A Life in Words

Clique Bitchiness & a Haircut Tanty (20-26 August)

Published on May 19, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 20/8/84

Boring day. Didn’t do any HW previously. Am in trouble with Ger. Fi & me have left the group (but Beka, Justine & Natasha have come.) We don’t want Natasha (we’d rather have Angela) Stayed up till 9:30. Late-ish. Went to Kevin Shorey. He didn’t repierce my ear, just pushed the earring through, so he’s broken the skin at the back. Also, Nana got bronchial asthma. She could die any moment. Please, god NO. [My grandmother was quite a heavy smoker. Stands to reason?]

Tuesday 21/8/84

Today she is feeling better (that’s good) I haven’t told you much about the house lately, have I? Well the frame is up, the roof beams, a few interior walls & electrical sockets & wires. Now that we’ve moved away from the group, (Angela is with us now instead of Tashy) there is an ALL-OUT WAR! We didn’t want one – but – ! On the way home, they talked about us out loud deliberately. Also when I got on the bus, Karen took 1 seat & put her bag on the one in front of that, because there were no other seats left & no one was minding it. Natasha said to Lucy “Sorry but elissa took our seat.” “I did not take anything of yours at all,” I said. “Orrr, not half,” she slurred. BITCH.

Wednesday 22/8/84

The fight is now over. Toni & them made up. Natasha & Rebecca are leaving & so are Fi & I. Today was quite boring. My english assignment, due tomorrow & I haven’t started yet. OH WOE IS ME. Watched the end of ON GOLDEN POND (Watched most of it on Monday in double period.) – Saw last bit today. Am miserable → have itchy eyes & nose & sneezing.

Thursday 23/8/84

THIS IS A FUCKIN’ STUPID HAIRCUT & I HATE THE BAG WHO CUT IT she is a shit. She couldn’t follow some simple instructions & now I look like a freak. Boring school day. Went to town to get a new haircut & the stupid bitch (a new girl) couldn’t cut my hair the way I asked, let alone cut it in a straight line. [Needless to say, the caps and bold type represent extreme anger, which appeared in the diary as rather messy, very heavy-handed scrawl!]

Friday 24/8/84 [Sports Day]

Fixed my hair with mousse this morning – cut it myself just a bit so that it’s spiky. Was GUT! Knew Trinity would win & we did But it was close between us & Clifton. Kewarra got 3rd & Ellis last!! Badly sunburnt. Had a water fight with Melinda S. & Julia at the park. Had the roof-wetting party at the house & I have some type of allergy – I’m sneezing & have itchy eyes & nose. Mum’s gonna take me to the doctor’s for an allergy test sometime. [Sinus issues plagued me as a child. I grew up on skim milk because of the continual flow of phlegm down the back of my throat (a condition known as ‘catarrh’) which was noticeably worse when I consumed whole milk. I ended up seeing an Ear Nose & Throat Specialist at some point in the future, amongst others.]

Saturday 25/8/84

Our ‘blue’ team lost tennis semi-finals Drove home – mim & Fi stayed for Pizza lunch. They went & I started ironing before speech. Diane & Kerry were home; had a look at the house. We met Melinda & Brendan S. He & SHANE have their EARS PIERCED (their mother took them to Kevin Shorey’s, paid for that & even wants to pay for their earrings.) COULDJAWANNA??!!?! [Yeah, the 80’s…Gender-bending! At some stage, the unwritten rule about males with pierced ears was; if it was in the right ear you were gay, if the left you were cool.] After Di & Kerry left, I got ready for the Bluelight. Was good TAS boys (& the girls) were there but nothing happened unfortunately. Mima had a good time with Glenn. I got sore legs again.

