self consciousness – Page 4

Bye Bye Smithfield High (25 November-1 December)

Published on November 25, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 25/11/85

Ugh! Maths wasn’t too bad, but I think it’ll be a miracle if I get over 60/70. Damn! It’s more likely I’ll get over 50 – well, what’s wrong with a high achievement?? [High Achievement is not enough for a high achiever, read perfectionist!] But history…. I dunno about that ‘un at all!! A pass, but not a good one, I don’t think. Strelitzias were given out today and in last session, everybody was signing everybodies. I don’t have the magazine, but Ms Hornibrook said if I brought my $5 in early tomorrow I could get one. Cor, it’s hot! Got a parcel from CHS. Got subject selection form, subject guide booklet CHS prospectus & letter. There’s a meeting on the 3rd of December for us [CAD art] kids. I’m definitely gonna go now cos Astia is. Oh, so sad: I don’t want this week to go fast [Last week of school/Year 10 = last week at Smithfield State High School]

Tuesday 26/11/85

I got the very last Strelitza today. Lucky, huh??!! AM BOILING!! MY EXAMS ARE OVER!! FINISHED!! Art was quite simple, BP was a bit harder. I would have passed in both I’m sure. Had to do the piccy for the girl’s uniform for Smithy 1986 Prospectus. Front & back view. Thrilling, huh?? [Well yes, Liss, give yourself some credit.] I will see it, though, cos Julia’ll get one. Lucy came round this arvy. We went to the park & talked. This boy (saints uniform) walked across & to the brick house behind. He must have been watching us, with, gasp, Neville cos’ when Luc & I rode up & round the street, I saw them sitting on the stone wall. We went to the school. Coming home, they WHISTLED SHAME!! Anyway, am boiling hot. And watching ANZACS (only one up) Will finish soon. Am worn out!! HOT

Wednesday 27/11/85

A Life in Words — inside the front cover of my Strelitzia

Watched last part of ANZACS. It was so sad. I don’t think I have ever cried as much as I did in that. [I still tear up quite readily if I think about or witness cruelty or others’ sadness. In fact, I have come to learn that sadness belies pretty much all of my negative moods; it’s pretty much my personal ‘root evil’.] Julia laughed at me, so I tried to laugh instead – but it [my choked laugh, I assume] ended up sounding like a sick dog!!! Today – er – 17/30 for my 3 englishes. 6½, 7 & 3½→ fail!! OH WELL!! 74/100 for Science. OH WELL!! and (YAY!!) 14/15, 8/10 + 11½/15 for German! Also 34½/50 for history – 22 for one assignment, 20½ for the other!!! Still need more people to sign my Strelitzia. Want Tim to, but he won’t: doesn’t know me well enough. OH WELL! Y’know The Saints guy from yesterday – well he walked across park again. But passing our house, he looked in. I looked out & he saw me & smiled. Got a cute smile. Also this morning, some YR9 girls at the busstop were throwing around things off this tree & got me! I said “do you mind?” & Ms Rebecca P mocked me. HOW CHILDISH

Thursday 28/11/85

Am soo tired. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Gonna be unreeeeal!! Green Is, then Lucy’s party! Can’t wait!! Art 58½/60. (Good fluke) & 53½/70 for maths. Am so relieved. Little happy but mostly relieved cos I got over 50. I wanted to Get between 58-65 but that was an impossible dream. Wore wrong shirt today wasn’t sprung luckily. Wagged bits of lessons. Pretty boring. Ben P actually spoke to me in BP (were (Fiona U, Ian, him & me) all talking about maths) He said “I got 29, Lissa” for mid semester test out of 30. [I considered him one of the popular guys] Coulda got him to sign my Strelitzia but chickened out. Y’know that Saints guy? He smokes→ saw him walking home again this arvy with a fag. Pity he’s quite a good looker. Sat on the stone wall again, I think to watch me cos when I looked after mum had shut the door & pulled down the blind, he was gone. Is 10:45. Am bugared.

Friday 29/11/85

170 people from Smithfield came when we’d only booked for 130. So Mr Van volunteered 10J & a few 10H’s to stay back in town & catch the fast boat at 10:30. We walked around town – Kim, Fran, Astia, Sharon D, Fi & me. Tried to buy Westcoast. [The most popular wine cooler on the market back then] Unsuccessful. Astia’s boyfriend Jamie (over 18) got us some Island Cooler. Yukky & more alcohol compared to Westcoast.. Baked on the boat. Was fun at Green Is. Swam, walked around & jumped (were pushed) off wharf!! Didn’t need to sun bake. Got red. not too burnt, but sore enough!! Didn’t see Tim at all till he left. Oh well. Got back off the fast boat (late one) about 5:15; rushed in town & caught bus home. Ready for Lucy’s; dressed & showered. Didn’t pack much for overnite. Party was [at this point I had to turn the page to continue the story…]

Saturday 30/11/85

unreeal, had over 15 cups of rum & wine punch + 3 or 4 cups of coke (2 of which had whiskey added) Mrs W. & Rod didn’t go out. Ben P & Richard came – I thought they, besides Harry & Jemima, were the life of the party. Wasn’t drunk – just relaxed. There was Ian, Wade, Skinner, Harry, his friend, Ben, Richard, Jay & Wayne & Sharon W, me, Lucy, Fi, Mim, Danäe, Colleen, Anna, Sally, Justine, Deyarne & Michelle H & Jay’s girlfriend Rebecca. I like Richard. Ben is nice but Jemima’s absolutely flipped over him. Sally thinks Richard likes Justine. Hope not. He hates me anyway & I can feel it. [You know what they say: the attributes & attitudes you find attractive & unattractive in others is actually a reflection of yourself? Well that there comment screams of Self Hate.] Got about 5 hrs sleep. Mucked around today at Lucy’s (Danäe went home early) Luc, Beka & Me lazed about until 4:30-5:00 Mum took us home. Slept a bit at home, felt little sick right now. Just VERY tired. Mim’s head over heels with Ben. He likes her, but not as much, mutually. Ian & Wade & Shane were bored I think. Wayne, Sharon, Deyarne & Michelle left early thank god. [Ah, what? Why thanks god I wonder? I don’t recall being averse to any of these people. Maybe too many popular people for me and I felt uncomfortable?] Gotta have more like that. I think even Harry enjoyed it. He was pisst!! Everyone came late around 9:00.

Sunday 1/12/85

Boy, have I had one social life; In the past 3 days + tomorrow!! Woke late this morning & did Xmas cards all day. Have so many! Went to Dianne & Kerry’s. Stayed for tea & watched video “Gremlins” UNREEAL. On the way there, saw Ben & Richard!! Almost flipped!! I dunno if they actually saw me but they watched the car all the way past!! Julia thinks Richard’s nice looking too! me; well, not so much looks, but; I dunno what attracts me!! Anyway, when I rang Fran (at Di & Kerry’s) she’d said they’d been to Erica’s. She’d (Fran) been at mim’s all day cos’ her mum had lunch with Mrs B) so she knew the story between Mim & Ben. She is going to Justine’s party now & Ben & Richard are supposed to, too. I’m worried that, if mima & Ben do hit it off, that Fi will get Richard. NO!! Anyway for the moment I don’t think Ben’s as flipped over mim as she is over him. But never can tell…!!! Is 10:15 now. Busy day tomorrow.

