY tired. Mim’s head over heels with Ben. He likes her, but not as much, mutually. Ian & Wade & Shane were bored I think. Wayne, Sharon, Deyarne & Michelle left early thank god. [Ah, what? Why thanks god I wonder? I don’t recall being averse to any of these people. Maybe too many popular people for me and I felt uncomfortable?] Gotta have more like that. I think even Harry enjoyed it. He was pisst!! Everyone came late around 9:00.

Sunday 1/12/85

Boy, have I had one social life; In the past 3 days + tomorrow!! Woke late this morning & did Xmas cards all day. Have so many! Went to Dianne & Kerry’s. Stayed for tea & watched video “Gremlins” UNREEAL. On the way there, saw Ben & Richard!! Almost flipped!! I dunno if they actually saw me but they watched the car all the way past!! Julia thinks Richard’s nice looking too! me; well, not so much looks, but; I dunno what attracts me!! Anyway, when I rang Fran (at Di & Kerry’s) she’d said they’d been to Erica’s. She’d (Fran) been at mim’s all day cos’ her mum had lunch with Mrs B) so she knew the story between Mim & Ben. She is going to Justine’s party now & Ben & Richard are supposed to, too. I’m worried that, if mima & Ben do hit it off, that Fi will get Richard. NO!! Anyway for the moment I don’t think Ben’s as flipped over mim as she is over him. But never can tell…!!! Is 10:15 now. Busy day tomorrow.

New White Sandshoes & Exams, Oh Exams (18-24 November)

Published on November 18, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 18/11/85

My throat isn’t too bad, now Just a lot of snot (not a runny nose – just full of snot. [That would be…solid opaque chunks I gather? As opposed to clear liquid? Nothing like a little detail!] Tania P. helped me understand how to do my Novel assignment so I have done ¾ of that tonight, as well as highlighting important points for my Shakespeare & Poetry Exams. Also started revising Astronomy in Science. Although is 10:30, feel as if I have achieved something tonight. Slept badly last nite. Woke at 3:30 this morning. Could not get to sleep again, once cos’ of my throat, so got up & started writing out history essay. Got some sandshoes this arvy, too. Gonna wear them to skool every day left this year. Also – is confirmed definitely yr10’s going to Green Island (so are CHS, & the St’s schools) was BROILING today [in?] general assembly.

Tuesday 19/11/85

It is now – oh – haven’t got my watch on. Anyway’s about 11:15. Can’t do my english (Shakespeare) won’t pass it. Definite fail. Have only done 1½ pages & it’s mostly plagarized Who cares?? (me, of course) Had german listening test – fail for certain, I’m sure! My new white sandshoes are very bright. Everyone (well, only Harry & Lucy) tried to dull them by standing on them. SHIITS!! Am no too tired will be in the morning tho. I hafta get up early. Study BP. Finish writing out History & English assign. (they’re due), then learn my crappy Shakespeare SHIT

Wednesday 20/11/85

10:30 now. Not as bad as last nite. Got my 2 History’s & 1 english handed in. I think I failed my BP exam. I didn’t look once (oh, well once) at my book. But english Shakespeare on the other hand I was pleased with. Although I hadn’t learnt it off by heart, I remembered almost everything & it even took 2 pages instead of the 1¼ I had done last night & I even left some things out & was only writing medium size HOPE I get a good mark after all that!! Worried about other english exams now. + science + german. Got 17/20 for my B.P assignment (½) only for presentation. Studied science tonite. Hope I do well in that, no in EVERYTHING!!

Thursday 21/11/85

Now 10:34. I am bugared. Got animal farm started this arvy cos’ did my Judith Wright in spare periods today (when I should have done German) but I think I’lll at least pass it – it was that hard. Reading part (worth more) was easiest. So in animal farm am gonna wake early to finish writing it out. Then must learn it a little & Judith Wright. then finish learning science. I feel I know all the content questions I just must keep a level head. Nana & Ruth coming around a lot lately. Anyway – going to ‘Verandah’s’ Restaurant for tea tomorrow night. [Verandah’s Restaurant was one of the top local restaurants back in the day. Although this visit was with my mum and her boyfriend, my dad had a business relationship with the owner so we often went there with him & my stepmother for the ‘special occasions’ like birthdays] I am tired. Think I will go to CHS – I must do something Different. Too dependant on this school.

