tantrum – Page 2 – A Life in Words

Portable Music, Leeches & Short Short Hair (23-29 December)

Published on December 23, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Scrawled across the top of the pages opening to Sun 22nd & Mon 23rd Dec: Have got to get a new (’86) Diary – look how fast 1985 is going!!

Monday 23/12/85

I only really ever start to feel hot at night when I come into my room – it is a very hot room. I need a fan or something like it. Went to Justine’s today (didn’t sleep in this morning) around 10:30. She came here (I gave her her choccys & at her place, she gave me my prezzy – pretty frost-colour nail polish.) At her place (we rode there) we talked, swam, watched videos (Inspector Gadgets & Countdowns) & also listened to Justine’s new walkman – it’s unreal! There’s no normal headphones – just ear-plug type things really groovy!! & it’s auto reverse! (You don’t have to turn the tape over – it plays the alternate side automatically.) ITS GREAT!! Hope I get a walkman – really want one now. [The birth of portable music! I still forget that most people younger than me have no idea what a cassette tape is. And auto-reverse? Pfft! It’s interesting that the large headphones are making a comeback, after I frothed here about the tiny ear bud ones.] Went late night. Yes Monday late night for the late Xmas shoppers. Julia got some togs. Mum got the present Julia’s going to give me & we all looked at tapes. Can’t wait to buy them!! Early-ish nite.

Tuesday 24/12/85

Woke early – lazed around all morning (watched a bit of TV, etc) We’re minding the Fishers’ birds & Julia & I cleaned the cage today. Julia went to the movies (saw Teen Wolf with (hunky) Michael J. Fox – the one I wanna see.) Meanwhile mum & I went to take Nana to hospital – her arthritis is getting really bad lately (took her, for eg, over 1 hour to stand up out of bed this morning – Bad, huh?) [Rheumatoid arthritis is apparently hereditary. Mum began to get her symptoms around the age of 50 but her sister hasn’t suffered from it at all. I am wondering who of my sister & I will be the lucky recipient. I have had my rheumatoid factor checked by my GP and there’s nothing at the moment. Considering rheumatoid arthritis is an auto-immune disease, I am hoping that my relatively strict healthy lifestyle defers any chance I have of contracting it.] Then we did miscellaneous shopping (the Bloodbank was shut – thank god – it woulda bin boring waiting for mum) Watched TV at home. Got a postcard from Fi she thought my letter was great!! She actually laughed!! AND she also got her hair cut SHORT!! Now, that’s impelled me to get mine short…like this. [See the photo of the original diary entry, below. This was clearly one of those times I’d run out of space on the original day and carried over to the next day’s page (I want) Back: layered Is 9:50. Open prezzies 2morrow!! UNREAL!!

Wednesday 25/12/85

I can’t help feeling guilty about feeling “deprived” with (some) no, truthfully – most of my presents. Mainly the clothes, tho. All shirts 2 night shirts, 3 daywear. I hate them all. And I am terribly ashamed at the same time. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. But I HATE them. Yuk Yuk Yuk Yuk. I won’t use them – that’s a TERRIBLE waste. [Here it is again. The truth behind my apparent Ingratitude. I despise waste. Of any kind. But here, it’s the idea that my loved ones have wasted their money on things that I didn’t want.] (Today we watched TV – thrilling, huh?? Visited Nana – boring?? Yep. Then watched TV again thrilling, huh??) BORING XMAS DAY. I’m getting all worked up again, now. Sposed to be happy, merry etc …. I hear all people on the radio saying got heaps of clothes which they all love – it’s not fair. Why can’t people satisfy me?? [Fussy. I have always been ‘particular’. Clothes, food, men, routine…] NOT FAIR Late night (11:00 overcast day today

Thursday 26/12/85

Ate sooo much junk today. All I had that was “good” was 2 “Good Start” biscuit (brekky biscuits) + 1 piece ham + some home-made chips. All the rest (and there was heaps of it) was junk – pure junk (lollies, cashews, shortbread, chocolate, fruit cake etc) [Um yeah… with hindsight, I’d now say the only “good” was the cashews and home-made chips. Breakfast biscuits certainly aren’t good for you and I barely touch ham now because it’s full of nitrites] YUK. I watched TV all day. Mum made our shorts out of our material. They’re sooo cute (I like mine best, but) – Although mine need a few minor adjustments. Visited Nana later, too. Well, looks like BOXING DAY ’85 was more boring than my average weekend spent doing HW, during school. Great, huh? Oh, well. Tomorrow am gonna get haircut not the perm + togs & watchband (I’m gonna take my old white digital watch to Davies Creek [going camping with Dad] cos’ it’s water resistant to 30m (I think) which means I can swim with it) cos the old one’s broken + Hopefully our walkmans will be at Big W. And we’ll get all the tapes we want from Chandlers (CAN’T WAIT!!) Is 9:45 pretty early 2 nite, huh?!

Friday 27/12/85

FRIDAY DEC. 27. Y’know I still haven’t got a diary for ’86 yet. (Yes I did! I got it today – unfortunately it’s just like this – there are NO diaries anywhere. (that are bigger, that is.)) Got a red singlet & blue togs just like julia’s (but one size larger – 12) + white sunnies which I love!! + a stupid, cheap watchband for my old white watch. Nana came out of hospital. AND I GOT MY HAIR CUT SHORT!! Very short. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it, but now I’m used to it I love it except: I’d like the sides, above the ears, cut short. At the moment it’s just a very short bob. Also got the 4 cassettes (Eurythmics, Thompson Twins, Elton John and the Eurogliders + 4 blank cassettes for recording other records e.g. Wham! Tears 4 Fears, Dire Straits etc. Early-ish nite. Gotta pack 2morrow. Also!! Returned the green singlet from Julia to Sportique & (paid an extra $4) got a blue sleeveless T-shirt with deep V back!! UNREEAL!!

Saturday 28/12/85

Dad came late (around 10:30) went shopping (saw Skinner & lotsa people who probably did see my hair) The only one to say anything was Jenny. After shopping, went to Neil M’s & dad helped him put up the out-of-ground pool. Then around 3:30, went to Holloways, Anthony packed for Melbourne (changed his booking to tomorrow instead of Jan 3., so not coming camping) Got here around 5:30. Is beautiful – shady & shallow pools (one deep part) Didn’t bring my plate – deliberately – I don’t think my teeth need it anymore. [Ha!] Pretty late now – had dinner at 9:15. Radio doesn’t work in the car – think it’s only cos’ the batteries are going flat. Wore this ADINA watch in the water – is working fine (water’s cold) Is 10:45 – Pretty cool, too. Nite!

Sunday 29/12/85

Cold last night! (I wasn’t but Julia was.) Woke up a lot, very squeaky every time we moved. [I am assuming this was the air bed we must have been sleeping on. Airbeds tend to be noisy, for those who don’t know.] Today was lazy. Did nothing till about 12:00 when we walked downstream (I got a beesting on my knee) to a giant waterfall (we were at the top of it) & stayed there lazing in the pools. Lotsa leeches (tiny ones) which liked me, but luckily got no chance to suck my blood. Came back around 4:30 – Abbo boys here – thought they might’ve nicked things cos’ they looked pretty sus, but nothing was missing. The Mattheson’s went home around 5:00. I just listened to the radio tonight. Is warmer 10:03 now I’ve swum with my watch & it’s fine – unreal!! I’ll continue wearing it I think!