INXS, Puff Paints & An Old Wives’ Tale (23-29 September)

Published on September 23, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 23/9/85

Got to work late started labelling at 9:45. Worked most of day Earned $33.50. Getting the INXS ticket tomorrow!! will be great! Rang Jemima: We’re taking her (Oh! & Fiona after all) sorry, them in & they’re taking me home. Justine rang. I think she understood I hope. I feel bad in a way. Stayed up late to watch the good Monday night shows. Is 11:30 now. Am tired. Can’t think of anything else so Nite Nite!

Tuesday 24/9/85

INXS was great!! NO – TOPS. Reels were stupid. But INXS were brilliant. Played all or most songs – minus “Original Sin” + new ones too. Got right up the front again. My ears are ringing now – they’re not so deaf anymore. My legs & back were so sore. Polly’s boyfriends friends Adam G (y’know him) & Benji & others. Benji was NICE! Think he liked me – probly me imagination. Today just wrote out ’84 diary between watching TV, fooling with Julia and (of course) eating. Is now 11:15 & I am tired. Got to line [queue for the concert] at 4:00! Got in a 5:40 But were very near front of cue (Mima was 3rd to get it!) Mmm, yes – Benji was nice. (Polly tried to set him up with – Anna likes him.) But he’s YR9 → I think.

Wednesday 25/9/85

My left ear is still ringing!!! Woke up & right one was clear but left was blocked & ringing. Has unblocked but is still ringing. Wonder how that happens? Scientifically, I mean. Will ask Mr Howard at school. [If I did ask him, I have forgotten what the answer was. But a quick Google search just now reveals that, basically, the ‘stereocilia’ (within the cochlea) become damaged and mistakenly continue sending sound information to auditory nerve cells.] Rang Jenny. there’s NO work for me, so I’m going to town on Friday (because) we’re going to mission beach on Mon, Tues & Wed & mum’s b’Day is on Tues.) & will walk to work & borrow some money off dad [for Mum’s birthday present]. Mima & Fi are coming (I think.) Rang them & they’re both quite sure. Mum’s at National Trust Meeting. Watched TV today & wrote out 1984 diary & ate & ate …. Mum got me some puff paints for Tshirts. Are terrific!! Also mum went for a job interview. Was turned down but the (nice) guy said she had all the talents & qualifications to do it. OH WELL!

Thursday 26/9/85

Mima’s not coming to town (But Fi still is.) she has to go to the block at Tinnaburra. Too bad. Anyhow, I asked her if (or mentioned that) she’d set up a date for a day to Green Is or something. Said that’d be fine. But now we’re not going to Mission Beach till Thurs cos’ geoff has to go away. Everything is so rushed. (Today I did like I normally do – ate, watched TV but didn’t continue rewriting my ’84 diary,and lazed around – getting fat. Mucked around with make up too. That was fun.) Played Trivial Pursuit. I got fed up with all the hard Q’s I got when Geoff, Mum & Julia got easy ones, so I left – Julia took my place. [Sook!] Geoff won. I’m tired – hafta catch the 9:00 so nite, nite!

Friday 27/9/85

Am buggered! In town, I got $50 from dad [for mum’s birthday present] & he said to get something from him so in town I dragged Fi around – not knowing what to get at all. So I eventually got a $30 voucher from sussans, and a bread knife from me, & a wooden bead necklace from Sportsgirl & a $7 voucher for Robyn’s. Hope she likes it. [The bread knife gift has an unpleasant parallel memory for me. It was only about four years ago Mum asked me, as she always did, what I wanted for my birthday or for christmas. The majority of the time I had no idea what to tell her, but this particular time I had in mind “a really good, sharp, proper kitchen knife”. When the gift giving time came, she just handed me some money, explaining an “old wives’ tale” about gifting knives: something along the lines of giving a knife can sever the relationship between the two people involved. I don’t recall her being overly superstitious but I think she grew ‘conscious’ of things such as this the older she got. She definitely ‘softened’ with age; she began to get teary when dropping me off at the airport.] At home (we caught a lift with mum) I lazed around. Suddenly overcome with fatigue. Watched TV. Made or have started to make a notice board from cardboard box. Went to Di & Kerry’s for drinks to give Trent his prezzy. Ate so much junk today too.

Saturday 28/9/85

Just been to a BBQ party. Was little boring & quite cold. Mum had a jumper lucky devil. Funny conversations! Some (one) spunky guy there – bit old for me tho’. Looked about 19 or 20. Smokes & drinks. Today, spent most finishing off the ’84 diary. Got it finished just as we were leaving for BBQ. Also made the notice board from cardboard (box). Painted it today – but I’ll need to put thin white card/paper over it cos you can see all the bend marks, etc. Woke early but made myself sleep in. Is about 12:20 now. Am not tired but I s’pose once the light goes out, I’ll go “out”!

Sunday 29/9/85

Guess what? My periods are due the day we leave for Mission beach – Wednesday. Great, uh? Finished totally my ’84 diary & burnt the original. Also, with my notice-board I stuck white (thin) cardboard over the top. Still want to put black (or some coloured) trimmings on it before hanging it up. ← Dunno how I’ll do that yet, either. Haven’t got any pins for it either. OH well… Watched a bit of TV. Am a little sick. Have sore throat, feel tight chested – thick mucus wall up my throat. Voice is affected. Mum thinks Larangitus. probably. worst in nite-time & mornings. I squeezed 4 or 5 oranges for my throat this morning. Ate quite little no snacks besides 3 choccy biccys & a frenzy cone for arvy tea. Is 10:30. I’ll go to sleep now.

A Mauve Outfit, a White Swimsuit & an Inferiority Complex (16-22 September)

Published on September 16, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 16/9/85

NO tests. Mrs B drove us home today (Anna, Jay, me & Fi) cos’ she does voluntary work here (at skool) when Julia got home, we drove into town. Walked around.Worst luck imaginable. All the shews [me being deliberate in my misspelling here, sometimes for phonetic reasons] I liked (weren’t many) were either not in ~~that~~ (my) size or colour. Then, I couldn’t find any shirts or anything. Didn’t do any Homework. Am just bugared. [Actually, I have only just realised how much I use this word, which has a much different meaning to the general public! In our family it was a standard term to describe being very, very tired or exhausted, not unlike the other ‘awkward’ expression some use; “rooted”. Is this Australian slang only?] Can’t wait for the holidays. Eventually (finally handed my selection sheet in) I chose chemistry out of that & economics. Someone told Fi it was just like history so I’m definitely not going to do it. Last nite I dreamed about Tim. I flirted with him. He liked my eyes. Was beautiful. [ ..the dream, the scenario or the guy?] Today Fi told us about her dream that she’d failed english test – said her dreams came true. Wished mine would. I have no chance really. [Great Liss, a lot of compassion shown there to your good friend, by lack of commiseration!]

Tuesday 17/9/85

Very late night. German dinner was fun. Got a new shirt from Ambition colourful almost exactly what I wanted and ($30) Diana Ferrari shoes leather ($40) Am happy. At German dinner went for a walk around Woree. Feet a bit sore but no blisters. Was quite fun – not excellent. Guess what! Adrienne & Erica want us to ride to school with them on Friday. I don’t believe it And we’re s’posed to go to the beach after school together. FUN! [Well I clearly felt a social hierarchy at school. My reaction to this invitation reminds me of the Hollywood teen flicks where the Geeks get sucked into nasty pranks by students of the ‘upper echelon’. Of course, this never existed in my time at Smithfield High – at least not to my knowledge or in my personal experience. Erica actually lived in Freshwater and had attended the same primary school as us anyway. I suppose in my eyes she ‘fell in’ with the ‘right people’ once we began high school.]

