procrastination – Page 2 – A Life in Words

A ‘Bizarre Love Triangle’ at the Fete (8-14 September)

Published on September 8, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 8/9/86

Well quite a few people (I think; Donna, Sandie, Monique, Mima, Fiona, Sharon, Tania, Heather, Linda, Tanja, Judy & Rebecca G – that’s all I think) know about Phillip C liking me. And of those who know/have seen him, all reckon he’s cute – some say gorgeous – best bod! Lifesaver! Swimmer! Wow. But mima told me that Melinda B reckons Peter H was at Phillip’s place on Sunday; meaning he rang from there. SHAME!! But I still love Mark. But he obviously (??) likes Nicole… Cameron & Judy rubbed it in today. Cameron in chemistry said “Did you go with the others to the Playpen?” “No” went to the movies” – “Oh, we went to Nicoles.” Fine, Cameron – that’s just great. What’m I s’posed to say? Then Judy at the busstop reckons “Have you seen Nicole’s love bite? Can’t miss it – big purple mark all over her neck and shoulder.” Double fine, huh? You bastard Mark. You’ve got to love me. Please. I want you more than anything. [Ugh, desperation! With hindsight I have to say this whole infatuation experience was a HUGE ‘life lesson’ I did finally learn from.] I’m tired. Bin studying for maths Ha! Got chem mark back 11½/15 – I passed by lots!! Wow!! Bludge day.

Tuesday 9/9/86

A Life in Words — The Boland Centre was built in 1912 & showcased the department store *David Jones* right up until 1984

I won’t get to see what Phillip looks like until tomorrow; CAD (& selected Yr 11 & 12 art students – including Mark) are going walking around town during recreation time looking for people to do their windows for Fun In the Sun. Monique Sandie, me & Donna got the best block; Boland Centre, Rockmans, cominos arcade. Wo! Rage! (But I really wanted to go swimming so I could perve on Master C. Oh well! I still like Mark, but I don’t feel as depressed as before (I guess this matter with Phil has boosted my self-confidence somewhat) I’m watching a mini-series (Part 1) at the moment; it’s 9:55. Will probably get to bed around 11:30. Didn’t ride today. Maths exam I failed that’s all I have to say – I’m glad I learnt my content – that might’ve helped. HOPE Dunno if I’m riding tomorrow or not. Want to sleep in. Fun tomorrow I hope. Started doing some speech HW – unbelievable! Exam next Thurs.

Wednesday 10/9/86

Mima & I rode today (Adam, too) Didn’t get any test results back (i.e. Maths or English) At big lunch, Donna & I rode to City Place. We walked down to metropolitan building society so she could get money out then to Monique & Sandie (& Ms Marsland) for instructions about getting “clients”. All four of us had the best block to cover; the Boland centre one. It took longer than most others. Lots weren’t interested in us painting/decorating their windows – but there were still fair few who would “get back to us”. [Ha!] After, rode back to school, picked up my bag & waited for mima. I left & rode home on my own at 3:05 – quite impatient, then after speech when we were talking she said she got to school at 3:20 – lucky I didn’t wait – long time! But at speech asked Megan if she knew P.C. – she said “Yeah” I said what do you think of him? She said “pretty cute” & that one of her friends was flipped over him. That makes me feel really great. Someone who lotsa girls like & he likes me!! 10:40.

Thursday 11/9/86

Rode again. Got my haircut, too – (“much”) shorter on the left side. It feels much better. Rode really slowly esp. on the way home: stopped & pigged out, let the buses pass us. (Forgot about Saints) [Phillip was a ‘Saints’ boy, so I suppose I thought he might be on that bus and I could have caught a glimpse… had I not forgotten] Got maths & english marks back I PASSED MATHS!! I had thought without a doubt that I’d have failed but I passed!! 17½/30!! Great! [Great? It’s funny how my attitude towards schoolwork changed when I moved to Cairns High. At my primary school and during my junior High years at Smithfield, barely passing would have crushed me.] And english I thought I failed – but I did better than last semester! 8/10!! Wo! Great day! I think I’m gonna hafta forget Mark I only wish what I see & believe to be was true. I wish. But I’m also extremely curious to see Phillip C too. Fete tomorrow! That will decide!! I think. And Mark will be there too. He doesn’t talk or even look at me anymore. Probably hates my guts. Why, though? Bastard. I love him so much tho [Haha, these mental processes smack of schizophrenia!] 9:55. get some sleep late nite tomorrow. Did no HW again. Terrible bloody habit.

Friday 12/9/86

I’m dead. And kinda depressed. It’s just after 12:00. I saw Phil; Peter came up and was talking. How embarrassing – what could I say or do? I felt sick. [Nerves] (He (Phil) was cute/gorgeous, but it’s made no impact on me. I’m still hopelessly devoted to Mark, who I’m sure doesn’t like me) [I know this reaction is based in Fear: “better the Devil you know” is an extremely apt expression in this case] Oh, I even danced with him (& Fiona & Keith & Justine) but that was it. A pity. I do like him so much. I wore my new blue shirt which I got at lunchtime today (walked to town with Sandie and Monique) & blue & white striped skirt (found out they were the perfect match (in colour) UNBELIEVABLE!!) No HW except english & speech this weekend and I intend to get them done speech exam next Thursday. SHIT. Fete itself was boring – dance was OK. Tired. I feel terrible. I ignored Phil all night & moped around after Mark. Why am I such a loser? [No comment!]

Saturday 13/9/86

Did nothing constructive, except get my periods, today. [LOL and that’s constructive HOW? If anything menstruation is about DEconstruction] I am ashamed [because I didn’t do→]: I have 3 english assignments due this friday a speech theory exam this Thursday, a biology exam this Tuesday and a trial-run speech exam tomorrow. And the best thing I did today was to read up all about star signs.. [best?] otherwise I watched TV or read…. Was extremely depressed this morning, thinking about last night. Y’know how we were all dancing together ..well I think – I’m sure I dreamt that Mark said “Remember this?” to me as True Colours was played. Yes it must have been a dream cos they didn’t play that …or did they? Anyway, I can’t even remember what Phil looks like now, except his blue eyes (gorgeous) Rang Fi tonight – talking about Mark & etc. I think I’ll have to be content with being his friend & working my way up (???) from there. Just watched a movie. Is 11:45. Had a terribly dull day – it was gorgeous weather. Wonder if Mark’s at Lenora’s party??

Sunday 14/9/86

11:06. I just watched Superman III on TV. At speech this morning, Megan, mima & I talked (& laughed) a fair bit so our exams took a bit longer than 2hrs – probably about 2½ or 3. Anyway, I ended up doing it out of my notes.. I didn’t know a thing. (I rode up) at home I watched a little TV, did assignment work, listened to music & read. Petra (& Amanda for a while) came up. I like it when Petra’s here. We talk (I told them all about the night I was with Mark) Brings back memories. I long for another kiss (or 10) like those he gave me that night. Yum!! (Not really romantic tho’) I wonder if I’m a good kisser? Ha Ha god I say some stupid things! [Oh yes. Yes you do.] Anyway another fuitless weekend – only wrote about one paragraph more on one eng. assign. Have 2½ english assignments to do. God help me. Mark won’t be at school tomorrow or Tuesday – Geography excursions.