Friday 22/11/85

Have not yet got my periods. that means Ill have ’em at Green Island. POOP! (unless I skip 1 or they come very late – cos’ they already are now.) [My handwriting becomes huge and messier from this point in this day’s entry. It doesn’t seem to relate to excessive emotion, at first…] Science – oh well – I’ll pass it. I suppose and english poetry I mucked up, but Animal Farm was good. Got 21 [here I cannot decipher what the hell I scrawled] 22 for my foreign policy History assignment Mr Van said. UNREAL!! Went to “Verandah’s” Restaurant for dinner: Felt sick. Did a shit & lots of farts. [hmm, pleasant.] Ate a lot especially, throughout the day. Am BOILED. Am shitty cos’ hafta stay at dad’s on weekend. Complained to mum & now Geoff’s shitty with me. Dickhead. am tired is 11:05

Saturday 23/11/85

Mum left for Yungaburra at about 2:30. I spend the day, not really studying much, but mucking about. I did do some study – but I have quite a bit more to do yet. Looks like I won’t get history done much, if, at all! Dad came at 5:30, spent the time watching TV, wanted an early nite but late dinner [my stepmother & father have always eaten late. Their standard mealtime is anywhere between 8 and 930pm] & shower & had to wash & dry up – Anthony washed so got to bed late. Hold on, my watch is in the kitchen…[assuming I went to get it]..is 11:02. So I must sleep in, at least a bit. Must study hard in maths & a little for history. Is hot. Have the fan on full bore!! In Jacki’s room. She moved out a while ago. Room is different now.

Sunday 24/11/85

Ended up not coming home until 4:00 or after (about 5:30) Did waste of time History today. Wasted the whole day. I am a little worried about History – but am having a major heart-attack about Maths. Will get up at 5:30 tomorrow & study like hell. Hope I do well…. I MUST do well. This is my last week at Smithfield. How sad. But I mustn’t become home-sick for it. I will make more friends at Cairns High. Haven’t got my periods yet. Hope I don’t get them Before Friday or goodbye Green Island!!! I don’t think I will (I’m hoping.) is HOT Heat is terrible. Am bugared.

School Stress, Creature Invasions & the Mullet (11-17 November)

Published on November 11, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 11/11/85

Got the official letter of acceptance into the art course. Have decided to accept, however I’ll give them notice that I may reject it over the holidays. Had my haircut. Is nothing like how I wanted it. God, Annette’s docile. Now I look almost bald on top & my hair is long & thick at the bottom. [Hmm, that sounds suspiciously like a mullet? Every reason to be unhappy in that case.] And my survey-sheets (so many of them) were misprinted etc – that added to my anger so I had a good ole cry session. (and swearing & throwing things around.) IS BOILING we NEED fans. Can’t stand the heat. [Anyone who has lived in, or visited Cairns between October & March should have an idea of exactly how horrendous it would be to live without fans, let alone air conditioning. Aircon? Pfft, only pussies live in the Tropics with a fully air conditioned house. One of my friends put it perfectly many years ago when he said “What’s the point in living in the tropics if you go from your air conditioned house, to your air conditioned car, to your air conditioned workplace/gym/shopping centre & back again? You have to experience the climate in at least one of those environments!” But… fans would be nice.] Also need flyscreens for doors & windows cos’ toads galore & the usual bugs etc are getting in. [We had a beautifully designed (for the tropics) ground level house, with many french doors and floor to ceiling louvre windows. Brilliant natural ventilation (albeit without fans for those hot still times, that wasn’t useful) however at night with the emergence of insects seeking light and toads seeking insects, we had a literal menagerie of unwanted amphibians arthropods and reptiles in the form of geckos make their way into our abode. Now I’m not at all an animal hater, and I like camping but it can be quite annoying on a day-in-day-out basis.] Now have 7 assignments – 2 english, 2 History, 1 PES and 2 english exam ones (of course there’s another History exam one, too.) FUCKIN’ HELL

Tuesday 12/11/85

Went to presentation rehearsals from 9:15 to 1:15. For that time (except once) I remained seated, doing NOTHING. BORING! The acts were silly but tonite at the actual thing everything was so much better. Minor mishaps. Not many. Got home from skool & rushed into town at 4:20. Borrowed $50 off dad & tried to find a dress. Looked in the City Girl Boutiques. Tried on heaps of dresses & I mean heaps! Finally got a white (with whole floral print) drop waist with buttons up front, & V shaped low collar. BEATIFUL. My hair stayed in place too! Did no HW Is now 11:00. Am bugared – nite!!