Pandas & Rainbows & Mary, Queen of Scots (16-22 December)

Published on December 16, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 16/12/85

Am BOILING Just now. wasn’t too bad today – just got hot (noticeably hot) in the last 10 mins. Today was O.K.. Got Julia’s prezzy ( a brightly patterned & coloured singlet) & the other ½ of mum’s (the $30 voucher from Sussan’s.) Got Lucy’s – a plastic novelty (wine) glass from Mr Timothy’s [a local novelty gift store, along the lines of the 80’s franchise Granny May’s] & filled with smarties & the fucking cup broke when mum dropped it. So, now, I won’t have time to get Lucy one cos’ I’m not going to the movies. Fuck that I haven’t got any money. But I’ve gotta see Lucy tomorrow – to give her a present & that book. Saw Steven B today. Is a spunk but I don’t feel for him (like Mark too) as I still do for Sean. Tim’s a blurry shadow. Yuk. Early-ish (hot) nite.

Tuesday 17/12/85

Went to Earlville with Julia this morning till about 12:30. Got Nana’s, mima’s, Lucy’s (new one), Fi’s & Beka’s presents. Nana – 2 prs stockings [oh my dear Nana…who used to wear stockings year round, because it’s just what you did. Regardlless of heat and/or humidity. Such a staunch traditionalist] & 1 bottle of perfume & for Lucy, Beka mima & fiona, acrylic patterned glasses ‘filled’ with smarties & M&Ms. Have to give Lucy hers tomorrow. Gotta get Geoff’s & Justine’s now. Thank god. Will, hopefully, have some leftover too. Ate sooo much today – lotsa chocolate. Feel so fat & bloated. [There’s a good indication there of my ability to sense the effects of poor food choices…er, even if it is only emotional (guilt) at this stage.] Is humid not hot. Am tired – having an early nite (9:10) Wrapped all the prezzys & made little ‘tag’ cards. Thinking of making Nin some decorations & a tree but remember she’s going away. [Now at what stage in life did I lose this creative desire? Gift tags, christmas decorations? These days I’m hard pressed giving any card with a present. And I hardly ever bother with a christmas tree.] Everyone is. Xmas & New Year will be boring this year. (Got in a big cranky rage this arvy – terrible – swear like hell & throwing things & slamming doors. Am HOT now. Tired. Nite. PS looked for new diaries – found none

Wednesday 18/12/85

The only time I really start to feel hot & sticky is at night. Am soooo HOT!! Early nite – watched last episode of Sons & Daughters for ’85 [Really? I didn’t know Sons and Daughters was still going in ’85] Country Practise’s last episode is tomorrow night. Today I ate soooooooooooo much. Am getting terribly fat in the stomach again (again? You mean as usual!) Feel ashamed. Today, Lucy left. I went around to her place around 9:45. Helped her finish packing etc. Picked up Beka & went to the airport. Was all very quick I didn’t cry – Mrs Warner, Beka & Jane did – my eyes watered a little. Gonna miss her – will try to write letters (if not, notes will do) per week & send them down in bunches. [Well, the thought is admirable. Am fairly sure that didn’t happen…] this arvy I ate, watched TV, ate, drew & vegetated. That’s about my style. AM HOT. Is 8:45PM SLEEPY – NITE!!

Thursday 19/12/85

Lazy day. Was tired – got up – did a bit of drawing, then spent the rest of the day in my bedroom, on my bed, listening to the radio & tapes and reading through old ‘Dolly’ magazines. Then rode down to hairdressers. Spent a lot of time deciding what to do with my hair (everyone ‘except Geoff & me think I should have short hair… YUK!!) Finally, just got a little trim & an Inch off the back – nice’n’short (-ish) now!! Casual, cool!! Watched TV at home, then went to park – no big thrill till Julia, Fiona, Rachel, Melanie & Melinda decided to strip me. I stormed home. Got into tears. Absolutely thrashed Julia when mum called her home. Then had a BIG fight. Julia rang dad. Mum got upset & cried. Poor mum, I feel the strain she bears, now. Will try to help more. Start by doing some housework & cooking meals. Late nite. Not too HOT now. Am tired. Nite.

Friday 20/12/85

Mum & I went shopping today, at Kmart & Big W (Earlville) I’ve now finished my Xmas list!! (Geoff – put towards a $20 shirt (mum paid rest) & Justine – a box a choccies) Also, got $20 from papa to spend. Dunno what to get – will ask mum if she can get me something (I love surprises!) [….as long as I like what I’m given…] Watched movie am bugared – Dunno why I did. Also, went to Richardson’s & got pretty material with Pandas & rainbows!! Can’t wait to make the shorts!! They’ll be unreal!! [Oh I remember those! There was a time when women’s boxers or pajama-style shorts – to be worn as outerwear – came in, so the ‘cuter’ the fabric print, the better.] Wasn’t too hot today; then again, we were in air conditioning most of the day. Is almost 11:00 – must get some sleep

Saturday 21/12/85

Is 10:50. Very boring day today. I read through a dictionary (believe it or not) to sort out some Greek & Latin roots & looked at the Australian vocabulary. [Reading a dictionary? Now that is TRUE Boredom. I actually remembering doing that though. And had full intentions of continuing.] Also did some doodling of hairstyles. Am thinking of getting my hair layered & permed & setting it like Lucy’s. Dunno, but. Went to the Drive In. Saw Police Academy 2 & ‘Doin’ Time’. Alright. Bit funny. Ate a fair bit, too. Umah! Did a little housework today. (believe it or not) Also Beka came around & got her bike (‘cos I called her) Also gave her her present. Now have only 2 more to get rid of. Was strangely tired today – ultimately lethargic. Maybe I need more sleep, or exercise or something. [Bingo to the exercise guess.]

Sunday 22/12/85

Got up late – I actually slept in! (Till only 8:30, though.) I just read the Dolly (January’s) and the morning flew by!! In the arvy I drew a bit, watched the movie (on TV) Mary, Queen of Scots – which I enjoyed immensely!! I love historical movies! Justine rang – we talked for yonks!! Got ready & went to dad’s for Xmas tea. Filling!! I got $1.20 worth of coins in my plum pudding!! Then I got 25c extra from other people who didn’t want theirs For my prezzies from Anthony, dad & Jenny, see the last page of “Notes” (where all others will be listed, too) [My ‘recording obsession’ meant that I had to log all the gifts I received, and not wanting to waste valuable daily diary space, I usually found another area in the diary, in which I could compile the all-important information. This extended to ordinary days when I felt I had more to say but couldn’t fit it in on the actual diary page. So there may be an extra blogpost, or an extra long blogpost, when I reach the year’s end…] Really wanna start’n’shape up my figure – wanna exercise & slim right down. Is a bit hot. Late night again. Going to J’s (Justine’s) tomorrow for swim → GREAT!! Is about 10:45. Am tired

School Stress, Creature Invasions & the Mullet (11-17 November)

Published on November 11, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 11/11/85