Bugs, Broken Bones, Bitching & the Commonwealth Games (21-27 July)

Published on July 21, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 21/7/86

Oh! It’s (almost) 9:15 and I’ve just done about ¾ page of my english assignment. I must get a move on (it’s obvious I won’t get it done for tomorrow, even though it was due today.) We’re riding tomorrow, too!! Goody! I love riding. Boring day, really. Almost fell asleep in doub. chem. almost fell asleep in trip. art and almost fell asleep in maths (Nah! I was laughing in maths) Cameron’s so nice. I’m really, really truly glad he is my great friend. Did no other HW tonight (am getting way behind in maths; I just don’t understand it.) Lotsa bugs around [we didn’t have flyscreens on our windows or doors: louvres are hard to fit and french doors lose their charm if you try to fix screen doors to them. Plus, we probably couldn’t afford them] and … it’s quite warm tonight (hold it, I’ll open some windows, I think!!) Believe it or not Trish said hello to me today. Why she being so nice?? [why not?] mima was away – got a wog. [While in Australian slang the word ‘wog’ is a derogatory term for generally southern Europeans, it is also used to describe illness, like she got a ‘bug’] don’t really feel like saying I love mark cos do I??

Tuesday 22/7/86

I laughed a lot today. In Bio, Chris (K) was telling Donna & I all about Cameron’s accidents… he is so accident-prone! Broken bones, cuts & abrasions… car accidents you name it; he’s had it!! And laughing in maths, too!! Funneeee!! I really don’t think I love Mark. I look at him (when I can) but I think that’s all it is – I just think he’s gorgeous. I mean, I don’t feel for him I suppose my feelings could change if ‘something’ happened (when?) I could get properly interested in him, but at the moment, I’m not. Brent was teasing me about it in front of a whole lot of people at lunch time today. Did little HW today but I’m stayin home tomorrow!! Sports Carnival is on (mima & fi are too) I’ve got heaps HW to do → esp. speech. mima told me this morning when we were riding to school that our speech exam has been put forward. We now have 3 weeks to go. SHIT!!

Wednesday 23/7/86

Boy am I tired!! “Mistral’s daughter” finished about 11:30 I slept in though! (I stayed home!!) At speech, mima said she’d tried to ring me but the answering machine was on. I was home, too. Oh well!! (I am very far behind in speech. Didn’t get any done today – I was doing my english. Come to think of it, I got very little of that done too!! – But I did a lot more tonight.) I still have maths to catch up on. Oh woe is me. wedding (Royal one) [Prince Andrew getting hitched to Sarah Ferguson] was on. Watched parts of it while I did my english. Am bloody tired. Could not get my eyes open all this morning!! Took me about 3 or 4 hours to wake up!! Bloody bugs all over the place. Is 11:15. Another late night (SHIT)

Thursday 24/7/86

I’ve come to a definite conclusion. I don’t ‘like’ Mark anymore. Sure, he’s still the most gorgeous hunk, but I don’t really care what happens to him. I mean, he could have made an attempt (he has in the past) but he’s too shy (I’m really one to speak, huh??!!) To begin with, if he likes me so much, why fuck Tricia? [1. He’s attracted to her] And even if he did go with her after it to make her feel ‘respectable’, why has it been 2 weeks? Why didn’t he drop her after 1?? [Clearly it’s not just ‘obligation’] He’s stupid. Does he really think I’d like him after he did that? What a dickhead. [Oh the Green Monster.. it’s ugly isn’t it?] Anyway, I got my assignment (english) done but didn’t hand it in. Will tomorrow. Bio exam tomorrow, 1st period. Cheat!!! [Cheat? That’s not like me!] Is 9:40. Will I get to sleep early tonite??? Rode again today. I love it!!

Friday 25/7/86

I am so tired (watching Commonwealth Games at the moment) Ate a big dinner. Err…!!! In Biol, (we didn’t have our exam as Mr Short was away) our relief teacher gave us all these logic (etc) problems. Was fun. At the end we were doing anagrams, & I got one right, and Duane (Dwain!!) said something to embarrass me (it worked) – (all the guys were sitting near, too!) Donna reckons “guess who was looking at you and smiling?” I said, “I don’t care”, but I had the biggest smile on my face!! Otherwise, a boring day. Nothing fantastic happened at all. The news is on now. I think I’ll go to bed now. I am tired. Not working tomorrow. Don’t feel like it. Lucy’s birthday in 4 days. What’ll I do for her?? Ring her?? Or send something?? I wish, wish, wish Mark cared about me so much that… that he wouldn’t hurt me so. [haha, so fickle! Thought you didn’t care?!] 9:35

Saturday 26/7/86

I did very little of everything today; except eat. I pigged out so ‘severely’! And I wonder why I’m fat (or at least, bulgy) Oh well! Watched TV, did bitta HW (have left maths & english for tomorrow) Am tired – Is 10:10 Comm. Wealth Games are on (Australia leading in medal tally so far!! 6 gold!!! Yay!!!) Dunno if I’ll go to bed yet, or not… I’m tired but I can sleep in (or can I?? I didn’t this morning) Wish things were like they were before. Before I found out Mark liked me; before Sharon knew I liked him. Now, it’s useless. We both know & are both too shy. It’s not fair. Not fair. Oh well…. life MUST go on. 10:20 now. Oh. (winge, whine) why does Mark have to be such a jerk?????????????? [Oh my GOD… never satisfied!]

Sunday 27/7/86

Ha Ha Ha. What a bludge. Yes, you guessed it; I did next to nothing constructive except PIG OUT yet again. I can’t believe how much I eat. Went to visit Nana again (we went Friday night, too→ she’s in hospital again – she stopped taking all her tablets cos they were making her sick and got a bad [rheumatoid] arthritis attack again. Poor nin) [‘Nin’ was a nickname we had for our Nana] Boring! Watched Comm. Games ‘Hi lives’ again this morning & are watching live now. Aust has won 5/10 possible golds in swimming so far. Excellent huh?!!! Want a reasonably early night. Is 9:30 now. Probly get to bed around 10:00. Am a bit hot, too. Did only a bit of maths HW today. Thank god for school!! (Started to worry today, again, about my future after school→ it really frightens me. About Mark; well, I just wish it could be different. It won’t work.

An Emotional Rollercoaster & a Shitty Babysitting Experience (14-20 July)

Published on July 14, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 14/7/86

Everyone was talking about the party (or at least, the formal) “Everyone” did something on Saturday night. I feel so ‘depressed’. Donna said Mark was there & when I wondered if he was with anybody she said “I’m not saying anything”. But later said she “truly didn’t know” (Everyone was pissed) And Fiona & them had a great time at the formal (she got home 6:00 in the morning!) And Sharon gave me my present (as did Sandy & Monique) and talked to me again. Nothing has been said about ‘it’. We’re buddies again (…) And Fiona, Jemima, Brent & guess who …Cameron are going to the show together. How more depressing. I’ll go with Sharon & probably never “see” Mark . . . Oh, I’m so depressed. 9:45. School photos Blech. I am the tallest in our form Fuck it [Yep, I hated being tall. After all, it makes you stand out more. And I’m super-shy, remember?] I don’t think I like Mark anymore. I feel kind of “cheated”. [!!] It’d never work; we’re too shy And he probably doesn’t like me very much anyway. [So easy for me to fall into ‘despair’]