Wednesday 13/11/85

I gave Mr Roff my acception [er, acceptance] & he said (after my suggestion) that it would be good to let him know whether I will go or not, when I come back to school to get my Junior Certificate on Dec.6. I have now 10 assign’s 5 english (2 hand in – 3 exams) 3 Hist (2 hand in – 1 exam) 1 (exam) german 1 PES!! GREAT, HUH?!! I’m not going to get it done. TOO BAD, HUH??! NO!! NOT “too bad”. I MUST GET THEM DONE. Wasted tonite. Just rang up people to do my survey. Am so tired: just watched 1986 Miss Australia (Miss NSW won again.) They must have it rigged she couldn’t have won in a fit but she did. They always win. Is not too Hot tonite….. I hope! ….

Thursday 15/11/85

Tonight I broke down. Not a proper break-down. I just had a terrible anger-fit then I couldn’t stop crying. I can’t cope. I have 10 assignments (wel 9 now cos’ I finished one off crappily) & I have a (hard) extension test tomorrow which I didn’t get time to study for. I’ll have to work my arse off this weekend. NO SPARE TIME whatsoever. Got my T-shirt almost done in double lesson [art I assume] today will probly need only 2 more lessons at the most (Good cos’ we’ve only got 2 more left on them!) Looks alright, too. Think I will accept but won’t tell anyone but Mr Roff (have to) & probly Julie H if she can keep a secret. Nose is bleeding again. Late nite 10:15

Friday 16/11/85

O! Work, work, work – wonderful (?????) work!! That’s all I seem to be doing now. Is terribly hot. Watched movie – am tired. Mum & Geoff went to Lifestyle ’85. [I have no idea what this event was. Perhaps some kind of expo? These were rare in the 80’s] Julia & I stayed home & mucked around. Maths Extension test was pretty easy. Made 1 or 2 mistakes that I know of already. Have so much work for the weekend – if I do finish my assignments there’s heaps of study to begin. Neville plays the drums – heard him this arvy. I can’t remember correctly, but I think I had another dream about Tim last night (Good, of course!!)

Saturday 17/11/85

Is 11:10am Bugared. Almost finished my History assignment. Just 2 more (or so) pages left I s’pose + tonite, (that’s why I’m having such a late night.) I wrote out notes for my english report. Can’t do the survey cause there’s no point behind it. Am, Insted, doing the “what tribe is that?” article from Dolly. Mr Van won’t know. I’ll change it round cos’ some girls might. [Well, well, well… my first conscious and/or admitted plagiarism!] Also must do book review tomorrow + Shakespeare study + science study. I’ll be bugared!! I wanted to get this Hist. & Eng. report done today so could sunbake a little tomorrow. SHIT! went for a 10 min ride with Lucy around 5:30. Nin & Ruth came for lunch.

Sunday 18/11/85

Ate & Drank far too much today cos’ I had a very sore/irritated throat from sucking back mucus (there was no Sudafed) Plus my nose is running. YUK I feel terrible. [Hmm, catarrh and a runny nose. Sounds pretty much like a viral infection. Stress opening the door to let it in?] BUT I finished 2 essays!!! Got not study done, however. & still have 7 assignments left. THROAT IS KILLING ME. I am so tired. Mum’s going to let me have tuesday off, to study, do assignments. Don’t know if I will cos’ I have double History. Then again, I need the time…… Face is getting bad – more breakouts on my chin & forehead + I have really bad dermatitis on my toes. + there are still no new razors so I had to use a blunt one. YUK!!!!

A Mauve Outfit, a White Swimsuit & an Inferiority Complex (16-22 September)

Published on September 16, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 16/9/85

NO tests. Mrs B drove us home today (Anna, Jay, me & Fi) cos’ she does voluntary work here (at skool) when Julia got home, we drove into town. Walked around.Worst luck imaginable. All the shews [me being deliberate in my misspelling here, sometimes for phonetic reasons] I liked (weren’t many) were either not in ~~that~~ (my) size or colour. Then, I couldn’t find any shirts or anything. Didn’t do any Homework. Am just bugared. [Actually, I have only just realised how much I use this word, which has a much different meaning to the general public! In our family it was a standard term to describe being very, very tired or exhausted, not unlike the other ‘awkward’ expression some use; “rooted”. Is this Australian slang only?] Can’t wait for the holidays. Eventually (finally handed my selection sheet in) I chose chemistry out of that & economics. Someone told Fi it was just like history so I’m definitely not going to do it. Last nite I dreamed about Tim. I flirted with him. He liked my eyes. Was beautiful. [ ..the dream, the scenario or the guy?] Today Fi told us about her dream that she’d failed english test – said her dreams came true. Wished mine would. I have no chance really. [Great Liss, a lot of compassion shown there to your good friend, by lack of commiseration!]