Sunday 26/8/84

Ate & ate & ate today – lazed around. Tried to do my english opinionative essay. Got started. ½ done. I’ll hafta wake up early & finish it. Am sooo tired. Late night

Growing Pains at the Cairns High Fete (13-19 August)

Published on May 18, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 13/8/84

Practically asleep on my feet today. Not a good day – slow & boring. Mick came late, so we were the 5th bus to leave, instead of 3rd. Got a book out of the library called Manx Mouse – haven’t started reading it yet. At home, rode to shop & bought a ‘Cool Shark’ for arvy tea – there is NOTHING & I mean nothing to eat in our house. [I tried to find a picture of the old ‘Cool Shark’ ice blocks but to no avail. They were literally blue in colour and the thought of that toxic colouring now sends shivers down my spine]

Tuesday 14/8/84

A Life in Words — …and in case you didn’t know what the knees were…

Asleep on my feet again! Am SO TIRED lately! Slow day. Shamed Sharon M. today. She likes John C. & when he walks past our stop in the mornings, well today we yelled out things like “Sharon loves John” etc. Still haven’t started “Manxmouse” yet. At last year’s speech concert, I had to wear a black cotton dress. Today I cut it into a tube. Just belt it at the top & it makes a great skirt!! [My mum didn’t think so. “I wish you wouldn’t cut everything up” became words I got too used to hearing. But I was a budding fashion designer…what did she expect?]

Wednesday 15/8/84

ANOTHER slow day! Went to the dentist: he said I’m his no°1 toothbrusher (with) braces) & I’ll have to have these shitty braces on for 18 months. Stayed in at art in Big Lunch. After speech went to shop & our tree. Ate & got home on dusk! Supposed to get my ear repierced (the right one – the one I couldn’t get an earring into) Pat said it was too small so I’ll hafta go back & get him to do something.

Thursday 16/8/84

Didn’t go to Kevin Shorey today – just forgot! STUART d. has sugar DIABETES. [Type 1, unlike the majority of children these days, sadly] Fi said he went into hospital today [I have omitted a potentially sensitive statement here] she’s really upset – cries & everything. Mim & I wanted to go & see him but couldn’t. Today was boring – watched high jumps again. Phillip & Matthew were around asking Julia to go for a walk. Kept bugging us but was fun!

Friday 17/8/84

Dunphys may be buying the Sheridan St Newsagency!! And Fi said I could do the paper run but Nana is against it. UP HER ARSE!! Today was also .. Boring. In Double Science ½ of 9B had to come into our class because their teacher was absent (& there were no relieving teachers) but Fi went into 9C. Went to High Jumps AGAIN. Watched the movie “the Big Bus”. Was meant to be funny, but wasn’t that good. In fact, it was pathetic.

Saturday 18/8/84

Am bugared. Mrs H. drove us to & from tennis. Got home, showered & had lunch. Made my black skirt, dressed & met Karen to go to the Freshy fete. Stayed for ½hr – wasn’t great. Rushed home, changed, picked up Lucy & went. The Cairns High (CHS) fete was fantastic & great. The Disco was unreal (or at least the breakdancers were) Got growing pains [aching legs] therefore I was tired & bored. Mima was with Glenn C. most of the night (y’know his sister Lynette – the one with all the fashionable clothes.) He is spunky!! (and year 8) Am sooo tired now.

Sunday 19/8/84

Woke up 8:30. Left for dad’s. Stayed at a park while dad had a trial run for triathlon. [It was his debut – and maiden – entry in the major local event , the “Coral Coast Triahtlon”. I am quite certain he was a part of a team, since I don’t recall him ever owning a bike. He was a (fun) runner.] Went to little Di’s place for lunch after & stayed till 7:30. Back at dad’s had soup for tea, got into bed at 8:50 & I hoped to be asleep before 9:30.

Days Missing & Earring Dramas (6-12 August)

Published on May 17, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 6/8/84

and

Tuesday 7/8/84

I forgot to fill in. Must have been so boring I forgot to. Don’t think anything ‘notable’ occurred…

Wednesday 8/8/84

Woke at 4:30 & rushed a rough copy of my history assignment, only to find in History that Mr Van Slooten had extended it till Friday. Boring, slow day. Had an arvy tea without added sugar! Orange, banana & museli bar! [Oh dear, if I only knew then what I know now! Obviously did not read ingredients on packaging in those days] After shower & speech I dressed for school disco. Only 100 people went but rap dancing was tops! Disco was alright.