Tuesday 15/7/86

Boring Boring Boring . . I’ve decided I don’t care (very much) for Mark anymore . . . I probably really do (actually, I do) but I like people thinking “I’m crazy”. [okay. I don’t understand THAT] I’m tired. It’s 10:30. Things with him are in a different perspective now. Also, because mima & Brent wanted to go to the show on their own, Fi, Cameron & me (and Sharon & Adam G too, I s’pose) are going together (Gonna ask Fi to hint to Cameron about Mark…!! Ha Ha. Very funny. It’s raining. And it’s rather hot. might sleep in-the-nick tonight!! Probably not. Boring day. Did no (only Chem.) HW. Umah – I’m too lazy (and HOT) Bloody tired. Big black bags under my eyes, betcha!!! SHOW!! I love it!! Feel, in a way tho that I’m still intruding on Fiona & Cameron. Monique left at big lunch to go to Townsville for her ballet exams 2morrow. GOOD LUCK MONI! Feel Jemima’s not happy with me either OH WELL 8:45

Wednesday 16/7/86

Officially declared BAD DAY. (1) And most important … Mark is going out with Tricia D. I told you I knew he’d been with someone at the party… the problem is, he’s still with her. Why? What a bastard. This proves one of 3 things he either didn’t like me as much as everyone reckons, or if he did, he’s being bloody selfish in going out with Trisha just for [one reason] or (3) he’s trying to make me jealous (which is stupid & wouldn’t work anyway – I don’t get jealous – I’m sensitive – I get hurt) SO NOW I’ve plastered “Mark W; bastard” etc all over the place. [“All over the place” would have been in non-public places. I still wouldn’t want to burn my bridges…] Fuck him. I like Cameron. . he makes an effort to talk to me. And he’s funny & I’m going to the show with him. [?!!! but he’s not into you!] But I’m not gonna try’n’make Mark jealous. [psssh! ha ha ha] It’ll probably turn him off like he did to me (as you can see, I still care) And Donna did know .. she just didn’t want to hurt me.. (2) mima had a big fight with her mum & ran away but when I rang there around 8:15, she was home but in conference with her mum

[In the Notes section at the back of my diary, I added the following – as an ‘answer’ – to some thoughts I had penned a week or two earlier (nothing here is dated other than the month) when I was in a more positive frame of mind about Mark:]

Whoa, girlie!!! With all this about Tricia, you really can’t be so sure anymore. Could you ever trust this guy enough?? Is he the answer to your dreams? No? Yes? What are you??

Thursday 17/7/86

Now I don’t know what to think. (we rode to school late this morning: 8:15 & took it slowly..) mima was upset & Fiona went with her fo[r] console they missed Yr11 parade & ½ of pd 1. So Cameron sat next to me. We talked. Got onto Mark. I said something like “Dickhead” C: That’s not nice me: I know… C: He likes you… me: I’ve known that for a long time. He went on telling me about how he likes me, and is only going out with Trish cos he feels obligated [Omission of facts about others, here] Also.. I find out from Becca G that everybody knows I like Mark. [With hindsight it’s easy to condemn myself for being so naive..] Great, huh?!! Sharon is so unreliable. I know it was her, even tho she denied it. [..and then to blame someone else for something that would have been so easily perceived by others. She was also not the only person who knew…] Also Cameron rang about Fiona – he really likes her a lot & is worried about the show. I eventually convinced him to still go. Is 9:35…!!! I maths, Cameron & Chris told me how much they hate Sharon. So many people do. It’s unbelievable!! Cameron also knows everything about how I feel about Mark – I’ve “begged” him not to tell [Ha! Who’s his alliance likely to lie with, Elissa? You or his best mate?]

Friday 18/7/86

♥ It was alright!! (The show, that is…) Firstly, today I listened to music did a bit of HW and got ready. I was bloody excited… would Mark be there?? If so, with or without Tricia? Picked up everybody, swapped into cars at Monique’s and went. Big group… but soon Monique, Sandy, Chris & Glyn left. So Cameron, Fi, Sharon & Adam G, me (& mima and brent later on) went on everything [amusement park rides]. we (cameron, adam & I) stood off while the others went on the zipper [That ride – pictured right – was always my most feared. I think to this day, I’ve only ever been on it once]. Then he came … all night I wanted to see him, but was too shy to talk (or even look at him) Yes, Tricia was there, but at the end she wasn’t and we went on dodgems. (not him & I – all of us) And walked to the gates together. Mima told me the things he said about me. Mima: Isn’t Lissa gorgeous? Mark: (without hesitation; very hastily answering, determinedly) Yes! (And then Trish came. Gave mima very dirty looks all nite) Also ~~mima~~: cameron: where’s elissa? Mark (quickly) up there.. mima: keeping your eye on her. Mark: you bet.

Saturday 19/7/86

I will never babysit again in my life!! Screaming babies I just cannot hack. Don’t go telling me I’ll never be able to cope with children, tho… [I just don’t like loud noises in general…] we finally got her to lie down & she’s going to go to sleep I think. Poor kid; I understand how frightened she is. Mum (& her mum) are at a National Trust Dinner. I’ll scream if they’re too late. I wanted an early night in the first place. Fuck that. I did nothing today. I just didn’t know what to do (in the way of an english assignment… my maths is driving me up the wall) And, of course, my day wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t spend some time thinking about Mark!! It’s 8:50 now; god knows what time I’ll get to bed. I am bloody tired, too. Last night it was 12:05 when I turned off my lamp!!! I’m thinking a bit about Mark & me. I don’t think we’d be very good… to start with, we find it hard to talk to each other….what next?

Sunday 20/7/86

Got to sleep around 11:45…. that baby …oooh! We only managed to make her happy (& occupied) in the last 45 mins or so. Otherwise we ignored her & she cried (screamed) or (mostly) sat on the couch keeping quiet. She also shit herself & even when mum came home, we didn’t want to try & change her nappy in case she kicked up another stink (it was too late in the night for that) I fell asleep just after mum & julia had successfully changed her nappy & her parents came. [It’s no surprise that my sister assisted in the nappy-changing; she was and is very maternal. Me not so much. Obviously.] Today I did big fat NOTHING. I had maths & english but I did none of both. What a pisshead. I kept thinking “what will I do?” for my english ..I have no idea. So I haven’t even started. Mr G will have fun revving me tomorrow. Getta move on. Just watched the movie. Umah!! Is 10:45 My, my, my …. think a lot about Mark. Would it (us) work? Really?

Creativity Block & the Loss of a Sibling (2-8 June)

Published on June 2, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 2/6/86

And BIOLOGY? Well…. I don’t think so at all. The Questions were totally alien to me. I attempted all except 5. (parts of Q’s) Ha! Whadda flop. And I wasted this afternoon too. Caught the 12:00 bus & went to Jemima’s where I watched videos. Bludge waste. SHIT I am stupid. [No, just one helluva Procrastinator] And I’ve got my damn maths I [that’s Maths “1”] exam the day after tomorrow. Holy Hell. I am so tired. Will be absolutely ELATED when my exams are over (saw Mark today – 1st time in 3 days) Got a letter from Lucy (again) She must be really excited – I’ve received so many lately!! God I hate exams. 5 to 10 another late night. I’m gonna flop. OH SHIT. Caught the town bus in later this morning. Wonder if the others are gonna do it again tomorrow?? My art hasn’t been done yet either & I won’t get it done either Poop Damn Shit. I’m all fucked up.