Got the official letter of acceptance into the art course. Have decided to accept, however I’ll give them notice that I may reject it over the holidays. Had my haircut. Is nothing like how I wanted it. God, Annette’s docile. Now I look almost bald on top & my hair is long & thick at the bottom. [Hmm, that sounds suspiciously like a mullet? Every reason to be unhappy in that case.] And my survey-sheets (so many of them) were misprinted etc – that added to my anger so I had a good ole cry session. (and swearing & throwing things around.) IS BOILING we NEED fans. Can’t stand the heat. [Anyone who has lived in, or visited Cairns between October & March should have an idea of exactly how horrendous it would be to live without fans, let alone air conditioning. Aircon? Pfft, only pussies live in the Tropics with a fully air conditioned house. One of my friends put it perfectly many years ago when he said “What’s the point in living in the tropics if you go from your air conditioned house, to your air conditioned car, to your air conditioned workplace/gym/shopping centre & back again? You have to experience the climate in at least one of those environments!” But… fans would be nice.] Also need flyscreens for doors & windows cos’ toads galore & the usual bugs etc are getting in. [We had a beautifully designed (for the tropics) ground level house, with many french doors and floor to ceiling louvre windows. Brilliant natural ventilation (albeit without fans for those hot still times, that wasn’t useful) however at night with the emergence of insects seeking light and toads seeking insects, we had a literal menagerie of unwanted amphibians arthropods and reptiles in the form of geckos make their way into our abode. Now I’m not at all an animal hater, and I like camping but it can be quite annoying on a day-in-day-out basis.] Now have 7 assignments – 2 english, 2 History, 1 PES and 2 english exam ones (of course there’s another History exam one, too.) FUCKIN’ HELL

Tuesday 12/11/85

Went to presentation rehearsals from 9:15 to 1:15. For that time (except once) I remained seated, doing NOTHING. BORING! The acts were silly but tonite at the actual thing everything was so much better. Minor mishaps. Not many. Got home from skool & rushed into town at 4:20. Borrowed $50 off dad & tried to find a dress. Looked in the City Girl Boutiques. Tried on heaps of dresses & I mean heaps! Finally got a white (with whole floral print) drop waist with buttons up front, & V shaped low collar. BEATIFUL. My hair stayed in place too! Did no HW Is now 11:00. Am bugared – nite!!

Wednesday 13/11/85

I gave Mr Roff my acception [er, acceptance] & he said (after my suggestion) that it would be good to let him know whether I will go or not, when I come back to school to get my Junior Certificate on Dec.6. I have now 10 assign’s 5 english (2 hand in – 3 exams) 3 Hist (2 hand in – 1 exam) 1 (exam) german 1 PES!! GREAT, HUH?!! I’m not going to get it done. TOO BAD, HUH??! NO!! NOT “too bad”. I MUST GET THEM DONE. Wasted tonite. Just rang up people to do my survey. Am so tired: just watched 1986 Miss Australia (Miss NSW won again.) They must have it rigged she couldn’t have won in a fit but she did. They always win. Is not too Hot tonite….. I hope! ….

Thursday 15/11/85

Tonight I broke down. Not a proper break-down. I just had a terrible anger-fit then I couldn’t stop crying. I can’t cope. I have 10 assignments (wel 9 now cos’ I finished one off crappily) & I have a (hard) extension test tomorrow which I didn’t get time to study for. I’ll have to work my arse off this weekend. NO SPARE TIME whatsoever. Got my T-shirt almost done in double lesson [art I assume] today will probly need only 2 more lessons at the most (Good cos’ we’ve only got 2 more left on them!) Looks alright, too. Think I will accept but won’t tell anyone but Mr Roff (have to) & probly Julie H if she can keep a secret. Nose is bleeding again. Late nite 10:15

Friday 16/11/85

O! Work, work, work – wonderful (?????) work!! That’s all I seem to be doing now. Is terribly hot. Watched movie – am tired. Mum & Geoff went to Lifestyle ’85. [I have no idea what this event was. Perhaps some kind of expo? These were rare in the 80’s] Julia & I stayed home & mucked around. Maths Extension test was pretty easy. Made 1 or 2 mistakes that I know of already. Have so much work for the weekend – if I do finish my assignments there’s heaps of study to begin. Neville plays the drums – heard him this arvy. I can’t remember correctly, but I think I had another dream about Tim last night (Good, of course!!)

Saturday 17/11/85

Is 11:10am Bugared. Almost finished my History assignment. Just 2 more (or so) pages left I s’pose + tonite, (that’s why I’m having such a late night.) I wrote out notes for my english report. Can’t do the survey cause there’s no point behind it. Am, Insted, doing the “what tribe is that?” article from Dolly. Mr Van won’t know. I’ll change it round cos’ some girls might. [Well, well, well… my first conscious and/or admitted plagiarism!] Also must do book review tomorrow + Shakespeare study + science study. I’ll be bugared!! I wanted to get this Hist. & Eng. report done today so could sunbake a little tomorrow. SHIT! went for a 10 min ride with Lucy around 5:30. Nin & Ruth came for lunch.

Sunday 18/11/85

Ate & Drank far too much today cos’ I had a very sore/irritated throat from sucking back mucus (there was no Sudafed) Plus my nose is running. YUK I feel terrible. [Hmm, catarrh and a runny nose. Sounds pretty much like a viral infection. Stress opening the door to let it in?] BUT I finished 2 essays!!! Got not study done, however. & still have 7 assignments left. THROAT IS KILLING ME. I am so tired. Mum’s going to let me have tuesday off, to study, do assignments. Don’t know if I will cos’ I have double History. Then again, I need the time…… Face is getting bad – more breakouts on my chin & forehead + I have really bad dermatitis on my toes. + there are still no new razors so I had to use a blunt one. YUK!!!!

Stressing, Riding & the Potty-Mouthed Doctor (28 October-3 November)

Published on October 28, 2013August 14, 2018 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 28/10/85

Mum made me apply for a job this morning. I rang up & the woman said I had to paint scenes & things on to coral, wood etc to be sold at Rusty’s Bazaar. Have to go round at 7:15pm tomorrow night for an ‘interview’ Don’t want to – probably are hoons. [Ha! I’ve no idea why I made this assumption about my potential employers, but the fact that mum “made me” apply for the job in the first place is very enlightening. It has made me realise just how much faith she had in my artistic abilities. She would never have forced me to get a job just to earn money – after all, I had work with my dad for that. No, she wanted me to advance my talent. Every so often, even in these later years (I haven’t done any art for decades now) mum would suggest or ask why I don’t do some drawing/painting/art again. She really believed in me. Perhaps I should try again, if only for her.] Anyhow, my interview at CHS went alright. Astia & Ingrid are accepted. Fran came late. Isn’t going to attend even if she is accepted cos’ she’s going to Sydney. I’m having doubts. At school everyone wanted to know how I went. Mrs Marslen was s’posed to ring me & tell me tonite but hasn’t rung yet. Elisia’s also in it & Neville too. & Michelle W. Fairly boring day. Didn’t see Tim at all but was sure he was here. Had a camp meeting. Retrieved my drink bottle!! Heapsa HW didn’t get started till late therefore [I often used 3 dots in the shape of a triangle instead of the word ‘therefore’ because someone had once told me it was shorthand for it] finished late. Is 9:30.

Tuesday 29/10/85

Didn’t go to that interview – rang up & informed that lady that I wasn’t a ‘painter’ & that I was coming into exams & would be too busy to work anyway. She said “that’s alright. Thanks for calling.” [Hmmm, excuses, excuses?] Watched last part of flying doctors mini-series. Was sad & happy but great news is it’s coming on as a programme next year!!! UNREAL!! Fiona is ‘happy’ (pretending she is) that I’m going to CHS (& I have not made up my mind yet.) But I know she doesn’t want me to. I’m losing sleep over this thing!! Just don’t know what to do. Mrs Marslen hasn’t even rung me yet to tell me if I am accepted or not. God it’s a worry

Wednesday 30/10/85

Mrs Marslen still hasn’t rung but I got a subject selection booklet for CHS from Sharon D. who got it from her. [There’s a hint, Liss] Just watched the movie. Am bugared now. Went out riding with Lucy this arvy. Wanted to get back at 5:00. Was an hr late, cos at shop, met up with Anna, Polly, Adam, Liam & other boys. They were all so funny – I just had to stay around. Rushed HW, at home still haven’t done any assignments. Better hurry, huh? It’s imperitive now. 2 weeks to exams. I must hurry along. Tim & still very friendly with Joanne B. Tina called her his girlfriend. NOT FAIR. Too tired now is 10:30.