Tuesday 17/9/85

Very late night. German dinner was fun. Got a new shirt from Ambition colourful almost exactly what I wanted and ($30) Diana Ferrari shoes leather ($40) Am happy. At German dinner went for a walk around Woree. Feet a bit sore but no blisters. Was quite fun – not excellent. Guess what! Adrienne & Erica want us to ride to school with them on Friday. I don’t believe it And we’re s’posed to go to the beach after school together. FUN! [Well I clearly felt a social hierarchy at school. My reaction to this invitation reminds me of the Hollywood teen flicks where the Geeks get sucked into nasty pranks by students of the ‘upper echelon’. Of course, this never existed in my time at Smithfield High – at least not to my knowledge or in my personal experience. Erica actually lived in Freshwater and had attended the same primary school as us anyway. I suppose in my eyes she ‘fell in’ with the ‘right people’ once we began high school.]

Wednesday 18/9/85

Quite boring today actually. Ate quite more than I used to (ie when I cut out snacks) In other words I had a big snack this arvy which was NOT NECESSARY. [passive-aggressive self reprimand?] What’ll I wear to the free dress day? I have no clue at all. Shorts? Wot? Went to art room at lunch & finished off my work there. Then went back to L Block & started ach.[achievement] test. Art test tomorrow & maths extension. (Wanna get a hair cut, too.) Got maths back yesterday & guess – 26½/30. I couldn’t BELIEVE IT! Still I deserved it cos I studied. English however 6½/10 & 5½/10 for english response. Umah. Today’s BP test (exam) was easy but I didn’t study enough theory, I don’t think. Am bugared. Nite!

Thursday 19/9/85

Got 61/65 for BP & Art I found stupid but once I started I felt quite pleased with the results. Maths extension test was easy, but I’ve made careless mistakes set. mark is 20-22/30. Went & got hair cut (is much better – keeps out of my eyes) and after went to KMart; found nothing so went to Earlville. Got a great new purple (mauve) skirt & top (earrings too) for $30. Almost lost $20. Almost lost suit to another woman – who picked it up after I tried it on – luckily she didn’t buy it. Went back to KMart to see Dad. (selling tickets) Went home. Have to have my camp menu in tomorrow. I quickly wrote out my choices 2nite but will probably change. Teachers are only going to refrigerate our meat, so I might have to buy a mini eski for my salad, milk, cheese, butter, yogurt & poppers. Also Asked Mr Carter. if I could swap into group 2 said no. I don’t mind. Gotta go to sleep now.

Friday 20/9/85

Rode slowly (I thought) but still beat the buses. Did no work; was a total BLUDGE! Almost wagged german but sprung by Bancroft (lied & got out of it). Art exam 8½/10 Maths 28/30 Excellent! I freaked! Riding home, Erica & Adrienne went to Smithfield Heights to see a friend said they’d catch up to us. Didn’t tho’. I left Fi at Railway Stn, went to shop & bought lollies. Nana came round. She left & we went to Mandy’s. Heath talks a lot now & Matthew is so big. Night at home. Just watching TV. Going to town tomorrow.