Tuesday 3/6/86

English was fairly good, as was art but my biology prac. exam … Ha Ha Ha What a laugh (actually it’s not really) I am so stupid. I must have no brains. This will teach me. [Really? You really think so?] Next time I will (must) be prepared. Did a bit of maths tonight but I had to stop – I can’t believe how dumb I am. I can barely do any of it. [Comprehension issues. Can’t recall whether we were into Trigonometry at this stage or not. I didn’t mind Algebra so much but Trig …nuh. Never got it.] Stuffed. Boy will I be glad when tomorrow is over with. But then there’s the last week: getting my marks back. OH NO! (I’m thinking of working on Thursday & Friday as well as Saturday – I want to buy a new shirt or something for the dance next wednesday) Also that art problem is due Friday!! I was so worried→ everyone else had done theirs – I hadn’t. 9:37. Am gone wake earlier than the birds and work like hell.

Wednesday 4/6/86

NO MORE EXAMS! was all I could think about after my maths exam. Who gives a hoot if I failed? Most people did too so Ha! Went to mima’s again after – watched a movie, then went to the shop before speech. Pity. I won’t see Mark for a long time now – 5 days: and then after those 4 school days, for another fortnight or so. BOO HOO. Stuffed maths something severe. But everyone I asked (except Brent) left at least (Cameron McK) 5 Q’s blank – I left about 15 I think Ha Ha SHIT. Oh I’ll miss Mark. Just finished watching Lace II was pretty good! Still, I think I preferred Lace I. Is 10:30 and I can sleep in tomorrow YAY!!

Thursday 5/6/86

Well. Today was a bit of a big waste of time. I woke around 7:15, got a letter from Lucy, replied it & mum sent that. I spent the whole day at home. S’posed to do my art. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested; I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t know what to do at all. [Equivalent to Writer’s Block… is there a phrase for Artists’ lack of inspiration?] And I ate a lot. But I didn’t watch any TV till about 5:30. In fact I was quite bloody board. And amazingly enough, I thought about Mark one hell of a lot today more than I have before. Also read up on his starsign again. Still think we’d be a great pair→ but there are a few disagreeable things→ e.g. he’s s’posed to be STUBBORN. 9:41. And I feel an idiot. Can’t wait till this boring weekend finishes. [5days]

Friday 6/6/86

EAT. That’s practically all I did today too. Didn’t get my art in either. SHIT. Hafta see if she’ll take it on Tuesday. I had started at around 1:30 finally on a good copy (and it looks good so far) but when mum came at 2:30 to take me to school (to hand it in) I had not done anymore on it coz I was stuck. Now I still don’t know what to do. Poop. Anyway. I ate heaps in fact I’m totally disgusted with myself. Also Mark (& Cameron) would’ve left today for baseball in Mackay. Good LUCK! Not one day goes by when I don’t think of Mark. [It’s kind of interesting how all this stuff makes me vomit just a little in my mouth now. It’s not that I’m “hard as nails” now but I’m sure I’m not as ‘soggy’ as I was then.] 11:05. I am tired – movie was funny (kind of) Didn’t watch any TV again tho’ in the day. raining & windy still. I don’t mind→ at least it’s cold!!

Saturday 7/6/86

Boy am I tired. Went out tonight→ to Pizza Hut for tea, then to see “Crocodile Dundee” which, by the way, happens to be the best, funniest most entertaining movie out. I laughed my guts out!! Anyway we got home at 9:30 (early showing – no support movie or shorts) Is now 10:27 and I am stuffed. Today I ate again. Don’t know what’s come over me. Usually I have a ‘fair’ appetite but now I’m “glutton-ish”; eat everything in sight (practically) But I’m so tired. Went to town this morning. Julia spent her birthday money new shoes, beautiful knit jumper & small accessories. Lucky devil. I’d love to have spent $100 there (Sportsgirl) this morning. Pooped! Nite!

Sunday 8/6/86

I woke at 5:00 to mum’s cries of help. The light was on and in the laundry blood covered the floor. Mum was on the toilet. She was MISCARRYING. That was 5:00. By 7:00, she (had finally decided to go to hospital cos she was feeling weak) was in hospital. [Oh my god, the way that’s written it sounds as if she might have driven herself? No mention of an ambulance nor of someone else (Geoff?) taking her… and I can’t remember either. Driving herself would’ve been a huge risk if she was so weak. But mum being as independent as she was, nothing would surprise me.] Julia & I stayed home tidied up the remaining ‘mess’ fixed the house then amused ourselves till about 1:30, when Geoff came & took us to the hospital. Mum looks weak & ill, but she said she was fine but absolutely STARVED. (she was on a drip.) And she had to stay tonight because one surgeon in the whole hospital was there & so didn’t do it today. That’s pathetic. In a hospital that size there should be more than 1 surgeon. Geoff’s staying over (Had fish’n chips for tea) to mind us. Been one heck of a busy day. Only got 6hrs last nite. Lemme sleep now!! 8:35

Desk Dramas & Study Stress (26 May-1 June)

Published on May 26, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 26/5/86

My room’s such mess→ my new desk is still outside!! All my junk’s on the floor. Didn’t finish english essay. Did a bit of maths & a fair bit of chemistry→ can’t understand it.. Anyway, this Wednesday will be a good one: don’t do recreation! We’re gonna go and watch the soccer guys (Mark!♥) play their final. Great! Ate alot this arvy. Fi has a stye (on her eye, y’know). Bus was so full this arvy. Didn’t get a seat! (Till this girl got off on Sheridan Street) so I didn’t stand for long. 9:36. Am tired. Dunno if we’re riding or not (raining today) Could keep up all night. Talk to Cameron a lot lately. Today on way to school bus, in Chem & Maths & off the bus. Julia’s birthday in 4 days. What’ll I get her?

Tuesday 27/5/86

Piss day. Am not talking to mum & Julia. They’re bitches. Got the new desk into my room and is Fucken too big. I told her & she got all worked up. Then [she] tried to fix around everything makin the biggest fuckin mess you’ve ever seen, then cos I got aggro (wouldn’t you? [hmmm]) she left it for me to clean up. Fuckin mole. And Julia pokin her nose in Bitch – dumb bitch. Now she’s got it. Fuckin shit. Fuckin Fits in her fuckin room. I’ve got a fuckin mess in my room, nowhere to put all my junk. Fuckin stupid bitches. HATE THEM. [The bold typeface represents how hard I’d written these words in my diary: scrawled in anger.] Looking at Mark this morning & he looked at me. Skint. Yum Yum 9:15 HATE HER [Wow, big tanty, huge rant! I recently read somewhere that if you’re kids don’t say they hate you at least once, it means you’re not a good parent. This rant shows just how fantastic my mum was ♥ …or my wicked temper…]

Wednesday 28/5/86

Pregnant. 6 weeks. To Geoff. She told me yesterday. [oooookaaaay. That wouldn’t’ve gone down well. I wasn’t keen on mum’s boyfriend and a half-sibling would’ve further cemented his presence in our lives.] Kept up my “not talking” right up until she left for National Trust meeting. She asked about the calculator. [?] Now I talk a little, but am not affectionate. Speech was funny. Jemima really can’t wait to do it with Brent! They love each other a lot tho’ so I think it’s right. Didn’t watch soccer today. Pity – didn’t get to see Mark. Watched basketball instead. Dwain’s pretty kinda cute in his own way. Game was exciting. Did English assignment (really crappy) and started writing back to Lucy (got a letter from her today) Hafta finish soon. 11:00 now Still didn’t start study for Chem. That’s disgusting. Must

Thursday 29/5/86

Studying chemistry. I’ve done Ch 1, 2 & almost ½ of 3, so I’ve 4, 5 & 9 left and then I’ve gotta start doing practise questions or I’ll fail for sure. there’s so much I have to do and I’m just not going to get it done. Boy will I be glad when this one’s over!! Boring day. Really hard to tell whether Mark likes you or not. Some days you’ll think you’re in, others it looks like he’ll turn around and bite your head off. I don’t care, tho. I like him just the same! Finished my letter to Lucy at school→ worried someone would read it… did write more about Mark in it too. Also fi & mima said Hi. What’ll I do? I can’t fail chemistry. It’s so damned important to my TE score. [This refers to ‘Tertiary Entrance’ score; the rating used to determine the types of studies you would be eligible to apply for at universities. In the early 1990’s the ranking system was revised and the important ‘number’ became the ‘OP’, meaning ‘Overall Position’] Oh well.. 10:16. Am probably the only one awake in the house!