Thursday 9/8/84

Booooring – (but isn’t every school day??) Interhouse sports practise in periods 5,6 & 7. I got out of everything! (except being a reserve in high jump) [A vast change in attitude from 1983, when I complained about not being chosen to participate in anything] Mark (the new bus driver) beckoned us on the bus this arvy cos’ he thinks lining up is a waste of time (we all agree of course!) Also, went to block – framing is up & it does make the ‘house’ (area) look bigger.

Friday 10/8/84

Test was a synch. Got a new speaking assignment & writing essay in English. Slow day. Had a bath & Ruth came for tea with her friend Pat. I wore my frangipani earrings (I gottem from Lucy for my birthday) cos’ I remembered last time Ruth said she didn’t like sleepers. I COULD NOT GET THE RIGHT ONE IN AGAIN. I tried & tried but it wouldn’t budge. Pat (had her ears pierced) tried unsuccessfully, I went to bed without it.

Saturday 11/8/84

Bad at tennis again – lost all games. Went to Esplanade – had lunch etc got home about 2:00. Stopped at Savina Park & had a water fight. At home, had a snack, then went to speech – drama practise. Early-ish nite

Sunday 12/8/84

Very lazy day mum was out, I watched Olympics & ate & ate & ate & Julia did her project. Am quite troubled lately. So much is going wrong. Kevin McK. has made changes in the framework without consulting Geoff – now that’s put more pressure on us (have to wait longer for the house) [As in 99% of cases, house-building takes double the expected time. This was the second house we were having built in a matter of 3 years. Why my mother chose to tread that path again, I can only guess. How she managed, I’ll never know, but I damned-well respect her for it. Even though the smoking-like-a-chimney eventually contributed to her premature death] I had an early-ish night.

Gluten Free Vegetable Mornay

Published on May 16, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Ingredients:

2-3 cups cooked GF macaroni/pasta

4-5 cups lightly steamed veggies (I used broccoli, cauliflower, carrot, zucchini & asparagus)

3 tablespoons butter/coconut oil

1 onion, diced

3 tablespoons cornflour

1½-2 cups milk (I used rice milk so less is better because it’s watery)

1 cup grated cheese

½ cup almond meal

¼ cup grated parmesan

¼ cup grated cheese

Method:

Preheat oven to 180°C. Melt butter/coconut oil in saucepan and sauté onion until tender. Remove from heat. Add cornflour and combine. Gradually add milk, whisking in between each addition until smooth. Return to heat and stir continuously until sauce boils and thickens then stir through grated cheese until melted. In a large (1.5 litre, e.g.) ovenproof dish, combine the pre-cooked pasta & veggies, stirring through the cheese sauce mixture. Top with half of the combined cheeses, then sprinkle over the almond meal, finishing with the last of the cheeses. Bake for 30 minutes until bubbling and golden. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Notes:

Since I am a blasé cook with abnormal nutrition preferences, I often mess around with ingredients and amounts. I prefer much more vege than ‘complex carb’ so where the original recipe asked for 3 cups of pasta & 4 cups of veg, I chose to use 2 and 5 respectively. But I think this recipe would work well as a plain vegetable bake – scrap the past altogether for more nutrient density!

The poorest decision I made was in my choice of milk – which wasn’t really a choice, because I don’t buy cow’s milk. I had to use my rice milk and this proved too watery (especially with the extra fluid from the veggies). If you choose to use rice milk as well, I’d recommend increasing the flour and cheese amounts in the sauce rather than reducing the milk content, or you won’t have enough sauce in which to coat the veggies & pasta. You could also try adding a little mustard powder or cayenne pepper to the sauce if you like it, since it seemed a touch bland to me….but nothing that a touch of Himalayan salt wouldn’t fix!