Wednesday 18/9/85

Quite boring today actually. Ate quite more than I used to (ie when I cut out snacks) In other words I had a big snack this arvy which was NOT NECESSARY. [passive-aggressive self reprimand?] What’ll I wear to the free dress day? I have no clue at all. Shorts? Wot? Went to art room at lunch & finished off my work there. Then went back to L Block & started ach.[achievement] test. Art test tomorrow & maths extension. (Wanna get a hair cut, too.) Got maths back yesterday & guess – 26½/30. I couldn’t BELIEVE IT! Still I deserved it cos I studied. English however 6½/10 & 5½/10 for english response. Umah. Today’s BP test (exam) was easy but I didn’t study enough theory, I don’t think. Am bugared. Nite!

Thursday 19/9/85

Got 61/65 for BP & Art I found stupid but once I started I felt quite pleased with the results. Maths extension test was easy, but I’ve made careless mistakes set. mark is 20-22/30. Went & got hair cut (is much better – keeps out of my eyes) and after went to KMart; found nothing so went to Earlville. Got a great new purple (mauve) skirt & top (earrings too) for $30. Almost lost $20. Almost lost suit to another woman – who picked it up after I tried it on – luckily she didn’t buy it. Went back to KMart to see Dad. (selling tickets) Went home. Have to have my camp menu in tomorrow. I quickly wrote out my choices 2nite but will probably change. Teachers are only going to refrigerate our meat, so I might have to buy a mini eski for my salad, milk, cheese, butter, yogurt & poppers. Also Asked Mr Carter. if I could swap into group 2 said no. I don’t mind. Gotta go to sleep now.

Friday 20/9/85

Rode slowly (I thought) but still beat the buses. Did no work; was a total BLUDGE! Almost wagged german but sprung by Bancroft (lied & got out of it). Art exam 8½/10 Maths 28/30 Excellent! I freaked! Riding home, Erica & Adrienne went to Smithfield Heights to see a friend said they’d catch up to us. Didn’t tho’. I left Fi at Railway Stn, went to shop & bought lollies. Nana came round. She left & we went to Mandy’s. Heath talks a lot now & Matthew is so big. Night at home. Just watching TV. Going to town tomorrow.

Saturday 21/9/85

Doesn’t even feel like the holidays! Went to town with Justine & Kim (her braces are off – looks nice!!) when I got on bus, sat next to Erica and talked to her until Kim got on. In town walked around – I tried on togs & found a really nice pair of white ones which actually “strengthened” my figure. Didn’t look at the price. Pigged out at Sunny Oven Bakery – had a huge slice of Vanilla slice. [I always seemed to go the vanilla slice. I think it’s because I’ve always had a ‘thing’ for custard.] At home – quickly changed & rode to Justine’s. We sunbaked for a little while, then swam, had lunch (watched grandstand – they all taught me the rules etc.) [Not sure what that was, but have a feeling it was something to do with Australian Rules Football, which was foreign to most Queenslanders. Queensland was – and still is so far as I know – a ‘Rugby League state’ in terms of football codes] & swam again. Rode home. People here. Thought they’d stay for tea but didn’t. Is now 12:50. Just finished Trivial Pursuit I WON for once!! YAY!! Mima works in Kaffa – we saw her. She asked me if I was going to the INXS concert. told her I might & she said “well ring me cos no one else wants to go. THAT’S A CHANGE. huh?!! [I clearly held the perception that I wasn’t an important figure in her life, and that in a respect she was of an upper class socially as well – even though she attended a different school. I think I had always ‘idolised’ her, despite having been friends with her for almost a decade by this stage!] doesn’t even feel like the hol’s – YES it does!

Sunday 22/9/85

Today I did nothing – mostly I read the play book nana gave me, watched a little TV & cont’d writing out my 1984 Diary. Dunno if I’ll fit it in the book. [I did!] Ate little, but quite frequently & it was choccy buscuits or smarties or ice cream etc which is terrible. Did I tell you when I was in town yesterday I tried on some white togs which really looked good? Forgot to look at price. There was a blue pair cut legs up to waist made my torso & stomach look lovely but not my legs. [Oh the 80’s! High, high cut gym and swimwear, but low-slung & drop-waisted clothing!] Gonna work tomorrow. Played Triv. Pursuit (T.P.) again. Not too late 2night. Every time I write in this diary (or any) I feel it my duty to fill each page up. I do alright huh?!! In fact, I need more room – [Not wrong there. Almost every entry spills over onto the next day’s space, which in turn pushes the next day’s on, and so on. This transcription involves a fair bit of page-turning.]

Interior Decorating & Molly’s Death (19-25 August)

Published on August 19, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 19/8/85

Tonight is supposed to be 14º Last night was cold too. [This is Cairns, remember. 14 degrees can be considered ‘cold’ in the tropics.] Hope we get a nice long cold spell with wind & rain!! (But not for the camp.) Did all HW this arvy & did a little research for history. Am proud that I got it all done before 5:00 (5:15, really!) I hate these little bugs flying around my lamp. They get in my way. Today was “good”. Watched Animal Farm on video. Bit sad. [George Orwell’s novel Animal Farm is one of the most memorable reads of my life and one of my favourite quotes comes from it: “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”] Early night tonight. Going “well” on my “diet”. Looked at my building society passbook. Now I have $29.61. In one year from now, I should have approximately $520 more (if I keep earning ~$10 per week!)!!

Tuesday 20/8/85

Fiona “misses” me. She “mentioned” it in science. I think she’s “upset” that I can talk “easier” to justine. Anyway. On the way home Lucy & Anna got fi & I the last seat (where Clayton normally sits) Fiona didn’t sit there (dunno why) but I did (kinda on the very inside edge.) and Jay sat next to me. Felt wierd. [? Perhaps it was that I was sitting next to a boy? I hadn’t experienced a great deal of exposure to the Male Species in my young life. Mum and Dad’s separation removed even more male energy from my environment.] At lunch went to oval with Sarah – talked about a lot of things. Am so tired. Sun & Mon nites I had early, but slept terribly (waking up both times with bloody nose) I have a “sneeze” cold & my allergies are running hot I HATE IT. My right eye is ITCHY & I hate it. My nose in running & I HATE IT

Wednesday 21/8/85

Today was really topsy turvy. Went to a play at Croswell Hall after assembly (made our Yr 11 subject choices (just indefinite ones)) [Ha, indefinite? I clearly had no idea what that word meant. “Not definite” was what I’d’ve been thinking.] Got the back seat on the bus on the way in (Tim got on, too & sat in the 2nd last seat.) But on the way home Jacki & her ‘friends’ got it. Play was alright – boring. Could see Tim from where I sat. He sat 2 rows in front to my right. Then we got back at the end of little lunch so we had P4 for little lunch. WHoever didn’t go, had to go to class. After that it was a normal Day 4. Boring!! Fiona has a sore neck – under her ears – I think it might be Mumps. Did my english talk. Got 7/10 was stupid.