Thursday 31/10/85

I am so mixed up about this art course – its not funny. I am confused & worried. I just don’t know what to do & that teacher still hasn’t rung me. Jeezus! Rode with Lucy this arvy again – but Polly & Anna weren’t with Liam & Adam etc so we didn’t hang around. I got back just after 5:00. HW I did a fair bit + I ACTUALLY STARTED 1 ASSIGNMENT!!! (History.) I wanna finish it & BP tomorrow & on weekend so I can show Mr Van it. He’ll probably say it’s all wrong. Meat head. Got maths chapters to study from. Will do that on weekend as well. Early night (believe it or not!) Am tired. Getting shitty lately. Appetite is also increasing again

Friday 1/11/85

Am tired. Was only one who stayed up tonight. (Movie was slack – I was reading the new Women’s Weekly.) Riding with Lucy this arvy was good. Rode to the shop (bought nothing) then to Freshy Creek Petrol Station & pumped up our tyres – then to Redlynch & around the back streets to Lower Freshy Road stopped at Lower Freshy bridge. Saw Jill & Barry & Dean & Carol B, running then went back to Lucy’s (stopped & saw & talked to Roger M) then after Lucy’s went to shop – ate 5 lollies each then rode home. Enough exercise, huh?!! Have heapsa HW for the weekend mainly ART, BP, HISTORY & ENGLISH (orr & maths/science I s’pose too.) [In other words, for nearly every subject…] See ya round!!!

Saturday 2/11/85

Busy day today!! Went to Dr’s. Rode with Lucy. Completed 1 assignment. And Mrs G. & Lauren & Tiggy came over. At the doctor’s, (Dr McD.) had great big long talks about shaving legs, facial make-up, boy & girl attractions, my bruises, doctor’s exploits & my nose bleed. He swore, too. I was in shock. ‘Cunts’. Mum supposed he thought I’d heard it all before. I couldn’t stop smiling!! [As in, I found it funny?] About my nose, if it doesn’t heal, I’ll have to have the ruptured vein quarterized (burnt) & he said my bruises are just carelessness. Riding with Luc, went on Lower Freshy Circuit, to the church (where Martin P. showed off in riding his dad’s motorbike) to Savina Estate Park, to Beka’s & then home in 1½hrs. Felt good…exercising!! Late nite: is 10:32. Gonna WORK tomorrow!

Sunday 3/11/85

Got BP finished today. Also got cranky about a design for my T-shirt. Just don’t know what to do. Is such a hard choice. Have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow to finish BP properly, ie write it out correctly and do the illustrations. then I’ll have only 3 (perhaps 4) assignments left!!! Finished working on BP around 3:00 today. Just sat and vegetated, until 6:00 when I watched countdown. Really got upset about the TShirt logo. I just have no idea what to do. None at all. Is 10:30. Just watched a funny movie with Chevy Chase & Goldie Hawn!

The Camp, the Fete & Some Indecision (21-27 October)

Published on October 21, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 21/10/85

Had a fire drill today. Wowee. And another camp meeting. Everyone in our cooking group except Adrienne was away (at the geography “excursion” to Green Island.) Got Jenny’s sleeping bag also got into a BIG tantrum. It is TOO BIG. It won’t fit in either bag – without taking up all the space in it. Mum’ll have to buy me a smaller one tomorrow. [Typically high expectation from a typically naive teenager. Children are expensive – demanding – little critters!] Everyone was dull today. At Bluelight apparently Praybon took an interest in Beka (danced & kissed) Anna got fiercely Jealous. And Erica everyone forgot about her but she said she doesn’t care about him at all anymore. Early night. Am tired after weekend of good movies. Still dunno about CHS [Cairns High]. Got the art forms today.

Tuesday 22/10/85

Little excited about the camp today. Mum got me a sleeping bag & it FITS INTO my KNAPSAC!! Yahoo!! I have everything (except things I’ll need for tomorrow) already packed away. Can’t wait!! Watched part II of “Flying Doctors” thought it was last episode – but there’s a III one! IT’S SO FRIGGIN’ HOT I can’t take it!! I was alright during the day but the heat now is killing me!! Lucy came round this arvy. Went to shop – to Lucy’s & to shop again. I bought Lifesavers for the camp. met Fran & Colleen & Anna & Trudi Goodness me! Didn’t get my art forms handed in [for the special art course (CAD) at Cairns High]. I’m lucky Ms Anderson is gonna accept them, elsewhere. [elsewhere? what?!] Am tired – is 10:35 I wanna get some sleep

Wednesday 23/10/85

[It would appear that I left my diary at home for the whole time I was on the camp and filled it in upon my return. This kind of diligence obviously underlies my habit: if for some reason I’ve been unable to make an entry for one day, even now, I am compelled to recount it as soon as possible afterwards – usually the very next day. On this – and the following two – pages of the diary – I ‘highlighted’ the fact that I was away on camp by drawing diagonal lines across the pages, through the handwriting. At first sight I thought I’d made a huge mistake – like making diary entries on the wrong days or something. But then I realised I was just being ‘cute’.]

RIPPER FUN!!!! The whole camp was tops!! But first I’ll tell you what happened today. Got packed in morning & struggled to bus stop. At 9:00 got on the buses. Arrived around 10:30. Immediately noticed March flies – sooo many. After setting up & having lunch group 2 (Fi’s) & group 3 (mine) did canoeing. I went with Shane S. [to think only two years earlier I’d’ve died & gone to Heaven to be in the same canoe as him!] Fi was with Wade. Everyone swapped around. Paddled up stream (Fi, Connie & I were finally together) Had to walk canoes over rapids – got big bang & ankle is swollen now. Got back ½hr early. After dinner & relax period, activities started. Only watched nature films & did bush dancing BORING!! Fran, Fi & me finally got to sleep around 12:00 I think.

Thursday 24/10/85

After brekky (woke about 5:30) we did orienteering. It was really an obstacle course was fun, too. some things were quite hard to do!! After lunch, did canoeing again, this time Connie, me & Mr Ross went, canoed down stream in steady rain (for 1hr) took us about 3½hrs. SOOO many rapids!! We went over soo many rocks & then Mr Wilson (other teacher) blew us up! At the bridge – boys took canoes to trailers & most people squished into 2 cars. I got in one. Others had to walk back & it was a long way. Found out our tent was saturated (& sleeping bag from rain) [That wouldn’t’ve gone down well with me. I can imagine the sook I’d’ve become with that ‘tragedy’.] Lucky our bags were in Connie’s tent. After tea, watched “Killing Fields” for nite activity. Soo uncomfortable that I didn’t watch it. Slept in Sharon D’s tent

Friday 25/10/85

Woke again around 5:30. Pity it’s last day. Mainly ate up scraps for breakfast. Fires were hard to light just like last night’s. Our last activity today. HIKING – god!! the mountain was 90º! So hard to climb up – was so slippery & everything. Only got 1 leech – a baby – & it didn’t have time to start sucking blood. [I absolutely detest leeches, and still do.] Got back early. Went for a swim. (Had packed up sleeping bag & tent earlier) After lunches, buses came, we boarded and went home. Boys had egg fight at skool. Tinaroo-ers said they had fun but probably not as much as us. Nana was at home. Disorganised night. Watched movie. Glad to be home but camp was unreal. So many things that happened also but I can’t fit in. Night night!