Saturday 21/9/85

Doesn’t even feel like the holidays! Went to town with Justine & Kim (her braces are off – looks nice!!) when I got on bus, sat next to Erica and talked to her until Kim got on. In town walked around – I tried on togs & found a really nice pair of white ones which actually “strengthened” my figure. Didn’t look at the price. Pigged out at Sunny Oven Bakery – had a huge slice of Vanilla slice. [I always seemed to go the vanilla slice. I think it’s because I’ve always had a ‘thing’ for custard.] At home – quickly changed & rode to Justine’s. We sunbaked for a little while, then swam, had lunch (watched grandstand – they all taught me the rules etc.) [Not sure what that was, but have a feeling it was something to do with Australian Rules Football, which was foreign to most Queenslanders. Queensland was – and still is so far as I know – a ‘Rugby League state’ in terms of football codes] & swam again. Rode home. People here. Thought they’d stay for tea but didn’t. Is now 12:50. Just finished Trivial Pursuit I WON for once!! YAY!! Mima works in Kaffa – we saw her. She asked me if I was going to the INXS concert. told her I might & she said “well ring me cos no one else wants to go. THAT’S A CHANGE. huh?!! [I clearly held the perception that I wasn’t an important figure in her life, and that in a respect she was of an upper class socially as well – even though she attended a different school. I think I had always ‘idolised’ her, despite having been friends with her for almost a decade by this stage!] doesn’t even feel like the hol’s – YES it does!

Sunday 22/9/85

Today I did nothing – mostly I read the play book nana gave me, watched a little TV & cont’d writing out my 1984 Diary. Dunno if I’ll fit it in the book. [I did!] Ate little, but quite frequently & it was choccy buscuits or smarties or ice cream etc which is terrible. Did I tell you when I was in town yesterday I tried on some white togs which really looked good? Forgot to look at price. There was a blue pair cut legs up to waist made my torso & stomach look lovely but not my legs. [Oh the 80’s! High, high cut gym and swimwear, but low-slung & drop-waisted clothing!] Gonna work tomorrow. Played Triv. Pursuit (T.P.) again. Not too late 2night. Every time I write in this diary (or any) I feel it my duty to fill each page up. I do alright huh?!! In fact, I need more room – [Not wrong there. Almost every entry spills over onto the next day’s space, which in turn pushes the next day’s on, and so on. This transcription involves a fair bit of page-turning.]

Subject Choices, Exams & Equal Pay (9-15 September)

Published on September 9, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 9/9/85

Soooo tired today. Couldn’t stop yawning. 1st, 2nd & 3rd periods were spent with approximately 150 other YR10’s in L1 & 2 making subject choices, counting numbers etc, that was boring & uncomfortable since Justine wanted to share my chair with her big bum. Fiona left at Big Lunch for the Doctors. Beka missed ¾ maths at guidance officer & (Lucy was away) Anna went home with her mum so Julia sat next to me on the bus. Asked Mrs Stevensen about Accounting. She’s pleased I’m continuing. [That’s right! I’d totally forgotten I had considered becoming an Accountant. Oh how glad I am that that idea left me. I’d never have kept up with the most complex tax system in the world…or would have died of boredom first?] My final choice would have been 7 subjects: Maths I & II, English, Bio, Chem, Art & Accounting. Can’t have 7 tho. I’ll haft drop Maths II I think.

Tuesday 10/9/85

Didn’t get English done, so didn’t get it handed in…. not that it mattered cos’ Mr Van didn’t demand it. Got upset (very) this arvy trying to do it. English exam tomorrow, so won’t have to hand it in then either. German was quite easy. Think I’ve done well. Riding tomorrow – going to the beach for an hour in PES (lunch & 6th period.) 7 of us – Just, Beka, Fi, Sharon D. & Kim (& me) We’ll run late I reckon. Late night. Just watched last part of “princess Daisy”. Happy ending. Is 10:30 nite nite!

Wednesday 11/9/85

English test was hard. I am bugared. Mum went to National Trust Meeting. I felt like going, too. Stupid me! There was nowhere to go to sleep. Today at the beach was fun – but hardly long enough. Got a little pink on the face – full stop. Didn’t miss any History (pity) cos got back earlier than expected. Most of us had showers. I have a headache. The ride to school was good & so was it on the way home, however Justine & Kim were so slow. Along Lower Freshy I dropped from first to last. My knees were about to give way. I was quite pooped. Kim & Justine came in for a drink & to see the House. Mum likes Kim. [why wouldn’t she?!] Still haven’t done my English poem. He’ll kill me.

Thursday 12/9/85

Boy, was I dog-tired today. Mr Van didn’t say anything in english (thank God) but we read from poetry books instead. I actually did it this arvy!! [Assuming ‘it’ is the poem I’d hitherto been unable to verse] (I had to use a poem, y’know change the words [er, isn’t that called plagiarism Liss?]… will fix up grammar in the morning ‘n’ write it out at school. Is 9:30. Have just finished revising maths. I will be confident!! I hope! Got 28/30 for Ger. writing & 14/15 reading. Did listening test today. Am gonna dad’s Saturday night cos’ mum’s going to Townsville. Will work with dad stay the night & come home on Sunday.