Thursday 22/8/85

Got the old desk tonight. Cleaned it ‘afore I went to bed. Fiona was away. Beka & I diagnosed “mumps”, yesterday. Could tell Anna was bored with us (me.) Almost conned into going to the Bluelight. I really don’t want to, yet I do. This arvy, bathed, & went to Earlville. Mum had to ‘man’ a National Trust stand & Jules & I walked around. Found heaps of clothes and A PR OF BLACK TOGS maillot style!!! Yipee!! ($36) Then rushed home with a pizza and watched “A Country Practise”. Molly’s death was terribly sad. Had to hold back the tears. I feel quite exhausted now [For those who are too young or not Australian enough to know, “A Country Practise” was a popular 80’s TV serial and this particular episode has gone down in Australian television history as one of the most moving character deaths. I’m fairly sure she was the first character I ever recall passing away as a result of the Big C (cancer) – leukaemia.]

Friday 23/8/85

DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN is a really enjoyable movie!! I got ready (Justine rang twice) and she came ½hr late so (it started at 8:00) it was 7:00 when we got to “Babooshka”. Mrs McP tried on clothes. I persuaded Justine we leave and get tickets at 7:20 but theatre still wasn’t open so at 7:30 decided to whip around town. Didn’t get to see much at all. at 7:50 whizzed back to theatre Got in line after Shane L. Saw movie. WAS TERRRIFIC! Then (I told mum 11 o’clock) we waited 20 mins (in the dark – but not on our own, thank god) till mum came. I was a bit worried!! Today, fiona came to school. Isn’t mumps!!

Saturday 24/8/85

Worked and earned only $16.25. Got home around 3:00. Took $3 to the fete at 3:00, came back with $3 at 3:15. Was boring. Nothing there. Justine was talking to some TAS girls (can’t remember their names) & (almost) totally ignored me, so I left. At home wanted to change my room around, got cranky towards 4:30 & really hysterical after 5:00. Room just doesn’t feel comfortable when I change it. Maybe I’m not ready for one. So when Dianne & Kerry came at 6:00, my eyes were puffy. Quickly got normal & watched TV untill tea. Had a game of Trivial Pursuit after. We (mum & I) came 2nd!! Is now 12:15

Sunday 25/8/85

Today, woke feeling good. I saw the desk & had an excellent idea how to put it ….. (Guess) ….. it didn’t work, so I was shitty till I worked out how to have it. Spent 12:30 onwards filling the drawers & sorting out school papers/books, so got not HW (let alone study) done. Read little of my book, too. At 3:00-3:30, went to D’s at whiterock. Watched TV & I read. Was fun. Bethlan the little 3 year old girl is a scream! Her brothers Adam (11) & Ben (7) give her a hard time! Stayed for tea. Got home late is now 9:05. Got no HW done, still will wake early tomorrow (6:30) not much to do. American Exchange student comes 2morrow.

TAFE Excursion & a Fat Lip (12-18 August)

Published on August 12, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 12/8/85

Better with Fiona, now. Not best – just better. (I don’t think Jemima likes me much tho’) Anyway, was surprised how I didn’t get jealous or anything when I asked about fete. Was funny!! Cos she told me wat Natasha & Rebecca P. did to them & how she danced with David S. etc. So was good. Got ½ english essay done & ½ way thru, have decided to do Q1, instead. I’m not starting again, tho’. What I wrote (½) of Q2 will do 4 the whole of Q1. (I hope) [Confused? Good, so am I…] (I’ll see HIM [my english teacher, I assume] at skool – probably won’t like it. Shit!) Didn’t go to aerobics. Did no HW, too. Glad to be back at skool – routine!! Don’t see Tim much; lost interest I think, now I know who he likes….

Tuesday 13/8/85

Almost normal with Fiona, now. But I think how we are now is how we will stay. Very friendly but I’m not as “pushy” as before. Went to Mr Van today at lunchtime. Major/minor changes to essay. He thinks I’ve answered the question but my expression is not quite correct in some places. Tomorrow we’re going on the excursion to TAFE College. (Career Education) Wonder if we’ll have to wear our black leather shoes??! Hope not. American exchange student coming next Friday (23rd) Can’t wait!! Kim D. I think her name is…. Oh! Also, I’m on the Mulgrave Camp! I was selected (my name was first girl’s read out.) Along with Fi & Justine. Initially, Tina wasn’t & Angela R. was – but Tina’s swapping with Angela cos’ she dearly wants to go. Angela can go with Toni on Tinaroo

Wednesday 14/8/85

TAFE excursion was – boring (got a whole lot of pamphlets 4 the fun of it.) [I’d never do that now – paper wastage is an environmental travesty! Don’t even try to give me a plastic bag when I’m shopping…] Went on same bus as Tim!! At school, after big lunch, spent last two periods on parade. Teachers explained to us subject choices open for next year. I dunno quite what to do. Tonight there was a whodunit movie (don’t ask me who the murderer(s) was/were – too hard for me!) Am tired. Aching. Think there’s more growing pains in my legs. Shit- (At TAFE guys whistled at all us girls) SKINT!!

Thursday 15/8/85

Today was not good. I’ve never been to the office more than once to see about sores/sickness. First, at parade my top lip was itchy (under the skin) so I scratched it & it swelled, in fact, in BP it almost touched my nose!! So went to office. Got calamine lotion which didn’t help. [Weird. I never discovered the cause of this freakish reactive condition.] Then, after P.E., (we were made to run relays, 4 x 100m.) I was SICK. Carter (STP!!) wouldn’t let me out. [I’m guessing STP stood for ‘suck-the-pus’ coz that’s the only phrase I can recall using around that time, that would fit that acronym] In history didn’t write notes (dictation) just rested but I was weak, trembly, sick & had a gigantic headache. Spent ½hr in the sick bay. [I might hazard a guess and say that many of those symptoms I describe could simply be the result of a really good, hard workout – an out-of-the-ordinary, intense physical & neurological challenge, catapulting me into the Fight-or-Flight response I so rarely experienced as a relatively sedentary kid…?] Alright after that (Tina isn’t allowed on the Mulgrave Camp, still.) Wunda why?

Friday 16/8/85

Saw Jemima yesterday. She was well. Diff’rent I think, Anyhow: today was better today (huh? that’s sounds abit funny.) Gonna work tomorrow. Might even clean drums. God today was boring. Absolutely NOTHING “notable” occurred. Anna has a new haircut. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. It looked better before & even better before that. Periods finished, I think. Thank god. Hope I don’t get them for camp. Got a list of things I’d like to (want to) buy for summer (& camp.) One is a nightshirt to sleep in. This one I nicked off mum is too short now. I’m growing too fast About 5’8″ – 5’9″ (175-180cm) Big huh?