Friday 30/5/86

OH no. Oh yes! I’m sure I’ve failed. Piss. Was nowhere near finishing unit 3 revision (term 1) when mima rang. Mum came home just at the right time to give me a lift up there. I studied a little – Jemima and Fiona weren’t – they’d finished last night, so I couldn’t really concentrate. [Of course not!] Mrs D took us in at 11:30. Got a bit worked up when we got there, but actually in the exam, about 10 mins in, I relaxed a bit. When I think of it I think it was all right, but thinking more, I remember some of the troubles I had. Damn. Anyhow, that’s over with. Have 2 bio exams, art, maths and english to study for now. Oh dear! 11:00 – just moved desk back into my room, fixed up temporarily my stuff & threw out a lot of things (crap)

Saturday 31/5/86

Did no study at all today. Julia [it’s her birthday] got money, brekky in bed, a casket ticket, record, jewellery, voucher and other little things (including glass beads & safety pins → I got 4 no! 5 more friendship pins today!!) I tidied top all my drawers (my old school books & Dolly magazines & my drawers in my desk) And decorated Julia’s cake. And that was it. [Brilliant procrastination!] I could kick myself. I have to do Bio & Maths first tomorrow, then English & Art, then Bio & Maths again, if time allows & hopefully more art & english (doubt it) Cold weather – rainy, windy but I love it. Went out this morning too, to various places. Is 12:12 Went to Coles but didn’t see Mark→ did see the cute guy who helped me pick up the oranges, tho!! Am tired. ‘Moonraker‘ was just on TV James Bond 007

Sunday 1/6/86

I bludged today. But I got all my relevant biology notes done. I’m a little worried about english & more so for maths, but, I’ll wake early tomorrow and see what I can do. I’ll go home after biology exam & do english quotes & revision. Then write out my maths ‘theory’ and later in the night revise art. Before school I’ll read over my english notes, then at lunch I’ll read over art. [LOVE the planning. I still do this…but never manage to get it done as planned.] Should be right! (??I hope) Cheri M Petra & Amanda and Robyn B came around today [all my sister’s friends] (Petra & Cheri for the longest) Cheri’s nice – funny! Still really wet weather. little sun at all→ almost totally continuous rain today. 9:00 now. Am not gonna shave underarms or legs → gonna grow them, then get em waxed!

Noisy Neighbours & an Eyeful of Toothpaste (3-9 February)

Published on February 3, 2014 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 3/2/86

Art is hard. I’m not sure if I like it too much. We have to do a journal (just 2 people per week – this we[ek] me & Angela M) Ask people how they feel about being back at school etc taking Quotes. SHIT. [I’m shy – in case you have missed that along the way – so this kind of assignment would bother me not so much for the work involved, but simply for the fact that I’d have to talk to people…. people I didn’t know because I was brand new to the school.] Wrote 8 page detailed letter to Jodie & Mike about the cyclone. Got letter from Jodie & Fran today. Gonna write to Fran again, soon. Hot today. Bit sunny. Had some rain but Turning point was the ELECTRICITY CAME ON AT 8:26pm!! 2 days 5 hours without power. Gee! Riding tomorrow I think. Farting a lot. No smell. […in case you were wondering…] Is 9:57 (late.)

Tuesday 4/2/86

Riding – hot & sweaty but good!! Got to school at 8:10, but finally went to our area at 8:40 cos’ we’d spent the time on the oval waiting to cool down. Was bad!! Riding home, I “dropped” (lost) my 2 art pictures, they went under cars, bikes, but I got them back in a pretty good condition believe it or not!! Also got my Bio texts today which made my bag 50kgs heavier!! (OOH! Mozzies are bad) Had no English today – Great! Had no chemistry – BOO HOO! Got an ulcer on my tongue. Still have no idea what to do about this frigging journal for art. Stuffed shit. I talked to Neville today in art. Was funny (wierd) – for me at least. Is 10:03 – very late tonight!

Wednesday 5/2/86

HOT today. That’s why we need rain – its never that hot. I sat in the back seat today with Polly & Ruth/Judy ( / means they swapped ½ way) And Fiona (f) told me that Mark likes me & Neville doesn’t. (Don’t blame him) This art course is getting me more frustrated by the second – so much work – barely anything to do with ART. Hmph! Am boiling. Party next door – Fullers. Kids are playing spotlight or something – yelling soooo loud. SHIT is hot. Might have another shower before I hit the sack. Is 9:39. I need an early night, some time (soon) SHUT UP next door!! Night!

Thursday 6/2/86

It’s 9:27. I can never get an early night. It’ll probly take me an hour to get to sleep & I’m a bit sticky although it’s raining now + I Hope it doesn’t stop. this morning mima & fiona caught me by surprise – they appeared on their bikes. Luckily I was ready early. Today I found out 2 other guys who like me – both dark – one, the one who likes me the most, is ugly & yukky & I hate him. [Harsh!] Goes on our bus & is in my maths class. The other one’s okay looking but is a toughie – a jerk – a reject. Max temperature today was 36.6º STINKING HOT especially riding home & when I got home (believe it or not) Neville (was at Mark’s) Yelled hello & waved. I, naturally, a nice person, waved back & “Hi!”

Friday 7/2/86

I had a feeling today would be a bad day … it wasn’t. But it wasn’t fantastic either. I did no HW at all today. SHIT its hot. Wasn’t as bad today as it was yesterday. Our chemistry class is gonna be split on Monday. Betcha anything I’ll be separated from the main. Betcha. Christ it’s hot. Got my english contract for Sem. 1 – today & found out that stupid [art] journal is due today & not Mon. but she’s letting me hand it in then. I was the only one who got my 6 logos right today – Betcha people think I’m a pet or something. Is 11:06. Another late night I wish there was no school. Bores me shitless. I think all the hunks at CHS dislike me & all the dags do like me. I feel really lousy.

Saturday 8/2/86

You’ll never believe what I just did to myself. I was brushing my teeth, when on reflex, the brush flew out of my mouth and my reflexes shoved it into my eye!! I cacked myself (so did mum – not Geoff) [to ‘cack’ oneself is to laugh so hard one might soil one’s self] It looked so funny!! Although the toothpaste got in & began to sting a bit. FUNNEEE!!!! Am hot. Today I did no HW either. We went to help (to clean) Nana’s flat, from 10:00 to about 1:30. [I assume this is when she moved into the nursing home. She wasn’t ‘infirm’ – she just needed to be somewhere where she could receive assistance if she had any difficulties. The rheumatoid arthritis was beginning to erode her independence so she was placed into a ‘serviced apartment’ in the complex. She was still autonomous.] Was boring. At home I did nothing. I should have done my HW: I’m such a procrastinator. It’s only 8:34 now – I’m having an early night. D’you know, Fi, mim & I (& some others) put our names down for the school social committee yesterday?? I wonder if we’ll be organising a Valentine’s Dance??