Riding with Saints Boys (30 July-5 August)

Published on May 16, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 30/7/84

Hectic morning. Different bus driver – has funny smile & beard & ‘mo’. Boring but fast day. Talked to Sandra F. on way home – told her I’d live next to her – she shrugged it off. Watched Olympic Games in History.

Tuesday 31/7/84

LUCY’S BIRTHDAY up at 7:00 watched Olympics. Took 80c for lunchtime party. Fi’s german class watched video – we couldn’t it was booked out. Got Dolly & read article ’bout a girl who lost heapsa weight made me more determined now. Today went so slow.

Wednesday 1/8/84

Watched Olympics in am again (as per usual). After a boring school I got off bus to meet mim a (she left CHS sports carnival at 1:00 & decided to meet me off the bus) MIRACLE!! Met Fi & went to shop. Two guys whistled at us & we sped off to our tree. They found us when we’d finished eating & chased us & we chased them all arvy (Even thru’ speech!) But after, they had to go to a BMX thingo. I didn’t do any HW xept BP.

Thursday 2/8/84

PAPA HAD A HEART ATTACK THIS MORNING. THEY GOT THERE JUST IN TIME. I thought he was dead. He’s alright now. Toni has a racer Big Whoop! Watched Olympics in history & BIG Lunch. PM: my bag broke, i.e. 1 handle. Also, mim, Fi & elisia came round & we went to the shop & guess wot! We used tactics but Wayne & Bevan (YR 10 – Saints) cornered us. Asked mim & Fi to Space Skate (Elisia was translator between the 2 parties) but mim & Fi said they couldn’t skate. The guys said there were ‘other’ things they could do. Filth! But mim & Fi made up stories about big hunky boy friends!

Friday 3/8/84

Got up early (Luc rang to see what I was wearing) After little lunch received our assigned areas & ropes & began jumping at 12:00 till 3:00. Was great fun!! Had ‘showers’ under the hoses & drank 1 Litre water! Got burnt, too. Wrote to Jodie & Mike tonite & also to Papa, Uncle John & Co. Julie H. & her mum came round (late nite)

Saturday 4/8/84

Lost every game at tennis today. 1/4 -0, 2/3 -1, 3/3 -2 Bad!! Mr B. rode in with us – it was his turn on the parent roster. Beka didn’t go because her team had a ‘bye’. SO WHAT? Bitch. [I’m not sure why Beka deserved the name-calling here?] At home; prepared for Lucy’s party. Was fun (movie was slack). Toni, Karen & Rebecca P. & me rode to the shop on way home. Then went separate ways.

Sunday 5/8/84

Very slack day. Watched TV until did english essay. Ate & Ate & Ate. Mum seriously thinks I have a tapeworm. (I’m FAT.) Bed at 9:00. Mim & Fi came up in the morning to see where on the slab was my bedroom. That’s all. They went home, & I didn’t see them for the rest of the day.

‘Spaß’ at German Camp (23-29 July)

Published on May 15, 2013 by Elissa Coxen2 Comments

Monday 23/7/84

Boring! Fi bought my 8 patty cakes to school & I ate 7 of them. UMAH! Am now excited about the German Camp (commencing Thursday 9.15 till Saturday 2:30 (pm)) Almost finished my mile-long list! Went to town in pm & got new joggers (Addidas – dark grey with light grey stripes & built-in arches. sub-title “Road Trainer” VERY VERY COMFY! Also tonight watched a special 90min episode of Sons & Daughters GOOD!!

Tuesday 24/7/84

Toni came today with a pussy cat! They found it on their porch in the morning. We let it out but it came back in the arvy. Boring skool day. Am tired. Went to town & got a pair of white $4 shorts! I ♥ them! And 2 shirts both of which do not fit. We’ll take ’em back tomorrow, I think…

Wednesday 25/7/84

Took back the shirts – got an aqua T shirt in place of the yellow one & an orange striped “sweat” T shirt instead of the purple striped one. Today went ‘moderately’ fast. Little excited. Went to Julia’s “Joseph” [and the Technicolour Dreamcoat] concert. Rebecca P & Natasha were there. Natasha said she’d not packed yet like me but Rebecca had. After concert Mum went to a National Trust meeting so I stayed up a while and packed in a few things.