Saturday 26/10/85

ANOTHER late night tonight!! My goodness!! Will I ever get a full night’s sleep? The fete was unreeeal! Not so good stall-wise, but many people were there and disco and fashion parade were a HUGE success. Also, tim actually talked to Justine while I was there!! But it looks as if he’s going with Joanne B. OH well!! Slept in late this morning. Watched abit of TV & did a bitta drawing – wasted day in other words. Tim was hunky in parade!! He actually looked at me while Justine was talking with him – but only when I butted in. Still, it’s a start – he could (must) get to know me better!! WADDA HUNK! Is 12:54 now ni nite

Sunday 27/10/85

Today was another complete waste! I woke late again (believe it or not) & lazed around all day. Watched TV, did some drawings & the questionaire for the art thingo. [CAD] My interview is tomorrow. Got my samples [‘portfolio’] ready. I’m going same time as Fran (we’re latecomers) Did absolutely no HW whatsoever TERRIBLE!! Shoulda, huh?! Had a water fight with Julia. Pretty boring day. Am having second thoughts about Cairns High. I like Tim still. & after the fete, who knows?? I thought he disliked me for some reason. Hope he doesn’t. Wanna be a friend then who knows??!! [Oh…my…God! Seriously? *shakes head, rolls eyes* Here’s a perfect example of what NOT to do in life – make decisions based around others. Especially others who seem to barely know you exist. Tsk, tsk!]

The Exchange Student & “Having It Off” (26 August -1 September)

Published on August 26, 2013 by Elissa Coxen2 Comments

Monday 26/8/85

I worked at my desk this arvy!! Wasn’t too bad. In fact its good having glue, hole punch, stapler right where you need them!! Could’ve got my HW (and a little extra) done faster, though. Kim, the exchange student, didn’t come to school however only enrolled today, She’ll be here tomorrow. Justine said she’s tall (thank god I’m not the only one, now!!) slim & has hair same colour as Fi’s. [I think my keen interest or curiosity about this exchange student was because she was American. Most probably due to media ‘saturation’, I was slightly in awe of anything American..and believed that anything American had to be more ‘cool’. And what teenager doesn’t want to be Cool?] Julia is nicer now. In the mornings she gets on (beats Sharon M.) & minds Anna’s seat. Am gonna read my book after this to finish part II then I’ll only have VI more!! OH NO!!

Tuesday 27/8/85

Kim is soooo shy. And (at least Sarah &) I know what’s gonna happen: she’ll stick like glue to Justine & justine’s goody-goody ways will rub off on her, so she’ll get a bad name or whatever, And Justine will “show off” about knowing her etc. She reckons that Wade & Allan don’t like her as much because she told them Kim had blonde hair & its dark. Wat a loada crap!! It’s because she’s got braces & is thin as a rake (like anorexic) but she does have beautiful (big) brown eyes. [Everyone’s a Critic!] Has no subjects xept form, science, english & PES in common with me. [None…but four?] Anyhow for me the day was terrible. I forgot deodorant.

Wednesday 28/8/85 MIMA’S B.DAY!!

Boring today. Lotsa people either wagging it or gone to the inter-school carnival. We had to stay at school & “work” Yes: (mostly) work. Kim said on days like these at her school, people would have normal classes but do anything they wanted – Lucky. Went to Mima’s after school. Didn’t get/make a card Told her I’d get one. Got beautiful prezzys – shoes, clothes & things She asked Brent what he wanted for his Birthday – he said “you”. She said “Oh, I’ll come with a big bow on my head” & he said “I want more than that!” He wanted to have it off!! [“Have it off” is wonderfully old-fashioned slang for “have sex”. Ah, so entertaining.] Jemima said she dropped dead on the spot. She’s going to dinner with her family, Brent & his family. Is “shit-scared” about what he’ll get her. Went to Lucy’s after that got my Bday prezzy (chipped’n’cracked) She persuaded me to stay longer than I ought to. Mum is at Geoff’s. We’re on our own. Nite Nite!

Thursday 29/8/85

Had lots of HW. Trust Lucy to come over. She dragged me down to the shop. Saw Jemima. She took us back to Fiona. We met David & wasted time talking. I eventually left. Sooo much HW, Can’t do my maths achievement test. Is upsetting. Nothing worth noting happened today. Oh. Tina also LVS Tim. & he’s still flipped over Addrienne P. so I’ve no chance, huh? Anyway… tomorrow’s Friday thank god. Will study on the weekend & work….

Friday 30/8/85

Looks like I’ll only get 7½hrs sleep at the most tonight. I am bugared!! Will have to wake at 7:30 to get ready for work. Camp meeting today. I’m in Group 3 with no one. I’m in cooking group F with no one. [“no one” of course meaning none of my friends. I was terribly shy – still am somewhat – so being amongst ‘strangers’ was a daunting prospect. I’m always much more comfortable with the ‘Familiar’] lucky me. Always my luck. Anyway, got fair amount of (weekend) HW done, got ready to go to town. Got in there about 6:30 with Justine & her cousin Yasmine (←nice!!) Saw mima & fiona lots, Steven ♥! & Mark M & his “gang”. Felt happy Time went too fast. (Steven didn’t see me) Pity. Anyhow, played Trivial Pursuit at 10:00 when got home. I didn’t finish game (they just have now.) Am too tired.

Saturday 31/8/85

I DON’T WANT TO GO OUT TOMORROW Am angry. But I want to see Dad. Worked today God, am upset & feeling angry. Holding it (forcedly) in. Earned $24.50. Keeping $12.50 want to buy a swatch for the camp. Have decided to ask Mr Carter (good luck) if there is any possible change into another group – but if not, I will enjoy myself & make friends of these people. [Great – rare – Resolve, Elissa] Got home late (4:30) Cos worked all day. AM PROUD OF MYSELF, TOO!! Cos as of yesterday (I did today, too) I did not snack between meals. When I thought I felt hungry I drank & it worked. [Thatta girl! Hang on, drank WHAT? I don’t recall being a huge fan of water when I was younger so this might not be the Win I thought…] Played trivial Pursuit is now 11:50. Am “fucked”

Sunday 1/9/85 FATHER’S DAY

Woke 7:30, Slept till 8:00. Got up & frantically tried to make Geoff a card, but decided I didn’t need to cos he isn’t my father. Couldn’t however, even make dad a card or wrapping paper cos I spent the morning “removing hair” with depilatory creams. Went to Dad’s & gave him his prezzys. Girl from Port with her boyfriend (hoony) entering Miss Australia Quest. Ha! Fat Chance!! Julia stayed there. At home, hurriedly made Geoff a card (didn’t mention Father’s Day) [He was] Shitty when he came. Didn’t “look” at the presents. At Port, mum & I sunbaked for 2hrs. Nothing happened to me. What a waste of time then at 4:00, Geoff wanted to go to the pub. Got home at 5:45. Geoff didn’t pick up his prezzys. Mum’s writing a letter to him saying stop being childish etc. She’s mentioning marriage – which I don’t want. [I don’t actually recall witnessing any ‘disagreements’ between my mother & her partner so this has been an eye-opener for me.]