Saturday 17/8/85

I may as well write my diary now, save writing it out tomorrow. [That is, playing ‘catch-ups’…] See, its about 12:15 (we’ve just been to Dianne & Kerry’s. Geoff’s mum’s there.) We stayed playing Trivial Pursuit. It was boring. Am dog tired. Also have to do HW & english essay tomorrow. Earned $21.25 today. Kept $10.25 & gave $11 to mum to bank for me. Can’t wait till I can spend it!! Can think of so many things to buy. Cleaned drums & labelled today. It [10L chemical drum cleaning] isn’t too bad after all (x-ept that you get everything wet (well I do)) [oh and maybe get a little poisoned by the toxic chemicals I was rinsing out of them?] Didn’t eat much. Had a sly cone (yogurt tho’) & desert at Di & Kerry’s – still, must lose.. 6kgs I worked out. Keep going Liss

Sunday 18/8/85

I feel a strange kind of freedom. See, I got all my Homework done before 2:00! [a feeling I haven’t known many times in my life: I am usually a ‘last-minute’ crammer] And (that includes my essay) what’s better, the time went so slow after that! I just didn’t know what to do. I made a barby shirt & fixed up their “living area”. I removed (tried to) unwanted hair (underarms & bikini line) and had a sly cone (umah) that’s another good thing. I didn’t feel hungry at all today! So I didn’t eat much. I’m quite happy overall. Dunno particularly why. (Also, put some things on my door) Gonna have an early night So I feel 100% in the morning. Can’t wait till next weekend. Will write a list of all the things I can do so I don’t get bored!!

Relationship Tests & the Hunger/Thirst Concept (5-11 Aug)

Published on August 5, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 5/8/85

[Insert hand-drawn musical notes] Torn between two Lovers [insert more musical notes]…. Nah!! I dunno (still) who I like better!! My necklace (crystals – fake) from Jenny broke today. I took it to show my friends. Have lost about eight – ten beads. OH well… Dunno which camp to go on – the one to Little Mulgrave or Tinaroo.(Am really wanting to know which one (or if) Tim’s going on.) It’s a camp just 4 us YR 10’s!! Have begun cutting down on food intake from today. Read an article in “New Idea” about when you feel hungry (whether it be from seeing someone else eating, depression/boredom etc.) to massage certain parts of your body & the hunger pangs die. When I was hungry for dinner, I tried it & sure enough I had ¾ of the amount I would normally have had. Also am gonna try to drink lots water before a meal. Is supposed to fill you up!! Hope it all works!!! [Hmmm, and also dilutes your stomach acids so it kind of hinders the digestive process. You should only drink before a meal if you’re trying to determine whether you are actually hungry, since thirst is often confused as hunger. Either way, you need to wait 10 minutes or so to find out: if truly hungry, the stomach acids will re-concentrate, bringing back your ‘hunger pangs’.]

Tuesday 6/8/85

Today was boring. Ate less, but after dinner, demolished almost ¾ tin of peaches. Big brawl with Julia climaxed today – mum tried to make us explain Julia denied everything. She just gets shitty whenever I get a seat nearest to the back [of the bus] than her (or if I get a seat at all) at skool & home she’s fine – but on the bus she talks about me to her friends & gives me dirty looks. Late night tonight. Am going on Little Mulgrave Camp after all, even if Tim doesn’t. (Tina, Fran etc are)

Wednesday 7/8/85

Early night, mum’s at a National Trust meeting. Julia and I are at home on our own!! (Believe it or not!!) We’ll be asleep before she gets home (about 10) Is 8:30 now. Fiona isn’t talking to me. I think it’s because I don’t talk as much to her cos’ I feel that anything I say is stupid, unimportant etc. She, Anna & Megan went to typing room at lunch today. So I went to oval with Justine & Sara. She said to Anna on the bus (when I wasn’t paying attention) “Let’s go to typing again tomorrow.” I think it was a retaliation remark, to hurt me. /// Tim isn’t going on the camp. shucks!!

Thursday 8/8/85

Fiona is still “shitty” with me. She did go to typing today, too. (When I walked Megan to her bus to say goodbye as per usual I asked her how it was – typing – and she went …. i.e. she found it BORING!!) OHH… Also: dunno if I’ll get to go to Mulgrave. Only 40 people can go, and as I only got my form & money in today, I think I’ve pretty well missed out. (See today was a bad day. First I forget my lunch and camp & excursion forms – so ring mum to bring them. then I miss mum so Mr Roff, personally, walks thru’ YR 10 parade to give my lunch etc to me. [ANY connection to the Principal was socially debilitating.] SHAME! then in English I fall (backwards) off my chair!!! BAD LUCK, HUH?!!) Anyhow, as I wrote “Mulgrave Camp only” on my form, it means if I do miss out, I won’t go at all. S’pose that won’t matter cos then I can stay (at skool) & drool over Tim as per usual!!

Friday 9/8/85

[UH-OH…] Distressing news: Tim is crazy over Adrienne P. I knew it. Tina, Erica & Fran talked about it in art. They said if it wasn’t for John, Adrienne would go around with Tim. OH SHIT! Wish I was more outgoing. Fiona still shitty but not as much as before, cos in History, tried to tell her how I’ve changed (she didn’t really like that.) They’re going to CHSS Fete tomorrow. I’m not. Going to work & stay at Dad’s the night. (Jaqui & Anthony won’t be there.) Thinking this arvy how (god I’m ashamed to say this) it would be good to have Shane S. as a “best” friend. Could go to park on Fri’s & talk or something. Stupid, huh?!! But it’d surely be different from a girl friend. (Couldn’t tell as much) Tonite played Trivial Pursuit. Back is sore. Am bugared!! Late nite 12:15

Saturday 10/8/85

Woke early today, shit!! But “slept” in and dad came early. Rushed (& forgot diary & undies & bras!) Anyhow, at work, did a poster for Dad’s “mystery cruise”, next Saturday night (A.O.) [meaning Adults Only] on the “Cougar out to Michalmus Cay (or is it?) HA HA!! Anyhow did more work. Got $24, but dad’ll bank half for me. Went home but mum wasn’t there, so couldn’t get underwear. Went to Penwardens. Was abit boring. Got hay fever from cat. Practically no diet today – hot dog banana fritter, chinese dinner, caramel tart, pavlova, lemon mousse. Talkabout breaking a diet!! Jaqui & Anthony didn’t go camping. She is still out now (it’s 1:30.) We’re going to bed. Gonna watch “The Day After” about the day after a nuclear bomb. or will I?? See how I feel

Sunday 11/8/85

Jacqui didn’t come home (when we woke at 9:30) the outside light was still on. We went home at lunchtime. I wasted the afternoon I should have been doing my poetry assignment. God I’m a shit of a dickhead. Ate again today had fruit loops 4 brekky at dad’s (& ate crumbs from caramel tart) & had a “frenzy” icecream (Like Sly cones) Did a bitta HW, before. Wrote a list of things I’ll want for my camp & 4 summer. $300 approx total. God!! huh?!! Am gonna watch the DAY AFTER. Well I might to go to bed ½ way thru. Am tired!!

Swearing, Hitting & Falling off Bikes (29 July-4 Aug)

Published on July 29, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 29/7/85

The best piece of news I could have gotten today (besides winning the lotto, or something) was that Steven doesn’t like Anna. Not hate (like he does Lucy) I think!?! (I hope – nah!) but just doesn’t like enough. I like him enough! Didn’t got to aerobics. Was supposed to (starting today) jog at the park to lose weight. Didn’t do that either cos’ got my Dolly. [The ultimate procrastination!] Didn’t get haircut either cos’ Annette was booked out (I’m going Thursday, now.) But today when I told everyone how I wanted my haircut – most said they like it the way it is now. Tina got frantic when I told her I wanted my fringe trimmed. She said “if you get your fringe cut, get it cut up to here.” (whereupon she pointed at her scalp.) She also stated that she didn’t like Anna’s haircut (when fiona told Anna, they all said they hated her but I didn’t.) Also today, my neck was sore. Think it’s out of place.