Thursday 26/7/84

Sooo excited that I felt sick this morning – didn’t have brekky – ran round frantically packing. Fi’s mum took us to school. At the Dorm’s (Scout Club) we unpacked, had fruit for morning tea & group 1 (me, Fi, Beka, Becca P. Lucy, Natalie P. & agnes) made gingerbread hearts. Then started our paper mache puppets. sammys (sandwiches) for lunch & made Blackforest cake – arvy tea & swim. Wade & Shane swam out to an old log (soggy) we followed. Shane took off his shoe to get some “snails” out & Wade told Fi to climb up she swung up & with force grabbed the branch – it snapped & Wade, Fi & Shane toppled into the water. They swore like hell at her – was all so funny! Had a shower & free time. After tea watched a german film with sub titles. Was treadly.

Got to sleep 12:30 after swapping dorms (dormitarys) & talking and sticking our heads out the back doors etc

Friday 27/7/84

Woke 7:30 instead of 7:00. After run & exercises, had brekky & spent all morning on paper mache puppets then swim then free time & after arvy tea we held the puppet plays on video Shame! After, had showers & played bingo. I won 2/10 games! And our group (the gang) won 7/10 altogether! Had tea then disco where Beka won another choccy so we had 8!! Justine, Beka & Wade ‘rapped’. [That’s rapDANCING, not ‘singing’ just to clarify] Justine couldn’t 4 nuts but Beka & Wade were good. We feasted on the 8 choccy prizes tonite in our Dorms. Lucy didn’t want one so we all had 1 each. Got to sleep at 1:30.

Saturday 28/7/84

(sad to leave german camp – was ripper fun.) Up late again, did run & had brekky. Free time then went hiking. After swim & lunch, everyone started leaving. At home I rested until the Bluelight (was BORING) & I mean boring.

Sunday 29/7/84

Watched Olympic Games opening. I didn’t find it so “emotional”. Went to Dad’s after Rod was there – they were taping music for his & Margie’s wedding. Watched Countdown “Beat Street” finals, had tea & Margie came so I had a late night cos’ she rattled on about rap, breakdance, family trees etc… Forgot to bring my bra, undies & shirt stoopid

Show Fervour & Binge Guilts (16-22 July)

Published on May 14, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 16/7/84

Sooo tired this morning! Did exercises & couldn’t take my eyes off the book! When were ready Dad drove us home where Toni was & packed lunch. When we pulled up at school, I finished “Lovers & Gamblers” ‘Happy’ ending but I didn’t like it cos’ too many good characters die. Mucked around today – it went fast. Surprising amount of HW. Did some title pages in Toni’s History & Science books & she paid me with a pkt of chips. Personally, I don’t think that’s enough!…

Tuesday 17/7/84

Woke early, got to bus stop early. Quite tired, in fact, VERY tired, have been all day. At School, Mr Howard was bashed up. (Not at school, dummy) He came with 2 black eyes, bruised nose & grazes. Musta bin in a fight. Went shopping & bought red tights & hair mousse. Hairdressers were booked out – couldn’t find shorts or scarves either.

Wednesday 18/7/84

Day went really quick – was so excited about tonight. Came home, had bath, dressed & went to speech. Fi rode me home coz mum forgot me & was late. Had dinner & went. Was UNNRREEEAL. Am so excited for Friday now! It’ll be Triffic

Thursday 19/7/84

After a LONG, SLOW day, I gorged on the choccy’s from my Show bags. I’ll never get them again – waste of money. Watched TV & relaxed. Actually wrote a 6 page letter!!! (To Jodie & Mike) [our ‘closest’ cousins – mum’s sister’s offspring] Me? Yes! Have planned out tomorrow; Sleep in, have brekky….