Sunday 9/2/86

Today I woke at 8:37. I couldn’t believe I slept for 11hrs last night!! It’s great – there are no bags under my eyes!! (But I’ve just watched the movie – it’s 10:26 – so I’ll probly get them back) I did my HW after all, at around 10:30. Mim rang me then & asked if I’d like to ride to Trubok Pools so we could practise for the swimming carnival. It was perfect except that I had to see Dad off today. [I have no idea where he was going…and why it was necessary to “see him off”. One would expect it to be a lengthy or distant journey for this kind of ‘fanfare’.] So I refused. Dad came at 2:00. At the airport we sat in the bar with some Hash people. Said goodbye. Stayed with Hashers at bar, till Roger took us home at 4:00. I ate sooo much. Watched TV & finally finished my art journal – is really crappy!

Sinus, Class Photos & Lip Gloss (2-8 September)

Published on September 2, 2013 by Elissa Coxen2 Comments

Monday 2/9/85

Can’t wait for camp. Uh…yes I can … I still have lotsa weight to lose & a tan (an even tan) to get. I asked Fran about Adrienne McA – she thinks she’s in group 3. Anyhow, was warm today, went quickly (the day I mean.) Didn’t do much HW ie, did HW but didn’t study etc. Should start soon. Late night. 10:30 now. Watched “Clive James – At home.” the equivalent to Mike Walsh. Is funny!! Cold, now too. Want to sleep well. Mum’s not going to send that letter (good.) she feels better, just for writing it. Hopes it’ll blow over. [This is a good and yet a not-so-good thing. Avoiding unnecessary drama is definitely positive but ‘hoping’ something will ‘blow over’ is almost asking for trouble in the future. This is the perfect example of how my sister and I were (unconsciously) conditioned to become non-confrontational.] Cold is still bugging me → mum thinks it’s sinus. Probably. German dinner on 17th Sept. (Tuesday) AT Alpine Chalet. FUN!!

Tuesday 3/9/85

Gosh today went quick!! School photos – stupid!! The wind was blowing everyone’s hair back from their faces (- I took my plate out, of course!) which looked ridiculous & ugly! [Because it’s so attractive to have hair ON your face? I think what might have upset me more when I actually got this photo was the way the wind billowed my blouse, making me look either too buxom or worse; fat.] Laughed alot today (feel good for that.) also got my periods. Is supposed to be 11º C tonight – was cold last night (just as well I took that blanket to bed!) I’m all bundled up tonight! Am tired. Is 10:30. Watched new mini-series “Princess Daisy” is good I think. Last part next week. Fiona’s ringing me tomorrow to tell me if she feels like riding or not. Don’t know even if I’ll feel like it

Wednesday 4/9/85

Went to doctors. Dr D. prescribed some $15 drug in a spray pack for my nose. [‘Beconase’ was the corticosteroidal nasal spray I was prescribed. I have rather unpleasant memories of tasting it as the excess slid down the back of my throat from my nasal cavities.] Anytime I feel allergies etc It clams me up more. Even plain ole’ Drixine works betta, but he said it’d take more than a day so I s’pose I betta try it. My nose is so sore from blowing, & sticking nasal sprays up it. Poor me. Couldn’t start study cos’ I went to the doctor’s. Will 2morrow if possible. is supposed to be cold again tonight. Really want to save lotsa money, cos’ I got a big list. (Eg I wanna get me a swatch, mum one (for her birthday) & also a clothing gift voucher for her.) Ha!

Thursday 5/9/85

Still didn’t start study for maths. I didn’t know I was such a procrastinater!! I must do it & start soon. Ate alot today. Well, not a lot, but more than just 3 meals. See, nana came round & brought a small bun loaf which had icing & sparkles on it & I ….had….3 pieces. UMAH. So instead of studying I went to the park to try’n’work it off. Neck sore today. has been quite lately. In History it ached cos’ an Aboriginal man (58 yrs old & not one wrinkle) talked to us about life in a mission. [I believe what I would have meant is that I had to crane my neck to see the speaker from whatever position I had in the classroom.] He was a reasonable, great bloke. A caring man. Not like nowaday coons. [Obviously, a shocking sentiment. The slang is bad enough, but the whole sentence screams Racism. The explanation for this statement – which by no means excuses it – is very complex. It was a generalisation, referring to the (alcoholic) Park People, which was all I had witnessed firsthand of Aboriginals in Cairns – apart from fellow students with whom I had no qualms whatsoever. This is clearly a statement founded upon Fear. For now, please remember this was nearly 30 years ago and that kind of attitude was long ago exchanged for Compassion.]

Friday 6/9/85

Glad it’s Friday. Went to town tonight & bought (roll-on) lip gloss – finally – & “coconut” deep tanning lotion. [The old coconut oil tanning lotion! Smelled divine, but as for sun protection? Hahaha.] Hardly anyone in town, let alone anyone we knew. Saw Karen M. & Tania P. at work. Didn’t see Steven. Bus was late to today. Came at 3:30, so got home at 3:50. Normally get home at 3:40. Stupid driver. Bludge day today. I must start study this week end. It will be work, work, work all the time. Full day’s work tomorrow, dad said & then on Sunday – study, HW & english (& other) assignment(s) Is cold again. Wind is up & it rained tonight. Looks like wet has set in.

Saturday 7/9/85

Worked literally all day today:- 6¼hrs labelling + 54 drums cleaned gave me $38.50 but dad thought I was so dilligent that he made it a round $40! Was hard work – back, hand and arm muscles were strained. Dad’s renovating his office – will look or-right! He wanted it finished today, but Jenny drove me home at 6:45 & didn’t look near that! Got home & Geoff & his mum were here. Had tea (dinner) (& 2 helpings of dessert) Watched TV. & the 2 movies that were on tonight. Both comedys. Alright. 2nd one was better. Weather was changeable – sunny/rainy but always windy. Mums going to Port tomorrow. Julia & I’ll stay home. I have to study.

Sunday 8/9/85

Got HW done & revised all maths Ch’s. Mind you – it took all day & I didn’t get to study german or even start my english assignment (due Tues.) so it wasn’t that “profitable” a day. Put on make up in between. [Ah! So you didn’t study solidly?!] Love the lip gloss I’ve got! I just keep using it. At this rate I’ll run out!! (very soon) Weather is still windy, overcast & sometimes rains. Am starting to snack again. Must control myself. Filled week this week: 2 maths test, assignment due & german test. Shit. Mum & Geoff & Mrs M. got home 5:50. Played Triv. Pursuit (my wanting to) but I pulled out first Is now 9:30. Must sleep well.

Swearing, Hitting & Falling off Bikes (29 July-4 Aug)

Published on July 29, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 29/7/85

The best piece of news I could have gotten today (besides winning the lotto, or something) was that Steven doesn’t like Anna. Not hate (like he does Lucy) I think!?! (I hope – nah!) but just doesn’t like enough. I like him enough! Didn’t got to aerobics. Was supposed to (starting today) jog at the park to lose weight. Didn’t do that either cos’ got my Dolly. [The ultimate procrastination!] Didn’t get haircut either cos’ Annette was booked out (I’m going Thursday, now.) But today when I told everyone how I wanted my haircut – most said they like it the way it is now. Tina got frantic when I told her I wanted my fringe trimmed. She said “if you get your fringe cut, get it cut up to here.” (whereupon she pointed at her scalp.) She also stated that she didn’t like Anna’s haircut (when fiona told Anna, they all said they hated her but I didn’t.) Also today, my neck was sore. Think it’s out of place.