Tuesday 30/7/85

Deodourant wore off quickly today. Is starting to get warmer. Also 2 nails (the longest on my left hand) were broken at lunchtime. We swore (on the oval) to hit each other each time we swore. Everyone hits me all the time. If I hit fiona cos’ she swore, Lucy’d hit me. So if I swore fiona’d hit me, I’d hit her back & she’d hit me again & so on. Riding tomorrow. BP test tomorrow. Maths WESTPAC competition test tomorrow. Sports day on Friday. Think my ears (earring holes) are infected

Wednesday 31/7/85

At “last minute” Fiona rings to say she can’t ride cos’ her Dad’s sick & her mum went into the shop instead so she had to help Stuart get off to school & get Da’s breakfast. So just me & Beka rode. It was a bad luck day. On the way to school, I slipped off (over) my bike on gravel & grazed my hand & knee (left). Westpac Maths Competition – I’ll be lucky to get 50/100, BP I think I will fluke most of the answers & worst of all, on the way home, BEKA had a prang on railway tracks. She hurt her knees, knuckles & head. (much worser than me) Went to the “Dunstan’s” for tea. Yummy! (Ate heaps! Watched walt disney shows on video)

Thursday 1/8/85

Late night last night. Got about 7 hrs sleep, tho’.. Haircut not trim & it looks stupid!!!! No joke. It is shit & couldn’t find any plain, white sandshoes. I mean wat’s the world coming to?? No plain old (good ole) sandshoes. Unbelievable. Sport day tomorrow. Will have to wear my white leather ones. Gonna wear something in my hair to cover it up, too. Wish I could re-run today. Hated it. Ian C. called me ugly again. Dunno if he was joking or not, but it does hurt you to be told to your face how ugly you are. [I have tried a number of times to make a comment here, about this but it really speaks for itself. It demonstrates well the power of words, even if harmless in intent, as I know this would have been. As children we can be oblivious but as adults we need to choose our words wisely, since none of us ever knows what is going on in the minds of those to whom we direct them. Having said that, it is Human to err so we need to exercise tolerance – and forgiveness thereof – for “sins committed against us”!]

Friday 2/8/85

I’m cold at the moment – not. I’m not, I jest feel as if it’s cold (it is) Like not cold, but my teeth chatter a little bit. Carnival was good. Got burnt on face, legs & little Δ shape on chest where shirt was. [Except that that triangle would have been upside down, wearing a V-necked T-shirt] Sunny. Excellent weather despite the wind. Tim S. is Trinity. Jeez, he’s a fast runner!! 1st in his 100 & 200 m races!! Anyhow, we won again!! 3rd year in a row!! Clifton 2nd, then Ellis & Kewarra. Am bugared. now. watched movie. Going to sleep at Lucy’s tomorrow 4 her birthday party: I dunno now who I like better – Tim or Steven!!

Saturday 3/8/85

Woke up & decided to HW. Did not get any done. I don’t know why!! But, as I started to get rid of (using my depilatory cream) about 4 weeks growth of underarm hair, mrs b. pulled in at our place. So with a tissue & plastic scraper, ridded myself of the yellow gunk. (I ended up shaving off the hair at Lucy’s) So, around 1:00 I packed my bags and went to Lucy’s. Not long after I arrived (about 15 mins) Beka came then about 5-3 mins after her; Fiona. We talked most of the arvy away – confessing wot we liked & hated about each other. (Won’t explain that!) Watched a little TV. Mr W. went out about 6:30 & [at this point, I’d filled the available space, so continued over the page and ran the entry straight through into Sunday’s…]

Sunday 4/8/85

we cooked our own tea. Late nite, too. was about 1:30-2:00 before we got to sleep. Played some games in that time. Was cold when we went to sleep (Mr W. came home about 12-1:00) Slept badly – kept waking up to the cold & wierd little dreams.Woke 8:30. Left 9:30. No breakfast there – just up!! clean up!! get dressed!! & go!! (Mr W. was at church.) so, at home today, bludged. S’posed to do HW, but didn’t. Played with makeup. Went out to give dad something & we (Jules & me) got our birthday prezzy’s from Papa $20. (and mine from Jenny – a fake pink crystal necklace orrright.) feel so guilty cos’ I was angry at Papa for not sending a prezzy. but paid no consideration to the 2 heart attacks from which he has only just recovered. [At least I know what ‘remorse’ is] Edna his new wife looks kind & funny (I mean humorous in personality.) Also went to Nell & Amanda’s. All of them think I’m pretty. If it’s true, why is there no proof (boyfriends)?? [Ah, the complexity – or impossibility? – of answering a question such as this…]

Gross Girlie Stuff & the Cairns Show (15-21 July)

Published on July 15, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 15/7/85

Shitty day today. First I hear news that Fiona is going to the show with Jemima no – sorry – GREG. invited her. Upset over that – but, fiona wants me to come with them. (then I’d be left out – so I might just go with Justine instead – more fun 2 than with 7) Secondly. my period PES – gushed out (wearing only tampon) undies soaked. [Oh to be female. If you have a ‘weak stomach’ for these human biological functions, I recommend you quit reading here-now because this drama – its description & detail – comprises the rest of the days’ entry…and some!] pad in BP: 5th period – gushed out. At loos, took out tampon – old pad soaked put in loo paper. End big lunch – on my skirt (Jumper round my hips) More loo paper between 6th & 7th periods – pad after skool from office. At home – skirt covered in blood. Lucky had a jumper. Am stuffed

Tuesday 16/7/85

I can’t believe how heavy my periods are. I wore one of mum‘s tampons today (longer & thicker) & that wore out about only 3hrs later! Went thru 3 tampons & 3 pads & still my pants were stained – today was lucky my skirt didn’t. Riding tomorrow. Won’t take my jumper cos’ weather’s getting warmer, however if I do leak – nothing to hide it. Shit. Cross fingers!! Wot about in Summer – when I can’t take a jumper anyway? OH NO!! [Fortunately this entire experience was the worst I’ve ever suffered, at least as far as I can recall now. Many women endure much worse on a regular basis throughout their lives so I am very grateful.] Going with Justine to show. Try not to meet Lucy. Also don’t wanna stay near Fi etc too long (don’t wanna have to drool over Steven) also cos this arvy (at Lucy’s new flat in Springfield Estate!!) Jemima didn’t seem too friendly. OH well. I can’t help it.

Wednesday 17/7/85

Nana bought round a choice of books by those authors Mr Van Slooten gave us & I took two (one’s whose titles he had mentioned, I think.) I have now actually started on book! Am gonna read for a little while now cos’ I’m up to ch.9 (there’s only 5 to go!) Didn’t get much HW done. Riding – my hands were numb – red raw & frozen. Next time I’ll wear gloves. Not joking. [Well, nothing’s changed – seems I’ve always had poor circulation. My hands and feet are always icy, just ask the clients I train in winter!] Am tired – cranky. Periods easing now – think for show I’ll only need a tampon – mum’s just in case. I’m confused about who I have a crush on – I say not Tim but ? when I see him, I’m not so sure. Now I haven’t seen Steven, I’m not so sure – but one thing: I’m still jealous of Anna (& Fi cos’ I don’t want her to go with Greg again) [So obvious to me now that it had little to do with the boys – it was simply that I didn’t want to be alone.]