Friday 20/7/84

LAST DAY OF THE SHOW – OHHH!!! Had the usual show day holiday. Planned out my morning – did everything perfectly. Got to mim’s at 1:30, Fi got there at 2:00 & we left at 2:45. Had the greatest time EVER! Went on the Orion: 2, Whizzer: 1, Paratrooper: 2, Ferris wheel: 1, Hurricane: 1 & Gravitron: 1 Truly, totally unreel! Met Justine etc & Jason P. & Mark!♥ But I don’t think he even sees me. Oh well – I don’t mind dreaming!

Saturday 21/7/84

Woke at 7:30. Rushed for tennis – Martin D. dropped us in. After, walked to Stereo World – drove mim & Fi to our place – ate lunch – went to mims & swam all arvy (till 3:00) Went to Fi’s & cooked custard and some patty cakes. At home, slept well.

Sunday 22/7/84

Woke at 8:00 & lazed around all day Umah! Feel guilty about eating between snacks & the HORRIBLE bulges of FAT on my stomach. I want to get rid of them but my will power isn’t strong enough. Anyhow watched TV all day – early or reasonably early night. Am not looking forward to school 2morrow.

Birthday Clothes Shopping (9-15 July)

Published on May 13, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 9/7/84 Nana’s Birthday

2ND SEMESTER 1ST DAY BACK. Woke early. Made cards & almost missed bus. Boring day – Shane broke his arm – suck eggs! No one noticed my teeth – I had to tell them! Held a yummy dinner for Nana!

Tuesday 10/7/84

Wasn’t excited in the least! Still aren’t Altogether I now hove $69 in my money box ($5 from working for dad + $14 mum, $5 julia, $20 Geoff, $10 Nana & $12 Jodie & Michael & Co. Extra $3 was my own. Luckily no one sang Happy Birthday, but almost did. Chook, pavlova & Nin & I cut our cake! Also got my black shoes. Fi gave me a black chain necklace & a Sportsgirl bag (to take my tennis things in) Lucy gave me beautiful coral earrings but STUPID me lost one.

Wednesday 11/7/84

Wore one earring to school. Boring day. Am now really stuck into a rudy book Lucy gave me – “Lovers & Gamblers” OK… Mim gave me (at speech) a basket of lollies (most of which she ate.)

Thursday 12/7/84

Dunno why but today I feel different. Went fast today. Practised skipping for the Jump Rope for Heart skipathon, fed the cats for the last time & went late nite with my $69. Bought red’n’black check blouse, red floppy sox, red belt, grey vest & black jumper 4 the show. Had $7 left UNBELIEVABLE! Bought everyone a drink. Crawled into bed

Friday 13/7/84

Papa has yet to give me $20 (I hope) I’ll keep that for summer fashions. Got my money from St C’s [the family whose cats I’d been feeding for the previous fortnight] $60! I’ll use $40 for the show ← I can’t wait. My terrific outfit is planned. Boring day. did more jump rope at school & almost finished book!

Saturday 14/7/84

Got to Beka’s & decided we didn’t want to ride so rang mum (we were running late anyway) Played exceptionally well considering we hadn’t played in 2 weeks. After walked from courts in Dalrymple St, Edge Hill, to Stereo World (PUFF! PUFF!) Chose movies & Mr B. dropped us to Beka’s. Had lunch & rode home. Grabbed me speech stuff for drama practise. While mim was in, Fi & I (word) fought with little cheeky kids next door. Mrs McI. helped me a lot. Staying at mim’s now. Watched (boring) Boy George concert & “American Werewolf in London” for the 6th time. Fell asleep around 12:00.

Sunday 15/7/84

Got 9½hrs sleep! (woke at 9:30) Dozed till 11:15. Brunch was chips, saveloys & fish fingers then at shop bought HEAPS & I mean HEAPS of lollies & went our own ways. Packed for Dad’s & started HW. At 6:00 took HW but didn’t do any. Watched movie. Read a lot too. Sleep well I hope.