Tuesday 30/7/85

Deodourant wore off quickly today. Is starting to get warmer. Also 2 nails (the longest on my left hand) were broken at lunchtime. We swore (on the oval) to hit each other each time we swore. Everyone hits me all the time. If I hit fiona cos’ she swore, Lucy’d hit me. So if I swore fiona’d hit me, I’d hit her back & she’d hit me again & so on. Riding tomorrow. BP test tomorrow. Maths WESTPAC competition test tomorrow. Sports day on Friday. Think my ears (earring holes) are infected

Wednesday 31/7/85

At “last minute” Fiona rings to say she can’t ride cos’ her Dad’s sick & her mum went into the shop instead so she had to help Stuart get off to school & get Da’s breakfast. So just me & Beka rode. It was a bad luck day. On the way to school, I slipped off (over) my bike on gravel & grazed my hand & knee (left). Westpac Maths Competition – I’ll be lucky to get 50/100, BP I think I will fluke most of the answers & worst of all, on the way home, BEKA had a prang on railway tracks. She hurt her knees, knuckles & head. (much worser than me) Went to the “Dunstan’s” for tea. Yummy! (Ate heaps! Watched walt disney shows on video)

Thursday 1/8/85

Late night last night. Got about 7 hrs sleep, tho’.. Haircut not trim & it looks stupid!!!! No joke. It is shit & couldn’t find any plain, white sandshoes. I mean wat’s the world coming to?? No plain old (good ole) sandshoes. Unbelievable. Sport day tomorrow. Will have to wear my white leather ones. Gonna wear something in my hair to cover it up, too. Wish I could re-run today. Hated it. Ian C. called me ugly again. Dunno if he was joking or not, but it does hurt you to be told to your face how ugly you are. [I have tried a number of times to make a comment here, about this but it really speaks for itself. It demonstrates well the power of words, even if harmless in intent, as I know this would have been. As children we can be oblivious but as adults we need to choose our words wisely, since none of us ever knows what is going on in the minds of those to whom we direct them. Having said that, it is Human to err so we need to exercise tolerance – and forgiveness thereof – for “sins committed against us”!]

Friday 2/8/85

I’m cold at the moment – not. I’m not, I jest feel as if it’s cold (it is) Like not cold, but my teeth chatter a little bit. Carnival was good. Got burnt on face, legs & little Δ shape on chest where shirt was. [Except that that triangle would have been upside down, wearing a V-necked T-shirt] Sunny. Excellent weather despite the wind. Tim S. is Trinity. Jeez, he’s a fast runner!! 1st in his 100 & 200 m races!! Anyhow, we won again!! 3rd year in a row!! Clifton 2nd, then Ellis & Kewarra. Am bugared. now. watched movie. Going to sleep at Lucy’s tomorrow 4 her birthday party: I dunno now who I like better – Tim or Steven!!

Saturday 3/8/85

Woke up & decided to HW. Did not get any done. I don’t know why!! But, as I started to get rid of (using my depilatory cream) about 4 weeks growth of underarm hair, mrs b. pulled in at our place. So with a tissue & plastic scraper, ridded myself of the yellow gunk. (I ended up shaving off the hair at Lucy’s) So, around 1:00 I packed my bags and went to Lucy’s. Not long after I arrived (about 15 mins) Beka came then about 5-3 mins after her; Fiona. We talked most of the arvy away – confessing wot we liked & hated about each other. (Won’t explain that!) Watched a little TV. Mr W. went out about 6:30 & [at this point, I’d filled the available space, so continued over the page and ran the entry straight through into Sunday’s…]

Sunday 4/8/85

we cooked our own tea. Late nite, too. was about 1:30-2:00 before we got to sleep. Played some games in that time. Was cold when we went to sleep (Mr W. came home about 12-1:00) Slept badly – kept waking up to the cold & wierd little dreams.Woke 8:30. Left 9:30. No breakfast there – just up!! clean up!! get dressed!! & go!! (Mr W. was at church.) so, at home today, bludged. S’posed to do HW, but didn’t. Played with makeup. Went out to give dad something & we (Jules & me) got our birthday prezzy’s from Papa $20. (and mine from Jenny – a fake pink crystal necklace orrright.) feel so guilty cos’ I was angry at Papa for not sending a prezzy. but paid no consideration to the 2 heart attacks from which he has only just recovered. [At least I know what ‘remorse’ is] Edna his new wife looks kind & funny (I mean humorous in personality.) Also went to Nell & Amanda’s. All of them think I’m pretty. If it’s true, why is there no proof (boyfriends)?? [Ah, the complexity – or impossibility? – of answering a question such as this…]

Cold Weather & A ‘Stranger’ for Tea (3-9 June)

Published on June 29, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 3/6/85

Warmer today. Cool spell has gone – is warming up, now. Pooey! Julia went to doctor’s. She has 2 throat infections. Will not be going to skool 4 the rest of the week. [My sister was often sick, compared to me. Tonsillitis was her ‘specialty’!] Mum wants money refunded 4 julias camp. I got hiccups in science. Couldn’t get rid of them – really loud! Annoyed Fiona, too. At home, I felt sick thought I was coming down with Julia’s Flu. It passed after dinner. Praybon dropped Tina & asked Anna today. She hasn’t replied. No wonder Tina was in a BAD mood in Art…. I told Fi I was going to aerobics & I couldn’t go feeling sick. I just missed her when I rang to tell her → she’ll probably crack 2morrow (unless mim went)

Tuesday 4/6/85

Today it got cool & I forgot my jumper … so I froze. Sold about…5 brooches earned only $1.60 cos’ paid back some people (Lucy & Beka) to whom I owed money. Did hardly any HW & NO STUDY. I must really try to cos’ these exams are important (mum’s not going to Cooktown now cos’ of them!) Anna isn’t going with Praybon yet, but in German, next to tina, she only talked about him. I didn’t know wot to say to her. [One of Life’s difficult moments.] Wizzed thru’ maths 2day. Got a whole ch. almost finished. Tim is a distant person, now. I hardly ever see him & least of all, he appears to not even notice me. Oh woe is me!

Wednesday 5/6/85

Cold today. There’s a cold front moving up the coast, (according to Fiona!) Forgot (almost) about speech, but got there early – went to mima’s She was on the phone to Brent (Steven B. was with him) mima ended up setting up Steven with me (describing me to him etc.) Brent said I looked like Madonna!! But, cos I was getting excitedly nervous, she reset him with Lucy who had the guts to talk to him on the ‘phone! I’m sorry, now. [Some evidence of the shyness which those who know me find hard to believe I posses. Having grown up with predominantly female energy around me, merely talking to boys was an unnerving experience.] Started to study tonight, just a bit. But I must do more. Will stay late tonight. Got a book out from book room. TT#3 Mr (Fuckhead) Carter made me go out of archery into “field” for PES cos’ no one would volunteer. I can’t jump or throw for nuts. Fuckin cunt. [Whoa, HEAVY language. I had no idea I knew that word back then, let alone used it.]