Interior Decorating & Molly’s Death (19-25 August)

Published on August 19, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 19/8/85

Tonight is supposed to be 14º Last night was cold too. [This is Cairns, remember. 14 degrees can be considered ‘cold’ in the tropics.] Hope we get a nice long cold spell with wind & rain!! (But not for the camp.) Did all HW this arvy & did a little research for history. Am proud that I got it all done before 5:00 (5:15, really!) I hate these little bugs flying around my lamp. They get in my way. Today was “good”. Watched Animal Farm on video. Bit sad. [George Orwell’s novel Animal Farm is one of the most memorable reads of my life and one of my favourite quotes comes from it: “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”] Early night tonight. Going “well” on my “diet”. Looked at my building society passbook. Now I have $29.61. In one year from now, I should have approximately $520 more (if I keep earning ~$10 per week!)!!

Tuesday 20/8/85

Fiona “misses” me. She “mentioned” it in science. I think she’s “upset” that I can talk “easier” to justine. Anyway. On the way home Lucy & Anna got fi & I the last seat (where Clayton normally sits) Fiona didn’t sit there (dunno why) but I did (kinda on the very inside edge.) and Jay sat next to me. Felt wierd. [? Perhaps it was that I was sitting next to a boy? I hadn’t experienced a great deal of exposure to the Male Species in my young life. Mum and Dad’s separation removed even more male energy from my environment.] At lunch went to oval with Sarah – talked about a lot of things. Am so tired. Sun & Mon nites I had early, but slept terribly (waking up both times with bloody nose) I have a “sneeze” cold & my allergies are running hot I HATE IT. My right eye is ITCHY & I hate it. My nose in running & I HATE IT

Wednesday 21/8/85

Today was really topsy turvy. Went to a play at Croswell Hall after assembly (made our Yr 11 subject choices (just indefinite ones)) [Ha, indefinite? I clearly had no idea what that word meant. “Not definite” was what I’d’ve been thinking.] Got the back seat on the bus on the way in (Tim got on, too & sat in the 2nd last seat.) But on the way home Jacki & her ‘friends’ got it. Play was alright – boring. Could see Tim from where I sat. He sat 2 rows in front to my right. Then we got back at the end of little lunch so we had P4 for little lunch. WHoever didn’t go, had to go to class. After that it was a normal Day 4. Boring!! Fiona has a sore neck – under her ears – I think it might be Mumps. Did my english talk. Got 7/10 was stupid.

Thursday 22/8/85

Got the old desk tonight. Cleaned it ‘afore I went to bed. Fiona was away. Beka & I diagnosed “mumps”, yesterday. Could tell Anna was bored with us (me.) Almost conned into going to the Bluelight. I really don’t want to, yet I do. This arvy, bathed, & went to Earlville. Mum had to ‘man’ a National Trust stand & Jules & I walked around. Found heaps of clothes and A PR OF BLACK TOGS maillot style!!! Yipee!! ($36) Then rushed home with a pizza and watched “A Country Practise”. Molly’s death was terribly sad. Had to hold back the tears. I feel quite exhausted now [For those who are too young or not Australian enough to know, “A Country Practise” was a popular 80’s TV serial and this particular episode has gone down in Australian television history as one of the most moving character deaths. I’m fairly sure she was the first character I ever recall passing away as a result of the Big C (cancer) – leukaemia.]

Friday 23/8/85

DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN is a really enjoyable movie!! I got ready (Justine rang twice) and she came ½hr late so (it started at 8:00) it was 7:00 when we got to “Babooshka”. Mrs McP tried on clothes. I persuaded Justine we leave and get tickets at 7:20 but theatre still wasn’t open so at 7:30 decided to whip around town. Didn’t get to see much at all. at 7:50 whizzed back to theatre Got in line after Shane L. Saw movie. WAS TERRRIFIC! Then (I told mum 11 o’clock) we waited 20 mins (in the dark – but not on our own, thank god) till mum came. I was a bit worried!! Today, fiona came to school. Isn’t mumps!!

Saturday 24/8/85

Worked and earned only $16.25. Got home around 3:00. Took $3 to the fete at 3:00, came back with $3 at 3:15. Was boring. Nothing there. Justine was talking to some TAS girls (can’t remember their names) & (almost) totally ignored me, so I left. At home wanted to change my room around, got cranky towards 4:30 & really hysterical after 5:00. Room just doesn’t feel comfortable when I change it. Maybe I’m not ready for one. So when Dianne & Kerry came at 6:00, my eyes were puffy. Quickly got normal & watched TV untill tea. Had a game of Trivial Pursuit after. We (mum & I) came 2nd!! Is now 12:15

Sunday 25/8/85

Today, woke feeling good. I saw the desk & had an excellent idea how to put it ….. (Guess) ….. it didn’t work, so I was shitty till I worked out how to have it. Spent 12:30 onwards filling the drawers & sorting out school papers/books, so got not HW (let alone study) done. Read little of my book, too. At 3:00-3:30, went to D’s at whiterock. Watched TV & I read. Was fun. Bethlan the little 3 year old girl is a scream! Her brothers Adam (11) & Ben (7) give her a hard time! Stayed for tea. Got home late is now 9:05. Got no HW done, still will wake early tomorrow (6:30) not much to do. American Exchange student comes 2morrow.

Swearing, Hitting & Falling off Bikes (29 July-4 Aug)

Published on July 29, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 29/7/85

The best piece of news I could have gotten today (besides winning the lotto, or something) was that Steven doesn’t like Anna. Not hate (like he does Lucy) I think!?! (I hope – nah!) but just doesn’t like enough. I like him enough! Didn’t got to aerobics. Was supposed to (starting today) jog at the park to lose weight. Didn’t do that either cos’ got my Dolly. [The ultimate procrastination!] Didn’t get haircut either cos’ Annette was booked out (I’m going Thursday, now.) But today when I told everyone how I wanted my haircut – most said they like it the way it is now. Tina got frantic when I told her I wanted my fringe trimmed. She said “if you get your fringe cut, get it cut up to here.” (whereupon she pointed at her scalp.) She also stated that she didn’t like Anna’s haircut (when fiona told Anna, they all said they hated her but I didn’t.) Also today, my neck was sore. Think it’s out of place.

Tuesday 30/7/85

Deodourant wore off quickly today. Is starting to get warmer. Also 2 nails (the longest on my left hand) were broken at lunchtime. We swore (on the oval) to hit each other each time we swore. Everyone hits me all the time. If I hit fiona cos’ she swore, Lucy’d hit me. So if I swore fiona’d hit me, I’d hit her back & she’d hit me again & so on. Riding tomorrow. BP test tomorrow. Maths WESTPAC competition test tomorrow. Sports day on Friday. Think my ears (earring holes) are infected

Wednesday 31/7/85

At “last minute” Fiona rings to say she can’t ride cos’ her Dad’s sick & her mum went into the shop instead so she had to help Stuart get off to school & get Da’s breakfast. So just me & Beka rode. It was a bad luck day. On the way to school, I slipped off (over) my bike on gravel & grazed my hand & knee (left). Westpac Maths Competition – I’ll be lucky to get 50/100, BP I think I will fluke most of the answers & worst of all, on the way home, BEKA had a prang on railway tracks. She hurt her knees, knuckles & head. (much worser than me) Went to the “Dunstan’s” for tea. Yummy! (Ate heaps! Watched walt disney shows on video)

Thursday 1/8/85

Late night last night. Got about 7 hrs sleep, tho’.. Haircut not trim & it looks stupid!!!! No joke. It is shit & couldn’t find any plain, white sandshoes. I mean wat’s the world coming to?? No plain old (good ole) sandshoes. Unbelievable. Sport day tomorrow. Will have to wear my white leather ones. Gonna wear something in my hair to cover it up, too. Wish I could re-run today. Hated it. Ian C. called me ugly again. Dunno if he was joking or not, but it does hurt you to be told to your face how ugly you are. [I have tried a number of times to make a comment here, about this but it really speaks for itself. It demonstrates well the power of words, even if harmless in intent, as I know this would have been. As children we can be oblivious but as adults we need to choose our words wisely, since none of us ever knows what is going on in the minds of those to whom we direct them. Having said that, it is Human to err so we need to exercise tolerance – and forgiveness thereof – for “sins committed against us”!]