Friday 13/9/85

Didn’t do too bad in maths test – but made careless errors. Know I don’t have full marks – prob’ly 26 /no! Won’t get my hopes up – say, hopefully around 22/30 more (I hope) but… in german got 11/15 for listening, so my total out of 60 is 53. Quite good! Have now (next week) only BP, Maths (anudda one) & practical art tests left. Must study a lot this weekend. Got a fair amount of HW done. Mr Howard said he thinks I’d cope with doing Chem & Bio (I forgot to bring my selection sheet back today – big trouble!!….) It’s now a toss up between Chem & Economics. – I dunno. Oh shit! Mum won’t be here in the morning – Hope we’re awake in time for dad.

Saturday 14/9/85

Mum left quite late this morning. I was too tired to wave goodbye. [This ‘waving goodbye’ is a family ‘tradition’ of ours. I think it was borne of an old courtesy, something like seeing someone to the door, but also – and especially within the family circle – being about sending love…as if there was the possibility that it could be the last time you’d ever see them again. It’s not a habit I have kept to the same extent as my father, mother & sister, who often stand right outside and wave until you pull away in your car (or sometimes until you are out of sight!). I’ll walk you to the door or the gate but I will turn and head back inside after the final wave or parting word.] I woke again at 7:00. Packed etc (made beds) Dad was late. At work did hardly anything but earned $20. Had to work with Jacki, see she worked when she felt like it & when she stopped I had to otherwise I would’ve done more than her and only been paid the same amount. [My sense of fairness has always been strong.] Ended up that she wasn’t (measuring the stuff out) properly. At flat, watched TV, scratched “BP” petrol cards 251 of them! Had a late tea – late nite – we played Trivial pursuit. Julia shitty – she’s homesick. thinks dad’s ignoring her. I Ate too much. Jaqui went out. Anthony bombed out. Slept restlessly.

Sunday 15/9/85

Woke last night briefly when Jackie came home probably 3-4:00 in the morning. I dunno. Everyone slept in. I read (started to read) a book. Had 2 pieces toast & bacon for brekky at about 10:00 in the morning. Went home at 12:00. Stopped for a Frenzy met Gloria – Peta & Marney’s aunt. Still looks so young! Also saw P’s. They left as we came. Mrs P didn’t give me a 2nd look. Good. Stupid bitch (they all are.) [For those who haven’t been following these diaries for very long, the hostility expressed here derived from a ‘bullying’ incident in the past. See the post entitled “Bullying & a New Heart Throb”.] At home, didn’t study at all. Had a water fight with Jules then sunbaked (unsuccessfully) Nana came over. Watched TV. She was reluctant to leave us on our own. Wen she went – I had a bath – began shaving; power went off. Came back on just as I’d dragged out the lamp (& found it had no batteries anyway) Had tinned dinner. Mum came home 7:15. (Nana rang before that to check on us. Must admit I did get a little worried for awhile – but that’s just my Cancerian nature!) [My grandmother was also Cancerian, so her over-protectiveness stemmed from her ‘natural’ propensity to worry as well.] Late-ish nite 9:30. Last week this WEEK! YO!

Ringing Ears & Pastels, Paint ‘n’ Paper Maché (22-28 July)

Published on July 22, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 22/7/85

My english was a flop! Full stop! BUT!! My maths was a supa-dupa flop – I know I definately have less than 22/30 cos I didn’t (couldn’t) do 2 sums worth 4 marks each & also know I made a silly little error in a sum worth 1 m. Laughed at aerobics. Suddenly everything was so funny. Didn’t get to tell Anna to tell steven sorry about the show (Lucy, that is). Didn’t summon up the courage. [Thank God! How silly…] Am going to the concert tomorrow night! MEN AT WORK and KIDS IN THE KITCHEN!! WOW!! the best we’ll get up here!!