Thursday 6/6/85

Glad I didn’t forget a jumper today ! (Not that I would have [well you did on Tuesday, Silly-billy]) I had it on all day. IT WAS COLD!! & tonite, doing study, my fingers & toes, I swear, could have snapped off! [Good to know that my poor circulation isn’t just an old-age thing!] Mad rush to book room after skool to get History & 2 more science texts. Also had art folder & 2 art texts to carry. Thought my bag would break! No lunch-time. Late out of BP & had to go straight into english for viewing test. (which I’ve prob’ly failed) Man came 4 tea [Well, this is random. The only man I could imagine coming for tea, whom would not need naming, would have been mum’s partner Geoff. It’s bizarre to think some other bloke might’ve come over and I didn’t say for what reason, or at the very least, mention his name.] Have still 2 units to go in Science. Probly another late nite. I must do well, now. Is cool …. GOODY!!

Friday 7/6/85

I think I got a high [achievement] (at least) in science and a very high in BP!! Science was quite straight-forward. I think I might have made a few careless mistakes, too. (as well as in BP) My trial balance didn’t work out & I didn’t have time to correct it. Cold!! Freezing!! Is so windy!! Didn’t study at home this arvy – Just sorted out my books. Made Fimo badges.- 3 more – only just took them out – they’re burnt!! Just a bit off-colour. Forgot to put on deodourant today!! Dad was on local news [I wonder what for? I don’t recall, and:] (I didn’t see him – mima rang to tell me – also asked me to come up on Sunday to study) Watching movie about French Revolution. Magnificent costumes!!

Saturday 8/6/85

Today was a big waste of time. I s’pose I got a bit of work done (in art) but NO STUDY. Was cool – I ate one hell of a lot. (mint chocolate custard) Am watching movie. Is good. Listened to tapes today. Discovered I do like Duran Duran – well, their music, at least. But WHAM! rules!! My skin on my face has really dry areas – don’t know how to fix them up. Also, can’t stop squeezing pimp’s & blackheads on my nose & my eyebrows are too thin; I always pluck too much off them too.) Going to mima’s to study.

Sunday 9/6/85

I went to Jemima’s. They weren’t there. I went to Fi’s. They were having brekky. We tried to study, but couldn’t. Went to Jemima’s. I tried to study, but couldn’t. (Ended up only doing Maths – a bit.) Brent rang once. Went home ’bout ½hr after a prank call. Got some songs on Countdown. Went to Diane & Kerry’s for tea. Watched “Trading Places” with Eddie Murphy. FUNNNY!! Studied a bit of maths, too. Today mim told me that Steven doesn’t want to see Lucy, now. He thinks looks are 90% of a girl. [There’s a damn good reason NOT to be interested in a guy like him] Brent must said some terrible things about Lucy!! But I’m not even 2% good looks. [There you have it – another wonderful illustration of my level of self-love.]

Plasticine & Perm, Part Two (20-26 May)

Published on June 27, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 20/5/85

Lotsa people liked it! (Or said they did, anyhow. I think Tina S. did cos’ she kept saying things all day & Lucy kept looking at me with a smile on her face.) Fi said it was different. Almost everyone got a ‘shock’ when they saw me! Missed out on heapsa BP HW. Is late. I’m tired. Went to aerobics. mim & pol weren’t there cos’ they had hair appointments. Fi had to ride home ‘n’ most of the streetlights in Freshy were off – noone knows why. Aerobics was good. Went to Annette [hairdresser at the local Freshwater Salon] – got another hair appointment. My hair’s top bits are straight again cos’ they’re sun bleached – (when they’re sun bleached they lose their elasticity so I’m gonna get the top re-permed. Is 9:45 Wanna sleep! Nite!!!

Tuesday 21/5/85

Was colder today – looks like we’re in for a cold winter this year! Boring day today. Today after PES, Rachel (D.) held Fi back (Fi told me this later) & said “why doesn’t Elissa become a model? She’s tall, got a good figure, nice hair & is good looking.” FLATTERY!! and to think I thought she didn’t like my haircut!! Made Fi some little things to give her during tomorrow till I give her her prezzy at speech (Not riding 2morrow) out of german plasticine – FIMO which is hardened in the oven (it is there rite now.) Am tired – my eyes are stinging. Gonna check on those plasticines.

Wednesday 22/5/85

FI’S BIRTHDAY!! Angela & Ms Stevenson’s too! She & angela & ms stevenson were skinted!! Angela & Fi in form talk & Mrs Stevenson in our BP class & Fi’s typing class. Those 10 things I made Fi, I hid in her belongings during the day & she got surprised!! My BP test I only got up to half way thru’ the balancing of the ledger a/c’s. Windy & cool at Beach. Went for a ‘quik dip’ and sat ’round till had to go for a walk. Bus came early with all the squash people on it, too. Our bus came late, but when it did come Tim was on it. I thought he liked me, but he doesn’t even know me. Pity. I think I really like him. Na probably not. At Dianne & Kerry’s mum’ll come soon – she’s at Geoff’s Nat. Trust meeting. Am tired. Gotta science test tommorrow.

Thursday 23/5/85

Didn’t learn 4 science, after all (not much) but thought it was pretty easy. Cool again, today. No other skirt but my PE, so my legs were bared to the cold. Boring today. Stayed in most of lunch hour doing art. Little rainy today. At home, rode to shop in a misty rain which (when going fast) stung your eyes. Bought m&m’s & a big packet of mixed lollies. & on way home, who should spring me, but skinner. Gave him a musk stick. Didn’t feel like doing HW, so did necessary stuff, then made an ‘apple’ badge out of that ‘FIMO’ stuff. AM gonna take it out now. A TEAM is finished. Nite Nite!!

Friday 24/5/85

Hate. Boring – Yuk. Wore little apple brooch or badge to skool – but gave it to Angela as a Birthday present. Will make others for myself. Bored today. Fiona was gloomy, made me feel tired & gloomy. Going to town tomorrow – me, Lucy, Justine & Fiona. Didn’t think Fi’d come (cos’ of mima) but she rang me tonite, saying she would. When I got my hair re-‘pazazzed’ mima & fiona came to shop ½ way through. Waited till it was finished, too. Anette didn’t blo-dry it, so it looked Revolting. Looks terrible when it’s wet. Mima & Fi tried to reassure me it was nice but I’ve the feeling they didn’t like it either. Late-ish nite.

Saturday 25/5/85

Time in town went too fast. Fiona bought black shoes & I bought black earrings & lip balm out of the $10 I waz s’posed 2 use on a shirt/jumper/jacket for winter. (But wot can you get out of 10$ these days?) [HA! What can you get for $10 THESE days?!] Saw mima, Fran & Erica in town. At home, moped around, then mima & fiona came around, Got out the FIMO. Beka came ’round. After FIMO cooked, pigged out from the shop, moped around, Beka left & we went to mima’s. She complained about how her outfit looked stupid (but didn’t). I raced home at 5:00 & had a shower. Just starting to put on make up when Lucy came. Beka picked us up at 7:00. Bluelight was boring. Back was good – legs were bad. Mark R. was there – I saw him, he saw me. Sean M. was there, but I didn’t see him (Justine thinks she did) Anthony & Jaqui were there too. Tart. I hate her. [I can’t get believe how much I used such strong emotive words. Then again, I probably was more ‘highly-charged’ in my youth. Thank god I’ve mellowed.]

Sunday 26/5/85

Today was a big waste. (of time) Woke around 8:30. Grumpy feeling. Lazed around – Did nothing all morning. Finally got out my history and english stuff. Wrote 1 line in English. It was too hard. Didn’t do any HW after all. Had soup for lunch & spent all arvy using FIMO & playing with make-up. After Countdown had shower, pizza for tea & watched TV. Is 8:30 now. Would like to go to bed. Haven’t done any HW. Have at least science, Hist & German that I should have done 4 tomorrow. Goodnight.