Thursday 18/7/85

Today went slow. Didn’t find out whether Tim is going tomorrow or not, but Julia said she saw Melissa C & Tia tonight. I’m sick already (probably with excitement) but I hope I’m not going to be on the rides tomorrow. [Not much of a daredevil, it took me a few years – and my Dad – to get me on my first ‘big-person’s’ show ride, and my innards were sometimes too eager to react to the forces of motion. In your teens, when the event’s social aspect becomes even more significant, the last thing you want is to be green around the gills…] I want to meet lots of people. I bought some new nail polish (bright red to go with my outfit) & some mousse (to do something with my lifeless hair.) Also wanna get some chapstick (lip protector) My “Bonne Bell” is run out & Julia said it was cold here so imagine the wind on the rides!!

Friday 19/7/85

[the original diary had printed “Katherine Show Day” on this date and I wrote next to it:] & Cairns!! [Excited much?]

Today I can’t remember much what happened except that I didn’t do very much HW, I went to Lucy’s (to tell her where we’d meet her – but she kept me there for over an hour.) & in my exceptionally good timetable for preparing for the show I ran out of time & got upset & cranky – but everything worked out OK.. [Another wonderful aspect of OCD – driven by pure excitement of course – that I thankfully grew out of before I left school: writing up ‘toilette schedules’ for big social events… which invariably always went awry.] show was alright. Not the best I’ve been to. Did meet Lucy (were late so she was shitty) Went on heapsa rides – chipmunk!! yep! 3 times!! I love it!! [The Chipmunk was the only roller coaster ride at the Cairns Show. I am guessing, from the way I have reported it, that this was the first year I’d had the courage to give it a go. Evidently a winner!] Saw Tina, Gordan C & many others. Met steven, anna etc. felt terrible – could see Steven practically spewing over Lucy!! Want to apologize to him. [It’s funny how I used to – and perhaps sometimes still do – tend to ‘take blame’ for things that are out of my control. In this instance I’d say it all boiled down to me badly wanting to impress Steven, and ‘failing’ because all ‘I’ brought him was discomfort. What a warped sense of responsibility!] Ate a bit. Tim wasn’t there (I confessed to Justine – she thinks he’s got the ‘hots’ for Melissa C.) OHH! NOO!!

Saturday 20/7/85

Bugared! Got to sleep ’bout 1:00. Woke 8:00 today. Read my book. In fact read it most of the day. Is a twisted book – story good but presentation twisted. [I’d LOVE to know what it was so I could re-read it now.] Did all other HW except main ones – English & Maths. Study 4 maths & do english essay tomorrow (have to write an essay under EXAM CONDITIONS) My nose is blocked – sneezy & my left ear is blocked. Also had a brief dizzy spell after bath. Hope I don’t have the dreaded flu that’s already killed 26 people nationally.. [I’m not certain what kind of flu this was, and have tried Googling it. Bird flu was recorded in Victoria in 1985 but there was no mention of human deaths as a result.]

Sunday 21/7/85

Supposed to write my english essay today & study for maths test. However, when I awoke, I decided to complete reading my book as I only had 5 Ch’s left. Took me until 2:00. So then I attempted my essay. Began writing about the thoughts of a fat girl, [potentially autobiographical in nature no doubt, since my body image was poor] but hated it, so got upset cause couldn’t think what to write about. Mum took me out & we got a sly cone. At home time passed & I got more upset. Decided finally at 4:30 to do about an ocker [meaning “stereotypically Australian” for those who are unacquainted with our national slang] BBQ. Have notes but must write the essay & learn off by ♥. Also have yet to study maths → SO MUCH work!

Cold Weather & A ‘Stranger’ for Tea (3-9 June)

Published on June 29, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 3/6/85

Warmer today. Cool spell has gone – is warming up, now. Pooey! Julia went to doctor’s. She has 2 throat infections. Will not be going to skool 4 the rest of the week. [My sister was often sick, compared to me. Tonsillitis was her ‘specialty’!] Mum wants money refunded 4 julias camp. I got hiccups in science. Couldn’t get rid of them – really loud! Annoyed Fiona, too. At home, I felt sick thought I was coming down with Julia’s Flu. It passed after dinner. Praybon dropped Tina & asked Anna today. She hasn’t replied. No wonder Tina was in a BAD mood in Art…. I told Fi I was going to aerobics & I couldn’t go feeling sick. I just missed her when I rang to tell her → she’ll probably crack 2morrow (unless mim went)

Tuesday 4/6/85

Today it got cool & I forgot my jumper … so I froze. Sold about…5 brooches earned only $1.60 cos’ paid back some people (Lucy & Beka) to whom I owed money. Did hardly any HW & NO STUDY. I must really try to cos’ these exams are important (mum’s not going to Cooktown now cos’ of them!) Anna isn’t going with Praybon yet, but in German, next to tina, she only talked about him. I didn’t know wot to say to her. [One of Life’s difficult moments.] Wizzed thru’ maths 2day. Got a whole ch. almost finished. Tim is a distant person, now. I hardly ever see him & least of all, he appears to not even notice me. Oh woe is me!

Wednesday 5/6/85

Cold today. There’s a cold front moving up the coast, (according to Fiona!) Forgot (almost) about speech, but got there early – went to mima’s She was on the phone to Brent (Steven B. was with him) mima ended up setting up Steven with me (describing me to him etc.) Brent said I looked like Madonna!! But, cos I was getting excitedly nervous, she reset him with Lucy who had the guts to talk to him on the ‘phone! I’m sorry, now. [Some evidence of the shyness which those who know me find hard to believe I posses. Having grown up with predominantly female energy around me, merely talking to boys was an unnerving experience.] Started to study tonight, just a bit. But I must do more. Will stay late tonight. Got a book out from book room. TT#3 Mr (Fuckhead) Carter made me go out of archery into “field” for PES cos’ no one would volunteer. I can’t jump or throw for nuts. Fuckin cunt. [Whoa, HEAVY language. I had no idea I knew that word back then, let alone used it.]

Thursday 6/6/85

Glad I didn’t forget a jumper today ! (Not that I would have [well you did on Tuesday, Silly-billy]) I had it on all day. IT WAS COLD!! & tonite, doing study, my fingers & toes, I swear, could have snapped off! [Good to know that my poor circulation isn’t just an old-age thing!] Mad rush to book room after skool to get History & 2 more science texts. Also had art folder & 2 art texts to carry. Thought my bag would break! No lunch-time. Late out of BP & had to go straight into english for viewing test. (which I’ve prob’ly failed) Man came 4 tea [Well, this is random. The only man I could imagine coming for tea, whom would not need naming, would have been mum’s partner Geoff. It’s bizarre to think some other bloke might’ve come over and I didn’t say for what reason, or at the very least, mention his name.] Have still 2 units to go in Science. Probly another late nite. I must do well, now. Is cool …. GOODY!!

Friday 7/6/85

I think I got a high [achievement] (at least) in science and a very high in BP!! Science was quite straight-forward. I think I might have made a few careless mistakes, too. (as well as in BP) My trial balance didn’t work out & I didn’t have time to correct it. Cold!! Freezing!! Is so windy!! Didn’t study at home this arvy – Just sorted out my books. Made Fimo badges.- 3 more – only just took them out – they’re burnt!! Just a bit off-colour. Forgot to put on deodourant today!! Dad was on local news [I wonder what for? I don’t recall, and:] (I didn’t see him – mima rang to tell me – also asked me to come up on Sunday to study) Watching movie about French Revolution. Magnificent costumes!!