Tuesday 23/7/85

CONCERT WAS GREAT!! We got up the front – front row!! Numbers were disappointing too, though. Could tell the bands thought so. I really enjoyed it!! Am bugared, now. Gotta go to sleep quickly so I wake at 6:30 (Am riding to school tomorrow) But I don’t know for sure if Fi & Beka are. Justine isn’t. She-it! My ears are still ringing – sounds like a continuous note on an electric organ!! or synthesizer. Was hot at concert, while bands were on. Sweaty in the armpits. [Hahaha, I love this phrase. It’s not the first time I used it, nor the last.] Athletics Carnival started today (cos’ all the events won’t fit in one special day

Wednesday 24/7/85

Am stuffed. No joke – today I almost fell asleep in english! He [the teacher] was talking & I couldn’t remember a thing!! National Trust meeting so I’m only gonna get 6-7 hrs sleep tonight, too. Have a science test tomorrow – watch me fail that. Upset about maths. I have realized just how much I’ve dropped. I can’t ‘pick-up’ anything. What we learnt (in period 7) today, I couldn’t remember at 4:30-5:00 this arvy. I might need a tutor (but even the thought makes me feel embarrassed & angry.) I’m not dumb enuff! [Yes, that was the belief back in the day, that tutors were only for ‘dummies’. I am well aware that tutors are now valued by students of all intellectual shapes & sizes.] Anna went on a music camp 2day

Thursday 25/7/85

Another latenight tonight cos’ we minded Ben & Trent & they bought round Trivial Pursuit Is now 10:50!! Got maths back. I really did bad 19/30. And equally as upsetting was my english essay 12/20. (considering I’m normally a HA-VHA.) Am tired. Know I’ll be bugared tomorrow. Bluelight is on Saturday. Don’t think I’ll go – got nothing to wear. I’ll stay home & have a relaxing weekend, might catch up on some study. [Bahaha] Wonder what Fiona will say! Probably forget about me anyway. That’s usual. Cold is going now. Won’t tell anyone that I’m not going otherwise it’ll get back to Fiona & she’ll ACT “upset”

Friday 26/7/85

Today was a bad luck day!! (Although Mrs Anderson [my art teacher] wasn’t here, so I took my figure home to work on, for the weekend.) In art, I dropped a box of pastels & they almost broke in half!! Skint! And with the red paint, it would come out the specially punctured hole – so I pressed hard and the lid popped off – a great big glob of paint the size of my palm landed on my palate (of paint) And I was pointing out Gary B (who Julia now likes) & this toughie YR 9 – Emily – thought I was saying something about her so gave me a real dirty look Skint!! Geoff bought Trivial Pursuit!! stayed up till 1:30!!

Saturday 27/7/85

Today did mostly HW today. Played Trivial Pursuit when we woke up. (Mum went down to the shop, so I gave her money to buy a block of fruit & nut chocolate which I ended up eating this morning) My history HW bored me so I didn’t finish it. Tomorrow I will spend on my art. I must shape it’s forearms, ankles & calves, and head & neck, then put hair on it. [I vaguely remember making this paper maché ‘model’] Then maybe, I can sit down at the sewing machine & make some baby clothes – I’ve just discovered the ease of using it again & have an urge to sew!! [Why baby clothes?!?!?] Playing Trivial Pursuit now. Will not have such a late nite 2nite. Got only 6½ hrs sleep last night! // was cranky & tired today [Any wonder, consuming that mass of sugar & trans fats early in the day?]

Sunday 28/7/85

Another late night last night. Geoff came & played Trivial Pursuit (Julia was at Bluelight) & his game with mum was so short that I thought I’d play the next one. It took 2 hrs, I think. Today I worked on my art figure – glued on more newspaper & hey presto!! It’s head looks normal! Filed away bumps & painted it again. Also stuck on thin brown wool for hair – looks great now! Only have to put a face on it. Petra came round I ate quite little believe it or not!! Thank God skool again! I mean, I like the routine – nothing else!!!!!!!!

Black Tights & Exploding Bubblegum (10-16 June)

Published on June 30, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 10/6/85 [Queen’s Birthday Holiday]

Got all my history exams questions done. It took all day, however. Had a little trouble with maths. English & History exams tomorrow, though. My neck is out. Boring study today. ate little, but wot it was, was fattening. Is late; 9:30. Must go to bed, now. Don’t wanna run late tomorrow. Weather is getting warmer again, too. Wind has dropped a little, too. Julia had trouble studying, I tried to help her – but being stubborn, & couldn’t penetrate her skull. the dry patches on my skin are healing up! I think.