Friday 2/8/85

I’m cold at the moment – not. I’m not, I jest feel as if it’s cold (it is) Like not cold, but my teeth chatter a little bit. Carnival was good. Got burnt on face, legs & little Δ shape on chest where shirt was. [Except that that triangle would have been upside down, wearing a V-necked T-shirt] Sunny. Excellent weather despite the wind. Tim S. is Trinity. Jeez, he’s a fast runner!! 1st in his 100 & 200 m races!! Anyhow, we won again!! 3rd year in a row!! Clifton 2nd, then Ellis & Kewarra. Am bugared. now. watched movie. Going to sleep at Lucy’s tomorrow 4 her birthday party: I dunno now who I like better – Tim or Steven!!

Saturday 3/8/85

Woke up & decided to HW. Did not get any done. I don’t know why!! But, as I started to get rid of (using my depilatory cream) about 4 weeks growth of underarm hair, mrs b. pulled in at our place. So with a tissue & plastic scraper, ridded myself of the yellow gunk. (I ended up shaving off the hair at Lucy’s) So, around 1:00 I packed my bags and went to Lucy’s. Not long after I arrived (about 15 mins) Beka came then about 5-3 mins after her; Fiona. We talked most of the arvy away – confessing wot we liked & hated about each other. (Won’t explain that!) Watched a little TV. Mr W. went out about 6:30 & [at this point, I’d filled the available space, so continued over the page and ran the entry straight through into Sunday’s…]

Sunday 4/8/85

we cooked our own tea. Late nite, too. was about 1:30-2:00 before we got to sleep. Played some games in that time. Was cold when we went to sleep (Mr W. came home about 12-1:00) Slept badly – kept waking up to the cold & wierd little dreams.Woke 8:30. Left 9:30. No breakfast there – just up!! clean up!! get dressed!! & go!! (Mr W. was at church.) so, at home today, bludged. S’posed to do HW, but didn’t. Played with makeup. Went out to give dad something & we (Jules & me) got our birthday prezzy’s from Papa $20. (and mine from Jenny – a fake pink crystal necklace orrright.) feel so guilty cos’ I was angry at Papa for not sending a prezzy. but paid no consideration to the 2 heart attacks from which he has only just recovered. [At least I know what ‘remorse’ is] Edna his new wife looks kind & funny (I mean humorous in personality.) Also went to Nell & Amanda’s. All of them think I’m pretty. If it’s true, why is there no proof (boyfriends)?? [Ah, the complexity – or impossibility? – of answering a question such as this…]

Gross Girlie Stuff & the Cairns Show (15-21 July)

Published on July 15, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 15/7/85

Shitty day today. First I hear news that Fiona is going to the show with Jemima no – sorry – GREG. invited her. Upset over that – but, fiona wants me to come with them. (then I’d be left out – so I might just go with Justine instead – more fun 2 than with 7) Secondly. my period PES – gushed out (wearing only tampon) undies soaked. [Oh to be female. If you have a ‘weak stomach’ for these human biological functions, I recommend you quit reading here-now because this drama – its description & detail – comprises the rest of the days’ entry…and some!] pad in BP: 5th period – gushed out. At loos, took out tampon – old pad soaked put in loo paper. End big lunch – on my skirt (Jumper round my hips) More loo paper between 6th & 7th periods – pad after skool from office. At home – skirt covered in blood. Lucky had a jumper. Am stuffed

Tuesday 16/7/85

I can’t believe how heavy my periods are. I wore one of mum‘s tampons today (longer & thicker) & that wore out about only 3hrs later! Went thru 3 tampons & 3 pads & still my pants were stained – today was lucky my skirt didn’t. Riding tomorrow. Won’t take my jumper cos’ weather’s getting warmer, however if I do leak – nothing to hide it. Shit. Cross fingers!! Wot about in Summer – when I can’t take a jumper anyway? OH NO!! [Fortunately this entire experience was the worst I’ve ever suffered, at least as far as I can recall now. Many women endure much worse on a regular basis throughout their lives so I am very grateful.] Going with Justine to show. Try not to meet Lucy. Also don’t wanna stay near Fi etc too long (don’t wanna have to drool over Steven) also cos this arvy (at Lucy’s new flat in Springfield Estate!!) Jemima didn’t seem too friendly. OH well. I can’t help it.

Wednesday 17/7/85

Nana bought round a choice of books by those authors Mr Van Slooten gave us & I took two (one’s whose titles he had mentioned, I think.) I have now actually started on book! Am gonna read for a little while now cos’ I’m up to ch.9 (there’s only 5 to go!) Didn’t get much HW done. Riding – my hands were numb – red raw & frozen. Next time I’ll wear gloves. Not joking. [Well, nothing’s changed – seems I’ve always had poor circulation. My hands and feet are always icy, just ask the clients I train in winter!] Am tired – cranky. Periods easing now – think for show I’ll only need a tampon – mum’s just in case. I’m confused about who I have a crush on – I say not Tim but ? when I see him, I’m not so sure. Now I haven’t seen Steven, I’m not so sure – but one thing: I’m still jealous of Anna (& Fi cos’ I don’t want her to go with Greg again) [So obvious to me now that it had little to do with the boys – it was simply that I didn’t want to be alone.]

Thursday 18/7/85

Today went slow. Didn’t find out whether Tim is going tomorrow or not, but Julia said she saw Melissa C & Tia tonight. I’m sick already (probably with excitement) but I hope I’m not going to be on the rides tomorrow. [Not much of a daredevil, it took me a few years – and my Dad – to get me on my first ‘big-person’s’ show ride, and my innards were sometimes too eager to react to the forces of motion. In your teens, when the event’s social aspect becomes even more significant, the last thing you want is to be green around the gills…] I want to meet lots of people. I bought some new nail polish (bright red to go with my outfit) & some mousse (to do something with my lifeless hair.) Also wanna get some chapstick (lip protector) My “Bonne Bell” is run out & Julia said it was cold here so imagine the wind on the rides!!

Friday 19/7/85

[the original diary had printed “Katherine Show Day” on this date and I wrote next to it:] & Cairns!! [Excited much?]