Saturday 8/6/85

Today was a big waste of time. I s’pose I got a bit of work done (in art) but NO STUDY. Was cool – I ate one hell of a lot. (mint chocolate custard) Am watching movie. Is good. Listened to tapes today. Discovered I do like Duran Duran – well, their music, at least. But WHAM! rules!! My skin on my face has really dry areas – don’t know how to fix them up. Also, can’t stop squeezing pimp’s & blackheads on my nose & my eyebrows are too thin; I always pluck too much off them too.) Going to mima’s to study.

Sunday 9/6/85

I went to Jemima’s. They weren’t there. I went to Fi’s. They were having brekky. We tried to study, but couldn’t. Went to Jemima’s. I tried to study, but couldn’t. (Ended up only doing Maths – a bit.) Brent rang once. Went home ’bout ½hr after a prank call. Got some songs on Countdown. Went to Diane & Kerry’s for tea. Watched “Trading Places” with Eddie Murphy. FUNNNY!! Studied a bit of maths, too. Today mim told me that Steven doesn’t want to see Lucy, now. He thinks looks are 90% of a girl. [There’s a damn good reason NOT to be interested in a guy like him] Brent must said some terrible things about Lucy!! But I’m not even 2% good looks. [There you have it – another wonderful illustration of my level of self-love.]

Séances, Black Forest Cakes & A Retainer Brace (6-12 May)

Published on June 25, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 6/5/85

I was bored today. I think this long weekend has gone so slow. It’s cos’ I bin bored – I’m gonna keep saying to fiona (after every weekend) “what did you do on the weekend?” & when she asks me wot I did, every time I will reply “-oh, u know, the usual boring weekend I always have.” – Today I watched TV, ate, an’ even made up a new exercise plan which I will start 2morrow. The Bests came out in the arvy. We went to the park (there’s a slippery slide there 2, now!) Watched TV, went back (they’d gone by then.) Watching TV now. Have had a bath & tea. Did a poo just a few minutes ago. [Too much information? Thanks to “the Coxen Bowel Fetish”] Feel better. Am determined 2 have an early nite 2nite

Tuesday 7/5/85

Only 2 days of skool this week!! Going to the orthodontist tomorrow to get a plate – my 2 front teeth have started to ‘space’ again. I need the plate to hold them permanently – but I don’t need the late permanently!! Felt like rubbing it into Fiona about my lonely, boring week ends 2day, but couldn’t. Was hot. Sleepy, too. Art is due Fri (assignment) so German Camp kids get to hand it in on Mon. Just as well cos’ I haven’t started!! Got clay today. Made last things tonite after HW. a brandy snap, 2 doughnuts and a cream’n’strawberry tart. Is another early nite 4 me 2 nite. Exercises this morning took alot less time!

Wednesday 8/5/85

Was busy today. Had to try and remember so much! German Camp health form, art money, swimming gear, art texts etc – god!! Had period 7 instead of period 1 (don’t know why) BP instead of History. Neither one any fun. Did paintings in art. My clay work’s drying slowly. Tim is a hunk! Mum picked us up after swimming (glorious day the stinger net’s gone!!) [For those who don’t know, some deadly marine stingers inhabit the coastal waters of North Queensland for many months of the year (approximately November-May) so swimming at beaches is only possible where the special stinger-net enclosures are based.] Got my ‘plate’ at orthodontist. It’s called a retainer brace – a bit fits in the roof of your mouth and wires (just one) goes round your smile! At speech mima said “Do you want to go out with Steven? He’s your height and quite spunky”. I changed the subject. Why? I just got nervous! (Jemima said (when I asked her) that she didn’t set Neville & me up. At another National Trust meeting. Have to wake early tomorrow to pack, etc. I’m gonna be soooo tired.

Thursday 9/5/85

Got everything done this morning! Even got a ‘white’ costume – I’ll be snow WHITE! Shame job at skool. I wore shorts (but that wasn’t the bad bit) Everyone musta thort we were crazy to go on a German Camp. [I don’t quite understand what’s SO ‘shameful’ about this. Unless it was considered ‘daggy’…but we were getting time off from school, so…?] But ….got Dorm. 2 again (5 of us + natalie & tania P.) Did activities like wotch slides (boring) & made paper beads (boring) While we did that, fiona’s group did skit & made Black ForestCake. Food was alright. Swam – was cold but very refreshing. Had disco 2 nite cos’ something wrong with Film. Was silly – no one danced. Have a feeling 2nite will be late.

Friday 10/5/85

Late nite got to sleep ’round 12:30. Others told ghost stories, so I blocked my ears & dozed. [Yes I was a scaredy-cat. And I still detest horror films. I don’t see the point of stressing myself with negative images & thoughts.] Fi & Beka on their way 2 loos ran into a snake. Wots worse, when we all called “snake” & “Mr Pudniks” [one of the teachers] no one came!! Were woken early for a walk. Long walk. Practised our concert items after brekky. We (Shane, Natalie, Tanya ‘n’ Justine ‘n’ me) had to perform Bremen Musicians on cards (I drew ’em of course.) After our skits, had free time. Swam – Had lunch then concert (u guessed it – ) on film! We won best act – got choccy! Made & ate our Black Forest Cake after another swim. Lucy, Fi & me talked about what we didn’t like about each other. After Bath’n’ tea, watched Film. Not so gut [german for ‘good’] as last year. Rushed ending. Probably ‘nother late nite 2 nite. The others want to hold a sayonce. [You guessed it – I meant séance] Wish some spunks came. Tim or someone!! !!

Saturday 11/5/85

Last nite had big joke session after unsuccessful sayonces. Then another sayonce (unsuccessful) then sleep. Too tired to look at watches. Coulda been after 12 // No walk this morning, didn’t swim 2day. This camp was good! Wade ‘courting’ Jenny (we think (cos’ we thort we overheard him torking to Ian) [not keen on this ‘cutesy’ phonetic spelling I seem to like falling into every so often. I DID know how to spell ‘talking’…] he thinks “she’s the only one who’d do anything” and “the rest are moles”.) After brekky, packed and rest of morning (Besides session of scrabble & pancake making (and eating) and lunch) was free time. Boys came to our dorm, cos’ Jenny left early. We must be 2nd best! Had a whip fight with sapling branches. Free time – till parents came. Shane is nice – still a fond friend I think! At home, (Julia bought me 3 popsicles to win a prize in this competition. We’re close to winning PANAM HOLIDAY to Disney & Hawaii, or a stereo getto blaster or computer. Then I unpacked, bathed and slept 3hrs! TIRED!! Bests are here 4 tea. I’m off 2 have some baked alaska! [I remember this! Mum’s one & only attempt at Baked Alaska. She did well, but I think the amount of work that went into it was enough to put her off trying to make it ever again.] Lateish nite I s’pose.

Sunday 12/5/85

Today had to do English Book Review talk & art assignment. Wasn’t in the mood, but struggled and got English talk done in between reading magazines, eating and lazing ’round. Had shower and we went to Dad’s new house Is nice! Pretty big too. Got ½ art assignment written – rough copy. Today was MUMS DAY gave mum only a home-made button bracelet but dad bought round a plant 4 us to give 2 her. Lateish nite