Tuesday 11/6/85

English was a stuff-up. Totally mucked up!! History I was surprised how quickly I got it done, but I’m sure I’ve dropped in my ability to express myself correctly. Today was a ‘bad omen’. Anna has lost ½ tooth in her bottom row. Jay plugged a cockshuttle [!] (shuttlecock, I mean.) and it hit her in the jaw. The tooth ‘snapped’ & lodged in the gum of her tongue (underneath) Pain!! She got the nerve covered but has to wait till Monday for a cap!! OUCH. Weather warming up. Is 8:45. Must study. Am bugared too.Last exam day tomorrow. Wore my hair different today looks nicer

Wednesday 12/6/85

German-Ha!, Art Ha! Ha! and maths – Ha! Ha! Ha! Ge-stuffed day to-day! [‘Ge-stuffed’ = me taking the piss out of the German language] Rushed through maths didn’t do 3 sums. Our speech concert is on a Sunday – I think this weekend I need a pair of black tights cos our costume is a tuxedo jacket, white shirt & bow tie (with the tights.) Barely see Tim anymore. Anyhow, thinking about meeting Steven B!! Could be good! [After hearing the ‘Looks are everything’ attitude? How soon we forget.] Movie is on now. Might watch it cos’ my EXAMS ARE OVER! Will do my history assignment all day tomorrow. Want to ride to skool again, soon. I’m tired! Anna’s got a dog bite on her bum now, too (bad luck, eh?) It was that really pesky dog next to McI’s. Walking down the road it charged out & Polly ran – Anna stood still like you’re s’posed to but it bit straight through her skirt & knickers (leaving no holes in material, just skin)

Thursday 13/6/85

Got ½ a page of my history assignment done & I had 3 spare periods (ie the whole day!) I just couldn’t concentrate! This arvy I got off at Fi’s stop cos’ I thought mima wanted me to, but she just wanted to ask if Lucy was at school again!! Anyway, we went to the school (Freshy) and met Sandra, Lynette & Julie for a game of volleyball (Jemima’s found herself a volleyball.) Was fun!! Laughed so much!! Left around 5:30. Watched TV all night. Haven’t done anymore History assignment either. Wanna watch Mike Walsh show…….

Friday 14/6/85

Maths is bad… I mean, not too bad, but I can let accounting go down the drain. [That’s right! I totally forgot I’d considered Accounting as another potential career path. I think because I loved money, balance and simple mathematics. Knowing accountants now I realise – at least in the Australian tax system – it’s NOT that simple.] 45½/70 ISN’T THAT DISGUSTING?? However, English made up 4 it 8¼/10. Overall % = 82.5. History 35½/50 (Fi failed History 19/50) Geez, I feel sorry for her. German I got 42/55 – not too bad!! & so far, in BP, I have 8½ marks off (she hasn’t finished marking.) Got off at mima’s today. Went to the shop, then to Mrs McI’s to discuss speech. Lucy was at school for a little while, today. I told her everything. [What is this ‘everything’? I really hope it wasn’t about Steven’s ‘rejection’ based on ‘looks’] From shop, we bought this ‘magic bubble gum’ which EXPLODES in your mouth!! SNAP POP CRACKLE. Went to dinner at a restaurant. Was sooo tired & bored. Stared out the window

Saturday 15/6/85

Ate sooo much!! Was cool. Went to K-Mart in the morning to get black aerobic tights for the speech concert. Also got a sketch book & some tampons. Wasted day. Drew. Did a bit of History assignment. WILL finish it tomorrow. Am watching the movie “10” with Bo Derek. Is so funny!! My hair has gone straight again, now. Few little waves But I used that Henna conditioner, & dried it; scrunched up. IS curly again!! But will probably straighten out when I wake up & brush it tomorrow. [So don’t ‘brush’ it.] Last night & the night before, both my dreams had something to do with skool. Last night’s was about me going with Steven B!! I don’t even know what he looks like!

Sunday 16/6/85

Today was another waste of time. I woke early and simply wasted all morning reading the Sunday papers. (Had 1 really big breakky, too) After small lunch, I did a bit more history assignment, but started to get ready 4 speech concert when mima rang. She rode here, then we left & met Fi at the school. IT was FUN!! Shameful [sure I meant embarrassing, not actually shameful] at times, I s’pose, but fun!! Went home after, (then Mima, Fi & Lucy went) & watched countdown. After looonnngg bath, watched TV. Haven’t done anymore History assignment! (So much for getting it done on Friday arvy. Mr V.S. always gives extensions anyway.