Today I can’t remember much what happened except that I didn’t do very much HW, I went to Lucy’s (to tell her where we’d meet her – but she kept me there for over an hour.) & in my exceptionally good timetable for preparing for the show I ran out of time & got upset & cranky – but everything worked out OK.. [Another wonderful aspect of OCD – driven by pure excitement of course – that I thankfully grew out of before I left school: writing up ‘toilette schedules’ for big social events… which invariably always went awry.] show was alright. Not the best I’ve been to. Did meet Lucy (were late so she was shitty) Went on heapsa rides – chipmunk!! yep! 3 times!! I love it!! [The Chipmunk was the only roller coaster ride at the Cairns Show. I am guessing, from the way I have reported it, that this was the first year I’d had the courage to give it a go. Evidently a winner!] Saw Tina, Gordan C & many others. Met steven, anna etc. felt terrible – could see Steven practically spewing over Lucy!! Want to apologize to him. [It’s funny how I used to – and perhaps sometimes still do – tend to ‘take blame’ for things that are out of my control. In this instance I’d say it all boiled down to me badly wanting to impress Steven, and ‘failing’ because all ‘I’ brought him was discomfort. What a warped sense of responsibility!] Ate a bit. Tim wasn’t there (I confessed to Justine – she thinks he’s got the ‘hots’ for Melissa C.) OHH! NOO!!

Saturday 20/7/85

Bugared! Got to sleep ’bout 1:00. Woke 8:00 today. Read my book. In fact read it most of the day. Is a twisted book – story good but presentation twisted. [I’d LOVE to know what it was so I could re-read it now.] Did all other HW except main ones – English & Maths. Study 4 maths & do english essay tomorrow (have to write an essay under EXAM CONDITIONS) My nose is blocked – sneezy & my left ear is blocked. Also had a brief dizzy spell after bath. Hope I don’t have the dreaded flu that’s already killed 26 people nationally.. [I’m not certain what kind of flu this was, and have tried Googling it. Bird flu was recorded in Victoria in 1985 but there was no mention of human deaths as a result.]

Sunday 21/7/85

Supposed to write my english essay today & study for maths test. However, when I awoke, I decided to complete reading my book as I only had 5 Ch’s left. Took me until 2:00. So then I attempted my essay. Began writing about the thoughts of a fat girl, [potentially autobiographical in nature no doubt, since my body image was poor] but hated it, so got upset cause couldn’t think what to write about. Mum took me out & we got a sly cone. At home time passed & I got more upset. Decided finally at 4:30 to do about an ocker [meaning “stereotypically Australian” for those who are unacquainted with our national slang] BBQ. Have notes but must write the essay & learn off by ♥. Also have yet to study maths → SO MUCH work!

Corporal Punishment & a Lost Opportunity? (24-30 June)

Published on July 2, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 24/6/85

Mum’s a bitch. She still resorts to ‘the belt’ to punish us. Funny, eh? Fucking hurts, though. I screamed the house down (or yelled, I think) [Wow, I don’t remember getting the belt at this age. That’s impressive!] Anyhow, went to town (Earlville, really) & wasted fucking $30. Bought on impulse a pr. white pants, then nervous about fit – took them back & got red ones. HATE them too. Also got a blue jumper. Mum’s kept it all now. I’ve still got NOTHING. Probly won’t get anything either. Fuckin’ mole, mum. [Liss, it’s not her fault you didn’t like the stuff YOU purchased!] Read dolly all arvy (new one) then watched TV. Played frisbee & watched TV again. Ate little up till tea time when ate whole tin of fruit & bowl of soup & toast. Guts-ache [To clarify: I didn’t have a gut ache, I was berating myself.] (Mum told me to go to bed, so I’m staying up to watch MINDER!!)

Tuesday 25/6/85

MATTHEW McK’s BIRTHDAY 1 day old! Today I rang mima to tell her I have her basket from the speech concert & we ended up going to town. Was fun. Saw “Police Academy II” not too funny after all. Saw David L, Paul P, Ben P, Rebecca P, Sean H & wait for it …. Sean M. He’s gotten taller. Lucy is going to mima’s on Thursday. So is Brent. And Steven. He had his hair cut & bought new shorts for her. Mima’s nervous. She “knows her won’t like her…she’s so different to him”. Wish I was in her place. [Clearly regretting the lost opportunity. I detested my shyness – which, unbelievably to some, has plagued me all my life. It’s interesting how little attention I gave to the previous crush, Sean M. Over him, much?] Naaah Forget I ever said that. Late-ish nite tonight watching mini-series – LACE

Wednesday 26/6/85

Went to town (Earlville & Westcourt.) At ambition, tried on red skirts – too tight, too thick material…. Did a little shopping, but finally got white cardigan from K-Mart. Has red stripes (double) around base, wrist cuff & neckline. Also around left sleeve in the middle. Love it. Watched TV the rest of the day. Ate one hell of a lot. Have decided to go on a diet after the holidays. I worked out the theory of dieting & have decided to do it for my FIGURE, not my weight. However if I lose 1 stone in weight, I should lose some figural fat!!! [Interestingly enough, I actually got that kinda right: ignore the scales, focus on how your clothes fit. But the word ‘diet’ – knowing I meant it in terms of ‘dieting’ – makes me cringe.] At Diane & Kerry’s while mum’s at N. Trust Meeting. Gonna watch a video later!!

Thursday 27/6/85

Did a big fat nothing today. Listened to music, made a cake, ate, played frisbee, watched TV. How boring can you get? Went to see Mandy around 4:00 today. Matthew is beautiful! So small compared to Heath – cute!! Mandy says she’ll go home next week on Tuesday. Today was Lucy & Steven’s BIG Day! Wonder how it worked out. Ready for Fiona’s! Mum’s going to Mackay this weekend on National Trust Meeting. Bluelight, too. So instead of risking it at Dad’s, I’m going to Fiona’s place. Fri night, Sat, Sun & Mon. Morning

Friday 28/6/85

A little homesick aLLREADY !! News has it that the BIG DAY did occur. ‘Good’ news – Steven hates Lucy (apparently she acted like a posh, spoilt rich bitch) & BAD news is that he’s off to the Bluelight with Anna B. Lissa, you can’t see a good thing when it comes, can you?? Today mostly worried about what to take/pack 4 Fiona’s. Watched TV & listened to music in between. At Fi’s talked, watched TV, got a little BORED!! Watched TV then after dinner went to Jemima’s. Polly & mim & us sat in a dark room singing all the songs we could think of. Going to town 2morrow & I have nothing to wear…

Saturday 29/6/85

Woke early. Very early. Went into town with Jemima, Polly, Anna & Fiona. Didn’t have anything to wear! Wore my new cardy. Went to mima’s after. Spent arvy plaiting Fiona’s hair. At Fi’s got ready 4 blu-light. Fi worried about top she bought – how she thought it didn’t match her trousers. It did. Blulight was a boring one. Yes, Steven is very nice & yes Anna & him hit it off well. Shit! My imagination had me thinking he might’ve liked me (at the beginning) but it soon came apparent that he didn’t – well, not that much. Lucy wasn’t there! Others [who?] left at 9:30 to go to a party. Fi & I talked to Andrea and Michelle T (Yes, normally miss snob!)

Sunday 30/6/85

Lazed around today. Woke late. Had late brekky. Played cards for the rest of the morning. After lunch went to mima’s. All (Polly, Anna, me, mima & fiona) decided to ride into town for an ice cream from “Sly Cones”.Was yummy. Had another one at Great Australian Icecreamery. Then we rode to Brent’s. Brent & Steven weren’t there, but Mrs G. (really nice cheery lady) invited us in & we watched a video. They came and about an hour later we left to ride home. Watched movie tonight “On Golden Pond”. Lovely! My 4th time!!