Marshmallow Fail, Static Electricity & Conan (2-8 July)

Published on May 12, 2013 by Elissa CoxenLeave a comment

Monday 2/7/84

At 5:15am today it was 8.5°C. Lowest temperature recorded since ’65 (7.3°C) COOOLD!! Tho’ Hobarts max. today is expected 8°C! Our max 4 tomorrow is 23°C! Townsville 4.5°C, Irvinbank -10°C Herberton -2.5°C. Cairns coldest ever was in 1932: 6.8°C. But today, at work did Women’s Weekly Puzzeler & some book work for dad. Staying 2nite again

Tuesday 3/7/84

At home, Mima came up & we made Marshmallow – what a mess! It boiled over & under the hotplates. We had to cleaned it up (euch!) Bonza tea of meat pie. Est. temperature minimum is 10°C tonight – not as bad as last night but not as good either – course it is! I love WINTER & JULY! When Polly came over I had to try’n’sleep in an ice cold bed! BRRR!

Wednesday 4/7/84

Polly, Julia, mima & I went to town with mum & in Suzie Cue like in all shops, the carpet gave us electric shocks. I rubbed my feet & touched Julia. We nearly fell over! There was a LOUD POP & we were SHOCKED Badly! After I got my braces tightened went to Earlville & Kmart (saw Mark!♥) Then had powder & towel fights before feeding the cats. I flung the meat accidently into some bushes when the others told me to swing it round & flick the blood on each other & it broke!! On Tuesday Julia told mima I like Mark. Knew I couldn’t trust her.

Thursday 5/7/84

At mima’s worked with clay until they went out at 10:30. I had a key so, at home, watched TV till Brewers picked me up again about 2:30. Watched “Conan the Barbarian” on their video – alright, mum picked me up, I fed the cats & had a late night at home.

Friday 6/7/84

At 8:40 mima rang & asked me into town. There was a big mix-up. I couldn’t make the 9:00 bus as she had asked. She got on thinking I was down near Griffith St – it was Clare McK. So I rang Mrs B. & she picked me up on her way in. I met mima & we walked around. At 12, saw Fi & Sandy Lee (they were waiting for greyhound bus – SL was leaving. She is nice after-all. I misjudged as usual. We missed the bus cos mim a wanted to buy some books, but the Dunphys dropped us home. Watched TV Dad came. Staying at Dad’s 2nite.

Saturday 7/7/84

Lazed about at home. Mima rang in the arvy & I went up to help her & practise speech work. Ex’s were very hard. Mum picked me up, fed the cats, and had a late night at home.

Sunday 8/7/84

Read Dolly & helped Julia with her Spain project all day. Watched TV etc. Fed the cats & went to bed quite early. I’d summarize the holidays as good, fattening (did exercises only for 1 week) am fat now. Finally, me teeth are together! See, on Wednesday when I had them tightened, they became so close I almost fainted. The next morning they were shut. Looks great – UNREEEEEEAL!!!

My First Mother’s Day Without Her

Published on May 11, 2013 by Elissa Coxen5 Comments

I know I have dealt with my mother’s death well. I’m ‘lucky’ enough to have extremely solid spiritual beliefs which ‘remind’ me of the positive aspects of her no longer being Here. But she left her body just 19 weeks ago, so Mothers Day 2013 will be my First without her.

I don’t normally write poetry – I don’t think I have since school – but earlier in the week leading up to this day, these sentiments & words came to me, late at night when I would normally be sleeping. It’s more about me than her…but that’s all Grief is: Selfishness. We simply lament the loss of our Loved One’s physical presence. Our pain is for our personal loss. In this particular moment, I was mourning the loss of her physical affection, the real connection & pure love I felt when we hugged and kissed each other. There’s currently no one to take her place.

I found a pothole,
A chink in my armour.
There’s no one there;
No connection, no affection
No physical warmth
Only air on my lips.
You are the only one
I could bear
But you’re gone.
Not two thousand kilometres,
But light years.
My heart is still broken;
You promised you’d be in touch
Before you left.
I need your arms around me,
Please mum,
I miss you so much.

xoxo